Maya
I hated how I was still in tune to him. After all those nights I spent crying my eyes out, after all those days I waited for him to come back, I couldn’t have cut the invisible cord that connected us.
I hated the way my heart beat faster whenever he was close, whenever he looked at me with the same intensity I grew up with.
I hated how I slept without nightmares for the first time in two years with his presence in my room. Being in the same room with him had awakened every memory I had with him, and I craved his proximity. With each passing day, staying indifferent to his existence was an impossible task. Even though I kept a mask on around him, I couldn’t have suppressed or ignored the emotions that stormed inside me. I didn’t even know why I was trying to keep the mask. To punish him or to hide my feelings, so he didn’t leave me again?
Shaking my head, I headed to the kitchen area to have breakfast. He was already seated on the stool, sipping his coffee. I slowed my steps just to stall so I could have more time to watch his features. He was the worst addiction. Drugs would kill you when you took them, but Zeke was killing me just with his existence.
When I sat on the stool opposite him, he looked at me with a demanding gaze.
“You’ll see a therapist today,” he said curtly. His voice didn’t leave any chance to question or protest.
Gritting my teeth, I started to nibble my toast.
“Did you hear me?” he snapped. I knew his patience was wearing thin. I had never ignored him before. We were each other’s satellite, but it seemed like another life now. A life we shared a million years ago.
I lift my eyes to him, glaring at him. I saw the tick on his cheek, it used to amuse me, and he could never stay angry when I kissed that spot. Now, my lips tickled like they remembered how his skin felt under their touch. My fingers itched to touch him, but I did none of it. I just dropped my gaze to my toast and ate it.
Even though I felt the weight of his gaze on me, I chose to ignore it.
“Fuck,” he mutters, and the screeching sound followed his curse when he got off his stool angrily.
I only let myself look at him when he headed for his room with frustration, desperation, and anger dripping from his body.
***
Looking out of the window as we maneuvered through the city, I snorted. The guy who wanted me to feel normal and to have a normal life was now taking me to a shrink to heal my freak mind.
I remembered the time when the only place he wanted me to go was wherever would make me happy, but now we lost that too like we’d lost everything it seemed.
My piggy bank was shattered on the floor in my room, there was no money around. My bed was upside down, the money under the bedding was also missing. I looked around to find my stash, I had to find my money. But there was nothing, I was penniless. All those months of saving, Zeke helped me to do for the school trip to California was gone.
“Mom,” I called out to her, maybe she knew something about it. But there was no answer, only some voices from the bedroom. Knocking on the door, I entered the room, only to see her sitting on her bed surrounded by drug packages.
“Mom,” I breathed out.
She saw me standing there and giggled. “My little girl saved money for her mommy to buy her needs. I found them. You’re a very, very good girl, Maya.” Her voice was in that dreamy state I hated so much. And I couldn’t say anything, there was nothing to say to change the situation. The tears burned my eyes, forcing their ways down to my cheek. I ran outside, sitting on the wooden stairs of the patio and I cried.
I was tired.
I didn’t know how long I stayed there or how long I cried.
And then he came home from work. He ran the rest of the way when he saw me crying and pulled me into his arms before asking what was wrong. “Maya, what happened?”
I told him everything, still crying and wetting his shirt but he didn’t care about his shirt, he only cared about me like he always did. He was always the only person who took care of me, who cared for me, who loved me. I was old enough to look after myself, but around him, I liked being the one who was taken care of.
“Shh, don’t cry. I have money. You’ll go on that trip,” he said with determination. I knew he was earning well, but he was saving it for us to leave this rabbit hole; that was the money he earned from street fights, from his daily job, from selling my mom’s drug stash or one of my father’s stupid collections. That money was from every paying opportunity he jumped right into even if it was illegal or wrong just to get us a new beginning. I couldn’t take that money, that was the free pass, if not for both of us then for him.
“I don’t want to go anymore,” I sobbed and added before he argued, “Just stay with me this Sunday, will you? Don’t work.”
“Maya, you’re fifteen. You deserve to go on that trip. I’ll make it happen,” he insisted, but as I was in his arms spending a day with him instead of going to California with the people I didn’t like sounded so much better.
“I really don’t want to. I don’t like the girls in school, and I don’t even have a bikini to wear in the ocean, and you know I can’t swim,” I listed my reasons, and a small smile appeared on his face. I liked him so much when he smiled, he rarely smiled, and they were only reserved for me, making me feel special.
“Okay then, baby girl. If you’re sure about it, you’ll spend the weekend with me,” he said and kissed my forehead. He always kissed me there, and I used to like it, but lately, I didn’t like it as much as I did. Not since the day, I saw him kiss Mandy on the mouth, the girl I knew he fucked.
Shaking my head, I smiled at him. He made everything better in my life, even though he would never kiss my lips, no matter how much I wanted him to…
I shook my head. I wish I’d never convinced him to kiss my lips, maybe we could’ve talked to each other, maybe we could’ve been close to each other without needing walls to separate us then.
The tears threatened to fall when we stopped in front of a building as posh as his place. I quickly got out of the car, wiping away the tears before following him into the building.
When we reached the office on the twelfth floor, the same luxurious nothingness greeted me. I think being rich meant white, grey, black, and steel as the decor.
A blonde girl with a black pencil skirt and great blouse greeted us. I looked down at my own attire. I looked like a child in sweatpants and sweatshirt I couldn’t have filled with curves or muscles.
“We have an appointment. Maya Wyatt.” Zeke’s voice brought me back to the moment again.
“Oh, yes. Miss Turner has been expecting you,” the blonde said. I didn’t miss the way she looked at Zeke. The ugly face of jealousy showed itself in my stupid heart, but it was also hurting, because of the cruel reality of his new life.
Zeke was good looking. He’d always been, but now in suits and the intimidating aura he was surrounded with he was hard to resist, and I knew he could have anyone he wanted.
Zeke Wyatt may have been the only man I had ever had eyes on, but his world was like an open buffet. He didn’t need a freak like me nor did he have any reason to love me.