Chapter Twenty-Five
Snake
I make myself watch as the blood gushing out of Matt’s head begins to slow down, signaling that the beating of his heart is slowing down too. I’m thankful that he doesn’t look at me when he draws his last breath, right before his eyes fall closed.
The metallic smell of blood, and the smoky aroma of the recently fired gun in my hand make my head spin. Salvatore calmly walks over to the body, checks the pulse, then nods to Bruno. Wearing plastic gloves and a cut up trash bag over his clothes, Bruno slips his arms around Matt’s chest, and heaves him up, dragging him to a plastic lined trunk waiting out back. They’ll probably be dumping Matt’s body out in the desert, where I killed Jake.
Never once have I allowed myself to feel remorse for what I have to do for this job. As a soldier, I’m just carrying out orders. The lives I take aren’t on me.
I can’t say that this time.
I knew Matt was innocent, but I killed him anyway. It was a bloody, senseless thing. But what was the alternative? Admit to Sal that Jess is the one he wants? No way I could do that.
Salvatore stands next to me, and places his hand on my back. “Good work, soldier,” he says.
I look at him briefly. “Yeah.”
“That couldn’t have been easy for you. But you’ve made a lot of us really proud. Come on. Monty wants to see you.”
In a daze, I follow Salvatore to Monty’s office. My heart pounds loudly in my ears. I can feel the blood rushing violently through my veins. In his office, Monty’s watching some kind of sporting event, soccer or something. I’m not sure, because I feel like I’m hurtling out of control through a dark, endless tunnel.
Monty tells us to sit, then holds his hand up to for us to be quiet. When the game is interrupted by a commercial, he turns to us, folding his hands on the desk.
“So, is it done?” he asks.
Salvatore smiles proudly, patting me on the back. “It’s done, Pop.”
“Snake, once again, you’ve proven your loyalty to this family,” Monty says. “I thank you for your service and your protection.”
“Uh-huh.” I nod, numbly.
Monty leans forward, a sly grin cutting into his face. “Although everyone in this room knows, that crackhead ain’t the one who tried to poison me.” Monty laughs loudly. Sal nods with a cold smile.
“What?” I ask. I rub my temples, trying to make this all make sense. “You let me kill Matt when you knew he was innocent?”
Monty leans back, spreading his arms out and cocking his head. “With all the uncertainties these days, I needed to make sure you’d follow my orders, like a true soldier. Would you kill someone close to you for me? You passed the test, in a sense. The question is, who are you protecting, me or her?”
The blood rushing through my veins begins to boil. I grip the arms of the chair, leveling my eyes on Monty. If I had any less self control, I’d pull my gun on him right now.
“You know what you have to do, Snake.”
Salvatore’s calculating voice penetrates my brain. I barely register his hand on my arm.
“Jess has to go,” Sal says. “You have to do it for me, and for the family who took you in off the streets. Okay?”
I contract my stomach muscles, and clench my teeth. “Of course,” I say, nodding. “I’ll do it.”
“Good man,” Salvatore says.
“Bring her to me tonight,” Monty says.
Salvatore regards me. “No, Pop. Let’s let him fuck her one more time. It’s the least we can do.”
The commercials end, and Monty’s game comes back on. He gives us a dismissive wave, and turns back to the television. “Sure, whatever,” he grumbles.
“Bring her in first thing tomorrow morning,” Sal says to me. “And don’t look so grim. You’ll find another piece of ass.”
*
I drive to Jess’ apartment as fast as LA traffic will allow, breaking several laws along the way. Salvatore said I had until morning, but after the stunt he pulled, I don’t trust him for one fucking second. I should be grateful, really. Monty and Salvatore showed me that my loyalty to them, and vice versa, is complete bullshit. After all this time of doing their dirty work, I have no idea how much of it was based on lies. Who else have I killed that was innocent? I can never be sure.
One thing I am sure of is that I won’t let them touch Jess, not one hair on her head. I’ll make sure of that. And I don’t have the shackles of loyalty holding me back.
I peel into the parking lot of Jess’ apartment building, and rush up the stairs. I’m out of breath by the time I get there. The door is locked, so I use my key.
“Jess,” I yell, bursting inside. I don’t see her immediately, so I start looking around. Her bedroom is empty. So is the bathroom.
Where the fuck is she? Have they gotten to her?
I stand in the kitchen and call her phone. I plead with her to pick up. We don’t have any time to waste. While the phone rings in my ear, I hear her ringtone. It’s coming from the couch in the living room.
My stomach drops with dread. There’s her phone, sandwiched between the couch cushions. The screen is lit up, flashing my name.
“Fuck,” I yell, slinging my phone across the room.
I sit on the couch, trying to think. I remember our last conversation. When I rushed out of the apartment, I left her a little pissed. Maybe she went for a walk, and she’ll be back soon.
Or maybe, Salvatore got to her before I did.
I hear the creaking of a door. I whirl around, looking behind me. Jess is emerging from the linen closet in the hallway. I jump up and run towards her, calling her name.
“Jess, we have to get out of here. Pack your bags. Now.”
I stop dead in my tracks when I see the look in her eyes. Her eyes are hollow and vacant. Her jaw is tight. She raises her arm slowly, and I come face to face with my 9mm. I keep my eyes on her, and raise my arms, showing her my palms.
“Jess, put the gun down,” I say evenly. “We need to talk-“
“You killed Jake,” she screams. The gun trembles in her hands. Her finger is poised over the trigger.
“Hey, whoa.” I take a careful step forward. “Where is this coming from?”
“Stay the fuck back,” she warns. “You killed Jake. Don’t try to deny it. I heard everything. Sal said you killed him. And then you went inside and killed your friend.”
My muscles tense. My mind races, trying to figure a way out of this.
“You were there?”
“Yes,” Jess hisses. “I was there. Do you think I’d let you lie to me? I knew that story about Anthony was bullshit. I followed you, and hid in the alley with the dumpsters.”
I nod, raking my fingers through my hair. “If you were there, then you know why I killed Matt. So they wouldn’t kill you.”
Jess raises the gun higher. “Why did Jake have to die?”
“He blew up our construction racket after talking to an LA Times reporter,” I explain, as calmly as I can. “He was a rat. You know the policy with rats. They have to die. It’s how we protect our business. I was just following orders.”
Jess sneers, shaking her head, her breath fierce. “Your precious orders. Your infallible honor. You kill a man you don’t know because Monty tells you to. And that makes you, what, noble?”
I take another step towards her, leveling my gaze at her. “Jake got what was coming to him. He should’ve known better than to fuck with the Mariano’s.”
“You blew half of his head off,” Jess says. “You sewed his lips shut. You’re a monster.”
“You know what this business is like. You’ve seen it. It’s kill or be killed.”
Jess tightens her hands around the gun’s handle. “Which one should I choose?”
I’ve got to admit, the murderous look in her eyes makes my dick hard. Maybe I’m just as attracted to the danger as she is. “You kill me, you kill yourself. Monty and Salvatore know it was you, Jess. I have orders to bring you in.”
“I expect you’ll follow those orders blindly.”
“No. Not this time. And either put that gun down, or shoot me.”
Jess is frozen, the gun in the air. I step forward quickly, until the barrel of the gun is pressing against my chest. I lean down, looking challengingly into her eyes.
“I dare you, Jess,” I growl. “You’ve been wet for revenge the entire time I’ve known you. And I love making you wet.”
We stare at each other, neither of us flinching. I see Jess trying to feel the fire of vengeance. She grits her teeth, trying to unearth it. Eventually, she gives up. She drops the gun, then falls to her knees. I’m not too proud to admit that I’m incredibly relieved.
I crouch down beside her and gather her in my arms. Her body is soft, vulnerable. She presses her face into my chest. I stroke her hair away from her face, and whisper into her ear.
“I’m sorry,” I say, knowing it will never be enough. “If I’d known who he was, and what it would do to you, I wouldn’t have killed him. I’m sorry I ruined your life, Jess.”
Jess tightens her arms around me, and talks softly against my suit jacket. “Maybe Monty’s to blame for my life falling apart. Maybe you are for pulling the trigger. Maybe I am for turning a blind eye. Jake definitely is, but he’s already dead.” She looks up at me, blinking. “If you don’t bring me in, they’ll come for me.”
I hug her protectively. “They’ll come for us. How did you expect this to end, when you first wanted to kill Monty?”
Jess shrugs. “I figured I’d be killed. I didn’t care then. I didn’t have anything to live for.”
“What about now? Do you care if you live or die?”
Jess reaches up and clasps my face. Her eyes fill with tears. She nods.
“What about you?” she says, wiping her tears. “You told me once that you never expect to see the sun rise the next morning, that you don’t care about the risks. Do you care now?”
I clutch the sides of her face, looking deeply into her eyes. “Yes,” I hiss, then lean in and kiss her. Jess clings to me as I slide my tongue into her mouth, kissing her deeply. Once I start, I can’t stop. My hands roam all over her body. I yank her blouse off, then work her skirt up to her hips.
Jess gasps as she lies back on the floor, allowing me to climb on top of her. My need for her is intensified by the fact that I don’t know how much longer we have. This could be our last chance, our last night together.
I hungrily taste her tits, then slide her panties down her legs. Frantically, I take off my pants, and without wasting any time, I plunge inside of her. She’s already soaking wet. Her body clings to my cock, tight and warm. It feels so good, the horrible events of the night leave my mind for now.
It feels so good, she must be my salvation.