CHAPTER 11
Kade dipped his head to let the hot water run over his hair, down his neck and over his shoulders. The pounding stream pulsed into his muscles like the head of a vibrating massager. He wanted to lose himself in the sensation. Just like the old Calgon-take-me-away ads he wanted the shower to be a portal to take him far, far away from the knowledge that he couldn’t escape from. The knowledge that was tormenting him night and day.
He was still in love with Ali. Actually, screw still in love. He was more in love with her than ever. Fuck. His life would be so much simpler if he could just see her the way he used to see her. As his best friend’s sassy, little sister.
Being back in Whisper Lake was quickly showing him that Ali was his life. He felt like he was alive for the first time in a long time. He was a shell of a man without her, and that was no way to live.
But holy shit, he wasn’t finding living with her to be a whole hell of a lot easier. She was just so damn tempting. So damn sexy. So damn perfect.
Watching Ali today at the barbeque had been torture. He closed his eyes and let the water wash over his face as images flooded his brain. Her cute little ass in her jean shorts. It was so distracting that he’d burnt half a dozen burgers and dogs. Her lean, tan legs had skin so smooth it was practically begging him to run his hands over it and every time he was near her he had to restrain himself from doing just that. She might be thinner than she used to be, but she still had curves that could stop his heart. Her hourglass shape displayed by her soft cotton T-shirt and denim shorts had inspired several heart-stopping moments today.
Her frame was still on the thin side but that only served to ignite his fierce desire to make up for his past wrongs and make sure she never had to face anything alone again. But the knowledge that he’d contributed to her pain was gnawing at him.
He’d been a mess, and he’d done what he felt he needed to do. He could rationalize that a million different ways. But his feelings for Ali weren’t rational. They sprang from a primal, primitive place deep inside of him that had him wanting to toss her over his shoulder and drag her into the nearest cave.
He closed his eyes trying to block out his base instincts but it backfired. He wanted to put her out of his mind but instead she filled it.
A flash of the small sliver of her flat belly he’d glimpsed when she’d reached above the fridge to grab the chip bowl played in his head. He pictured himself doing what he’d been unable to do in real life: he stalked across the kitchen, spun her around to face him, dropped to his knees, and began planting kisses along that band of smooth skin. He imagined the way she would shiver when he touched her. He felt the vibration of her trembling under his fingers and lips.
His body responded as if it were actually happening and his erection throbbed heavily between his legs. He figured he might as well drive that train all the way into the station.
He reached down and wrapped his fingers around his pulsing shaft and gripped himself hard as he stroked up and down with firm pressure. With each pass, his movements grew faster, ramping up his level of arousal. He pressed his other palm flat against the wet tile to brace himself, his balance growing unsteady as his head swam with swirling lust. There was no cure for the fever that infected him. Ali had gotten under his skin and invaded his whole system and there was nothing he could do about that except to try and take it one day at a time.
The closer he came to blowing his load, the faster the images flashed through his brain. Except now they weren’t just snapshots from today. Now, they were snippets of fantasy, projected onto the back of his closed eyelids as he jerked himself. It was the sexiest movie he’d ever seen.
Ali was on her knees in front of him, her lips wrapped firmly around his engorged tip. He disappeared into the wet recesses of her mouth as she sucked him off, her eyes staring up at him the entire time.
Then she was totally naked, lying back on a bed, offering her breasts to him as her arms stretched out to welcome him into her embrace.
His face buried in her neck as he drove himself into her again and again, his dick buried in her tight wetness, their bare skin creating a friction that could set the world on fire.
Then he was spreading her legs with his hands and covering her sex with his mouth, lapping up her sweet juices as she begged him to keep licking her.
He could only surrender to the overwhelming sensations that these images sent flooding through him. He let his imagination run away and fill in the details—the look on her face, the sound of her whimpers, the flush that spread across her chest as he licked her sex. Then, the taste of her sweet arousal as she came on his mouth and the feel of her body convulsing as she cried out his name.
That finally sent him over the edge. He couldn’t hold back any longer at the vision of her face, flushed with ecstasy and screaming his name. It was just too much.
His entire body shuddered in pleasure as he unleashed his orgasm into the flow of hot water. His stomach clenched in aftershocks as he watched the evidence of his release wash down the drain. As his heart began to slow and his breathing returned to normal, he tried to put the entire episode out of his mind and quickly washed his body and his hair and then shut off the water.
He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist and did his best to push down the shitty feeling he had in the aftermath of jerking off to Ali. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. He’d learned a long time ago that fighting his desire for her was a practice in futility.
Still, it felt worse doing it here. In her house. In Patrick’s house.
He seriously needed to get a grip on himself, at least until he found a place to live. Ethan had mentioned that Kennedy Dawes was a realtor now. As one of his ex-girlfriends, Kennedy was also on his list of people he needed to make amends with. His drinking had played a large role in breaking them up and made him treat her ways he never would’ve otherwise.
Kade wasn’t sure how he could possibly apologize for how much of an asshole he’d been to Kennedy, but he figured admitting that he had been and saying he was sorry was a good start. His mind was busy rehearsing what he’d say when he opened the door of the bathroom, stepped into the hall, and ran smack into Ali.
His left arm automatically snaked around her lower back, steadying her as she started to stumble backward and his right hand wrapped around her upper arm. Her hands ended up clutching his chest like a cat hanging on a screen door.
Their bodies were plastered against one another and Kade could feel the swell of her soft breasts pressing against the hard planes of his abdomen. She had changed into her pajamas which meant she was wearing a baggy cartoon T-shirt and cutoff sweats. Her hair was wet, telling him that she’d also just taken a shower and his mind filled with images of her naked body, dripping wet.
“Sorry.” Her voice was barely a whisper as she started to push away.
When she did, he became painfully aware of two things. First, he was sporting a fairly significant hard on. And second, the collision had caused his towel to come loose and their current position was the only thing keeping it up.
“Wait.” He tightened his grip around her.
His efforts caused her to gasp as she looked up at him with wide, trusting eyes that made his heart clench. He watched as a pink flush rose from her chest to her high cheekbones. Their breaths were shallow and their stare locked as they fell into an electrifying silence. Between the sensation of their chests moving up and down against one another and her sweet curves molding against him his dick was swollen, steel hard, and pulsing painfully.
Kade knew that the right thing to do would be to release her arm, secure his towel, and hightail it to his room. Unfortunately, he wasn’t really known for doing the right thing, especially when wrong felt this good. He couldn’t bring himself to let her go. He needed one more moment, one more second, of this intimate contact.
He swallowed over a lump that had formed in his throat as he rasped, “My towel slipped and if you move back, you’re going to see a lot more of me than you bargained for.”
“A lot, huh?” A shy grin lifted on her cherry lips as her fingers tightened ever so subtly, her nails dug into his skin as her body rocked into him and the sensation shot straight to his cock. His balls tightened against his body as his erection strained against the terrycloth barrier. “I would make a joke about your ego, but in this case, I can feel that your big head is justified.”
Fuck. He inwardly groaned as he forced himself to release his hold on her and grab his towel as he took a step back from her. If he’d held her for even a second more, he would’ve lowered his head and covered her pretty little mouth with his.
When he let her go, she stumbled back and used the wall behind her to steady herself. He was about to apologize for his abrupt behavior when he saw her eyes fly down to the towel tent he was rocking and she licked her lips. He was sure it was just a nervous gesture and not meant to entice him even more, but that’s exactly what it did.
“Aunt Ali!” KJ’s voice carried up from downstairs.
Kade watched as Ali blinked and looked up at him, her whiskey-colored stare clouded with what he hoped was lust and not embarrassment.
“Can we ride down to the lake? We’ll be back by midnight.”
That snapped her out of whatever haze she’d been in. She started shaking her head no as she walked away from Kade and started addressing her nephew. “No, KJ. It’s already after eleven. You know the rules.”
“But it’s my birthday.” He heard the kid plead as she disappeared down the stairs.
“No. Your birthday was two weeks ago. Today was your party, but that doesn’t change the rules.”
Kade wanted to go back her up but they hadn’t really talked about what his role would be and he didn’t want to overstep. Plus, he was still very affected by their encounter.
A thought hit him as he crossed the hallway to the spare room. What if the boys had been upstairs and seen his reaction? If he stayed here any longer, he was afraid it would be inevitable.
He needed to call Kennedy. He needed to get his own place. He needed to stop popping wood like a teenager who’d never seen boobs before.
That last one would be a lot easier said than done if Ali was within a square mile of him. Maybe he would look for a place on the other side of the lake.