Chapter Two
Mollie paid the taxi and hurried up the steps to her top-floor apartment. Declan was due home tonight, so she’d finished work a little earlier and stopped off at the market to get ingredients for his favorite supper—beef lasagna followed by homemade apple pie.
Her reflective mood had lasted throughout the day. She loved Declan with all her heart, but couldn’t shake the fear that he would become bored with her. Intellectually, they were a match. She loved their conversations about business, about art and music, and knew she often surprised him with her insights. But sexually? She knew of his previous exploits with women, and he’d never once made her feel bad about herself, quite the opposite. But that niggling doubt regarding her bedroom skills was never far away.
She’d been thinking about Lisa’s instruction to go with the flow, to let Declan show her, teach her. Maybe next time he tried to take things further she would let him.
Real ladies act like ladies, my girl. In and out of the bedroom. Only whores enjoy sex.
Her mother’s words rang through her head, causing a chill to tremble through her veins. She tried to block them, to replace them with Lisa’s new directives. She was a grown woman, for heaven’s sake. Didn’t she have the right to act on her own needs and desires without feeling like some sort of degenerate?
Her thoughts came crashing to a close when she stepped out of the lift and saw Declan leaning against her apartment door.
Instantly her heart slammed against her ribcage and everything inside her lit up, washing away all the doubts and fears she had been mulling over. She all but ran into his arms, knocking him back a couple of steps as he laughed and picked her up off her feet to swing her around.
“I didn’t think you’d be back until later tonight,” she said breathlessly between kissing him. “Why didn’t you call? I’d have been home much earlier.”
He set her down, but didn’t take his arms from around her. “Wanted to surprise you,” he said, kissing her back as if he couldn’t get enough. “I called your shop and your assistant told me you’d just left. Did you miss me?”
“Always.”
He grabbed the key from her hand and stabbed it into the lock. Mollie knew the time for talking had been brief, and there were no prizes for guessing where things were heading.
Inside, Declan pushed her against the closed door, his hands gripping her hips. He made short work of divesting her of her top, her bra, his hands moving over her with the urgency of someone who had been apart from his lover for too long.
His big hand covered her breast, his thumb brushing roughly against her hardened nipple. “I need you, Mollie,” he grated against her mouth. “I need to...be inside you.”
Lost in sensation, Mollie dropped her head back against the door and thrust her breasts forward into Declan’s hands. “I want that too.”
Declan hoisted her into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She could feel his erection pressing against her. She was so hot for him. He walked them through to the bedroom and she wound her arms around his neck, nibbling her way along the hard line of his jaw. His cock jumped in response.
Unceremoniously, he dumped her on the bed. She had a little blip, a tremble of anxiety, but reminded herself that she was now going with the flow. She was going to trust Declan. Let him teach her, guide her.
It seemed he had the same idea, because he dragged off her jeans and her flat pumps along with them. In his eyes she saw determination, resolution, and it made her juices run slicker, her pulse beat faster.
That he could be gentle and a little rough at the same time was a strange combination, but one he managed to pull off in spectacular fashion.
She lay there naked except for a frilly black thong, but he made no attempt to divest her of that. Instead, he stood looking down at her draped across the bed. After a moment’s battle in her head, Mollie stretched her arms languidly above her head and writhed a little sensuously. He watched her, his mouth slightly open, nostrils flaring, and unhooked the snap of his jeans. With the zipper halfway down, he reached over his head and tugged off his polo shirt, displaying ripped abs and a muscular chest.
No matter how many times they’d made love during the few short months they’d been together, Mollie’s breath still hitched at the sight of him.
His eyes not leaving hers, Declan shrugged out of his jeans and took his boxers with them. His erection stood proud and stunningly ready for action. Her pulse was hammering now and she reached down to the sides of her thong, planning to rid herself of the final barrier between them.
Declan’s hands shot out and he gripped her wrists. Another little battle played in her head, but she stifled her reservations and opened her legs in silent invitation for Declan to hunker between them.
His eyes narrowed, and she sensed he was waging his own battle. Then he grinned. “Pulling off your panties is my job.”
She took a breath, willing back the tightness between her ribcage. “Then why don’t you get on with it?”
His grin widened. “Not just yet.”
Pressing her arms down, Declan anchored her so that she couldn’t move. His cock prodded her abdomen, leaving behind a slick of pre-come across her rapidly heating flesh.
He kissed just above the spot, trailing his tongue around her navel and along the top of her thong. Mollie closed her eyes and gave herself up to the delicious torture she guessed was to come.
Declan loved to tease her. He loved to string out their lovemaking when possible, even though she knew it cost him. She could tell because his cock was throbbing, jerking with each kiss he pressed to her sensitive skin. His breathing was deep, a slight hiss with each exhale, while his chest expanded with each inhale. She wanted to touch him, to run her hands over his glistening flesh, but he held her wrists firm.
Fisting her hands, she tried to gain release from his hold.
“Quit,” he growled against her stomach. “Unless...you want me to punish you.”
Mollie went still, momentarily forgetting that she was supposed to be going with the flow. “P-punish me?”
“Punish you,” he confirmed, tightening his fingers around her wrists. “There are many ways to do that, angel. And this is only the start.”
There was something different about him, Mollie thought with a shiver. He seemed...intense.
Before she could take that realization through to a conclusion, Declan looked up, that intensity she’d sensed in him burning in his eyes. Mollie tried to relax back against the mattress, but his words kept playing in her head.
Punish you. This is only the start.
She couldn’t quite deny the thrill that rippled through her and heated her blood. This was her chance to let go, really let go, and show Declan the sort of woman she could be. To show herself the sort of woman she could be, and put paid to her fears about their future and her ability to keep him satisfied.
Instinct told her he would like to dominate her in the bedroom, tie her up, spank her, and do all those things she had discovered during her online searches. That scared her, but was she really afraid because it might unleash her own needs and desires and turn her into the sort of woman her mother had warned her she would become?
To hell with all that. This was her future. Hers and Declan’s. No way would she put that in jeopardy because of some bitter woman who thought sex was wrong. What she shared with Declan was beautiful. They loved each other. How could anything they did together be wrong?
Decision made, and as if to thumb her nose at her mother and her twisted ideas, Mollie released her fists and let her arms go loose.
Declan hesitated only for a moment, then lowered his head again and used his teeth to yank at her thong. Seconds later the scrap of fabric was around the top of her thighs, her pussy bared to his gaze.
His deep groan sent fire rocketing through her body, and she raised her hips just a fraction to encourage him. He gave another groan, tightened his hold on her wrists and pressed them down to the mattress. Burying his head between her legs, he used his tongue to tease along her slit.
Heat shot through her core and she widened her legs as much as the material around her thighs would allow. Declan rocked forward, pushing his tongue deeper inside her, the movement soon setting up an excruciating need for completion.
The need built and Mollie heard herself beg. His response was to withdraw, release her hands and whip her onto her stomach before she even knew what was happening.
With one hand on her ass, he pushed her down into the mattress, and with his free hand ripped off her thong. He spread her legs wide with a determination that stole her breath.
There really was something different, Mollie thought dazedly. He seemed edgy, focused. She’d sensed it from the moment she’d greeted him.
There had always been an element of control about him, but now it was as if that control had been stripped away to reveal a different side to him. Masterful. Potent.
And it...excited her.
“Declan...”
He ran his hand between her legs from the inside of her calf muscle to her inner thigh. Tiny shockwaves coursed through her body, coming to a halt at her very core. Still with one hand pressing down on her backside, he teased her pussy lips with the forefinger of the other.
“I want this,” he grated. “I won’t hurt you, but let me do this.”
She wanted to move as that old panicky feeling edged its way into her newfound determination, but it was hard as he kept her firmly anchored. His hand stilled, indicating that he didn’t intend to proceed without her consent. When her muscles contracted in anticipation of his touch, Mollie nodded. He slid his finger into her slit, forcing it a little because the pressure of his hand kept her flat against the mattress. He worked his finger in and out using long, slow movements.
Forcing back her old reactions, and reminding herself of her new resolve, Mollie went with it. She swept her arms out to the sides and brought them above her head. The action pressed her stomach down more and increased the delicious pressure against her pelvis.
Declan kneaded her buttock flesh, his hand warm and big and masterful, his movements firm and rhythmic, and just as Mollie felt the edge of orgasm, he pulled out his finger and stopped stroking her ass.
He leaned down. “You going to let me spank you, Mol?”
Mollie was so near climax that his words took a moment to penetrate her fuzzy brain. He wanted to spank her? There was something decadent and not quite right about agreeing to let a man spank you, wasn’t there?
A woman doesn’t allow those kind of things, Mollie. She doesn’t let a man use her in a debauched and unseemly fashion.
Go to hell, Mollie thought. Just...go to hell.
She wanted to try those things. She wanted to try them with Declan. She trusted him. She’d never trusted anyone more. Most certainly not her puritanical mother, who went through life with her glass half empty, distrustful and critical of others. And most definitely not her waster father, who had left when Mollie was three years old and had never been heard of again.
She wanted to let go of all those things and focus on her future with Declan. It was time.
With her resolve firmly in place, she turned to look at him over her shoulder. “Yes,” she said before she could change her mind, and felt a small boulder drop from her shoulders.
She would prove to herself that she could be adventurous and bold and keep Declan satisfied in the sack. Then she could put all her concerns away and focus on their future together.
Behind her, Declan sucked in a breath, and she felt him tense momentarily. Then he shifted, coming to sit with his back against the headboard and adeptly maneuvering her so that she was spread across his lap, her backside tilted into the air below his chest. Slowly, he circled his hand around each cheek. It was almost torturous the way he took his time, and Mollie wondered at his control seeing as every couple of moments his cock jerked against her pussy.
He’d gotten her so heated that when he took his hand away from her skin she felt a shiver run across the sensitive flesh of her ass. She was about to shift a little, but his hand came down on her sharp and fast. She jerked, the movement pressing her pussy harder against his cock, which jumped in response.
The sting of the slap immediately gave way to a pleasure that coursed through her. Her breasts stroked the edge of his thigh, the roughness of his skin providing a steady friction as she moved. She shot out her hands, trying to steady herself. Wet droplets from Declan’s cock slicked across her stomach, but she had no time to savor that because his hand came down again.
Once more pleasure shot between her legs and she wriggled closer to Declan’s erection. Oh heck, she wanted him to penetrate her now, to satiate this amazing sensation building in her core.
“Okay?” he asked, his voice husky and deep.
Mollie nodded. She liked it, although it was hard to admit that even to herself. In fact, she loved sex with Declan, something she’d felt she could never really acknowledge or think about too deeply. She certainly could never bring herself to talk to him about it. Her mother’s influence had obviously gone deeper than Mollie had anticipated. Now she wanted to tell him, to ask him to show her those things that he’d tried to in the past, but she just couldn’t find the words. Like always, her throat closed, and she worried that it would sound promiscuous and smutty.
She’d never told him, she’d never asked him.
“Quit wriggling,” Declan growled, shifting her to keep her steady and still on his lap. “You’ve probably noticed I’m about to shoot my load.”
As if to consolidate that statement he spanked her again. Mollie closed her eyes as the pleasure of it shuddered through her. If only she hadn’t been so resistant to this kind of sexual play before. She really enjoyed it. And she wasn’t going to spoil what they were doing by having the voice of doom echo inside her head that it was wrong in any way.
She moaned softly, blanking her mind and just going with sensation. “Declan...”
He slid his free hand between them and found her aching pussy. He slipped his finger between her wet, swollen lips and began to work her. “How does it feel?” he said huskily. “Tell me.”
Mollie swallowed, and told herself there was no slinking back to the safety of her fears. “It feels... It feels amazing. More,” she heard herself say. “Deeper. Please.”
She heard him suck in a breath, felt his chest expand. “Deeper?” he asked, his voice like gravel. “Tell me how deep, angel.”
She tried to shift, to show him, but his hand on her butt kept her still. And his finger also stilled. Mollie wanted to scream.
“I’m not moving until you tell me,” Declan warned. “We can stay here all night.”
Considering the size of his cock, Mollie doubted that. And he seemed to be struggling for each breath, a sure sign he was on the verge of losing it. But Mollie knew they had reached some sort of crossroads in their sex life. She wanted, hell, she liked hearing him talk during sex. She wasn’t going to disappoint him or herself by refusing to crash through her tenuous barriers to freedom.
“I want you inside me, Declan.”
“Not good enough,” he rasped. “And it’s not an answer.”
She shuddered in a breath. “I want you to push...your finger inside me...” The vestiges of her remaining restraint seemed to snap with her first real attempt to verbalize her needs. “As...as deep as you can go.”
After a moment, he did exactly that, and pushed up inside her.
Mollie moaned her pleasure, her breasts jiggling against his knee as he stroked her firmly. His hold on her ass lessened enough that she could lift her hips in the air, allowing him, coaxing him, to go deeper, deeper still.
“You like that?” he asked, his voice so deep and hushed she barely heard it through the haze of sensual pleasure. “Do you know what else I want to do to you?”
When she shook her head, he withdrew his finger and tossed her onto her back, where she sprawled across the bed in a wanton display of feminine need.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he said again. “You need to learn that when I ask you something it means I need you to answer me.” His eyes were fierce and he kept them locked on hers.
After a moment’s hesitation, Mollie hiked herself up onto her elbows and, watching him, arched her back to better display her breasts. She pushed past the little lump lodged in her throat—she supposed old habits died hard—and made herself answer him.
“What do you want to do to me, Declan?”
His eyes flashed before he yanked a pillow away and tore off the case. Still with those fierce eyes on hers, he twisted the case and put one knee on the bed. “This.”
He reached above her, those steady eyes relentless as he held her gaze. She knew he was checking in, making sure she was okay. And she really loved him for it. She held her arms up, her palms together, and offered herself to him. Slowly, he bound the pillowcase around her wrists.
“You need to tell me,” he said softly. “You need to make it clear if you want me to stop.”
“I don’t want that,” she said, and raised her leg so that she could stroke her foot down the outside of his thigh. “I trust you, Declan. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to show you how much.”
He swallowed. And for the first time, she thought how unsure he looked. “This is for both of us, Mol. We’re good together, and everything we do celebrates that fact. I don’t want you ever to doubt it.”
She smiled. “I don’t.”
He didn’t look convinced, but she supposed she couldn’t blame him, seeing how she’d always given him a red light whenever he’d tried to push their boundaries, sex-wise. And she knew her lack of vocal encouragement during sex was something she needed to address if she were to convince him of her intention to be more adventurous.
It was time to release the last vestiges of her old conditioning. To bury it, once and for all.
“Show me things, Declan.” She leaned up to kiss him. “I want to experience it all.”
* * *
Declan wasn’t sure how long he could keep himself from going over the top. Everything Mollie was saying was exactly what he’d always dreamed of hearing. Tonight, all bets seemed to be off. But something was telling him not to push things too far, even with her in this fortuitous mood.
He thought about the conversation he’d overheard her having with Lisa. In fact, he couldn’t seem to get that damned conversation out of his mind. Mollie had lamented her lack of sexual experimentation, and had wished she’d sampled more before she’d met him. There was no way he could change that. And fuck it to hell, he wouldn’t want to. He liked that he’d been her only lover. At least, he had until overhearing that damn conversation.
And now she was telling him she wanted to experience it all. What did that mean? She hadn’t exactly said she wanted to experience it all with him. Did she still hanker after adventure? With other men? A freaking threesome?
Shit. He was driving himself fucking insane.
He kept her hands tied above her head, pressed his palm to her wrists to hold her there. “I’ll show you things, angel,” he growled as he allowed the frustration to vent. “I’ll show you things you don’t even know exist. Make you feel things you’ve never imagined you could feel.”
And by doing so he’d make sure she’d never have cause to doubt their future together, or lament her lack of experience with other men.
She arched, lifting her breasts to where his mouth hovered just above the rosy nipples. He shot out his tongue and slowly laved the tender peaks. Mollie moaned and gyrated beneath him, but tried to close her legs. He was having none of it. With her open to him, he pressed a hand to her mound.
Shit. She was hot, wet, and all but throbbing for him. He teased her opening with his forefinger, taking care to avoid her clit. It didn’t stop her pressing up toward him.
Fuck, but he liked her like this. Gone, it seemed, was the tentative woman he’d always tried to accommodate by going slow and easy. In her place was a siren. His to mold into the kind of woman who could enjoy indulging in her own needs as well as administering to his.
Thoughts flashed into his frenzied brain. Images of her tied up, helpless as he did what the fuck he wanted to do. He’d take her hard, fast, administer a brutal assault on all her senses. She would cry out for him to give her release, even as he used some of those toys on her, the kind he’d put away and thought never to have use for again.
With the promise of such adventures in his future, Declan focused on the moment. Slow and steady, he thought. He loved Mollie with all his heart, and she was everything he’d ever wanted.
He didn’t want any barriers to the sexual pleasure he could give her. To all the ways he could show her how much he adored her, worshipped her. And since they’d cracked open the door, there was no way on God’s fucking green earth he was going to blow it by coming on too fast, too soon.
But that didn’t mean he couldn’t give her a taster.
“Keep your hands above your head,” he ordered, before slowly taking his restraining hand away. “Do you hear what I say?”
“Yes.”
She bit her lower lip, which pushed his restraint to the heavens. He removed his hand from her pussy, earning a little mumble of protest as he pulled out his finger. He allowed himself a small grin and placed his hands on either side of her ribcage. Feasting on those plump, ripe nipples, he took turns with each one and held her firm when she tried to arch and squirm.
Pleased that her tied hands were still above her head, he kissed down the center of her body, using his tongue to slowly circle her navel. She must have guessed that he didn’t intend to stop there because she tried to draw her legs together, but he simply nudged them wider.
“You’re going to give me what I want, and I’m going to make sure you like it.”
Her muscles clenched but then relaxed a tad, so he kept his eyes on hers and ran his finger slowly down her slit. Her stomach muscles clenched again, but she kept her legs wide.
“I’m going to eat you. Hard. I’m going to suck your clit until you scream. Do you hear?”
Her throat moved as she swallowed. “Yes.”
He shoved up one of her knees, pushed her bent leg out to the side and spread his fingers over her heat, sliding them slowly back and forward. Her breathing came in fast, unsteady gasps. Bending lower, he ran the tip of his tongue along her slit with just enough pressure to make her feel it.
She made little mewing sounds, her neck arched so that her throat was exposed and her teeth clenched together. He glanced up at her. Shit, but she looked fucking sultry lying there, open to him, while the taste of her burst along his tongue.
“Declan... Declan...”
She moaned his name, over and over, heating his blood to combustible levels. His cock was throbbing, his head pounding. Unable to resist any longer, he shoved his tongue inside her, mimicked what his cock would do as soon as it replaced his mouth. He sucked her hard, her hips bucking beneath his frenzied mouth.
Mollie made frantic sounds, her breathing fast and furious. She stiffened, and he felt her pulse against his mouth as she came.
He looked up at her, at the beautifully rounded hips, the gorgeous orbs of her full breasts, the generous and ripe mouth that was currently open as she gasped for air.
“Okay?” He wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “Fuck, Mol. You taste fantastic.”
She blushed and closed her eyes. When his cock jerked, he grabbed a condom and positioned himself above her. “Ready for me, angel?”
“Yes.”
She wasn’t going to get away with a one-word response. “Open your eyes and tell me how much.”
Slowly she opened her eyes, blushed a little more. “Very much. I want you inside me.”
He grabbed hold of his cock and brought it to her opening. “What do you want me to do when I’m there?”
“I want... I want you to...fuck me. Hard.”
Shit, but that was the hottest thing he’d ever heard in his goddamn life. How many times had he dreamt of hearing her say that? Okay, so he’d had to prompt her to say it, but baby steps and all that. He could do those baby steps.
Since his throat had basically closed, all he could do was grunt as he nudged her slick entrance. He pushed inside her, past the hot, wet heat that surrounded him, clasped him.
He did what she’d asked. He fucked her hard. So hard the headboard slammed against the wall with each push. With her hands still tied above her head, her breasts jiggling with each shove and retreat, and her feet sliding against his ass, he felt sensation slam into him and couldn’t hold back any longer.
He came, pumping into the condom and shouting his release.
Spent, he froze above her, trying to get his breathing under control. It felt like she had pulled everything inside him apart, and he needed time to let the pieces of himself fit back together.
In that moment, he knew there wasn’t one thing in the damn world he wouldn’t do to make her happy. He never wanted her to have regrets, or to doubt what they shared. He wanted her to have faith in their future.
The plan he’d put into motion was the right thing to do.
“Declan... I... Wow.” She laughed softly beneath him, her own breathing scrappy and rapid.
“Yeah. Wow.”
He kissed her, soft and light in sharp contrast to the way he’d pounded into her.
“Are you okay?” He unfastened the knot in the pillow, freeing her hands. “I didn’t want to—”
She touched a finger to his mouth. “Don’t say anything. It was amazing, Declan. Really amazing.”
The light in her eyes, the sheer wonderment he saw there, humbled him. “I never wanted to push it,” he confessed, stroking hair from her cheek. “I always sensed that you didn’t want me to take things further than you were comfortable with. Maybe I’ve been wrong in that.”
“It’s me who’s been wrong.” She took a deep breath, closed her eyes. “I’ve... I’ve not been honest with you.”
A chill rippled down Declan’s spine, but he hoisted himself up against the headboard. Mollie moved with him, resting her head on his chest. Was she about to voice her regrets about not having taken lovers before him? Fuck. He didn’t want to hear that.
“My mother was really puritanical when it came to sex. Her views on what was right and proper were Victorian, and it’s only lately that I’ve come to think her views were colored by my father walking out on her. Maybe she wanted to protect me, to steer me away from men, encouraging me to focus on building my career instead.” She sighed, making his muscles shiver as her warm breath shimmered over his flesh. “I’m babbling a little, but I’m still trying to get it straight in my own mind. Still making sense of it.”
“Go on.” His voice sounded hoarse and sharp, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that this was leading to a confession along the lines of what he’d overheard her discussing with Lisa.
Every muscle inside him went tight, sending icy chills through his bloodstream.
“She said decent women didn’t enjoy sex, they just endured it, the same way she had done.”
She trailed her fingers lightly across his abdomen, and he tried not to react. But hell, his cock didn’t get the message. As it jerked, he rolled his eyes to the ceiling. They were having this important conversation and he had to keep focused on what Mollie was telling him.
“I don’t find it easy to let go during sex, or to talk about it, or say out loud what I want. But I don’t want to be that person anymore, Declan. It’s time to change, to be the woman I choose to be. One who enjoys sex, really enjoys it. I wish I’d been more experienced when we met, that I’d learned things, tried things. I... I really want to learn, Declan. I want to try anything and everything.” She hoisted herself up so she could face him. “I want to put away my past conditioning. Forever.”
Shit, but he didn’t like this. Not one fucking bit. She wanted to try anything. Everything. But she still hadn’t said she wanted to try it all with him.
He pushed back temper that tried clawing its way through his heart and into his throat. The thought of Mollie having sex with another man made him want to lash out, to throw something, punch something, but he consoled himself with the thought that he could control this.
He thought of the conversation he’d had that afternoon with the guy from the escort agency. He’d spent the best part of a sleepless night working out the logistics, the consequences, of what he’d planned to do. He’d looked at it every which way and his decision was the only path through this damned mess.
“Do you trust me, Mol?”
“Of course. There’s nobody I trust more.”
She kissed him, taking control of the kiss in a way she’d never done before. Declan had the disconcerting feeling that this new Mollie was a woman who, if he wasn’t careful, could slip through his fingers and leave him mourning the chance he wasn’t brave enough to take.
He thought of the guy again, of the three of them in the hotel room he’d booked for the following night. Every instinct warned him not to follow through, but love conquered those instincts. He’d do anything to make his girl happy. And if that meant bringing another guy into the mix, then Declan knew he had no option. The alternative was to let her take matters into her own hands, and God alone knew where that would lead.
Since the kiss rapidly morphed into Mollie straddling him and taking him into her mouth, Declan knew that further conversation would have to wait. Since he’d already set up events for the following night, all he had to do was get Mollie to that hotel room.
Then they would sail into uncharted waters. All he could hope was that, when it was over, he’d be able to navigate them both back to dry land.