Eighteen Years Ago…

On the last day of July, I met Stella at the covered bridge. It was midday, and the sun was high in the sky. She wore cute little cutoff denim shorts, and when she saw me, a smile brightened her face. Her smile gave a lightness to my heart that only existed when we were together. We’d spent every minute of every day exploring the countryside over the past few months. My addiction was so bad that I woke up an hour earlier every morning in anticipation of moments like this one. I tried not to think about leaving her for college in the fall. She still had a year of high school to complete.

“Hey. How was the contest?” I leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek. At my urging, she’d entered a photograph in the county fair contest. Stan had filled out the paperwork, paid the entry fee, and helped her choose a picture for submission.

“Grand prize.” Her smile widened. The bright sun sparkled in the depths of her eyes. Thoughts of those eyes kept me awake at night. “I’ve never won anything before.”

“I knew you’d win. You’re amazing.” With the pad of my thumb, I traced the line of her jaw.

She rolled her eyes but kept smiling. “Oh, please.”

“Don’t be modest. Someday, you’re going to do great things.”

“I don’t know about that.” The happiness faded from her face. “I want to get a degree in journalism, but I’ll never be able to afford tuition.”

I sat beside her and threaded her fingers through mine. Her hands were small, the bones fragile and delicate. “If you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way. I’ll help you. Did you talk to the guidance counselor?”

She snorted. “Yeah. I did. He said I shouldn’t set my sights so high, that I people like me don’t get scholarships.”

My temper began to simmer. “You’re kidding me. He did not say that.”

“Um, yes, he did. He also said there’s no shame in working minimum wage jobs and ‘my kind’ hold a valuable place in society.” She drew air quotes as she spoke.

“That’s bullshit.” This girl had been dealt so many rotten blows by fate. Where did this guy get off by ruining her dreams? “Maybe you can get accepted into my college, and you can stay with me.” The grip of her fingers loosened before sliding entirely from my grasp. She tucked her hair behind her ears and stared across the football field. I shifted to capture her attention. “What’s wrong?”

“You know, I’m probably not going to be around much longer.” Her statement stabbed fear into my heart. “We’ve never been with any family more than a few months, and we’ve been here eight months already. Marianne hasn’t been feeling well, and I know we’re a burden. I’ve been trying to help out around the house, but I can tell she’s exhausted.” Her next words twisted my insides into a painful knot. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to get too attached to each other.”

“Are you getting attached to me?” With a finger beneath her chin, I tilted her face up to mine. She blinked and tried to look away, but I held her in place. “Answer me, Stell.”

“Yes.” Her admission meant more to me than a touchdown after a tied score.

“Don’t sound so thrilled about it.” I tried to be flippant but sounded like an arrogant ass instead. The amount of pain in her voice stirred my insecurities. She was too good for me.

“The thought of never seeing you again hurts,” she admitted. “But I think we both need to be prepared for when it happens.”

The wind shifted, blowing a strand of her ebony hair over her smooth forehead. I brushed the lock away from her eyes. She blinked up at me, trusting and fearful, and something broke inside me. I swallowed and looked away, desperate to evade my feelings. Love had no place in my future. Football and college were my ticket out of Corbett and the clutches of my family, but I couldn’t deny my need to have her any more than I could deny the need for oxygen in my lungs.

“There has to be a way, Stella. I’ll get a job—two jobs—we can make it work.” Desperation cracked my voice.

“I don’t know.” Her whispered reply held the threat of tears.

I’d been spending more and more time at the Hudgens’ house, helping Stan with chores, to be around Stella. At night, she sneaked out of the house and met me at the river. We’d been fooling around quite a bit with each encounter getting more and more intense. Sooner or later, we were going to go all the way. Although the hormonal teenage guy inside me was ecstatic, a deeper part of me knew that once we did, I’d be lost to her forever. Unlike Chris, who screwed any girl with a heartbeat, I’d only slept with one girl—Suzie—because I thought we were in love. After spending time with Stella, I recognized the difference between my feelings for her and my former girlfriend. Every minute away from Stella felt like an eternity. I wanted to be a better person for her.

She dropped to one knee to tie the straggling laces of her left boot. When her head bowed, the movement revealed a series of parallel bruises along the slender column of her neck. Catching the direction of my gaze, she quickly brushed her hair over her shoulder but not before I saw the round, purple fingerprints beneath the collar of her jacket.

“Who did this?” I grabbed her by the elbow and hauled her to her feet. “Was it Stan?”

“What? No. Don’t be silly.” Her stubborn gaze turned away. “It’s nothing.”

“It looks like somebody tried to strangle you.” She yanked her elbow from my grasp and started walking toward the bridge where a group of our classmates had congregated. They turned to watch the spectacle of our argument. Up until this point, we’d been secretive about our relationship, only because it was private and special. I was so filled with rage that I didn’t care who saw or heard us. I caught up to her and yanked her around to face me. “I want to know who did this to you.”

“Keep your voice down. People are staring.”

“I don’t give a fuck who’s watching.” The thought that someone could hurt her made my brain short-circuit.

“It was Chris, alright?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I shoved my hands through my hair, overcome with frustration and fury. “What happened?”

“I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d react like this.” She sighed and shook her head. “I found Lanie with him again. They were…making out in the back of his car, and I don’t know what else.” A shudder ran down her body. The color drained from her already pale skin. “We argued. I told him I’d go to the police if he ever touched her again.”

As if on cue, Chris and his sleazy buddies pushed through the kids. My vision turned red. I’d put up with his shit for the past eighteen years, but he’d gone too far this time.

Chris caught my gaze and smirked. “What’s your problem?”

“You. You’re my problem.” I grabbed Stella and opened the collar of her shirt to expose the bruises. “Look what you did to her. What’s wrong with you?”

“She stuck her nose where it doesn’t belong. The bitch deserved it if you ask me.” Even though he was ten months older, I had a good three inches in height and twenty pounds of muscle over him. I shoved him backward until he stumbled. He rubbed his shoulder. “Easy, bro.”

“If you ever touch her again, I will fucking kill you,” I said and meant it.