5
Zander pulls into the same spot he was in yesterday as I glance around the neighborhood. It appears much less seedy and grungy than last night.
“What made you choose to place your offices here?”
Zander shrugs. “More work in this area, and we prove that we’re not afraid of any sort of crime.”
I consider that, still not sold on it as a good idea.
“Besides, if things are ever a little slow in the office, we have plenty we can do around here to help. Since we’ve moved in, our surveillance has helped solve numerous crimes. Englewood has actually dropped down in crime since the criminals know to avoid this area now.”
“Well, I clearly didn’t get the memo. Am I the first to steal a car from under your nose?” I ask only to try to slightly rub that fact in.
He turns and glares at me, but it is lacking any heat.
I just smile in return.
“You got lucky. I was busy, and my other guys were out. A couple hours earlier and Sasha would have been watching that video feed like a hawk. She would have gotten you as you started to approach.”
“Who is Sasha?”
“She’s the office manager slash receptionist.”
“And the surveillance manager, too?”
“No, but she says she gets bored sometimes and likes to watch who goes into the strip club across the road. It just has an added benefit of our parking lot being in her view.”
“Oh,” I mutter, having no idea what to say to that.
“Let’s go.”
I wince as I step outside the car. Not only am I again out in public, somewhere Brian or his men could be, but I’m also still in Zander’s clothes and currently commando. I’m not sure I have ever gone anywhere out in public without underwear, and I am definitely not liking the feeling.
“You okay?” Zander asks, treading confidently around the car and coming up to me.
He appears completely put-together in his dark blue suit and burgundy tie. He looks like he might be ready to step onto a runway, while I’m in clothes too big.
I consider asking if I could borrow enough money to buy something else to wear, even just a few dollars to buy some cheap panties and a bra, but Zander is already doing so much. He’s way over his quota for helping a complete stranger. No need to push it.
“Just trying to get used to feeling this naked,” I blurt out.
What? Why the hell did I just say that?
His mouth drops open a little, telling me he quickly figures out why I feel naked. There is a moment when he just blinks at me in what I assume is shock. One, long, drawn-out moment that has me feeling even more uncomfortable. Then it passes as he quickly turns away from me and begins a fast pace toward his office.
I struggle to keep up, and then I can’t help feeling like I have stepped through a portal once inside, landing inside a swanky neighborhood.
Everything is shiny and new looking, and in a weird way, it feels warm. Not so much the temperature, but the feeling it gives off. Dark brown wooden coffee table, black leather couches and seating, with dark cream walls. It’s sort of like my dream living room, except we are in an office, and it is clearly missing the nice big screen TV that is in my living room fantasy. Also, there is a large chunky desk that I never envisioned in my fantasy, which will need to change immediately.
I freaking love this desk!
Drawn to the furniture rather than the person sitting at it, I make my way over to the desk that is covered in chaos and run my hands over the timber. It’s smooth and looks far sturdier than the one I have at home, which is an IKEA one that I put together myself. It only took three tries, and I have always been worried it might collapse since I had eight bolts left over at the end.
Eight!
I get throwing in an extra one just in case, but who throws in an extra eight! No one, meaning I missed something.
“Are those Zander’s clothes?” a woman asks, snapping me out of my desk envy fever and forcing me to focus on her.
The woman has an afro, dark brown skin, and eyelashes that seem unnaturally long, but also make her eyes pop. When she stands, I see she is tall, slim, and absolutely stunning. And she is grinning at me. Actually, she is bouncing on her feet in clear excitement.
“Sasha, did you do what I asked?” Zander saves me from having to recall what she even asked me since I was too busy taking her in.
I glance over at Zander to see why he sounds irritated. Have I done something wrong already?
“Well, I’m not your slave, so picking up clothes isn’t actually part of my job,” she simply informs him without an inch of fear in her voice.
Zander’s eyes bug out, clearly not agreeing with that statement. “As your boss, I’m fairly certain that type of thing is part of your job if I say it is.”
“I’m here to answer phones—”
“And listen in on private conversations,” he mutters, narrowing his eyes on her.
“I wear a headset that sometimes randomly locks in to other calls. I have no idea why it does that.” She shrugs innocently. However, the wink she gives me sort of ruins her innocence. Especially since Zander is standing right next to me and sees it.
“It does that because you pick up the line and connect!” he snaps.
There is something that feels routine about this argument, like they have had it dozens of times before. Neither one seems too mad or worried.
“Whatever. Last month, when you had that freaky woman calling you, I was able to get Jerry to trace it immediately. No need for you to do that stupid hand waving signaling thing.”
“I was already typing a message to Jerry to have him trace it!”
“So, I saved you some concentration.” She shrugs halfheartedly. “Look, the moral of the story here is that I bought this lovely looking lady, who is totally wearing your clothes, a new outfit and now you owe me a favor.”
When Zander first walked in, he looked professional, put-together, and calm. Now his hair is in disarray from rubbing his hand through it; his calm façade is broken, his body appearing tense, with a new glare directed Sasha’s way; and it takes him all of two minutes to pull on his tie, loosening it.
“Fine, whatever. Just give Ava the clothes.”
I’m touched and incredibly happy that he has thought of this. I didn’t even have to ask. Then again, his generosity is just too much. How am I ever supposed to pay this back? It’s not just about the money, but also the trust and kindness. I have never had that directed at me like this. It feels overwhelming.
“I can do that. Just know that your credit card might have gotten an extra workout today because, well, you know, you owed me a favor, anyway, and I never got a Christmas bonus last year,” she continues to calmly inform him while waving me over as she moves away from behind her desk.
“You only started working for me in January!” Zander’s outburst makes me jump.
Sasha shrugs at him then reaches down and pulls out a bag with material sticking out of the top. She then hands it over to me. “Here you go. I’ll show you to the bathroom where you can have some privacy.”
“Meet me in my office when you’re done,” Zander orders before stomping away, getting caught up by a man before he can take more than a few steps.
This one is taller than Zander, but leaner. He has light brown hair, bright blue eyes I can see from across the room, a shaggy beard, and he has clearly been working out. Not only obvious from his workout gear, but the fact that he still seems to be catching his breath.
He looks like he could be Zander’s brother, except I know he only has Van. Cousin maybe?
“Declan is definitely, and unfortunately, worthy of staring. But I think you might have your hands full with Zander,” Sasha tells me, as we both stand still by her desk, eyeing the men who appear far too serious for this early in the day.
“What do you mean by hands full?”
“You’re in his clothes, in his office, and you slept over at his place last night,” she excitedly informs me like I didn’t realize any of these facts myself.
“Oh, it’s not what you think. I don’t have anything else to wear, and he was just being nice last—”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. Zander is a saint. Now, tell me”—she leans closer to me as she takes ahold of my arm and guides me down a hallway, stopping us at the first door and opening it up to reveal a swanky bathroom to go with the shiny reception area—“what does Zander Jameson’s bedroom look like? Does he actually have a bed, or just a port he plugs himself into to recharge?”
My eyebrow rises at her question and because she pushes me into the bathroom and closes the door with her still inside. I suppose her privacy comment doesn’t extend to her.
“I never saw his bedroom.”
“You didn’t?” She frowns at this. “He made you sleep on the couch?”
“He didn’t make me. I insisted. Besides, he’s already doing plenty for me. I couldn’t steal his bed.”
“But his car was okay to steal?” she asks, and I redden in embarrassment.
She knows I stole his car. Is that why she is with me now? To make sure I don’t steal anything in the bathroom? Is she worried about the toilet paper?
“I swear I have never stolen a thing before in my life. I don’t make a habit of stealing cars. I was just … I was desperate,” I admit, my voice small and my head down, looking at my shoes.
“I was just joking.” Sasha’s feet come into view before she pats my arm gently. “I nearly fell off my chair laughing when I heard the news this morning. Seriously, sometimes Zander acts like he is Superman. He is cocky and doesn’t know how to slow down. But really, if he had a superhero name, it would be Super Annoying, or Super Neat Freak. He needed to be reminded that he is only human. Although, I wouldn’t be surprised if he is a robot,” she tells me kindly, helping me feel more at ease and not like some thief needing to be watched.
“Well, I don’t think he’s a robot,” I murmur, beyond weirded out by this conversation.
“Go on in there and change. I’ll give you the lay of the land, as it were.” She points to a stall.
I glance down at the bag I’m holding before deciding I really do need to get changed. Zander’s pants are barely hanging on.
I clang the door closed and find some jeans, which thankfully fit, even if they are a little loose on me. To me, thought, it is much better than if they were tight. Next up, I discover a T-shirt that hangs long, but also shows more cleavage than I would like. The bra and panties are a godsend. There is something comforting and safe about wearing clean clothes that are now mine.
I rip all the tags off, placing them in my pocket so I know how much I owe Zander for them. Then I sit on the toilet seat, lid closed, to get my wits together as I listen to Sasha blather on about Zander and this place.
I am sort of interested, especially when she begins discussing Zander’s dating life.
“So, I started working here a few months ago, but the place has been open for three years. The last receptionist was a bitch and completely hopeless. She constantly put calls through to Zander, even when it was obvious the callers were desperate women he wanted nothing to do with, and she barely wrote down any appointments into his calendar. She turned up late, and then got drunk and came back into the office one night to seduce him. Can you believe that bitch? Anyway”—she sighs, sounding like she is about to reveal something draining—“I stepped in and have been running the show ever since. The boys wouldn’t know what to do without me,” she says cockily, and I can’t tell if she’s serious or joking.
“I’ve known Zander, Declan, and Joey all my life. I was Zander’s neighbor growing up, and the guys were his friends. We all went to the same school. I was three years younger, but I remember them like a bad smell. They took one look at me and decided I was their little sister. Chased away every single guy around. Nosy bastards, too. But I got three years of peace after they graduated. Then we all drifted to different parts, doing our own thing. Home kept us connected, though.”
I slip out of the bathroom stall and into the judgmental eyes of Sasha.
“The shirt isn’t tight enough. Neither are the jeans. How is Zander meant to be eyeing your ass if he can’t even find it? I’ll go shopping again on my break. I’ll need to get some more appropriate outfits now that I understand the situation better.”
“The situation? What do you mean?” And why does she think Zander needs to be eyeing my ass?
“You know how many women Zander has brought into work with him?” she asks, but is quick to answer her own question. “None. You know how many have stayed over at his house since sweet Van moved in with him? None. You know how many people in this entire world could get away with stealing his car? Only you.”
“I don’t think—”
“Red. Red will definitely suit your skin color. I know just the dress you need,” Sasha interrupts.
A worrying feeling begins to settle in my gut.
“I’m not looking to entice Zander. I’m just grateful he is willing to give me some help. I just got out of a … well, the guy I was seeing was …”
“Say no more. I get a bad breakup. I’ve had loads. The last one was awful. I even contemplated killing him, but I don’t think orange will suit me. I find the best thing to get over a breakup is a new distraction. And trust me; Zander will be distracting,” she tells me, grabbing my free hand and dragging me out of the bathroom.
We hit the hallway, and instead of taking me to Zander’s office, she sits me down on her incredibly comfortable chair and turns me so I’m at the side of her desk. She rattles around her top drawer, which is full of makeup, and then proceeds to grab some eyeliner, eye shadow, and a small tube of lip gloss.
“I’ve not used the eyeliner stick yet,” she tells me, tilting my head back and going right ahead and smearing it under my lashes.
“I’m not sure I need—”
“I don’t have anything else that will go with your pale skin, but I’ll pick up some things on my break that will work. I know Zander has given the order that you are to be guarded at all times, and trust me when I say, taking one of the boys shopping is like dragging a two-hundred-and-fifty-pound toddler with you—annoying, slow, and pointless in the end. So, you’ll just have to trust me.” She then dabs some eyeshadow over my eyes, using her thumbs to swish it along. I close my eyes for fear of her poking an eye out.
“So, back to my story. I know these idiots, and this might be a newer company, but Zander has pulled in every favor he has for you. He’s been like a zombie since … well, after his parents … you know, but he’s more awake now than I’ve ever seen him. I’ve been trying to rile him up like I did before for months! The man has been impenetrable.” She rolls her eyes at me. “Moody bastard, you know?”
“You did all that this morning on purpose?”
“Yes. And I’m sorry, honey, because I don’t really know you that well, but I’m going to have to use you,” she admits without a single ounce of concern that she just admitted that out loud to me.
“Use me?”
“Yes. He likes you. No way you touch his car, steal it, drive it, and get away unscathed. He saw something in you, and he has finally engaged with the world. He’s taking a risk, and I want him to keep going in that direction.”
She finishes my other eye, and then dabs her finger into the gloss and swipes it over my lips. I lean back at the unexpected, and not entirely welcomed touch, but she persists and tells me to pucker up.
The gloss is smooth and tastes like cherries. I can’t help smoothing it out.
Sasha smiles happily.
“He doesn’t actually like me like you think. Van likes me.”
She jerks back in shock, standing over me now “Van does?” My answer obviously surprises her.
“Zander told me he hasn’t seen Van so animated since their parents died. He was ready to give me up to the police, but Van talked to me in the car. We sort of connected, I guess. He likes me. So, Zander doesn’t like me; he likes that Van likes me,” I explain, hoping this sinks in for me, too, so I can stop fantasizing about him.
Sasha purses her lips together for a moment, and then I see sadness enter her eyes. “That poor kid. I know Zander has tried his hardest with him. Drives himself to exhaustion worrying about him. But he’s still hurting, and he’s not broody enough to bury it deep like Zander.”
I nod, looking down at my lap. Seeing down my top easily to the bra beneath, I pull my shirt up a little self-consciously. It doesn’t stay up, and the dip remains too low for my liking.
“Come on; I can practically hear Zander pacing around his office with steam bursting out of his ears. He’s not a very patient man.”
I want to tell her he has been patient with me, but I don’t want her to read into those words. Therefore, I follow Sasha in silence as she leads me to the door right at the end of the hallway, opposite to the one she led me down before.
There is a window in place of the interior wall, which gives me a view of the large office inside. Once we step inside, I gaze past the three men and over to the other window that reveals the outside.
The front of the office might be opposite a strip joint, but this side of the building has a park across the road. It is early and a school day, yet there are already several young children running around and playing in the cool morning. Parents and guardians are watching close by.
There is such innocence outside, and even though none of the noise from the laughter or screams from the kids penetrate into the room, I can’t help feeling sick at seeing their happiness and freeness.
Those kids have no idea of the evils that live in this world. The evils that I let into my own life.
I was dating a monster and didn’t even know it.
How can we protect children when evil disguises itself as the good guys?
“Doesn’t like me, my ass!” Sasha hisses in my ear, and I jump at her closeness, as well as her words.
I manage to follow her gaze to the guys. The one from earlier, Declan if I recall right, has narrowed eyes on Sasha. The other man I don’t know is reading over some papers at the desk. However, it is Zander’s gaze that makes me catch my breath.
He is staring at me and not in any sort of wholesome way. His eyes are hot, his gaze stuck on my revealing cleavage.
I would feel creeped out if I didn’t get a thrill from the attention.
I have never worn anything skimpy like this before, never wanting attention on me. Yet, there is something about knowing Zander’s eyes are on me now that gives me pause.
Then he finally comes back to himself and, with a shake of his head, grunts, waving his hand toward an empty chair in front of his desk. He then turns around and ignores me.
I shakily take a seat, and then jump when Declan speaks up.
“He didn’t ask you in here, Sash. You’re a receptionist; go be one.” Declan’s voice sounds hostile, and I instantly feel a dislike toward him.
“Fuck off, Dec. I’m here as Ava’s moral support.”
“Moral support? You only met her ten minutes ago!”
“And we bonded. So, how about you fuck off?” Sasha sits herself down next to me, crossing her arms and giving Declan a glare that is so icy I feel a cold shiver run over me just from being near it.
“You are the most unprofessional bit—”
“Stop! I don’t need to hear this, and our fucking client sure as fuck doesn’t need to see you two acting like children. Either both of you get out, or shut up and listen,” Zander snaps.
Both Sasha and Declan audibly snap their jaws shut, but I can tell neither of them are happy about it.
We all wait in silence in case either of them decides to break it, but when it appears they are both going to behave, the other man in the room speaks up.
“I’m Joey.” He reaches over to me, and I shake his hand, finding it warm and strong.
Joey has Asian features and a warm smile. His build is closer to Declan’s leaner one, but he appears confident and is well-dressed. From his cheeky smile, the quick wink he gives me, and his cool demeanor, I imagine Joey is a bit of a ladies’ man.
“Hi. Ava,” I say, finding this bit of normalcy to be strange.
He keeps ahold of my hand until Zander clears his throat. When Joey finally releases my hand, his grin gets bigger. I wonder if he is acting this way on purpose to push Zander’s buttons.
“I got the boys up-to-date on your situation. Our friend with the police has informed me, if we can get the evidence you have, he will ensure a smooth delivery to the correct people. He wanted in, but until we know what exactly we’re dealing with, I don’t want to involve him just yet.”
“What situation? What exactly is happening here?” Sasha asks.
“None of your fucking business. This is dangerous shit that you are not qualified to be involved in,” Declan snaps. Something tells me their peace is just about to break.
“You have no idea what I am qualified to be involved in!”
“Oh yeah, you good with rape, torture, and murder?” He slaps her with his words. Hell, he slaps me with his words and I do know my situation. However, I haven’t given it much thought, not past torture. Rape and murder?
I shake from the implication and feel more revulsion go through me as I picture Brian enjoying seeing such acts.
How did I not see what was lurking beneath the surface? How could I be so blind?
Sasha gapes at Declan, then her terrified eyes turn to me. She reaches out, taking my hand and squeezing it so hard I’m likely to get a bruise. But the pain centers me, giving me something else to focus on.
“Fuck, Dec. What the hell?” Zander barks, and Declan has the grace to look apologetic.
Zander comes around his desk and crouches down by my chair before easily swinging me around until I am facing him.
“I’m sorry,” Declan rushes to apologize. “I just don’t want Sasha to … She doesn’t need this case in her head,” Declan finally says.
I look up to see he looks remorseful as he stares pleadingly at Sasha.
Suddenly, his asshole comments from earlier make more sense. He wanted her out and was being a bastard to get her to leave to protect her.
“Everyone, give us a minute,” Zander demands.
The strong gruffness of his voice makes me look back down at him as everyone else quickly scoots out without another word.
As soon as the door clicks shut, Zander reaches out and moves both of my hands together, resting them in my lap, his own hands covering mine and enveloping them in warmth.
“I … I don’t know why I’m shocked. I guess I never … Murder? Rape? I never saw that on the video. I mean … I suppose it makes sense.” I swallow bile back down and stop talking.
Shit, this world is more fucked up than I even thought.
“There has been a spike of women being abducted around Chicago and some neighboring cities. Two to three women disappear without a trace every month. Probably more than that since we can’t keep track of everyone. These women have no close families and have jobs that turn the media and the public off from looking too closely at them. No bodies have been found, and since these women are usually high-risk for being runaways, the police continue to treat them with little regard. But one woman turned up on a website. It’s a specialty site that caters to sick fucks. She was tortured, raped, and beheaded on tape.”
I gasp, bile quickly rising again as I struggle to catch my breath.
Zander squeezes my hands a little tighter as I stare into his eyes, using his to center myself, and take a deep breath.
Once I have taken a few breaths and feel a little better, Zander continues.
“Her body was never found. Most people believed it was a snuff video—faked. But someone went to a lot of trouble to hide it once people began to scrutinize the video a little harder. There’s been no trace of it since, and the website that caters to the sick suddenly went dark. Or, as I believe, became harder to find.” He stops and places his hands on either side of my face.
My eyes, which were only seeing him as a blur, are suddenly able to focus on his stern expression. I blink through my tears as he quickly wipes them away. Then I drag in a few more painful breaths.
“I called Dec and Joey first thing this morning, and they did some digging. We think you might have stumbled upon something huge. I think, if I could see those videos on your USB, we might recognize many of those women as the ones missing. I think your ex knows that, as soon as those women are connected, there is no way the police can hide from their disappearances.”
I think back to all the files I saw. There were hundreds of them. Were they all different women? Will there be hundreds of victims uncovered?
“I’m hoping that the videos might not just have the victims, but also the assholes abusing them. We can try to get locations, names, and trace these fuckers. We can help put a stop to this.”
When I nod, he moves his hands away and finally leans back, resting his hands just above my knees.
“Good. I know this isn’t easy to hear, but once we have that USB, we can get the ball rolling. We can end this situation and keep you safe.”
“Okay.” But is there anywhere in the world safe from monsters?
He squeezes my thighs, sending warmth and comfort through me, then stands.
When he nods, the others must see him through the window since they take that as their cue to reenter, minus Sasha. Despite not knowing her well, I miss her presence.
“Sash said she’s taking an early lunch,” Declan mutters as he takes her seat next to me and stretches his long legs out in front of the chair, his thigh almost touching my leg he takes up so much room.
“We need to get our eyes on the USB. Where is it?” Zander asks me.
“I hid it in Mr. Forbes’ house—Brian’s neighbor. I put Whiskers back in the house, and then I had to think about what exactly I needed to do. I knew I had to go to the police, but I wasn’t sure exactly how that was going to go. Since I had two USBs, I left one behind. I fed his fish, changed Whisker’s kitty litter, put treats in her bowl, and put the USB at the bottom of the drawer in the kitchen where he keeps Whisker’s cans of tuna.”
“I need an address,” Joey says, sliding over a piece of paper. “And I need everything you know about Brian Clarke.”
I nod, my hand shaking as I write down Mr. Forbes’ address, then hesitate when it comes to Brian. “What type of things do you need to know about him?”
“Full name, date of birth, names of any friends or family you know of. How long have you known him, and places he likes to hang out. I need his phone number if you can recall it, and anything you noticed that, looking back now, stands out as odd. Plus, I need you to go back over what happened four days ago; see if anything new comes to light.”
I spend the next two hours talking about Brian. It’s not pleasant, it’s not fun, and it forces me to realize I know next to nothing important. I know a handful of his friends and family, but I have no idea where he likes to hang out. I even have to give them a few variations of what I think his cell number is because I can’t check it with my own cell since I left it behind in his car when I escaped. I can confirm some dates when he left or returned from assignments, but not much else about his work.
I never really noticed how little my life intertwined with his. When he went away, we texted occasionally. Then, as soon as he came home, I changed my routine to include quiet nights with him. He never pushed to do anything more. He never asked questions about my day, my online friends, or my life.
Earlier, when Zander asked me why I stayed with him, I realized that I probably never loved Brian, not in the way I’m supposed to love a man I have been dating for so long. I was never in love with him.
Now I realize why Brian stayed with me. He was never in love with me, either. Maybe he didn’t even love me at all. I was just a useful cover for him.
He appeared more normal with a girlfriend. And what a perfect girlfriend I was; never questioning him, never checking on whether he was home more often than I realized, and never pushing to do anything. I was his boring, gullible, blind-to-the-truth girlfriend.
After I give them everything I know, I feel exhausted and disheartened. I want to go home; put on the warm, fluffy onesie I bought online two years ago, and occasionally live in when I am on a Netflix binge; curl up in my bed; and sleep for days. I want to rewind to before I met Brian and never bump into him as we both were picking up a sandwich at the same deli.
“Ava, are you with us?” Zander interrupts my musings.
“Huh?” I focus back on the guys and find them all staring at me.
“There’s just one more thing I need to do,” Zander says, looking uncomfortable.
“I can do it. I usually do this kind of—”
“I’ll do it,” Zander cuts Joey off.
Joey looks surprised by this.
What are they talking about?
“Ava, I need to take some photos of the bruises you have from that bastard.”
“Oh … Okay,” I agree slowly.
“It’s for our records and if, in the future, you wish to press any charges,” he explains, though it didn’t occur to me to ask for a reason.
I nod, watching as Declan and Joey leave.
“Do you need the blinds shut?”
I shake my head, watching nervously as he pulls out his phone to get his camera app.
I lift my sleeve first, showing him the handprint from when Brian dragged me to his car. Then I pull up my new shirt to show him the bruise over my abdomen where I was punched. It’s already turning an off-brown color.
As soon as Zander lowers his phone, I speedily move my shirt back into place, embarrassed to have the injuries and self-conscious, though I know they are not my fault.
Zander looks furious. I feel his anger like it is part of the air, thickening it and suffocating me.
“I promise he won’t get the chance to ever hurt you again,” he promises.
I nod rapidly, touched, yet unsure if it is something he will have much control over.
“I’m going to have Sasha take you home.” He nods to the window where I notice Sasha waiting just outside the door.
“Home? Is it safe for—”
“My home,” he clarifies, and I nod sadly as Sasha enters the room. “You don’t need to be here for now, and my home is safe for you. But you must promise not to leave, and to keep Van entertained if you can. He will catch the bus, so you just need to wait inside for him. He has a key.”
“Okay. When will you be back?” My gaze shifts to Sasha when she gives a quiet snort at my question.
Zander glares at her before he focuses back on me. “Late. There is plenty of food in the cupboards. Van eats almost anything. Make whatever you want.”
I nod numbly at him, still feeling a little shocked and unsure of myself and what I have discovered today.
“I got you some more appropriate things to wear,” Sasha announces, disturbing the quiet that follows Zander’s words. She smiles at me brightly and pulls on my hand to drag me out.
“Straight there, Sasha. No stops. And text me when you arrive,” Zander barks out just as the door closes behind us.
“Yeah, yeah.” Sasha waves Zander off, not glancing at the other guys who are talking quietly to each other farther down the hall.
Within seconds, we are heading toward the front door.
The phone is ringing when we pass her desk, and after one glance at the caller ID, she picks up the call, snaps, “No,” into it, and promptly hangs up.
“Shouldn’t you listen—”
“No,” she cuts me off, and then we are out the door and walking into the cool air.
The ride to Zander’s house is quiet. Though he told Sasha no stops, she pulls into a drive-thru and we get some burgers and fries for lunch. Considering Sasha has been gone so long for her lunchbreak, I’m worried about what she must have been doing.
“So, that shit you’re caught up in sounds pretty messed up,” she finally says.
I should probably be surprised she held her tongue as long as she did, considering what I have seen of her so far.
“You could say that.”
“This got to do with the ex-boyfriend you mentioned?”
“Yeah.” I hope this isn’t the start of her asking me questions about Brian. I have already thought and spoken about him way too much today for my sanity.
“Shit. That definitely overrides anything my exes have done. Although, I did walk in on one guy wearing some of my high heels. And the worst thing was they suited him better than me. I threw him the shoes and told him to get lost.”
“You know, in this day and age, you gotta wonder if wearing women’s shoes is all that bad,” I mutter, knowing it isn’t as bad as what Brian is into.
“You’re probably right. He was actually really nice. He did admit that he liked to wear my underwear and bras, too. I couldn’t bear the thought that he would look better in them than me. My vanity doomed me in that relationship.”
I smile at her, sipping on my shake and wanting her to keep distracting me.
“What other bad breakups did you have?”
“Well …” She taps the wheel for a moment before her eyes light up. “I dated a guy in college who seriously couldn’t last for more than a minute. And I’m dead serious. Once, I timed him. Most times, I just did a little foreplay so he would be done and so I never had to worry about getting started.”
I snort at that awful image.
“The worst part was his package was huge! If he knew what he was doing, I just know it would have been incredible.”
“How long did you stay with him?”
“Not long, just a few weeks. After him, I found myself a creepy stalker. Went on a couple dates with him until he got super weird, so I broke it off. He used to break into my dorm room and masturbate all over my bed and clothes. It was gross.”
I glance down at the remainder of my fries and feel my appetite fade.
“I called Zander up, and he got Dec to sort that dude out right away. He couldn’t look at me again without peeing himself.” Sasha laughs hard then.
“What is the deal with you guys?”
“What guys?” she innocently asks. Perhaps too innocently.
“You and Declan.”
“Nothing is the deal with us. He’s an asshole. Has been since I was nine-years-old.” She shrugs as though that is just the circle of life.
“You guys never …” I trail off then watch as horror settles over her face.
“What? No way. Look, those guys look at me like I’m their baby sister.”
“And you see them all as brothers?” I press.
“Well … I mean, Joey has always been a little too slutty for me. After all these years, he still surprises me by stooping lower and lower. But he’s happy, and I can’t say the women he dates seem unhappy. Either way, he’s definitely not my type romantically. He’s definitely annoying brother material. Then Zander …” She shakes her head a little as she gives me a small smile. “Well, I did used to have a small, tiny, miniscule, only lasted a couple weeks crush on him when I was younger. But he grew up into the Hulk and that is definitely not my thing. I need to have the biggest boobs in the relationship.”
I feel outrage on Zander’s behalf at being spoken about like that. “Zander doesn’t have big—”
“He does. His whole body is just one massive muscle, and well … No, not my thing.”
I shrug nonchalantly, biting my tongue on defending Zander further. I think his body is stunning. If you were wrapped up tight amongst all those muscles, how the hell couldn’t you feel safe? Feel loved? How could they not turn you on? Hell, I would likely surround him with weights just to watch his muscles bulge.
“Hello? Earth to Ava? Did I just lose you to thoughts of Zander’s body?” She smirks at me.
I immediately redden in embarrassment. “No, I was just thinking that you haven’t mentioned Declan yet.”
Her nose twitches like she smells something funny.
“Declan is something else. I am woman enough to admit he’s hot, but he’s also an asshole. He insults me constantly, and I’m pretty sure he does it purposely. He’s so moody that it’s impossible to know what Declan you’re going to get each second of the day.”
“What do they say in kindergarten? If a boy insults you, then he likes you?”
“I hate when people say that. Like we should take insults as something positive. What are we teaching girls and women when our concerns are just shrugged off like that?”
I never thought about it that way. Now it seems a little obvious that it is whacked.
“You’re right. I only met Declan for a couple hours and he seemed nice.” Once Sasha was out of the room. “But he was an asshole to you. I think he was trying to get you away from the topic, but there are definitely better ways to go about it.”
“Speaking of …” She turns her attention to me, and I immediately begin to brace for whatever is about to come. “If you ever want to talk, I’m here for you. I can already tell you’re going to be around for a while, so I think that makes us friends. I say we might as well be best friends. Us against the boys, yeah?”
I’m touched by her words, having never had a best friend. However, her words also scare me.
“I’m going to be here for a while?” With the way the guys were talking, this seems like it might all be over potentially soon.
“Well, yeah. I mean, between you and Zander.” She gives me a look like this is a forgone conclusion.
“There is no me and Zander,” I point out to her for what feels like the tenth time. What is her deal about this?
“Girl, I saw how he looked at you. Hell, I saw how you looked at him!”
“That wasn’t … He was just—”
“He likes you,” she cuts me off. “I’m not saying he’s perfect, but he’s nice and he’ll be good to you. You could do worse.”
She is obviously right. I mean, just look at Brian. There could be no one as bad as him.
“I just found out about Brian a few days ago. I’m not ready to … I can’t just jump into … I need time.”
Sasha reaches across the console and places her hand on mine, squeezing it softly. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to push you. And I’m sure Zander isn’t, either. I don’t think he even realizes how he looks at you. I’m just trying to distract you and doing a horrible job. I’ll let it go.”
I sag a little in my seat at hearing her words. I have so much on my plate that having to worry about Zander and whatever feelings may or may not be growing is too much.
True to her word, Sasha doesn’t bring Zander up in that way again. Then again, after what she has done, she doesn’t need to.
I can’t believe it. I got away with stealing Zander’s car and kidnapping Van. I wonder if I can get away with murdering Sasha?