CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Saturday, May 26th
Daphne walked across the courtyard toward her apartment and wondered if she was going to run into her sister. She had been living with Bryce for the last month and only stopped by her place to pick up clothes and had never run into Selah.
A breeze blew across the flagstone, and the scent of flowers wafted across the breeze, and she wondered when she was going to break through the depression that was her constant companion.
The world had been washed of color since she returned from the hospital, and all she’d managed to do was exist. All her natural optimism was nowhere to be found and her weekly therapy sessions didn’t seem to be helping.
As she slid the key into the lock, she took a deep breath and didn’t let the terror take hold. Standing straight, she threw her shoulders back and pushed the door open and noticed immediately that the apartment smelled clean. She looked around and noticed her sister’s usual clutter was absent.
She closed the door, locked it and then walked into the kitchen. There were no dishes in the sink and the counter was clean, so she knew immediately her sister had moved out.
Taking another a deep breath, she walked into the bedroom and saw the bed was made, and so she opened the closet and saw that her sister’s clothes were gone. She collapsed on the bed and fell back and stared at the ceiling.
Was there an appropriate emotion to feel when your sister vacated your life?
Apparently not, because she didn’t feel anything.
Maybe all the years of worrying and trying with Selah had worn her out, and she had nothing left or the antidepressant she was taking was not allowing any of the more powerful emotions through.
She was in a gray space of feeling and the only time she felt anything remotely real was when she and Bryce were intimate. The rest of the time, she felt very little, and her therapist told that was normal considering the trauma she’d experienced. It was apparently an adaptation the mind made when it couldn’t handle more, and she wondered if she’d ever feel like her old self.
Rolling her head over, she studied a picture of her and Selah that was taken when she graduated college and wondered if there was any hope for them.
Hearing her phone buzz, she hit the speaker icon. “Hello.”
“Honey, are you almost done over there?”
“I haven’t looked through my clothes yet, so I’ll be another fifteen minutes.”
“Frisco and Brooke stopped by, so should we come over there?”
“Just send Brooke, so she can help me pick out something to wear to the party.”
“Roger that.”
She hit the button to end the call and then stood up. There was a fundraiser at the Del Mar Country Club for the SEALs and their families. Bryce’s platoon had been invited by the organizers and she had to wear something dressy.
Hauling herself off the bed, she walked to the front door and opened it. Bryce waved to her across the courtyard and she blew him a kiss as she watched Brooke walk in her direction.
“Hey, girl, you ready to give me some fashion advice?”
“That could be dangerous because I don’t have any,” Brooke replied as she gave her a hug.
“You probably have more than me.” Hearing a whistle, she looked up and saw Frisco and Bryce standing together with their arms crossed. Bryce pantomimed locking the door and she gave him a thumbs up. “He thinks that he has to remind me to lock the door.”
“It’s their nature to be paranoid and overprotective, and I’ve found it’s best to let them do their thing.”
“That’s a very healthy attitude.”
Brooke snorted and walked into the apartment. “My dad was a SEAL and commanded the Teams before retiring. Frisco is not the first crazy man I’ve dealt with.”
“Bryce has taken it to a whole new level since I came home and only lets me out of his sight when I’m on the base. The rest of the time, he’s my shadow.”
“And how is the recovery process going?”
Daphne studied Brooke for a moment before she responded and knew she was asking out of genuine concern. They had been building their friendship since they met, and she knew that Brooke had nothing but good intentions. So, she had shared a lot with her over the last month, and the fact that she had a lot of experience dealing with women who’d been traumatized from her work with MSF made her a good listener.
“It’s slow going and I sometimes wonder if I’m ever going to put this completely behind me.”
“You’re a strong person and the fact that you’re working so hard to get on the other side of the trauma means you will. I’ve seen people live through horror without much to look forward to and go on to live a productive life. The human mind and heart are so much more resilient than we understand and sometimes the best we can do is hang on long enough to see a break in the clouds.”
“I know and, for some reason, I’m having a hard time remembering this time.”
“You’ve gone through hell and the fact that you and your sister are having a hard time is probably making it worse.”
“You’re right, of course. I always thought I could save my sister and knowing that’s not possible has made me sadder than I thought possible.”
“I think accepting the truth of things is sometimes the toughest thing we can do. I’ve discovered that letting go of what I want and accepting the situation is often the hardest. I had to learn the lesson again and again when I was with MSF because I couldn’t stand being helpless.”
“My therapist keeps reminding me that sometimes smiling is the greatest act of defiance and sometimes asking for help is the most meaningful example of self-reliance.”
“That’s some damn fine advice, and I’ve also found it’s valuable to remember that sometimes the greatest wisdom comes from accepting that you may never know why.”
“Word.”
Brooke draped her arm over Daphne’s shoulder and gave her a squeeze. “Let’s find something in that closet of yours, so you can make Bryce lose the power of speech.”
Letting out a chuckle, she shook her head. “Pretty sure there is nothing in there that will make that possible.”
“I’m betting all you have to do is smile in his direction.”
“Naked.”
“Yeah, that works with Frisco too.”
They walked into the bedroom and she felt better than she had all week. “Thank you, Brooke.”
“For what?”
“Being a friend. I don’t have a lot of them and I’m really grateful you and I have become friends.”
“Back at you. I’m guessing by the end of tonight, you’re going to have a bunch more because you’ll have a chance to meet all the SEAL wives and girlfriends. They are terrific and I’ve become close to a bunch of them.”
She pulled the dresses out of her closet that were options and set them on the bed and stood back. “You’ll have to introduce me to them because I’m sure going to need them when Bryce is deployed next month.”
“Absolutely.”
As she watched Brooke go through the dresses, she knew all she had to do was put one foot in front of the other until she got to the other side. Because there was no way she was going to let what happened in this apartment affect her for very much longer.
There was too much good waiting for her to do otherwise.
***
Bryce stood on the balcony of the Del Mar Country Club and kept his eye on Daphne as she stood with the wives. The fact that she had a smile on her face and her shoulders were relaxed was no small miracle in his estimation.
The last month had been rough and he suspected they had quite a few more to go before she got through the worst of it. He took a slug of his beer and saw Frisco walk in his direction along with Chris ‘Iceman’ Ellis. He didn’t know Chris well but knew he was a legend on the Teams. “Hey.”
Frisco slapped him on the back and tilted his head in the direction of the women. “Keeping watch?”
“Yeah, I like to have her in my sights.”
“Know the feeling,” Chris said as he stared at the one with curly hair. “I like to have Rach within a hand’s span, but she told me I couldn’t hover tonight, so here I am.”
Frisco shook his head and gave Chris a side eye. “You know shit is bad when I’m the most reasonable one in the group.”
Bryce glanced at Frisco and shrugged. “What happened last month has made me ten times worse and, according to Daphne, it’s bordering on crazy.”
“What happened?” Chris asked.
Frisco elbowed him and nodded. “Chris went through something similar with Rachel. She was abducted by an ex-boyfriend and beat to shit.”
Bryce looked at one of the most lethal men on the Teams and knew that if he kept his sanity through that, then he could too. “Daphne was assaulted by her sister’s lover in her apartment. As god awful as it was, it wasn’t the first time. She was sexually assaulted when she was thirteen, too.”
“Fuck,” Chris said quietly.
“How’s she doing?” Frisco asked.
“The outside is fine, but she’s crumbling on the inside.”
“When Rachel was taken and assaulted, we lost a baby, and it took a ton of work for her to get on the other side of it. She developed agoraphobia and didn’t leave the house for a couple of months. We worked with a great therapist and she made a huge difference.”
“Daphne is working with someone she likes over at the medical center. She’s in Navy Intelligence, so she’s got access to all the docs over there.”
“Don’t let her stop until she goes through the whole process.”
“Roger that.”
“You ever want to grab a beer or something, give me a call. This shit isn’t easy, and since none of us are any good at sitting on the sidelines and doing nothing, it’s like torture. I wanted to fix it for Rach and that wasn’t possible, so I listened and didn’t push.”
“Yeah, the more I try and do, the more she moves away.”
“Hovering and shit is never appreciated and I, for one, think that should change.”
“Exactly,” Bryce replied loudly.
Frisco raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You two are dreamin’ because that’s never going to happen.”
Chris slapped Frisco on the back and snorted. “You don’t let Brooke go to the market alone, so why are you acting like you’re normal?”
“I am normal, and the only reason I go to the store with her is because there are a lot of assholes who try and talk to her and I need to make sure that shit doesn’t happen.”
Bryce noticed the ladies were moving their direction and decided not to say more. “Here they come.”
“Act cool,” Frisco instructed.
“Not an act for me,” Chris replied.
Bryce snorted and then pasted a smile on his face as Daphne approached. Knowing someone he respected the hell out of made it through an experience similar to what he and Daphne were going through gave him a boost of confidence.
Watching his beautiful girl walk directly into his open arms gave him a happiness he never wanted to take for granted. The scent of her soft hair surrounded him as her curves pressed against his body, and he knew there was no better place in the world. “Hey, pretty mama, you havin’ fun?”
Pulling her face away from his chest, she gave him a smile that reminded him a lot of the one she blessed him with on their first date. “Looks like you had fun chattin’ with the ladies.”
“I did. Rachel invited us over for a bar-b-que next weekend.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“I know, I’m dying to meet their little boy. According to Rachel, he’s exactly like his daddy.”
“God bless her for taking the man on and bearing his children.”
Letting out a laugh, she stepped away. “What does that mean?”
“Chris ‘Iceman’ Ellis is legendary on the Teams, for not only his physical capabilities but his sheer tenacity and stubbornness. Guys used to say there was no man meaner or more determined.”
“Rachel described him as the sweetest, kindest, most patient man there ever was.”
Sliding his gaze over to Rachel Ellis, he noticed she was no more than 5’3’’ and less than a third of her husband’s size. But the way Chris was looking at her told anyone who was lookin’ that she was the one in charge of her husband. “Maybe she has the magic touch.”
“Maybe.”
He lifted her chin and gave her a quick kiss. “You have the magic touch with me because there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you.”
Lacing their fingers together, she gave him a small smile. “The same is true for me and…”
He tugged her away from the group and leaned against the wall that separated them from the golf course. “What?”
“I just want you to know that I’m doing my best to put myself back together. I’m not always going to be this broken thing and…”
“You are perfect, just as you are, and there is nothing broken about you.” He encircled her in his arms and rested his head against hers. “You don’t have to do a thing because I love you just as you are.”
“But…”
“No!”
“Bryce…”
“Daphne, we are just fine and there is nothing that needs to be fixed.” Just as he was going to say more, he heard his name and looked over his shoulder and saw Frisco giving him the signal. “Looks like we have to go in and mingle with the crowd.”
She smoothed out his dress blues and nodded. “It’s time to sing for your supper. You and the guys are the show tonight, so go on and regale all those fat cats with some decent stories and they’ll be sure to open their wallets.”
He ran his finger along her cheek and then grinned. “I guess I’ve got my orders.”
“Maybe, I’ll have a few more when we get home.”
“A man can dream.”
She straightened his tie and nodded. “You go on and show those folks inside the best of the Navy.”
“If I’m going to do that, then I’ll need you on my arm.”
She looped her arm through his and smiled. “Let’s go then and show those people what their tax dollars are doing.”
“Nothing better for PR than a young Navy couple.” He led her inside and knew that the brotherhood that supported him was just as strong as the women who were going to support Daphne. It wasn’t a fluke that Rachel invited them for a visit and he knew that Daphne was going to have a whole group of women to rely on, not only when he was deployed, but for most everything else that came along in life.
He looked down at his beautiful girl and knew they had a whole lifetime of happiness ahead of them. All they had to do was keep walking toward it.
One step at a time.