Two months ago, if you’d told me I’d be lying here on this table, waiting for an X-ray after being involved in a car accident with three rockstars – one of them driving under the influence – I would’ve laughed in your face. Not even LA Mia had scrapes like this.
‘OK,’ the X-ray technician says, approaching me with her clipboard. ‘I just need to ask you a few quick questions, then we’ll get started.’
‘OK,’ I say softly, before answering her questions on autopilot. I just want to get this over with.
‘When was your last period?’ she asks.
‘Hmm?’ I say, turning to look her in the eye.
‘Your last period,’ she repeats. ‘Do you know when it was?’
‘I’m not sure,’ I tell her. ‘I keep track of it in my phone, but my phone is still in the car.’
‘Well, is there any chance you could be pregnant?’ she asks.
‘Erm… no, I don’t think so.’
‘Would you like to take a test?’ she asks me. ‘To be sure.’
I think for a second. We’re more than halfway through December now, I think, and I definitely had my period just before Halloween because I remember the little jolts of anxiety I felt all evening, because I was wearing a white dress. So I’m expecting one just after Christmas, but did I have one in November? I’m not sure…
‘Have you been trying for a baby?’ she asks me.
‘No.’
‘Have you been practising safe sex?’
‘I haven’t been practising, I’m really good at it,’ I joke awkwardly. ‘There’s no way I could be pregnant. Sorry, my head is just a little bit all over the place since the crash.’
‘So long as you’re sure,’ she replies.
My mind is does somersaults as I’m wheeled back to A&E. It’s the middle of the night, but you’d never know being in here, where there are no windows and busy, wide-awake people everywhere.
I’m waiting to see a doctor, to get my results. I don’t feel too bad. I’m just in pain with my ankle, my chest and my stomach. The doctor I saw thought it safest I be X-rayed to make sure nothing was broken, but she suspects it’s just bruising. Still, I’ll worry myself sick until the second it’s confirmed.
From where I’m lying, I can see a small TV mounted on the wall. They’ve got some rolling news channel on, running a feature on how the homeless survive through Christmas. That’s what you want when you’re in hospital, right? Something to lift your mood…
‘Back to our main story of the morning,’ the reporter starts. ‘For those of you just tuning in, we received word earlier today that pop mega star Dylan King has been involved in a car accident. It’s being reported that, after a party at his house, he and two members of hot new band Ganzás – Finley Collins and Alexander Driscoll – got into a black Range Rover Sport, crashing not long after. We’ll be bringing you more details as we get them. It is being reported, although it has not yet been confirmed, that alcohol may have been a factor in this accident. As we reported earlier, there was one other female passenger involved in the accident. More on this story as it develops.’
‘Oh shit,’ I say out loud to myself.
‘Shit indeed,’ Leo says.
I am so happy to see his face and hear his voice, I immediately burst into tears.
‘Leo,’ I sob, holding my arms out for a cuddle. He gently obliges but his relief to see me OK soon dissolves into anger.
Before he gets to say anything, the doctor arrives.
‘OK, Mia, so I have your results. Just as we suspected, no broken bones or anything like that. Just bruising to chest and stomach, as is fairly common for someone in a accident who is wearing their seatbelt. It’s not very nice, it will hurt for a while, but obviously you’re in a far better way than you would have been, had you not been wearing your seatbelt. As for the ankle, it’s just bruising, no broken bones or dislocation. I’m thinking perhaps you hit it on something during the crash? Again, it will hurt, but the bruises should clear in a couple of weeks.’
I breathe a sigh of relief.
‘Thank God,’ I say. ‘How are the others?’
‘I’m afraid I can’t discuss other patients with you, Mia,’ the doctor tells me. ‘But I’ve set the wheels in motion for letting you go home. Someone will be along shortly to get you out of that gown, sort out your pain relief and so on. Any questions?’
‘No, thank you for everything,’ I say.
‘OK, I have to go. Please don’t get in cars with drunk people in the future,’ the doctor says sternly as he dashes off.
‘Mia, what the hell were you thinking?’ Leo asks me once we’re alone.
‘Leo, I didn’t know he was drunk. I never would have got in a car with him if I’d known,’ I insist.
‘Could you not tell he was drunk?’
‘He didn’t seem drunk. But I’d only just met the guy, so I didn’t know him well enough to be able to tell if he seemed drunk for him or not, y’know?’
‘You didn’t know him well, and yet you got in a car with him?’ he replies angrily.
‘Dylan, I promise you, I would never knowingly risk my life like that.’
‘Leo,’ he snaps.
‘What?’
‘Leo,’ he repeats slowly. ‘My name is Leo. Dylan is the one who nearly got you killed.’
‘Shit, sorry,’ I say, reaching for his hand. ‘My head is all over the place.’
‘Where is your engagement ring?’ he asks, noticing it isn’t on my finger.
‘It’s in my bag,’ I tell him. ‘I took it off. My fingers were hurting and kind of swollen.’
Leo runs his hands through his hair as he puffs air from his cheeks.
‘Do my parents know?’ I ask.
‘No,’ he tells me. ‘I got the call at work and rushed straight over.’
Leo is wearing the navy-blue shirt and trousers he usually wears for work. I feel bad he’s had to drive all the way here when I’m fine. Still, I need to get home, I suppose. I just hate to see this look on his face – he looks so disappointed in me. I’ve only seen this look once before, before we got together properly, and it broke my heart then too.
‘I know you’re kinda mad at me…’
‘Kinda mad at you?’ Leo echoes. ‘Mia, I’m furious. You could have got yourself killed.’
‘I know, and I’m sorry,’ I say, starting to feel like a broken record. ‘But… please, I just need you to be nice to me. It’s been a horrible night, I’ve been so scared… Can we do this later?’
‘Shall I go get the car?’ he asks. ‘Bring it to the door so we don’t have to trail you to the far end of the car park?’
‘Please,’ I say.
‘Here’s your phone, by the way. The police officer I spoke to gave it to me.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Back soon,’ he tells me, heading for the door.
I unlock my phone and open up my calendar.
Several large tears roll from my eyes, which I quickly wipe away.
‘It’s the relief of being OK, isn’t it?’ says the lovely nurse who has been looking after me.
‘Yes,’ I lie.
She helps me down from the trolley and sits me in a wheelchair.
‘Let’s go get you your clothes,’ she says as she pushes me.
‘Can I ask you a question, please?’
‘Of course,’ she replies.
‘I took a pregnancy test before my X-ray, just to make sure I wasn’t pregnant,’ I tell her.
‘Sure,’ she replies.
‘It was negative, but I seem to have skipped a period. I just wondered what else can cause that.’
‘Well, one missed period with no other symptoms isn’t really anything to worry about. We all skip one at some point, usually down to lifestyle elements. Have you been stressed or dieting?’
‘Both,’ I tell her.
‘Well, there you go. Try not to worry,’ she reassures me. ‘Wait and see what happens. If you skip another, maybe make an appointment to see your GP and get checked out. How old are you?’
‘I’m 33,’ I reply.
‘Do you have any kids?’
‘No,’ I reply.
‘Well, like I said, wait and see what happens, I’m sure it will turn up.’
She squeezes my shoulder reassuringly.
‘Thanks,’ I reply.
A first I was worried I was pregnant, but now I’m worried something might be wrong with me – I didn’t even think about my fertility. I don’t suppose anyone thinks about it until they need it, do they?
How have things got so messy so quickly? Leo is mad at me, my mum is mad at me – she’ll be even angrier when she finds out about this accident. I don’t know what’s up with me at the moment, but if I don’t figure it out soon, I’m going to drive everyone away.