The thought drifted just at the edge of my consciousness, and each time I tried to grasp it fully and bring it to the forefront of my mind, it eluded me, fading back into the darkened depths of it instead. Maybe it wasn’t a thought at all, so much as a sensation. Not something I thought, but felt.

Because, while I couldn’t pinpoint what the dream had been about as I slowly wakened, a vivid sense of emptiness enveloped me. I didn’t know why I felt it, but I did, and I recognized it immediately. The void of loneliness was something no one who’s experienced it was soon to forget.

I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes. The exhaustion was too great, and the warm comfort underneath the covers was a refuge I found difficult to let go of.

My surroundings came back to me, right around the same time the memories of the night before did as well. A lazy grin spread across my face, and I rolled over, breathing in deeply. The familiar scent of Alex, his cologne mixed with a comforting essence that was purely his, was faint, too faint, and I slid my hand across the mattress, intent on pulling him closer to me.

The chilly air that met my fingertips made my eyes snap open.

The blankets were pulled back where he’d crawled out of bed, but Alex wasn’t there.

Immediately, I knew something was wrong. Any rational person might’ve told themselves that he’d just woken up before I did, that he was out in the living room sipping his coffee, thinking about the moments we’d shared in the darkness, or of what was to come.

But I knew he wasn’t. I knew it with every bone in my body.

Something was wrong. I sat up, quickly enough to give myself a brief moment of dizziness. No sound came from within the apartment. I looked around the room, but saw nothing that seemed out of the ordinary. Our clothes were still strewn across the floor, Alex’s closet door was still partway open, just as it had been last night, the covers were half off the bed, a tangled mess of sheets and blankets…

And a sheet of paper was placed on top of Alex’s pillow. I snatched it up, letting the covers fall into my lap. The fact that I was naked was the furthest thing from my mind, mostly because the three words that stared back at me from the page had my heart in my throat.

Stay here. Please. – Alex

“What are you doing?” I whispered fearfully, letting the page fall onto the bed as I struggled to get my thoughts in order. I threw back the covers and dove from the bed, shuffling into my clothes. I practically stumbled from the bedroom.

“Alex?” I didn’t expect an answer, but I felt I needed to at least confirm he wasn’t there. The bathroom door was open, light off. The bedroom I’d been staying in was unoccupied, and the living room and kitchen were empty. Warily, I even pushed the curtain panels back long enough to check the balcony, but he wasn’t there, either.

His cellphone was nowhere to be found, and a quick check in the pocket of the jeans he’d discarded on the bedroom floor proved his wallet was gone, too.

“Damn it.” I didn’t like being left in the dark, and my mind was still too muddled to decide what I should do next. Really, I had no choice but to either obey him, waiting here idly until he came back, or leave his apartment and go blindly in search of him.

Seeing as I had no cellphone and no way to know where he’d gone, I did the only thing I could think of—I checked the locks on the door to make sure all but the deadbolt were in place, and I had a quick shower.

Other than my gut feeling that something wasn’t right, I had no reason to worry. Right?

I let the hot water rain down on me, all the while coming up with scenarios of where he might’ve gone, or what he might be doing. I hoped in my heart of hearts that he was gone to the precinct, and that he was sitting down in front of Chief Conway right now, explaining everything.

But, if he was, wouldn’t it have made sense to take me with him? I didn’t know, and I wasn’t going to pretend to understand Alex. He had his reasons for everything, right or wrong. If he was with Conway, maybe keeping me out of the limelight immediately was his way of protecting me.

Or, maybe he was just out running errands, doing menial things that needed done regardless of whether or not a convicted killer was waiting to pounce. Maybe he was picking up coffee and muffins or something—a sweet, romantic gesture, like the flowers. Maybe I was getting all worked up for nothing.

I just wished I believed that.

By the time I’d gotten dressed in a simple black t-shirt and jeans and thrown my wet hair up into a messy bun, careful to work around the stitches, my nerves were jangled. The buzz I felt coursing through my veins rivaled any caffeine jolt I’d ever experienced.

“Christ, where are you, Alex?” Great, now I was talking to myself.

The apartment wasn’t big by any means, but without him in it, the area felt like a wide expanse, hollow and echoing. About a half hour had passed since I awoke and realized he was gone, and each passing minute only brought me closer to impending panic. I was still pacing, trying to swallow down the lump in my throat when I caught a glimpse of something on the kitchen floor. A red piece of something. A shard of glass, maybe?

I rounded the kitchen island, and there was no one there to see it, but my cheeks burned brightly at the sight of the broken pieces of the coffee mug that had fallen to the floor the night before. It occurred to me that Alex hadn’t cleaned it up before leaving this morning, and I wondered if he felt the same flash of remembrance I did at the sight of it.

That’s what I would do while I waited for him—clean it up. There had to be a broom and dustpan around here somewhere. Probably in that closet in the entryway.

Just like every other area of Alex’s home, the entryway was tidy. Boots and shoes set side by side neatly by the door on the boot tray. Jackets hung up on the five hooks that lined the wall. The table by the door showed no signs of dust or clutter.

Which made the white card on the gray hallway carpet that much easier to see. It looked so out of place, partially obscured by the table leg. I picked it up, and the flash of silver foil calligraphy reflected against the incandescent light that shone in from the kitchen. With Sympathy, it read.

My forehead wrinkled as I stared at it in confusion, silently turning it over in my hands. The other side of the card said no name—not who it was for, or who it was from. The only words were:

Desert Canyon Park, 8:30 a.m. tomorrow. I’ve thought about your offer. Come alone.

The floor seemed to open up underneath me, and I had to reach out to the wall for support.

The flowers. They’d shown up yesterday. If this was the card that had come with them, and if Alex had lied about them being for me…

With Sympathy.

I’ve thought about your offer.

Come alone.

Loud knocking on the door made me gasp. I pressed my back up against the wall, staring at the door before me. If it was Alex on the other side, he’d have just unlocked it and let himself in.

The knocking came again, three more raps, just as I pulled open the drawer of the table beside me.

“Hailey, it’s me. It’s Trent. Open up.”

Relief flooded through me, and I fumbled to unlock the door. I didn’t say a word as I pulled it open, but whatever he saw in my eyes was enough to narrow his own. “What’s going on?”

He didn’t give me a chance to explain before he pushed me gently back inside the apartment, closing the door behind him.

“It’s…it’s Alex…” Words failed me, and I wasn’t sure how to begin explaining.

Trent was in full uniform, and I watched as he immediately began to take in his surroundings, surveying the apartment like it had a better chance of answering him than I did. “Jesus, what happened in here, Hailey?”

At first, I didn’t understand. It was the card he needed to see, not the apartment. My thoughts were racing too fast to coherently follow his line of questioning, but my brain registered that his gaze was fixed firmly on the kitchen floor.

On the shattered remains of the mug.

“Oh, that. Nothing,” I said too quickly. “It’s from last night. I mean, it fell…I was…we just…” My cheeks burned hotly with each fumbled attempt at explanation, and I saw the moment he realized what I was trying feebly to cover up.

“Oh,” he said. His eyebrow arched high. “Oh.”

“We don’t have time for this,” I snapped, shoving the card out in front of him. “Alex is gone, and I found this.”

He took it from me, staring in confusion at the With Sympathy message embossed on one side. “Yeah, he said he had to…” Trent’s voice drifted off as he turned the card over and read the handwritten note on it.

“That’s from my father.” I stared at him, hard. “Those goddamn flowers were from him.”

Trent was focused on the card, unblinking, as though willing more information to come from between the lines scrawled on it. He was quiet, pensive. Then, finally, “That son of a bitch lied to me.”

I didn’t think it was something I was meant to respond to.

I paced the room, giving Trent a moment to recover, then stole a glance over at the clock. The position of the hands on it made my stomach burn acidly. “Trent,” I said, a thought coming to me. “Why are you here?”

He looked up from the card. “Before I left yesterday, Alex asked me to stop by at eight o’clock to check on you. He said he had an errand to run, but he didn’t want to have to wake you to drag you along with him.”

“This is his errand,” I replied flatly. “He had no intentions of taking me anywhere.”

“What’s the offer, Hailey?”

“Pardon?”

He held up the card. “It says he thought about Alex’s offer. What offer?”

I swallowed. “Him instead of me.” Bile rose in my throat as I admitted the words. “Alex tried to make a deal with him on the phone yesterday morning.”

“Son of a bitch,” Trent hissed. He tossed the card onto the couch. “And Alex stood right here yesterday with those fucking flowers in his hand, knowing damn well he was going to meet Creighton alone this morning. He never said a word.”

I only knew what little Alex had told me of his and Trent’s working relationship, but I it was obvious they trusted each other explicitly. This betrayal of trust wasn’t only uncharacteristic of Alex, it’d hurt Trent on some level I would never understand. “He must have felt he had no other choice,” I offered, apologetic.

“Well, he’s leaving me no other choice, either.” Trent pointed at the clock, his jaw now set tightly. “That card says they’re meeting at eight-thirty. That’s ten minutes from now, Hailey. I’m going to Desert Canyon.”

“I’m going, too.”

“Hailey—”

“Trent, don’t start.”

His mouth twitched, but he gave me a curt nod before heading toward the door. “We don’t know when he left, or if he’s armed.” He didn’t seem to be speaking directly to me, and I wondered if maybe the verbal distraction of his thought process was just as much for his own benefit as mine.

“I can’t tell you when he left,” I admitted. “But it’s Alex. He wouldn’t go unarmed.” I pulled my boots on, thought of something, and turned back to the table by the doorway. I’d pulled the drawer partway open when Trent had knocked on the door—the drawer I’d heard Alex shove his gun into last night. I pulled it out the rest of the way.

It was empty. “He’s definitely armed.”

“Good.” Trent nodded. “Too bad he’s taking a handgun into a fucking warzone. Let’s go.”

* * *

I should’ve been paying attention to the parking lot as we left the apartment building and made our way out into the cruiser. I should’ve been scrutinizing every face I passed, and every car that drove by. I should’ve been paranoid that this was all a setup, and that Alex had been pulled away from me in order to get me alone and vulnerable.

But I wasn’t. All I could think as I sat in the passenger side of that car was that I should’ve picked up on Alex’s cues that the game had changed and that he’d planned to take matters into his own hands.

If we’ve only got one night together…

He’d said it so clearly, and all I’d done was correct him.

For at least one perfect moment, you were mine, he’d also said.

Past tense.

Not only did he have it in his mind that he was taking on Creighton without me, but he also didn’t have any illusions about getting out of it alive, either.

Trent was silent as he drove, and I didn’t push him to talk. But, I watched him carefully, and saw his gaze continuously drop to the radio. A female dispatcher’s voice crackled in and out sporadically from it, addressing officers and enunciating codes and numbers with ease.

He wanted to call for backup, and I didn’t blame him. More armed officers meant more chances of stopping Creighton before this escalated.

If it hadn’t already. Neither of us had said it out loud, unable to voice our worst fear, but it was after eight-thirty. Even based on the time I’d woke up, Alex had been gone well over an hour now.

By himself.

Straight into the clutches of my father.

But Trent didn’t reach for the radio, and he didn’t call anyone else. My best guess was that the last two words on that card were echoing in his mind, too. Come alone.

I saw the sign for Desert Canyon Park, but Trent kept driving. I’d never been out this way, since it was off the beaten path and nowhere near the few stores and shops I frequented. The park itself was over ten miles from the highway, flat and dotted with only short shrubs for the most part, but the view was obstructed by large ruddy rock formations that jutted up in haphazard patterns. I craned my neck, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Not that I thought I would.

“The parking lot is just up here,” Trent advised. He pulled the car into a large open lot. No one was around, and the lot was mostly empty.

Mostly. Alex’s SUV was parked in the corner furthest from the trailhead signs, and Trent pulled the cruiser up beside it.

I knew he wouldn’t be in it, but my stomach fell slightly at the sight of the empty vehicle. “There’s another truck parked over there,” I told Trent, pointing back behind us.

Trent followed my gaze, but he shook his head. “That’s one of the city’s trucks. Probably one of the maintenance guys or something.”

I unbuckled my seatbelt. My hand was on the door handle, but Trent reached an arm out, halting me. “Wait.”

I stopped, pursing my lips into a thin line. If he thought for one moment that I was going to stay in the vehicle like a sitting duck now…

Trent reached under the passenger seat behind my feet, and I heard the snap of a clasp. He pulled out another police-issued handgun, checked the magazine to make sure it was loaded, and handed it to me. “I don’t know what we’re walking into, Hailey, but Alex would never forgive me if I let you walk into it without some way to protect yourself. You know how to use one of those?”

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him my father was a drug dealer and I’d been on the run for almost a year, so what the hell did he think? But Trent was just trying to help, and my snippiness was merely a by-product of the anxiety growing within me, so I nodded. “How do we find him?”

Trent pulled his own gun from the holster on his hip, checking it as well. “There are only two directions to go. That way leads to all the different hiking trails, or the tourist information centre—” He pointed out the windshield. “And the other way loops back around to leave the park the way we came in.”

“It’s the hiking trails, then. It’s got to be.”

“I agree with you,” he said, his gaze already set in that direction. “But beyond that, there are more than five different trails of varying lengths. Not to mention, some of those trails are miles into the park, and Alex’s SUV is here. I’m not sure how we’ll choose which one to take.”

“Whichever one is the most secluded, that’s the one we’ll want,” I surmised.

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

* * *

We stood at the first trailhead we’d come to, straining to hear anything that might indicate what might be happening beyond the rock formations and gnarly shrubbery around us. It was eerily quiet.

“Every trail is separate, and they all loop around to come back to the same spot again,” I said aloud, scanning the glass-plated map that stood at the trail entrance. I ran my finger along the outline of the path we were closest to. “This one’s farthest away from, well, anything,” I said. “We should go this way.” I stared at the map’s description a moment longer, swallowed, then tapped the glass harder. “It’s this one, I know it is.”

Trent side-eyed me. “But, what if there’s—”

“It’s this one, trust me. We’re never going to find him in time if—”

A gunshot echoed loudly, making the glass beneath my fingers vibrate. I whirled around, trying desperately to figure out where it came from. “Oh my God.”

“This way,” Trent commanded, pushing me toward the mouth of the trail to the right of us—the one I’d just pointed at on the damn map. I followed him, struggling to keep up. He was obviously more accustomed to the rugged terrain underfoot than I was. His gun was up in front of him.

Please let Alex be the one that fired that shot, I chanted over and over in my head.

Trent stopped, and in my haste, I almost ran right into him. He held an arm out, steadying me, then held a finger to his lips.

Sure enough, I heard it, too. The faintest voices, coming somewhere from the left. And seeing as the trail veered sharply to the right up ahead, the voices belonged to people who weren’t here to hike.

Trent leaned into me, his mouth pressed against my ear. “Get that gun out, Hailey,” he whispered.

The voices floated on the air again, this time louder. And angrier. But I couldn’t decipher what they were saying.

“You all right?” he asked. When I nodded silently, he pointed. “I’m going to go over that way a bit, to get around this rock. You stay here. I’ll come back for you. I’ll only be a second.” He stepped away, then, as an afterthought, added, “He’ll be okay.”

Trent disappeared around the other side of the massive rock that shielded us. I pulled the gun out of the waistband of my jeans. My heart was pounding wildly, but it wasn’t from fear for myself. I feared for Alex in a way I’d never known.

Which was probably why my feet started moving, one in front of the other. Keeping my back to the wall of rock behind me, I held the gun out, just as I’d seen Trent do. I crept in the opposite direction he’d gone, staying low to the ground and hidden by the spindly weeds and rocks the best I could. From my vantage point at the corner of the rock formation, I could see the open expanse of desert on the other side of it.

I could also see Alex.

A small gasp escaped my lips at the sight of him on the other side of the barren clearing in front of me, gun clutched in one hand, and the palm of his other hand pressed against his shoulder. Blood seeped between his fingers, and his face was contorted into a mix of anguish and pain.

And hatred. Even from here, I could see it burning in his eyes.

“You said you’d let her go!” Alex hollered, his gaze set somewhere to my right. The rocks no longer obstructed the clarity of his words—or the pain in them. It did, however, still block my view of whoever had shot Alex. My back still pressed against the reddish-colored rock, crouched low, I leaned out farther in hopes of seeing my target.

“I said no such thing.”

The voice was unmistakably my father, and I ducked back behind the rock before I saw him, shaking my head. I hated that the mere sound of his jeering tone could evoke such fear in me.

“What I said was that I’ve thought about your offer,” he continued. “And I decline your proposed deal.”

A shot went off so quickly that I didn’t even realize Alex had been the one to fire it until after the fact. He dove back behind the rock he was using as a shield, just as another shot rang out, shattering the edge of it into fragments, inches from where he’d been leaning only moments before.

My hand went up to my mouth, stifling the scream I wanted to cry out.

I stared out across the clearing, willing him to look at me, needing for him to know I was there, and that I never would have let him come here alone if I’d known. But Alex’s head was leaned back against the rock behind me, his eyes squeezed shut, his chest heaving with what must be excruciating pain in his shoulder.

“Come on out, Alexander!” My father yelled. “This is only going to end one way.”

“Yeah, with me putting a fucking bullet in your head.” I wasn’t sure my father heard Alex’s retort, and I wasn’t sure he was meant to. He leaned out again with a speed that didn’t match the pain he’d been in only moments before, letting two more shots off in quick succession before diving back behind the rock.

I leaned out to see if he’d hit his mark, surprised that no shots had been fired back in retaliation.

Creighton Banks was huddled behind a similar boulder. Of course, he had two other men with him—he never could fight fair. But, one of those cronies was laid out on the ground now, his gun still tangled loosely in his fingers, unmoving.

One down, two to go.

I glanced over quickly and saw Alex prepare to take another shot. I couldn’t hear it from where I was crouched, but his lips curled back, grimacing as a jolt of white hot pain stabbed through him, and he leaned back once again, unable to raise the gun. Even with the adrenaline coursing through his veins, he couldn’t fight the fact that he was injured.

My father’s accomplice must have seen a flash of movement near the rock when Alex had moved to shoot, and another series of shots rang out in his direction.

I stood up, my back still against the rock, and made sure the safety was off. My father was obstructed from Alex’s view.

But not from mine.

I leaned out, planted my feet, locked my arms, and fired two shots at him, watching as the rock shattered into pieces near him. “Damn it!” I dove back behind the rock, unable to catch my breath.

Did I hit him? Had my father seen me?

I stole a glance back across the clearing in Alex’s direction. His eyes were locked on me, wide and petrified. His stance matched mine, crouched against the boulder, gun clutched in both hands, chest heaving like he couldn’t get enough air into his lungs.

“You didn’t come alone, I see.” Creighton’s voice echoed in the remaining silence. I didn’t look, but he didn’t sound injured, and the realization gutted me. I’d given up my vantage point for nothing.

Alex looked at me, shaking his head violently. Don’t say a word, Hailey, he seemed to say. Don’t even move.

But I couldn’t let Alex fight this for me. I couldn’t sit here, huddled in the corner like a victim, letting my father put ragged holes in Alex until the last ounce of his life bled from him.

“This is between you and I!” I hollered. “Let him go! He’s innocent, and you know—”

Pain seared at the top of my skull as my head was ripped backward and slammed into the rock face hard enough to make my vision blur. I reached up, fighting against my attacker, but his grip on my hair was tight and he pulled back again, knocking me off balance. I couldn’t get a clear shot to fire the gun, and by the time I’d scrambled into some semblance of a steady position on my knees, the bastard cuffed me in the side of the head with the butt of his gun, and I dropped mine with the impact.

It all happened in a matter of seconds, but it may as well have been hours the way it played out in slow motion. The way my father’s henchman snuck up on me, the way he unarmed me and took away any threat I possessed…

And the way both he and Alex saw each other at the same time, raising their guns. The shots echoed loudly, the sounds becoming one, but my attacker’s shot was fired a split second before Alex’s, and the scream I’d been holding in erupted from my throat as the shot hit him, throwing his aim off. His bullet fired astray, and Alex fell back, the dust rising up around him as his body hit the ground.

“No!” I cried out. “Alex!”

He didn’t move for the brief second I had to look at him before the man behind me lowered his gun and dragged me out from behind the rock. Searing pain scorched through my head. I struggled to get my feet under me, trying to keep up as he dragged me into the clearing, a feeble attempt to save my hair from being ripped from my scalp.

“Alex,” I choked out. “Jesus, Alex…”

I didn’t know when I started crying, but tears were hot and flowing freely down my cheeks when the man tossed me forward onto the ground.

Not one of them were for me.

Now, I cried for Alex, and Alex alone. For the man who’d come here and taken on the devil himself, purely for the sake of keeping me safe.

Hands on the ground before me, I let my head hang in surrender. If this man was going to kill me here, now, he could do it. Because a part of me had already died the moment Alex had fallen.

I heard footsteps crunch across the clearing, dried twigs and rock fragments snapping underfoot. I lifted my head in the direction of the sound, but a heavy foot stomped down between my shoulder blades, shoving me forward into the dirt again.

“Under any other circumstances, Hailey, I’d be proud of the elusiveness you’ve shown these last months.” The voice was hard and cold, belonging to Creighton Banks, the drug dealer. This man wasn’t a father, and there was nothing akin to the sound of paternal affection in his tone.

“You killed him,” I sobbed hoarsely, tasting the grit of dirt in my mouth. “Just like you killed Mama.”

I raised my head again, intent on looking him in the eye, only to catch the back of his hand as he hit me squarely in the jaw, knocking me onto my side. I curled up instinctively, scurrying up onto my knees again. When I raised my head this time, pushing my hair out of the way, Creighton stood above me, a silver handgun pointed at my head.

My handgun. The one that’d been inside my purse that had been stolen.

“You’re a stupid, stupid girl.” He shook his head, like it was the biggest shame in the world. “That cop’s blood is on your hands, Hailey.”

Bile rose in my throat. Because he was right. Because I could have protected Alex long before this moment came to pass. I could’ve left town, or ran from him, just as I’d run from this man for so long.

But, I hadn’t. Instead, I’d run to him, instead of away. And my choice cost him his life.

“Finish me,” I hissed at him. “Do it. Do it!” I screamed at him with the force of everything I had left in me. “You’ve taken away everyone that ever mattered to me now. Is that what you wanted to achieve? Well done, father. Well fucking done.”

It earned me another smack across the face, whipping my head violently to the left, but the defiance somehow seemed worth it.

“You’re a monster!” I continued, pointing in the direction of the rock that shadowed Alex’s body from the morning sun. “He was a good man. Something you’ll never know anything about. And if good men like him can’t be in this world anymore, because of monsters like you, then kill me. Right now. Because I don’t want to be here, either.”

“How fucking noble,” Creighton spat, repositioning his hold on the gun in front of me. “Too bad you still haven’t figured out that you aren’t calling the shots in this game.”

The sound was distant, but I picked up on it immediately.

Sirens.

“Funny, by the sound of it, I don’t think you are, either.” I tasted blood in my mouth as I watched him lock his arm, preparing to pull the trigger, but that didn’t stop me from smiling up at him. “It’s over,” I whispered.

The shot rang out, and I flinched, squeezing my eyes shut.

For a moment, I didn’t understand how it could be true, that I really hadn’t felt a thing, having been killed instantly.

Then, I heard the man beside me crumple to the ground with a dull thud.

My eyes snapped open, and I stared at my father’s accomplice, his body sprawled out and unmoving. A pool of blood had already started to form beneath his chest, where he laid on his side, eyes partway open.

I looked up, confused, and was struck by how much my father and I’s expressions were alike. He craned his neck, first left then right, then brought his gaze back around to focus on me. His wide, steely eyes were locked on mine when the next shot rang out, leaving a blackened hole in his forehead.

Creighton Banks’ eyes were already vacant as his body wavered slightly, then fell to the ground.