Chapter 1

“YOU’RE REALLY leaving,” Blaze said as he sat down in front of Thomas’s desk with a sigh. “Why in the hell would you want to do that? This is the land of guys, fun, and a million things to do, all of which will either get you laid or are on the path to getting you laid, and you’re going to run back to… where is it exactly you’re going?” He leaned forward a little just so Thomas could get a good look at the disbelief in his eyes. “Butt-fuck Egypt?”

Thomas shook his head slowly. “Colorado Springs, and I’m going back home to spend some time with my parents.” He growled a little. “Don’t you work for me? And since I know you do, why doesn’t that insulate me from your whining and bitchiness?” Thomas groused, trying his best to seem upset. He knew it hadn’t worked when Blaze simply rolled his eyes.

“Because I’m your best friend, have been since we were in Alpha Chi together, and yeah, you own the company, but you know it wouldn’t be anywhere without my sparking personality to help smooth the way for all those deals you’ve made over the years.” Blaze smirked, and Thomas glared at him. “You remember in college we both vowed we were going to make a huge splash in the world, a shitpile of money, and then we were never going to go back to those awful towns where we grew up?” He gave an exaggerated shiver.

Thomas shook his head. “I’m getting tired, Blaze. I built this firm to the point where it has more employees than the high school I attended, and all of them are very smart and know their jobs. Otherwise you and I would never have hired them. I’m only moving back to Colorado Springs, not to the moon, and I’m still going to run the company. I’m just going to do it from a place that’s quieter and less… easy.”

“Easy! You think New York is easy?” Blaze’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, it is. Everything is here for the taking,” Thomas countered. “It’s too damned easy. There are guys—and girls, if that’s your thing—around every single corner. If one won’t suffice, just choose another one, or two, maybe three. If you have money, everything seems like it’s for sale. And I’m tired of it. Okay? I want something slower.” He swallowed and half closed his eyes. “I swear I haven’t slept more than a few hours a day in the last eighteen years.”

“So you’re giving it up,” Blaze pressed. “Just like that?”

“My parents are getting older. They haven’t said anything, but I know they’re going to need help soon. I want to spend some time with them and maybe build a life.”

Blaze nodded. “I know what this is. You’re still hurting from when Angus left, and you want to give yourself a change of pace. You know, the best way to get over a man is to find another one, and there are plenty of hot guys in New York who would fall all over themselves for the chance to try to win your heart.”

Thomas frowned. Blaze didn’t get it. “That’s the problem. They’re all interested, but I’m not. And for the record, I left Angus. There was nothing between us, and all he did was complain that I worked too much. Everyone I’ve ever dated has said the same thing: I spent too much time working and not enough time with them.”

The desk phone buzzed, and Blaze stood. “That would be Marjorie, and I’m out of here before she sees me sitting with you and decides it would be a good time to tell me all the things I’m doing wrong in my life. Why can’t that woman spend her time talking you out of this harebrained idea rather than torturing me?” Blaze tried to look innocent, but Thomas knew he and Marjorie got a perverse thrill out of annoying each other as much as possible.

Thomas waved Blaze off and answered the call.

“Your two o’clock meeting is waiting outside, and your two thirty called and is running a few minutes late. That means your three o’clock is going to be tight and—”

“We’ll make it work. We always do.” Thomas checked the clock as Blaze hightailed it out of the office. The only good thing about this appointment was that it got him out of talking more with Blaze about him moving closer to his family. Thomas knew that was going to be a sore subject for Blaze, whose parents had never accepted him for who he was. They still harbored delusions that he’d get over this gay phase of his life, settle down, and produce grandchildren for them. At least Thomas’s parents were supportive… even if they drove him a little around the bend.

Thomas stood as his appointment came in, and he motioned toward the conference table. He listened to the proposal, which he really had no interest in, and by the end, he still saw no viable financial benefit for anyone.

He hoped the rest of the afternoon was going to be more productive.

Thankfully it was, and he got plenty done before emerging from his office after seven. Marjorie still sat at her desk, like a gatekeeper. “You don’t need to stay this late. Go home and have some fun.”

She scoffed, looking at him askance. “This coming from the man who gets here before everyone else and leaves later than most everyone. What are you going to do when you move and you don’t have an office to sit in until well into the evening?” She smiled to show him she was only partially kidding.

“I don’t know. Are you sure you won’t come with me?” He’d already asked her four times, but was willing to try again.

“Yes. I’m sure. I’ll hold things down for you here, and once you get to Colorado Springs, I’ll help you find an assistant who can work with you there.”

Meaning someone who wasn’t going to drive Marjorie crazy. She liked things a certain way, and he loved that she was the most organized and efficient person he’d ever met. Marjorie always thought steps ahead so she could smooth the way and help keep him as efficient as possible. Thomas was going to miss her.

“Everything will be fine, and I’ll even stop picking on Blaze… a little.”

God, Thomas loved that twinkle in her eyes.

“And once you’re gone, I promise to leave the office at five every once in a while.”

Thomas chuckled. “Thank you.” Leaving her was the one thing that worried him. He depended on her to keep his life organized and together so he could concentrate on the really important things. “Good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Tomorrow is Saturday, and the movers are coming to start packing your things. I’ll send a message to your phone so you don’t forget.” She smiled and waved as Thomas left the office.

He made it to the elevator before yawning, and leaned against the side of the elevator car for the ride down to the underground parking garage. He told his driver to stop at the bodega on the way home so he could get something to eat. He grabbed something to go and got back into the car for the ride to his apartment.

Thomas went inside and ate his dinner in front of the television, with some papers for company. For years he’d spent his time and energy building Stepford Management into one of the top real estate management and consulting firms in the country. Deal after deal, development after development—he and his teams put them together, brought them to fruition, and made a lot of money doing it. Thomas had more than he could spend now, and he was tired.

He used to look forward to going into the office. When he was younger, deals got him excited and kept him up at night. He used to dream of building towers and filling them with tenants, changing the face of the New York skyline. And he’d done all that. Thomas had worked with some of the biggest and most important people in the city of New York over the years, and he’d loved it. But now the thrill wasn’t there anymore. It was just work, and he was self-aware enough to know he needed a change of pace. Something different, slower. He needed a chance to do something other than work.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he hauled it out. There was a message from his mother telling him that she seen to it that everything met his requirements and that everything was okay and looked good.

Thanks, Mom, he replied. His mother had taken to texting like a duck to water. She’d always hated talking on the phone, and now she sent messages all the time.

When are you leaving New York?

They’re packing things tomorrow. I will fly out Tuesday once I have a few things settled in the office.

Good. The screen indicated that she was still composing a message, so he waited. Is Marjorie going to come with you?

No. She’s going to stay in New York and organize things here. He set his papers aside and jumped when his phone rang. He certainly hadn’t expected his mother to call. “What’s up?” he asked.

“Talking might be easier,” his mother said with a slight huff. “Are you going to need an assistant here? Because I’m not going to organize your life for you. That’s too much work for an old lady like me.”

“You’re not old. Marjorie’s handling finding an assistant for me.” He was so danged tired and not into having this conversation. Marjorie would find him someone he could work well with. It wasn’t like he needed someone to work as many hours as she did. He’d still have her to maintain his master calendar and handle the bulk of his needs. Having someone local was a good idea, though.

“Thelma Wilson’s grandson just graduated from college and is looking for a job. I told her you were coming and would probably need someone, so I said I’d pass it along.”

Great. Just what he needed. His mother trying to find his assistant for him. Thomas was about to tell her that Marjorie would find who he needed, but he wasn’t in the mood to argue with his mother. It would get him nowhere and then his mother would be upset. “Have him send his résumé and things to HR in New York. They’re handling everything for me.” There, that was pretty painless.

“Okay. I’ll pass that on to Thelma. Can you tell me the email address he should use?” she asked, and Thomas relayed it. “You travel safe, and call your father and me when you get in.” He heard the excitement in her voice. Thomas hadn’t been home as much as he probably should have been in the last few years. She and his dad had been delighted when he’d told them he was moving home.

“I will, Mom. You and Dad take it easy, and I’ll see you on Wednesday.” He got in late on Tuesday and didn’t want to disturb them. “Maybe we can have dinner if you and Dad are free.” It was time he slowed down and took the chance to try to build a life that didn’t revolve around work.

“There are some nice young men in town, who like other men, and….”

He groaned. Before he came out to his parents, his mother had done her best to fix him up with every eligible girl she knew. Back then he’d made himself busy so he wouldn’t have to go on those dates. “Mom, I’m coming home to spend some time with you and Dad. I’m still going to be busy.” And the last thing he wanted was his mother picking out men for him. Yes, he was pleased that his parents accepted him for who he was, but his mom playing gay matchmaker was a little over the line. “If I want to date, I will. I’m not some troll who needs his mom to get him dates.”

“You be nice,” she scolded.

“Then you put away your matchmaking skills and let my love life be.” He sighed, because no matter how many times he scolded her, his mother was his mother and was going to do exactly what she liked. “Mess in Collin’s love life. He’s the straight one, and he’s single again.” For, like, the third time. She could matchmake with him all she wanted. Lord knew he needed it. “Or better yet, leave us both to figure out our own love lives.”

His mom was quiet, and Thomas knew instantly that something was up. “I introduced him to Karla,” she confessed sheepishly.

“You did that!” he gasped.

“He married her!” Mom protested. “All I did was introduce them. I had no idea she’d turn out to be such a harpy. She was nice when I met her and invited her to dinner.”

He rolled his eyes even though she couldn’t see it. “That only goes to show that you make a lousy matchmaker. You’re too danged nice and you see the good in everyone. I knew that woman was the spawn of Satan two seconds after I met her, but by then she already had that damn ring on her finger and her claws so deep into Collin, it was sickening. All she ever wanted was Collin’s money… or what she thought she could extract from me through Collin.”

It damn near ruined his relationship with his brother. Karla demanded things—jewelry, a new home—and Collin would try to get them for her. Then, when he couldn’t afford it, Collin came to Thomas for money, hat in hand, feeling like a loser. Eventually Thomas stopped the handouts. Collin didn’t speak to him for months… until Karla finally left and Collin was out from under her influence. Then and only then did the old Collin start to return.

“I am not a lousy matchmaker. I only make introductions. All I did was invite her to dinner one night. Your brother did the rest.” She was getting huffy.

“Still, you have to take some responsibility.” If he could get his mother to back off, then he would be in good shape. “Let Collin and me be. We can find partners just fine on our own.”

“Fine.” She huffed, and Thomas knew she wasn’t giving up, only doing a strategic retreat. His matchmaking mother would be back soon enough. “Then should I uninvite the people I have coming over for dinner tonight?”

“Mom. Collin just got divorced three months ago. Let him breathe.” For Pete’s sake, she moved fast.

“If he doesn’t get married to a nice girl soon, they’re going to be too old to have kids and I’m never going to be a grandmother.” Now the sniffles began, which Thomas knew was his total weakness as far as she was concerned.

“Fine. I’m staying out of this. But if Collin marries another harpy like Karla, I’m holding you responsible.” He chuckled when his mother sputtered on the other end of the line. “I’m going to go. You and Dad have a good night.” He was about to hang up but paused. “And to say it again, don’t you try to fix me up with anyone.”

He ended the call, wondering if his mother would listen at all or not. Either way, he was not going to fall for anyone his mother tried to set him up with. He loved her to death, but the woman had bad taste in potential daughters-in-law. Thomas could only imagine the kind of men she’d try to pick out for him. Hell, he’d end up married to his father. The thought made him shudder as he put his phone on the coffee table.

Thomas returned his attention to the papers he’d brought home with him, but quickly realized he was getting nothing done. Setting those things aside, he decided to get some of his personal things packed for the move. Most of the things, he didn’t really care about and the movers could take care of. But there were things he didn’t want strangers pawing through, so he pulled the suitcases out from under the bed, laid them out, and began filling them with underwear and the clothes he was going to want to take with him on the plane.

He paused at a knock at the door and went to open it.

Blaze breezed into the apartment, looking around. “For God’s sake, let me guess—you’re packing.” He put his hands on his hips, glaring at Thomas. “It’s a Friday night, the last one you’re going to spend in New York for a while.” Blaze peered into the bedroom and then back at him. “I knew I had to come save you from yourself. Go back in there and put on some decent clothes. You and I are going out, and we’re going to find you some young, hot guy. You might as well leave town with a bang.”

“Your puns are awful,” Thomas said. “I’m tired, and I have a big day tomorrow.”

Blaze shook his head. “You’re going to stand around, watching the movers pack, making sure they don’t put a finger through the de Kooning or the Pollock. Other than that, you’ll sit on the sofa working. So who cares?” He waited for Thomas’s answer, and when he didn’t have a good one, Thomas went into the bedroom to change.

“Why are you my friend again?” Thomas asked as he looked through his closet.

“That’s easy. Because I’m the only person who won’t let you sit around and wallow in your own crapulence on a Friday night.” Blaze’s voice drifted in from the other room. “Put on something hot, and make sure the pants are tight enough to show off your ass.”

“Jesus, Blaze. I’m not twenty years old anymore. I don’t need to do all that crap.” Thomas grabbed a pair of comfortable jeans and tossed them on the bed, then went looking for a silk shirt he liked.

“We’re damn near forty. We need to do all that crap and more. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Neither of us is fat, but we’re spreading nonetheless. Our asses are wider and our legs thicker. We can’t wear those skinny jeans we used to pour ourselves into when we were young. So now we have to show off the goods and remind the boys that with a little time comes a whole lot of experience.”

Blaze always looked good, and Thomas had never noticed any spreading where his friend was concerned.

Thomas finished dressing and came out. “How is this, your highness?” He smirked.

“Good God. We’re going out for the evening, to a club, not to a cotillion.” Blaze brushed past him and went right to Thomas’s closet. “Put this on, and those jeans look like you got them at Old Farts R Us.” He dug through and tossed a pair of black jeans on the bed. “Put those on. Black is slimming.”

“But that shirt is too small.”

“Perfect. It should be tight to show off your arms.” Blaze stepped out of the room, and Thomas wondered if this was worth it.

He changed clothes again. The jeans hugged his hips and waist so tightly that they were a second skin, and the shirt stretched over his chest. When he looked in the full-length mirror, he had to admit that he looked pretty good.

“All right. Let’s go,” Thomas said, emerging from the bedroom. Blaze nodded and turned toward the door. Thomas got his wallet and keys, followed Blaze out, and locked the apartment door. After taking the elevator down to the first floor, they were greeted by the doorman and then stepped out into the Upper West Side night air.

“I can’t believe you’re giving all this up,” Blaze said as he hailed a cab. “What kind of place are you going to have in Colorado Springs?”

Thomas shrugged. “I don’t know yet. I haven’t bought a house. I figured I’d rent a place for a while and then move when I found somewhere I really liked.” He wasn’t dumb enough to buy anything sight unseen.

“You’re moving pretty quickly with this whole thing.” Blaze looked up and down the street, and they walked the block or so toward Fifth.

“Collin called a few weeks ago, and he said Mom and Dad were having a tougher time of it. They would never say anything, but mom’s rheumatism is making it harder for her to get around, and Dad is having to do more and more for her. Collin helps, but he works strange hours at the restaurant, and, well….” Thomas shrugged. “I’m nearly forty and I’m tired.” He stepped around a pile of dog leavings, wishing the offending owner had been given a huge ticket. “I’ve been working night and day to get this business started and then to make it successful. Now I want the chance to spend some time with my mom and dad before it’s too late.”

Blaze reached the corner, whistling shrilly for a cab. “The last thing I would ever think of is moving home to see my parents. God, I’d rather lose a leg than spend an hour back in Georgia with my father. The man is a fanatic. He turned his back on me as soon as he thought I might be gay.” When a cab pulled to the curb, Blaze pulled open the back door to climb in, and Thomas got in as well. He should have called his limousine service and arranged a ride. That was, if Blaze had given him any kind of notice at all, like a normal person.

“The Brick,” Blaze told the driver, who nodded, taking off.

“You really want to go there?” That gay club had been around for decades.

“It’s been completely remodeled and is trendy again. Guys are done with that techno shit and want some good, clean… well, maybe more like hot and dirty action. This is the place where all the hot guys are right now.” And Blaze would know. His gift was to keep up with what was gay, hot, and where his money could get him anything he wanted.

Thomas turned to Blaze. “Have you ever given any thought to settling down?”

Blaze’s eyes burned in the semidarkness and flashing lights as the blocks passed. “Yeah, I did the whole relationship thing. Remember Mathias? He was….” Blaze seemed at a loss for words. “You know how well that all worked out.” He shook his head. “I’m way better off without all those awful entanglements that only leave you wishing to hell that you hadn’t let him in your heart… or your apartment.” Blaze swore under his breath. “The bastard stole me blind, and I needed a course of penicillin to fully eradicate him. So, no, I haven’t thought about settling down any time soon. I’ll cruise the boys until I’m too ugly and old. And then just hire them.”

Thomas knew the whole story about Mathias, but he hadn’t fully realized how deeply the little shit had hurt Blaze. Which pissed Thomas off, because he should have been paying closer attention. He thought about trying to find Mathias just so he could teach the stupid piece of crap a lesson about messing with people. “You can’t let one asshole dictate your outlook like that.”

They pulled into Midtown, and Blaze turned toward the window. “Bullshit. I’ve been out with other guys, and things always end the same damn way.” He didn’t even look at Thomas as he spoke, but Thomas could hear the pain in his voice. “I have good friends that I can trust, and I go to clubs or bars when I want someone to warm my bed for a night.” He finally shifted to look at Thomas again. “I always thought you felt the same way. I mean, you never dated anyone, not seriously.”

“I never dated anyone… well, with the exception of Angus.” Thomas rolled his eyes. The few times he had gone out with a guy more than once, something at work would come up and he’d end up cutting the date short or canceling. The guys got the message pretty quickly that his job came first and they were going to be a distant second. There were never any third dates—except for Angus, and that had turned into a total disaster… for both of them. “Not really.”

“See, I figured you got hurt by some shithead and never told me.”

“Nope. Just never had time.” Thomas turned, looking out the window as the neighborhood changed from apartment buildings to clubs and businesses.

“Do you want a social life?” Blaze asked as the cab pulled over.

Thomas opened the door, thankful to be able to evade the question. He paid the driver and joined Blaze as the cab sped away from the curb.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Thomas gazed at the line of guys waiting to get into the club. This was a bad idea. It was going to take hours for them to get inside, and the last thing he wanted to be doing was waiting in a fucking line on a Friday night. “I think I might. I don’t know.” He knew he was getting tired of spending his days at the office and his nights doing more work. “There has to be more to life than just this.” He waved a hand in front of him, not really referring to the club, but things in general.

“No need to worry, my friend.” Blaze walked up to the doorman, spoke to him for a few seconds, and then motioned. The velvet rope lifted out of their way, and they were inside, just like that.

Thomas didn’t have time to think about it. Instantly he was surrounded by the throbbing beat of the music and the crush of men, many of them shirtless, ripped chests and bellies covered in a glistening sheen of sweat—beauty and sex on display everywhere he looked.

“Where do you want to start?” Blaze asked as a man sauntered right up to him. He was shorter—a pocket powerhouse, judging by all the muscles. He stood on his tiptoes and whispered something to Blaze before sliding his arm around Blaze’s waist. Blaze smiled and made his way to the bar, while Thomas looked around once again, feeling like a junior high kid left standing by the wall while all the others danced.

Thomas, as the head of a very successful company built from the ground up, should be able to go out there and talk to guys. There wasn’t anything to it. He talked to people all day long with no problem whatsoever. But right now, all the guys were gorgeous, tanned, toned… hot.

“Go on out there and meet people,” Blaze said, pressing a beer glass into his hand before downing his shot and turning away with short-and-studly. They made their way to the dance floor, where Blaze smoothly took the other man in his arms and they burned it up. Even Thomas could see they were hot together, and he had been told on multiple occasions that he was pretty clueless about things like that. His own dance moves lay somewhere between a dying chicken and a scarecrow.

Thomas slowly approached the bar and found an empty place to watch what was happening. He finished his beer and ordered another one.

“Hey,” said a man, about thirty, with jet-black hair and piercing eyes, as he leaned over the bar, glancing at Thomas.

“Hello,” Thomas said, giving him his best smile. Why was he so nervous? Thomas quickly searched for something to say that didn’t sound like a line. “Would you like a drink?”

“That would be nice, thanks.” The guy settled next to him, smiling as Thomas got the bartender’s attention and ordered a martini. “I’ve never been here before.” He turned back to the dance floor, and Thomas followed his gaze. “I had no idea there would be so many older guys trolling for young dudes.” The martini arrived, and then the guy was gone.

Thomas shook his head and paid for the drink. Being shot down before he even took a chance was one thing, but the guy being rude was dispiriting. If men were like that, Thomas didn’t understand why anyone bothered at all.

He turned in his seat to watch as Blaze and Studly melded themselves together, dancing, or fucking standing up—it was hard to tell which. He ordered another drink and waited to see if there was anyone to try to talk with.

Thomas quickly realized this whole thing was a mistake. It only helped to drive the point home that he needed a change. Thomas threaded through the crowd to Blaze, explained that he was going home, and told him to have fun. Then he weaved out through the crush of bodies and into the night air. This time he called his car service, requested a limo, and waited, watching the boys in line. When the car pulled up, he got inside, ignoring the looks of curiosity, and rode home.

It was definitely time to get out of New York.