Chloe

Gabi follows me into my office. “Do you want to talk about anything? You know I can clock out for a few minutes and put on my best friend hat if you need me to.”

“Your best friend hat?” I smile. “Is that different from your assistant hat because I was under the assumption that they were one in the same.”

She twists her mouth into an over exaggerated frown. “You know what I mean. We can push aside all the work we need to go over and talk about what happened before you got to work yesterday.”

“Nothing happened,” I lie.

I didn’t say a word to Gabi yesterday about my awkward conversation with Evan. I raced to my office after I left the café, trying to regain some of the composure I’d left behind.

I wasn’t successful.

I breezed past Gabi’s desk and slammed my own office door behind me.

She was on my heel and as quickly as I closed the door, she opened it back up with a demand that I tell her what was going on.

I couldn’t. The words wouldn’t form on my tongue so I waved her away with an excuse about a work problem.

She didn’t buy it since she’s the one I’m always confiding in when something goes wrong in the office.

“Gabi.” I take a step toward her so I can hold her hands in mine. “I love that you’re concerned about me but you don’t need to be. I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

“If it was nothing you wouldn’t have looked the way you did.” She tilts her head so she can look me directly in the eyes. “I know you. Something happened that knocked your world off its axis. You know you can tell me anything.”

I do know that. Gabi is one of the few people in my life I can say anything to and I know that she’ll never repeat it.

The professional part of that is related to the non-disclosure agreement she signed when she started working for me. The personal side of that is based on the strength of our friendship.

I give in because I can tell by the look on her face that she’s not going to let this go. “I saw Evan yesterday morning and we talked about some stuff.”

“Evan and stuff, “ she repeats back. “You need to give me more than that.”

I smile. “It was really personal. He asked me intimate questions. We’ve done intimate things so why did it freak me out when he asked me intimate questions?”

“What questions?” The level of concern in her tone rises. “Does he want to try some kinky stuff that you’re not sure of? I’ve done most everything so ask away if you need more info on any of that.”

I cringe inwardly. “No, it’s nothing like that.”

“I’m not following, Chloe. You can just tell me what the questions were. I promise you’re not going to shock me.”

I know I won’t. I doubt anything would shock her after the confession she just made.

I wait for a beat before I respond. “He was worried that the condom had broken on that first night we spent together.”

“Did it?”

I shrug. “I didn’t notice if it did. I showered when I got home and I…I just don’t know.”

“Has he been tested recently?” She moves closer. “We can go to my doctor right now for the tests. She’ll fit you in.”

“He was more worried about the possibility that I might be pregnant.”

Realization washes over her expression. Gabi knows. She was one of the people who talked me through those years and helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. “I’m sorry, Chloe. That had to have been rough for you.”

“I told him,” I admit. “I just came right out and told him why he didn’t need to worry about me getting pregnant.”

“You told him?”

I nod. “He was scared. I wanted to reassure him so I told him that I’m infertile.”

“Did you tell him everything?” She scans my face. “Does he know what caused it?”

I shake my head briskly. “That’s inconsequential. It doesn’t matter why I can’t have children. All that matters is that it’s not possible.”

“You’re right,” she says assuredly. “That’s not any of his business.”

It’s not. I’ve been trying to convince myself of that fact since I walked out of the café.

Evan and I are casual lovers who had a short-lived scare. It doesn’t change the fact that our relationship doesn’t involve long conversations about the past.

He doesn’t need to know the brutal details of what happened to me before we met. That’s my past and it belongs to me. I have every intention of keeping it that way.