Chapter Thirty-Six
Chloe awoke to the sound of whispering. She was home. She felt it in her tired bones before she even opened her eyes. Home.
Blinking at the familiar yellow ceiling of her bedroom, she focused on what was being said, but her head was foggy from all the painkillers. Trenton whispered and a woman’s voice she didn’t recognize answered him softly.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
She grimaced, knowing she wasn’t even passing for attractive. Swallowing, she winced, the movement still a little painful.
“Here, have some water.” Trenton held a glass with a straw to her lips.
His eyes had dark shadows and his jaw needed a shave. She sipped, scrutinizing him. “Did you … sleep?”
“I’m fine. Do you need anything? Are you in pain?”
“Bathroom.” Her throat was unbelievably sore.
The woman at the door stepped forward. “Chloe, my name’s Sue. I’m your nurse for the next week. I’m here to check on your injuries, show you some physical therapy exercises, and help in any way I can. What do you say I help you to the bathroom and from there we get you cleaned up? How does a bath sound?”
Her eyes closed on a long blink. “Divine.”
Trent reached to lift her, but Sue placed a staying hand on his shoulder. Chloe almost laughed at the threatening look he shot the nurse.
“Mr. Cole, she needs to use her muscles in order to heal. Let’s give Chloe a chance to sit up and try to walk on her own?”
“She has a fracture—”
“Yes, and she also has a crutch. Chloe, do you think you can pull yourself up?” She held out an arm and Chloe struggled to rise but made it. “Good. Want to try walking to the bathroom?”
Nodding stiffly, she slid her legs to the side of the bed. Trenton gently adjusted the crutch under her arm as Sue helped her find her balance.
“Careful of your ribs,” he warned.
He followed as she slowly hobbled to the bathroom. At the doorway, she avoided her reflection, awkwardly shuffling the crutch out of the way as Sue helped her lower herself onto the toilet seat. By the time she was seated she was sweating and out of breath.
Trenton closed the door, giving them privacy and Sue started the tub. “Would you like me to add some of this?” She held up a bottle of sun ripened raspberry bubble bath.
Chloe frowned, unsure of where the bottle came from. “That’s not mine.”
Sue uncapped the bottle and shrugged. “It smells nice.” She dumped the pink liquid into the bath and the room filled with a familiar scent of berries.
Once the tub was full, the nurse helped her undress. Still sitting on the toilet, Chloe’s gaze dropped to her legs. Her skin was hideous. Her face was a mess. Her ankle was fractured, as were her ribs, and her limbs were incredibly weak. It was all suddenly too much to bear and she shook as tears fell down her face.
“Shh, it’s okay. We’ll take it slow.” The nurse wrapped a clear plastic bag around her foot. After Sue helped to lower her into the warm water and made a pillow of soft towels for her foot, she shut her eyes and let the heat soothe her aching body.
Sue filled a pitcher with warm water. The gentle cascade trickled down her back, wetting her hair, as the nurse carefully protected her eyes, massaging shampoo into her sore scalp. “You’re doing great.”
Sue repeated the process with conditioner. It had been so long since she’d bathed properly and felt clean. She lathered up a soft brush, the kind the hospital gave new mothers for their newborns, and gently washed her skin.
“You’ll be back to feeling like your regular self again in no time.”
“I don’t know if that’ll ever happen.”
“Sure, it will. Your friends told me how strong you are. They all believe in you. What do you say we take this old nail polish off while you soak?”
She looked at her chipped nails and grimaced. She was a disaster.
Sue stood and opened the medicine cabinet. “Exactly where I keep mine. Let me guess, the cotton balls are under the sink.” She bent and retrieved the cotton balls with a smile.
Chloe silently watched as the woman swabbed away her old nail polish, and cleaned the grit from under her nails. Using a file, she smoothed out the jagged edges. By the time the water had chilled, she felt like a new woman. She was clean, shampooed, and ready for a painkiller and a nap.
Requesting Trenton wait in the other room, Sue helped her slip into a nightgown and tucked her into bed. “Is there anything else I can do before I go?”
The woman was such an angel Chloe found herself searching for wings and a halo. “You know that big man hovering around here?”
“Mr. Cole?”
“Please tell him to get some sleep.”
“I’ll try, but I’m not sure he’ll listen to me. He seems set on keeping an eye on you. Why don’t you ask him to come take a nap with you?”
The thought chilled her blood and she looked away. “I…”
“I’m sorry. I’ll give him your message before I go. Try to rest and keep that foot elevated.”
“Thank you.”
* * * *
After the nurse left, Trenton went to check on Chloe. Her entire room smelled like raspberries. He was glad she’d found the bubble bath he’d asked Tommy to pick up for her.
She was sound asleep so he quietly refilled her glass with fresh water, pausing when her eyes opened.
“Sleep,” she whispered.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No. You sleep.”
“I’m okay. I was going to heat up some oatmeal or would you rather wait until after your nap?”
“Not hungry.”
He wanted to lay with her but wasn’t sure he was invited. “I’ll let you rest.”
“Trenton…”
He paused at the door, his heart flipping at the hope that she’d let him stay. “Yeah?”
“Leave the door open.”
Nodding, he pushed the door and quietly left.
* * * *
Trent smelled popcorn as he awoke on the couch.
“That was the summer of 1963 - when everybody called me Baby, and it didn't occur to me to mind…”
Someone sighed. “I love this movie.”
“Me too.” Chloe rasped. “I can’t believe he died.”
“I know. Tragic. Jennifer Grey should’ve never changed her nose. Also tragic.”
At the sound of Chloe’s laugh, Trent’s eyes opened. How long had she been awake? He shoved off the couch and headed to her room.
Tommy, propped up in the bed beside Chloe, glanced at him and smiled. “Morning, poodle. You snore.”
He scowled. “You're getting popcorn on the bed.”
“Ooh, and grumpy when you wake up.” Tommy turned back to Chloe and said, “Remember in the eighties when they had the TV series Dirty Dancing?”
She laughed again. “Do you? You were, what, five?”
“Six. I remember it. I thought Charlie Stratton was hawt. I think that was the first time it occurred to me that I was gay. Well, that and how much I enjoyed decorating my Nana’s dollhouse with miniatures.”
She was sitting up, snuggled close to Tommy, another bowl of popcorn on her lap. He was supposed to make her something to eat—something that passed for nutrition. He would’ve given her actual food, not junk.
“Did you have lunch?” The sun was fading outside the window.
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“You should try to eat something more than popcorn.”
Her eyes focused on the television as she nibbled a kernel. “This is fine.”
“Chloe, you have to eat if you want your strength—”
“I said this is fine.” The room chilled and she gasped and covered her mouth. “I’m sorry, Trenton. I don’t know why I snapped.”
Maybe he was making too much out of nothing. “It’s okay.” Ignoring the tightness in his chest, he said, “You guys enjoy your movie.” He should be happy she was enjoying herself at all, even if he wasn’t included.
No one objected as he left the room.
* * * *
“Your face looks a hundred times better today. Pretty soon you’ll be able to cover up the last of the marks with just a dab of concealer.” Sue stretched and flexed Chloe’s wrist as they chatted on her bed.
“I miss makeup.”
“So wear some.”
“What’s the point? I’d like to wear my lipstick, but I can’t find it.”
“I’ll look for it when we’re done here. If I can’t find it I’ll stop at the store on the way over tomorrow and pick some up for you. What brand do you like?”
Trent stepped away from the door, envy burning a hole in the pit of his stomach. Chloe was doing great. She often smiled and sometimes laughed, but never with him. She seemed happiest with Tommy or Sue or when speaking on the phone with her sons.
Adam didn’t seem to mind that they were the odd men out. Maybe Adam didn’t feel left out. But Trent did. He wanted to make her smile. He wanted to sit close to her. It had been days since she let him touch her. When he reached for her hand, she tensed and he always drew back. He didn’t understand why she seemed to be avoiding his contact when she didn’t seem to mind anyone else’s.
When Sue arrived the next day Chloe immediately perked up. “Look what I got,” the nurse cheered as she walked into Chloe’s room, holding a bag from the drug store. She pulled out a small black tube.
“My lipstick!” Chloe smiled.
His hand went to his pocket, his fingers brushing the tube he’d been carrying for days. He should’ve given it back to her, but he’d grown so used to touching it in his pocket, he couldn’t bear to let it go.
After Sue left, he brought Chloe lunch. She wasn’t in bed. The bathroom door was cracked, light showing from the inside. The clatter of her crutch hitting the tile floor brought him rushing to the door. “Chloe—”
“Get out!”
She was sitting on the toilet, but not indecent. Her nightgown covered her thighs. He quickly bent for the crutch. “You should have—”
“I said, get out!”
Startled by her self-consciousness, he shut the door. Adam stood behind him holding a basket of laundry.
“Is she all right?”
Trent shook his head. “Tell her I’m running to the store. Text me if she needs anything.”
* * * *
Trent was selfishly relieved it was Sue’s last day. He knew the nurse did a wonderful job restoring Chloe’s confidence, but he wanted to be the one to do that. He wanted to take care of her. When she finally left, Chloe cried, and he felt terrible for wanting the nurse to go.
Trent went to comfort her, but, again, she shouldered away his touch. He tried not to panic at the gaping distance building between them. Now that she was more lucid, taking her pain meds less and less, she probably resented him for not being the hero she’d thought he was—if she even remembered saying such things.
Entering Dayton’s room, he shut the door. He’d been sleeping in the small bed, finding it slightly more comfortable than the couch. But tomorrow the boys were coming home and that left him wondering if it was back to the couch or back to his empty home. He didn’t like the thought of leaving her when things still felt awkward between them.
He’d been there for days but never found the right time to address his worries. The last thing he wanted to do was put more on her shoulders, so he kept his mouth shut and tried to be there when she needed something. But she definitely didn’t seem to need him.
Needing some air, he headed out back and walked to face the trees at the edge of the property. He gripped his temples, palm over the bridge of his nose as tears of frustration burned his eyes.
“Hey.”
Sucking back his emotions, he quickly blotted his eyes and turned to find Adam. “Hey.”
“You okay?”
“Sure.”
The man studied him. “No one’s going to judge you for falling apart, Trenton.”
He swallowed. He needed to stay strong for her. “I’m good.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“What’s there to say?”
“Plenty.”
Trent’s shoulders sagged. “I feel like I can’t reach her. Every time I try to comfort her, she pulls away.”
Adam took a few steps closer. “You know, when we first moved here, Chloe never let anyone touch her other than the boys. It took years for her to actually hug us. At first, we thought it was because we were gay, but then we sort of figured it out.”
“I can’t make it years without being able to hold her hand. She lets Tommy sit with her and—”
“Tommy only wants to sit with her. Maybe she’s afraid that won’t be enough for you.”
His gaze met Adam’s. “I just want to be there for her.”
“Then be patient. She’ll come around.”
He nodded, knowing the man was right. “She has nightmares.”
“I’m not surprised.”
Last night he’d heard her crying. She’d been sleeping with the lights on and he brought her a glass of water and a pill for the pain, but she didn’t want the medicine. “She hasn’t talked about what happened.”
“And she might never talk about it. We can’t force her.”
“I’m not even sure she wants me here.” Adam was silent and he worried he knew something Trent didn’t. “Has she said anything to you?”
“She misses the boys. She won’t be herself until they get here. Even then it might take a while for her to find normal again.”
The question was, was he a part of that normal?
* * * *
The day the boys returned home, Trenton understood how deeply she’d missed them. Chloe gathered them into her arms, kissing their heads as she cried. Her love for her children was so pure and profound it moved him in ways nothing else could. As an outsider looking in, it became a palpable truth how much she would endure to save them from the slightest danger, and his heart ached for the lengths she must have gone to see they were, for the most part, unharmed by Marcus Hunt.
As their young voices filled the house, so did tons of other visitors. People were constantly coming and going, wishing Chloe a fast recovery.
Some discoloration remained around her eyes and she still had her foot in a boot, but Trenton had no clue how the rest of her body was faring. He made sure she was eating three square meals a day, drinking plenty of fluids, taking her antibiotics, and resting. If she needed anything from the store he was her go-to guy. Adam kept the house tidy and Tommy was there to entertain her with the boys.
Once she started getting around easier, she moved from her bedroom to the living room where she’d sit with visitors throughout the day. Eventually, she began attempting more of her regular tasks, getting frustrated whenever he offered to do something for her.
She wanted to be the one to make Mattie his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so she could cut the crust just right. She also wanted to play video games with Dayton and sit outside in the sun, watching the boys while they kicked the soccer ball around.
She savored her time with her sons and decided they wouldn’t be returning to school that year, as there were only a handful of days left. Trenton visited their teachers and collected work for the summer so they didn’t start the following year behind. The school was very understanding of the family’s circumstances.
As the days passed, the distance between them continued to grow. She no longer looked him in the eye and was often short and snippy when she spoke to him at all. They rarely talked, and when he asked her a question her answers were always matter of fact.
He frequently caught himself massaging his chest where an ache had formed. He never thought a breaking heart could actually cause physical pain, but he believed different now. The more he accepted he’d worn out his welcome, the harder the ache was to ignore.
He would always love her. He loved her then. He loved her now. Hell, he might have even loved her six years ago when he watched her straighten her shoulders and use her last dollar to call her boys. But he wasn’t sure if she’d ever love him.
She knew the words and said them often to others, but never once uttered them to him. He tried not to let it bother him. He had said from the beginning, if she was home safe that was all that mattered. He just never expected her shutting him out to hurt this bad.
It became apparent she no longer needed him there when she had so many other people by her side. Any one of the guys could run to the store or cut her grass. Although she couldn’t carry laundry down to the basement, she still did the folding. She couldn’t vacuum, but she swept. Her determination to find her independence again was remarkable, but the more she recovered the less reason he had to stay. Perhaps she was waiting for him to leave.
He began searching the house for things to fix so he could keep himself busy when she had visitors. Wrapping up the fix he was making to Mattie’s door, he collected his tools and followed the sound of voices into the den, for once grateful to see a recognizable face smiling back at him.
Jade grinned and held out her arms. “Trenton!” She gave him a hug and he sighed, needing it more than anyone realized.
“Hey, scrappy.”
The man with her turned and Trent did a double take. Apparently, Nathan Lithe was the lawyer handling the paperwork for Marcus’s estate, Jade explained. Another decision he hadn’t been a part of.
He shook the man’s hand. “Good to see you again.”
“Once again I wish it was under better circumstances.” The conversation halted and Nathan glanced expectantly at Chloe. When no one said anything, Lithe asked, “Is there a private place we can talk, Dr. Wolfe?”
Trent frowned when she glanced up at him and quickly looked away. “I guess I’ll just put my tools in the truck.”
He walked out and let the screen door snap shut behind him. Apparently, he wasn’t welcome to sit in on such private matters. Rather than go back inside he sat on the porch steps.
The door opened and Jade shuffled out. Leaning her hand on his shoulder, she plopped down beside him and sighed. Her short legs stretched and a flip-flop fell off.
“That’s gonna be a bitch picking that back up.”
Trent reached down and retrieved the tiny sandal, handing it to her.
“Thanks. You okay, big guy?”
“As good as can be expected.”
“Hmm. That good?”
“That good.”
She gave him a shoulder bump. “Wanna talk about it?”
Everyone kept asking him to talk, but he had no idea what to say, so he sighed. “I think Chloe wants me to leave.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Everything’s different now. I can’t figure out where my place is in all this.”
“Where do you want your place to be?”
“I love her. I wanna be with her. I’m doing my best to fix this.”
“Some things can’t be fixed, Trent.”
That’s what he was afraid of. He had a reoccurring nightmare where he was back at that house and Chloe was by the door, but he was too late. She’s already gone when he got there. How was it he’d returned her home and still somehow felt like he lost her?
“Tell me it gets better over time, Jade. I need something to hold onto.”
Her hands rested on her belly, smoothing down the fabric of her sundress. “It gets…” She tipped her head as if trying to find the right word. “There’s no universal definition of normal, but eventually you find balance again. Trauma affects everyone differently. I can’t remember who I was before last August. I mean, I remember what I did, but I can’t remember how my mind processed things. I may look the same, but I’m totally different on the inside.”
He looked down at her belly, an affectionate smile curving his lips. “You look a little different with that bean in the belly.”
She smiled. “Two beans.”
He raised a brow. “No shit?”
“I shit you not.”
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a brotherly hug. “Two beans. God love ya.”
“She’ll come around, Trent. One thing Chloe taught me was that everything’s a process. It just takes time.”
His mom used to say to him a watched pot never boiled. “Maybe I’ll take a job.”
“That might be a good idea. She’s not going anywhere. It’ll be a good distraction to get away.”
Since January, he’d spent almost every waking minute thinking about Chloe. Distance wasn’t going to stop that. The ache in his chest tightened. “What if we’re over?”
Jade looked up at him and gave a sad smile. “I wish I could make you promises.”
“I know you can’t. No one can.”
“I don’t think she’d resent you for leaving. The space might do both of you good. Sometimes we need a little distance to see the whole picture.”
He nodded, already mentally collecting his belongings and trying to picture that goodbye. “Just promise me… If she asks for me…”
“I promise I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks.”