Chapter Eleven
Missy spent the next week and a half in frustrated uncertainty. She’d been so sure Ben had definite interest in her at the holiday stroll, but once she’d returned to work at Checkin, he was so distant she’d started to think she’d imagined it. Or, worse, maybe he’d lost interest. She wished she could’ve followed up on her instincts right after the holiday stroll, but he was busy packing up, and then he was with Logan and Marcus, loading up the truck for their deliveries. Her mind looped with thoughts of Ben. Something in her had shifted, a softening toward him that both scared and exhilarated her. She knew better than to trust a man, but with Ben she wanted to at least give him the benefit of the doubt.
Yes, that was her. Queen of the romantic!
Ben still stopped by for an afternoon coffee break every day, but there was no heat in his eyes. No hint of flirtation in his tone. It was so frustrating because she liked him more than she’d ever liked any man.
Now it was Wednesday morning, her last day was next Monday, and she feared she was running out of time to connect with Ben. They’d both be busy over the holidays, and then who knew how long it would be before she ran into him again? She pushed open the door of Checkin and headed to her office. Logan gave her a quick hello on his way to coffee. She passed Ben’s office and peeked in with a wave. He was on the phone and waved back before resuming his conversation.
That was anticlimactic.
She was being silly. Just because she was feeling differently didn’t mean they were about to embark on a whirlwind romance. It wasn’t like either of them was looking for long-term. Right? Though lately she’d been thinking maybe they should just see where things went. But what if Ben didn’t feel that way at all? Maybe all his friendliness was just the way he spoke to everyone. Hadn’t she witnessed him speaking in a warm friendly tone with every man, woman, and child he’d served Thanksgiving dinner at the homeless shelter?
Ugh. This wasn’t like her to obsess over a man.
She booted up the laptop and found a detailed email from Logan about her work for the day. He was super organized that way. As always, he was open to questions, but everything was spelled out so clearly she was able to get started right away. She pushed thoughts of Ben from her mind and dove into the presentation software. It felt like only a few minutes had passed when there was a knock at her door.
She glanced at the time, already four o’clock, and looked up, smiling in anticipation of Ben’s coffee-break visit.
Logan. Her smile dropped.
He walked in. “Aw, come on, I’m not that bad. Don’t look so disappointed.”
Busted! Her cheeks burned. “I’m making good progress on the presentation.”
“Awesome. I want to put that in report form. Now I’m thinking it’ll be cooler to make a video presentation. They’ll have the hard copy to do some number crunching, but I want something that reels them in and gives them major FOMO so they’ll be eager to sign on the dotted line. You ever put together a video?”
“No.”
He crossed his arms, staring off in the distance. “Maybe I should outsource this one.” He focused on her again. “Any leads?”
“Try Claire. If not with her production company, I’m sure she knows freelancers looking for work.”
“Now why didn’t I think of that? My own sister-in-law.” He gave her a warm smile. “Have I mentioned you’re brilliant? Not just because of that. I’ve been really impressed with your work.”
She looked away, embarrassed. She didn’t have a fancy college degree; she’d dropped out of high school and got her GED. Everything she’d learned was self-taught or on the job. Brilliant was not something she’d ever heard applied to her.
“Missy, would you like to join us full-time?” Logan asked. “We could really use someone like you, hardworking, smart, excellent computer skills. It could be a position you grow as the company grows. Maybe we could create an office manager position when we staff up. Just spitballing here. What do you think?”
She shut her gaping mouth with a snap. Holy shit. Two and a half weeks on the job and he wanted her full-time. They were a company on the verge of greatness, and she knew from the numbers she’d been working with that they were already doing fantastic.
“Don’t you have an admin returning after the New Year?” she asked.
“Yup, we do. But I’d like to have you here too. She’d do more of the strictly admin stuff, emails, filing, data entry, and you’d do more advanced stuff like reporting, maybe some beta testing as we improve the software, bookkeeping. If you’re interested in working on the actual software, we’d pay for coding classes to get you up to speed. Like I said, it could be a position you grow according to your interests. We’re not super hung up on job titles. We just want to work with the best people.” At her stunned silence, he continued. “Full benefits and stock options. What’re you making at your current job?”
She flashed to her bosses, Vince and Sophia Marino, kind hardworking people who’d made it possible for her to move to Clover Park and be close to her sister. Lily had treated her like family from day one, even before they knew each other well, and introduced her to the Marino family and everything good in her life. She owed the Marinos so much. How many times had Sophia told her she didn’t know how they’d managed before she arrived? It was about more than money, it was about family. Loyalty. Leaving for greener pastures felt like a betrayal.
Logan tapped on her desk. “Whatever you’re making, we’ll match it and then some. Think about it.” He left.
She sat there for a few moments, her mind reeling. She tried to think logically. This was business, and what Logan had just offered was a great opportunity. The stock options alone could be extraordinary if the company went public. But then emotions took over. She’d have to leave her bosses, who’d become like family to her. Marino and Capello Construction was a good solid business she expected to be around for a long time. They treated her well, even keeping her on at full pay when she worked part-time during the seasonal lulls in their business. If she worked here, her new boss wouldn’t just be Logan, it would be Ben as well. Now that would be a twisted and sticky situation—Ben in a position of authority over her. Real authority not just a temp gig, determining her raises and whether or not her employment continued. And, if it didn’t work out, she’d have to go crawling back to Marino and Capello Construction, begging for her old job back. She’d lose that warm Marino Sunday dinner feeling of belonging, the only time she’d felt like part of a real family since her parents died. They’d think she didn’t appreciate all that they’d done for her.
Nope. Too risky. She’d tell Logan thanks but no thanks.
On the other hand, the job offer was more than she’d ever dreamed for herself, a position tailored to her strengths and interests that could grow into something more.
She turned back to the computer, the screen blurring in front of her suddenly wet eyes. Geez, what was wrong with her lately? She was never this emotional. Gah. Now she couldn’t focus. She stood, thinking of going downstairs to spill her guts to Sabrina, who was always a great listener, but thought better of it. Sabrina was probably with a client. She had a regular stream of people seeking her out.
She headed toward the kitchen. She’d get her own coffee today. She was just pouring a steaming mug when the door opened to Ben carrying a tray of take-out coffee for their afternoon ritual. Her heart pounded, and she wasn’t sure if it was his sudden appearance—his cheeks ruddy from the cold, tall and gorgeous in his black leather jacket and jeans—or because she’d been caught about to drink coffee behind his back.
“What’re you smoking?” he asked her. “Get over here and have the good stuff.” He didn’t wait for a reply, just kept walking. “Logan, coffee!”
She drained her cup, washed it out, and met up with him in her office. He sat in his usual chair, jacket off, making himself right at home. She fought the sudden urge to sit in his lap, running her fingers through his soft hair—
Nope. He’d been much too distant for her to risk the rejection. Besides, she was a professional. Hadn’t she just been offered a fabulous job opportunity on the basis of her professional qualifications? Her stomach rolled and she ignored it. She continued on to her chair and accepted his offered coffee. “Thanks.”
He lifted his coffee in acknowledgment before taking a sip.
“Logan offered me a full-time job.”
He straightened, eyes wide. “He did?”
“Obviously he didn’t check with you first.”
“When did this happen?”
“Just a few minutes ago. I guess when you were out getting coffee.”
He slowly nodded. “Logan!” he barked. And when he didn’t get an immediate response, he grabbed the phone and called him. “You making job offers without my say-so? We’re partners.” There was a long pause. “True. Yeah, okay.” He hung up.
“What did he say?”
Ben cocked his head. “He said and I quote, ‘Get your head out of your ass. We agreed she’s been a great help and does impressive work. I’ll work out the parameters with you later.’” He sipped his coffee, his gaze on her. “I could see it, actually. You in?”
She gripped her coffee cup with both hands. “I don’t know. I already have a good job working for good people.”
“What’re we? The bad guys?”
“No, not at all. You guys have been great.” She swallowed hard. “He says my position could grow with the company, beyond admin, whatever I want.”
His lips curled up in a small smile. “That’s a sweet offer. He knows talent when he sees it and he wants to reward that.”
She flushed, uncomfortable with the compliment, her second one today. Brilliant and talented. She told herself not to let it go to her head, but an unusual pride filled her. Recognition of her hard work from her two gorgeous bosses. Uh-oh.
She leaned close to whisper, “You would be my boss.”
“And that would be bad because…”
“You know.”
His dimples appeared briefly before he got serious. “No, I don’t know. Tell me.”
Because we hooked up! Because I still want you, and I have no idea if you still want me. “Don’t play dumb.”
He leaned back in his seat. “You want to work here, you can work here. Absolutely nothing is standing in your way.”
Her stomach dropped. He really was over her. He sipped his coffee, quiet and cool, which got her more agitated.
She swallowed hard. “You’re just trying to make me say something inappropriate.” I hope.
He raised a brow, still staring at her, completely composed.
And then she knew how to solve all of her current problems. She’d make her move on Ben now, and whether or not he responded, it would shut down the job opportunity with all its complications. She had a brief moment of hesitation where she considered if there was a better way, but the last week and a half of Ben frustration pushed her forward. She glanced out to the main office area. No sign of Logan.
She leaned across the desk and whispered, “After hours, when Logan is gone for the day, we’ll fuck.”
He stared at her mouth. “We will?”
She leaned back in her seat, pleased with her elegant solution. Screw professional boundaries, give in to overwhelming lust, and close the door on the job opportunity.
She suppressed a smile, almost giddy at the idea of being with Ben again. Tonight. Maybe right on this desk. Then she thought she should make it sound casual, not put any big expectations out there. She didn’t want to scare him away. He’d been very up front with her about the casual nature of his relationships.
She met his eyes. His expression was back to cool and composed. Oh-kay, she could be just as cool and casual. She spoke in a level tone she hoped didn’t betray the level of her excitement. “Yes, one more time.” And hopefully more. “And I will never work for you after this temp gig. You will never be my boss. Ever.”
He stood, glaring down at her. “You want to fuck up a great job opportunity for one fuck?”
Cheeks hot, she stammered, “I-I just thought…” She trailed off as he stalked around the desk toward her. Her mouth went dry, all of her senses on alert, excited by his rough edges that she hadn’t seen since she started working here, excited that he definitely had some interest in her.
Her chair swiveled suddenly, his hands on the arms of it, caging her in as he got in her face, the heat back in his eyes. “You are not fucking me one time.”
He was so temptingly close. She licked her lips, staring at his mouth.
He leaned back a little, his voice rough. “I don’t care about the job. Do what you want.”
Their gazes locked, both of them breathing harder. Heat pooled between her legs, her body on board even before she touched him.
“Then what’re you so mad about?” she asked, her voice breathy with lust.
He spoke fiercely, every word enunciated with sharp bite. “I’m not happy with your casual one fuck.”
Her stomach dipped, her pulse quickening. “Say fuck again.”
He started to straighten up, away from her, when she grabbed his head and kissed him. He kissed her right back, pulling her up right out of her seat, the fire igniting between them. God, she’d missed this. The rush of excitement, losing herself in his scent and taste. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing close against his hard body, primal instinct taking over for a kiss that went on and on. She wanted to merge with him as close as two people could get.
He pulled away abruptly, taking a step back from her. “That was you,” he growled. “You kissed me.”
She grabbed the edge of the desk, her knees weak. “I know.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face, looking absolutely miserable. Her heart sank, her gut starting a slow churn.
He gave her a hard look. “Dammit, that wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“Why?”
He spoke through his teeth. “Because I am a professional. I can’t move in on female employees. You are a female employee.”
“But I—”
He turned and stalked out the door. A few moments later, she heard the door to the main office slam. He’d actually left the office because of her kiss.
She put her fingers to her still-tingling lips, staring at his coffee that he’d been too upset to take with him. A dreadful certainty settled over her. She’d royally fucked things up.
~ ~ ~
Missy was immediately proven right when Ben avoided her the next couple of days. No more coffee breaks, no more conversation. Just a polite greeting like you’d give any random coworker you passed in the hall. She’d lost him before she ever really had him. She shouldn’t have acted so casual, that was what set him off. She’d been hedging her bets in case he didn’t feel the same way, and now everything was just…gone. She didn’t know if he was more upset that she’d treated him casually or that she’d crossed the line in the workplace. Maybe both. She should’ve handled it better, waited for a better time to connect with him, somewhere outside of work.
Ben skulked around the office, snapping at Logan, his expression tight. Not at all like the warm teasing Ben she’d enjoyed so much. Logan kept asking him what the hell was his problem. Ben never replied. But she knew it was her. She was miserable over causing him pain when she’d only wanted to bring him closer.
Yesterday, Thursday, she’d told Logan she didn’t want to leave her current employer out of loyalty, which he respected. That just made her feel worse. She should’ve taken that approach all along instead of tangling Ben up in it.
The worst part was, she was running out of time to fix things with Ben. It was nearly five o’clock on Friday, and she had the weekend to figure something out because Monday was her last day, and if she didn’t fix it then, she wasn’t ever going to get another chance. Maybe after work on Monday she could get Ben alone for a private conversation and try to be more open about her growing feelings for him.
Logan appeared in her doorway. “Got a minute?”
“Of course.”
He took a seat and leveled her with a serious look before saying, “Missy, we both really appreciate the work you put in here.”
He paused and, in that pause, Missy panicked. Had Ben told Logan she’d acted inappropriately, crossing the line? She’d never done anything like that before and would hate for that to leave a black mark against her. What if he gave her a bad reference? Shit. She hadn’t thought through the consequences of her impulsive action. That was so not like her.
She steeled herself for the worst. “Thanks, it’s been a great experience.”
“Today is your last day.”
She gulped. “You’re letting me go?”
He slid an envelope across the desk to her. “Full pay. You ever need a recommendation, just ask.” He didn’t sound mad. Maybe Ben hadn’t said anything.
She stared at the envelope and then met his eyes, still not sure what this was about. “So you don’t need me on Monday?”
He gave her a small smile. “Consider it an early Christmas gift. Take Monday off, get ready for the holidays, relax, whatever you want.” Monday was the day before Christmas Eve.
She nearly collapsed with relief. It was so generous and so unexpected. Still, she had to make sure there wasn’t another reason behind the gesture. She knew there was more work to do. “Logan, why? I mean, this is very generous, but have I done something wrong?”
“Not at all.” He stood abruptly. “Enjoy your weekend.”
“You too,” she replied to his retreating back. He’d booked it out of her office.
Hmm…well, it looked like she’d just run out of time to fix things with Ben. It was now or never.
She peeked at her paycheck. He’d paid her in full plus a little extra. Her throat tightened; she’d miss working with Logan. All in all, it had been a fantastic experience working here, knowing her work was appreciated. Except for her screwup with Ben, she had absolutely no regrets. She tucked her paycheck into her purse, stood, and set the strap over her shoulder. She looked around her office, probably the last time she’d have her own private office, and sighed. Then she slowly walked out, grabbing her coat from the back of the door and carrying it, giving herself some time to come up with what she was going to say to Ben.
This wasn’t the right place for that kind of conversation. She should ask him to dinner, someplace nice where they could talk and eat, like a date. A real date. A jolt of adrenaline shot through her. She’d never asked a man to dinner and couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a real date.
She picked up speed, making the short walk to his office and barging right in before she could lose her nerve.
His head snapped up in surprise. “Hi.”
She gripped her purse tightly, her fingers trembling. She took the seat across from him. “Logan let me go. This is my last day, so I wanted to say goodbye.”
His brows scrunched together. “I thought you were working through the end of the day Monday.”
She lifted one shoulder. “He said it was an early Christmas gift, giving me the day off. He paid me in full.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
She nodded. “It was a really nice gesture. Now I’ll have some time to shop. I might be able to get everything done before the big Christmas Eve rush. This might be the first time I haven’t had to shop on Christmas Eve.” Her mouth was running away from her, saying everything but the most important thing.
“Did you like working here?” Ben asked, his tone brusquely professional like she was having an exit interview with HR.
“Yes, everything was great.” And I’m sorry I acted like you were just a casual fuck.
He nodded once. “And you’re happy with the way things turned out? No complaints?”
“Nope. I’m happy.” Much happier if I could be with you again.
“Good.”
They looked at each other for a long moment.
She couldn’t read his expression at all. She broke the silence, eager to move past the awful distance between them. “So I guess…” I’m sorry. I really like you. The words caught in her throat. She wasn’t used to being open with anyone, especially a man. She’d spent so much time and energy protecting herself from the dangers of men.
He leaned forward. “What?”
She gripped her hands tightly together. “I was wondering, I mean, if you wanted to…” She stopped and took a deep breath. He surprised her by speaking at the exact same time with the exact same question.
“Would you like to have dinner tonight?”