The man across from me was not Dorian Gray. In fact, he couldn’t be Dorian Gray on even his best day. I tilted my head to stare at him at a different angle, hoping it would help. Nope. Nothing.

Currently he was on his fourth tirade about the American healthcare system. The first time I pretended to be interested. Now I wished the table was bigger, so I could hide my phone under the edge to play Candy Crush. At least until I could make a quick clean getaway.

After I saw Michael yesterday, he assured me Dorian often went off on his own and that I shouldn’t worry. He actually shooed me out of the pastry shop and onto the street…without a loaf of bread.

It didn’t stop the worry though. Especially because Jake had yet to call me back. He always called me within at least an hour of me contacting him. This radio silence made me fear the worst.

The world thinks twins have a sort of psychic connection. Not in my experience. Jake and I may look alike, and we definitely love each other, but we also couldn’t be more different.

I defined impulsiveness, him, logic and reason. He was always the military man and patriotic solider. I’m more of the wild-child artist. I resisted the urge to pull my phone out, instead taking a long slow drink of my coffee so I could stop smiling and nodding at this guy for a second.

What was his name? Rob, Ron, Rich…I think it started with an R.

Someone from the theater came into the café and waved. I seized on that gesture and waved back, standing and giving Rob…or was it...Rick…Rich? a give-me-one-second hand. When I reached the woman, I stopped and waited silently.

She leaned to glance at my table. “Are you alright? Do I need to call the cops or something?”

I shook my head. “No please just stand here and look really concerned, so I can stay here plausibly for a few minutes.”

She chuckled and ordered her coffee then schooled her features into a frown. “Is it that bad? Come on.”

“Oh I just learned more about insurance companies than I ever needed or wanted to know.”

“Why insurance companies?”

I shook my head. “Also something I really don’t want to know.”

The barista gave her the coffee, and she turned to go. “Please, stay, chat. How’s the boyfriend?” I begged.

She took a sip. “I don’t have a boyfriend. Although I hear you do, and it’s not the insurance sales man over there.”

“Ok, Trish, back to work!”

I whooshed her away with my arms before I returned to the small table. “Sorry about that, work thing.”

He nodded and launched right back to where he’d stopped before I left. I lasted five more minutes before I pretended my phone was vibrating in my pocket and I had to go. He leaned in to kiss my cheek, and I had to talk myself into keeping my feet planted to let him.

This is why I don’t date. Damn it, Gray. I was pissed when I’d realized we had something good before we even got to explore the options. I was pissed he left without saying a word to me about it. I was pissed that I cared so damn much that I wasn’t sleeping well.

As I stepped out of the café, my phone did start vibrating. Unknown number. I swiped the screen. “Hello?”

“Hey, Beautiful.”

All the air pushed out of me like a sharp poke to an over-inflated balloon. “Jake. You asshole, why haven’t you called?”

“Sorry, Iz, I’ve been busy. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

I tried to keep some of the shaking from my voice while I clutched the phone in both hands to my ear. “I wasn’t worried. More like scared I’d have to adopt your cat if you died. That thing hates me.”

“Uh huh, I’m sure that was it.”

“Okay but really, are you alright? Is ‘busy’ code for classified or…”

“I actually can’t talk about it right now, Iz. But I’ll fill you in really soon.”

“How soon?” I whined. “I miss, you and I haven’t talked to you in what feels like days.”

He laughed, that comforting magical warm laugh. “It’s been like forty-eight hours Iz, calm down.”

I walked slowly toward my apartment and conceded. “Ok, fine. But I expect you to call me back soon.”

“See you soon, Iz.”

He hung up, and I stopped to spend a moment frowning at my phone like it was to blame. No, it was me. I’d been in a mood since Gray left and then my brother wasn’t calling. Like everything conspired against me at once. Even the actors at the theater were trying to test my patience at every turn. Constantly complaining about rehearsing at the studio space instead of the theater. Like I could fix the flooding and mold issues.

Romeo had already threatened to quit twice, and Josephine… I massaged my temples at the thought of my ultra-diva. If Josephine didn’t stop throwing up after every meal, there wouldn’t be anything left of her to fit into the costume on opening night. I’d taken to trapping her in a scene after she ate on set so that she couldn’t get away to puke. It wasn’t the drama; it was that I didn’t know what to do to help her beat her illness. I’m a producer and so not equipped for that.

As I walked home, I thought about Jake. He’d always seemed so solid in his choices. The military all the way, and then when he got into the Navy SEALs, it was the same level of joy as when I was asked to come to Paris to work with the theater. But I didn’t feel that same sense of commitment he did. Every night, I wondered if I was meant to be something else, do something else, go somewhere else.

It was never about the job. I loved producing plays. And no matter how much work or drama went into creating a play, opening night always somehow fell together. Almost by divine ordinance. Once the crowd stands and cheers, tears often shining in some eyes, I’d get that overwhelming sense that the stage is where I belong.

But outside of that single shining victory, I often wondered why the hell I put myself through traveling around the globe, dealing with sick and insane actors, also the occasional billionaire or two. No one was ever like Gray though. Something about him felt different. More comfortable, like my brother, solid and certain in his convictions and character.

I wanted that level of certainty in my life. Instead, I moved all over, dated men who didn’t call, friends who didn’t call…hell, no one ever called when they were supposed to.

A sense of melancholy lingered, and I could feel its dark grip trying to lull me in a deep funk. Usually, they lasted a couple days. I was not going to let Dorian Gray throw me into that mess. No.

I marched all the way home, thinking about donuts, fresh coffee, and Dorian’s mouth on my neck. It was sad to think about him being gone, but the time we shared had been lovely. No doubts about that.

I made it to my apartment and focused only on the good things. Coffee came first. I dropped my bag on the countertop and shuffled around the kitchen to brew a cup. In the mood for something bitter, I found my dark roast and started the hot water.

At least I could do coffee right.

My phone vibrated inside my bag, and I snatched it out of the opening before it could tumble out on the granite. Another unknown caller.

“Jake?” I answered.

“I told you I’d talk to you soon.”

“You’re such an idiot. You could have just told me you would call me back in a minute.”

I hopped up on the counter and swung my legs to knock my heels against the cabinet. “So, tell me what’s been going on. Why haven’t you been able to call?”

“Well, I can’t tell you everything, but I can tell you that I’ve been traveling. That’s why I wasn’t able to call you back before. I’m actually in another country now.”

“Yeah? Which one?”

Static and shuffling came through. “Jake?”

“Iz, you know I can’t tell you anything that specific.”

“I know, just testing your commitment to our national security, of course.”

He laughed. Oh I missed hearing that laugh in person. “When will you get to take leave? Maybe you can come visit, and we can go to the wine country or to the beach.”

“Which beach do you want to go to?”

I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me. “I don’t know, but I’m sure between our super smart selves we can find one far enough away. Hell, we can take a train to Italy, where I know there’s at least a thousand miles between here and us.”

Another laugh. “You know how I love those Italians.”

I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

“Wasn’t your last boyfriend Italian?”

“And my last girlfriend. They were a couple actually. Happy to take in a lonely soldier on leave traveling alone for the holiday.” His tone was all innocence and sweet male guile.

“You’re incorrigible.”

“Hey, we all got what we wanted out of the bargain. No complaints on any side. They both call me from time to time and invite me back.”

“Back to where?”

“Tuscany. Excellent wine there, too.”

I shifted on the counter and tucked my feet up under my legs. “Okay then, it sounds like we have a plan. You just need to take some leave and get your butt to France.”

He made a noise like he was considering his choices. “I don’t know Iz, it’s kind of hot in France this time of year.”

“Not any hotter than Italy, dork.”

“Okay, okay, I guess I’ll get myself to France. It has been a while since you and I spent any real time together. Of course, after we visit, you might not want me anywhere near you for a while.”

“Huh? What does that mean?”

A soft knock came at my door. “Hold on Jake I’m going to put the phone down, someone is knocking.”

I set the phone on the counter, hopped off the edge, and went to the door. I didn’t have a peephole, but my doorman was supposed to ring me if anyone showed up. Come to think of it he’d been failing at that task for some time.

I opened the door and froze.

“Hello, Sis.”