I couldn’t stay in that room with the machine letting off that long, steady sound that meant he was gone. My brothers were adults. They didn’t need me to stand with them the way I’d needed to when we lost Grandma Olive or our parents and sister. But I couldn’t let them see how much I was hurting either. I needed to be alone.

When I heard her say my name, I’d almost told her to leave me the hell alone. But she’d asked if I was okay, and she’d meant it. Not because she was after my money or wanted something from me, but because she really wanted to know. I was honest when I told her there was nothing she could do, but when she hadn’t let me go, something in me snapped.

And I kissed her.

Again.

But this time, she didn’t push me away. This time, her arms were around my neck and her lips parted under mine. This time, I buried a hand in her hair, put the other on the small of her back, and poured everything I was feeling into her.

And for each one of those blissful seconds, I wasn’t thinking about anything except the way her body felt pressed against mine, the taste of her on my tongue.

I wanted her.

No, more than that. I needed her.

She was the only person I could let see me this way. She wouldn’t hold it against me, wouldn’t think less of me for the pain I was in. She had no preconceived notions of who I was, and she didn’t want anything from me. I didn’t need to worry about us being splashed across the tabloids or her coming to me for money. This could just be about me forgetting.

I heard a sound behind me and realized that we were still standing in front of the doors. I didn’t want to stop kissing Syll though. Once I did, I wasn’t sure she’d let me do it again, and I really needed to keep doing it. I wrapped my arms around her and spun us around, so we were tucked into a small alcove behind a potted palm tree.

She made a surprised sound but didn’t push me away. Her fingers dug into my hair, her teeth nipping at my lips before her tongue slid across mine. I pushed my knee between her thighs, rocking against her until she gasped. That was the spot. She squirmed, but I held her in place.

There were so many parts of my life that I couldn’t control, and today had been the worst in a long time. But this, with her, was something I could control. Unless she told me to stop, I was going to make her come right here.

I pushed my leg against her harder, then bit her bottom lip, my entire body humming with a desperation I didn’t fully understand. All I knew was that I’d never wanted a woman to come so badly before.

Her body tensed, and I knew she was fighting it. That just made me want it more.

“Let go,” I murmured against her mouth before I took it again.

A shudder ran through her, and I swallowed any sounds she would have made. My cock strained against my pants, and a part of me wanted to fuck her right here.

And then I remembered that here was the hospital where my grandfather had just died.

I ended the kiss but didn’t pull away from her. I rested my forehead against hers, our mingled breathing sounding harsh in the relative seclusion of our little corner.

“I don’t want to go home,” I said, raising my head so I could look at her face. Her cheeks were flushed, pupils dilated, and her lips swollen.

Fuck.

“Jax.”

Her voice was low, husky, and a bolt of desire so sharp it was almost painful went through me.

“I don’t want to be alone.”

Her eyes met mine, and I waited for her to make her decision. I probably could have coaxed her, guilted her, but I didn’t want to do that. I wanted her to choose to be with me. Tonight. Just tonight.

“I closed the bar tonight,” she said. “The weather’s supposed to be bad.”

I brushed my lips across hers. “Sounds like the perfect night to stay in.” I started to straighten, then stopped as she grabbed my arms. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“My legs need a moment,” she said wryly. Her blush deepened, and my cock throbbed as I imagined that color spreading across the rest of her skin.

“Here.” I helped her over to a chair. “Where’s your coat?”

* * *

I was worried that when I came back downstairs with Syll’s coat, the heat between us would’ve cooled enough for her to think twice about her offer, but all that happened was that she’d taken her coat and held out a hand to me.

I called my car service when I’d been going for her coat, so the town car was waiting when we walked outside. That burst of cold and swirl of snow that greeted us when we stepped outside made me grateful I’d thought ahead.

We didn’t talk on the ride over to the bar, and the only place we touched was our hands. It was strange. The nervous energy that had consumed me for the past day and a half was gone, but it hadn’t left behind the exhaustion that I usually felt after I’d been running on adrenaline for more than a day. Instead, I felt…grounded.

I didn’t understand it, but I wasn’t going to pick it apart either. For once in my life, I was just going to go with it.

“My place isn’t going to be anything like what you’re used to,” she said as we entered the bar and headed for the back.

I could hear the nerves in her voice and squeezed her hand. “Thank you for letting me be here.”

She nodded as she took off her boots and coat. “Do you want something to drink? I have beer, water, and some orange juice.”

I stepped up behind her and wrapped my arm around her waist. “I’m not thirsty.”

She turned and pushed herself up on her tiptoes to kiss my chin. “Me either.”

I picked her up, cutting the height difference so I could kiss her as I walked her back to a worn overstuffed chair. I sat down, arranging her on my lap until she had a knee on either side of my legs.

Like this, we were the same height, and she looked in my eyes as she ran her fingers through my hair. I could see questions there, but she didn’t ask any. This time, she initiated the kiss, and she didn’t hold back.

I lost myself in her, my brain processing only the sensations of her and me and what we were doing.

She tasted like mint and chocolate – cocoa maybe – and I could catch the scent of it even under the smell of her shampoo. Her mouth was hot, lips soft, and they moved with mine in perfect rhythm.

Her curves fit perfectly against my hands, and I squeezed her ass before moving up under her shirt. Her skin was soft and hot under my palms, and as I moved to pull her shirt over her head, I waited for her to protest. Instead, she let me toss it aside, then moaned as I kissed my way down her chest. Her head fell back, hair brushing against the back of my hands as I nipped and licked the exposed skin just above the black cotton of her bra.

“Fuck, Syll, I can’t wait to see you come again.”

I didn’t know if it was what I said, or the fact that I’d spoken, but whatever it was made her freeze.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked, and she scrambled off my lap. “I’m sorry, Jax, I shouldn’t have – I have a boyfriend.”

A pitcher of ice water wouldn’t have killed my libido more. “Excuse me?”

“You know that,” she said as she bent over and picked up her shirt. “He punched you in the face, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember.” I stood. “But I figured you’d ended things with him. Because why in the fuck would you have done any of this if you were still with him?”

“I’m sorry,” she said again. She looked miserable, but I refused to feel any sympathy for her.

I shook my head. “I’ll see myself out.”