Drew decided food and beer was due. We ended up at Daisy’s Diner on the outskirts of town. I’d been here once or twice. It wasn’t really a diner. Cocktails and beers were the main thing, and you could order strips or wings or various combos. And Daisy wasn’t a woman. Mike and Alan welcome all, said the sign above the bar. Mike and Alan were bearded hipsters with a penchant for unicorn tees. Mike and Alan were so obviously in love. It was nice to see. A feel-good place. I imagined Mike and Alan fucking. Something I’d like to watch. Or take part in.

‘Sorry if I hurt you,’ Drew said as we sat in a booth.

I touched a hand to his forearm, stroked the hairs, squeezed at the firmness. ‘It was beautiful,’ I told him and he placed a hand on mine.

We ordered strips and sticky wings, and beers in frosted glasses, and once we’d eaten, we ordered the same again.

‘Fucking makes me hungry,’ Drew said.

I agreed and asked where he would like to fuck me next.

He took out his phone, brought up the pictures he’d taken, and passed it to me.

I scrolled through. My cunt looked strange all bare, and it made me horny to see all those little red pricks from the holly leaves.

‘That’s my favourite,’ he said when I paused at a close-up, the one where he’d just shaved me and I’d smacked myself pink.

‘I want you to send it to someone,’ he said, ‘that picture.’

‘Send it to who?’

He shrugged. ‘A random number. No, five random numbers.’

He said no one would know who the picture was of, plus it was his phone, not mine, so no trace back to me.

‘What about you? What if someone tells the cops and they trace your phone?’

He shrugged again. ‘I’ll ditch it, tell ’em it got nicked.’

‘Five numbers? Why five?’

He told me there’d be more chance of a response. More fun to be had. Just a laugh. Just a giggle.

‘But it could be anyone. Male, female, old, young.’

‘We’ll find someone to fuck you,’ he said, ‘that’s if you dare.’

‘Any number?’

‘Start with the mobile prefix,’ he said, ‘then tap in any numbers.’

So I did. And sent my pink cunt pic. Five times.

‘Now we wait,’ Drew said.

Just hold your fucking horses, Uncle Kev had said, holding up a hand.

The front door had only just clicked shut on Mother’s back when I’d turned to him at the kitchen table.

Please fuck me now, I’d said.

The woods, he said.

Once we’d hit the woods, his hand found mine and I smelled his musk.

I asked him straight out. Where would you like to fuck me?

After a while he said, I know just the place.

We came to a wooden hut, hidden among the trees and overlooking a small lake. It was a bird hide that people used to watch birds on the lake through a pull-down hatch.

Inside was dusty and cobwebby. There was a grubby wooden bench, leaves and litter on the floor.

Let me see you, he said, closing the door.

I stripped slowly, watching his eyes. I unclipped my bra, let my tits fall free.

I love your little tits, he said.

I played with my nipples, made them hard.

Knickers, he said and I pushed them down, exposing my bush of hair.

He told me I was all woman as I lay down on the bench on my back with my feet planted on the floor. Told me I tasted so good as he buried his face between my legs. I told him I wanted to taste him, too. Strip for me, Kev.

He lost his clothes and straddled the bench, his cock and balls dangling over my face. I opened my mouth for him and he sank his dick through my lips, spreading my legs at the same time and dipping his head to my needy cunt.

We ate each other for a long time. I was on my third orgasm when Kev decided it was time. Are you on the pill?

Yes, I lied.

He pulled me to my feet and sucked hard on my tits. Sucked noisily and nibbled at the skin. I so wanted that cock inside me. I told him as much and he turned me to the open hatch and spread my legs, nudging my ass out a bit.

He slid into me so firmly, a nice stretch, and I moaned the whole time he fucked me, watching the ducks on the lake.

Drew’s mobile vibrated on the table. He swiped it up and looked at the screen. ‘We have a reply.’

‘What does it say?’ My heart was going nineteen to the dozen.

‘Blocked. In capitals. And three fucking exclamation marks.’ Drew laughed.

I giggled. Drew was fun.

‘Where should we stay the night?’ he asked.

‘Not at mine, not with my mother there.’

‘I know where. Drink up.’

As we left, I noticed one of the guys behind the bar slip Drew a small package, and Drew pushed some notes into the guy’s hand. I guessed we were getting high sometime soon.

The room at the Holiday Inn was nice enough. We’d stopped at the supermarket for beer and rum, and Drew brought his bag of tools from the pickup.

Once we were locked inside and a beer cracked, Drew took the small package from his shirt pocket and handed it to me. ‘Shrooms, ever done them?’

I unfolded the package. They looked like dried worms. ‘No,’ I said.

‘It’s a funky fuck,’ he said, ‘a crazy fuck.’

We sat at the dresser and the game was a simple one. We’d swallow a piece of mushroom, chase it down with beer, then we’d kiss.

The shrooms tasted like shit, Drew did warn me. But the beer washed it away, and the kiss after every bite was worth it. We ate, we drank, we kissed, and we giggled as the walls grew fat and juicy with colour.

‘A rum, then I’m going to tie you up,’ he said.

We slugged from the bottle, then tore each other’s clothes off.

I got on the bed and positioned myself spread-eagled while Drew fetched rope from his work bag. But Drew said no, not that way. He wanted to be able to move me about. He pushed my feet back up the bed until I could wrap my fingers around my ankles, then he tied my wrists to them, tested I could move my knees up and down, pushed them all the way back until they touched to my tits. He let go and my legs fell open.

‘Hey gorgeous,’ I said to the god between my legs.

‘Same,’ he said, eyes twinkling, the flush of his skin so fresh. I breathed him in. Breathed the room in.

‘What are you going to do to me?’

The vibration of his phone stopped him answering.

‘Another reply?’

‘Yes.’

‘What’s it say?’

He told me it asked for my name, and for more pics, then he took a few snaps of me tied like a slut.

‘This one,’ he said and showed me. You could see everything but my head. My cunt looked like a cut orange.

‘Dare you,’ I said and we laughed.

‘Sent,’ Drew said.

‘What name did you tell him?’

‘Dani,’ he shrugged, ‘won’t matter.’

He asked how I was feeling. I told him soft, squishy, and alive. And this room, it was like being inside a colourful womb.

‘I feel like playing,’ he said and picked up the rum bottle.

The same words Uncle Kev had used when he came back from the shops with carrier bags full of who knew what. I feel like playing. Mother had announced she was going away for the weekend, which meant she was getting fucked somewhere, and Uncle Kev had agreed to keep me safe. The wine went in the fridge while we downed a few beers. I wasn’t used to alcohol, got tipsy quick, and so fucking horny with it. I straddled Kev’s lap and snogged his face off. Bit his neck. Sucked him some hickies and got some on my tits in return.

He told me to fetch the wine from the fridge, cracked it open and we swigged from the bottle before he placed the thing between his legs. I sank myself onto it, my ass coming to a stop on his thighs, the cold bottle inside my hot cunt made me hiss and shudder and bite him some more. I rode the bottle, stopping every few strokes for a swig before shoving it back inside me.

Downing wine and watching me fuck a bottle with my newly-opened cunt was enough for Kev to forget where we were. He fucked me over the kitchen table with his thumb up my ass. I’d come a whole lot, all over the floor. I remember being terrified that I might have hurt myself, burst my bladder or something silly like that. We ended up in the shower where he asked me to repeat my performance, but all I could manage was a trickle of piss down my leg. Kev pulled me to him and we kissed. I felt his piss running down my thigh. He held me tight and we didn’t stop kissing until his piss had drained away.

We got so drunk that night. Kev had bought strawberries and squirty cream and a trio of courgettes that he enjoyed fucking me with. I ate squirty cream off his cock and we fed each other strawberries. We fucked in every room. Fucked in Mother’s bed. Fucked in the garden with bats swooping around us. I’m sure that’s the night I conceived.

‘That’s nice,’ I said as Drew pushed the rum bottle inside me.

He took another picture.

‘Sent,’ he said.

‘Good, ask him his name.’

Drew hit the keys. ‘Might not be a he.’

‘Ask him for a picture.’

Drew hit the keys again. ‘Done.’

He pulled the bottle from me, splashed rum on my stomach and tits, dribbled some into my mouth.

‘I like you tied up and helpless,’ he said. ‘Maybe I could leave you here while I go to the pub.’

‘Sure, babe,’ I said, ‘have one for me.’

He came to the side of the bed and wrapped his fingers around my throat. ‘Or maybe I could leave you here for days. No one would know. Not if I hung the no-service sign on the door. Unless the maid got curious.’

You wouldn’t dare, came the words in my head. I didn’t voice them. That would be a deal done. ‘I don’t want you to leave me,’ I said instead.

I hated being left alone. Hated my mother for doing that a million times. Although I didn’t mind so much when I had Uncle Kev for company.

‘Scars?’ Drew said, and he was on the bed, bending his head to my ass.

‘Old cuts,’ I laughed. ‘I don’t do it anymore.’

The first cut came when I discovered I was pregnant with Uncle Kev’s baby. Making little cuts around my thighs made the pain hurt less. Making little cuts made me feel braver, like one day I might just be brave enough to go the whole way and slice my belly open and get rid of the thing growing inside me.

Not telling Mother was easy enough. She never really looked at me or listened to a thing I said anyway. Arranging the abortion and going through with it without telling a soul made me ill for weeks before and after. Mother said I was depressed, that I needed to snap out of it. In my dreams, I slit her throat.

Drew’s phone vibrated. He looked at the screen and laughed like a hyena.

‘Colin,’ he said and showed me a pic of a stiff little dick poking from a nest of ginger pubes. I laughed so loud.

Drew hit the keys. ‘Asking him where he is,’ he said when I asked what he was doing.

The reply was instant. ‘Harrogate. That’s good,’ Drew said. ‘He’s not far away.’

‘Are you really doing this?’ I asked.

‘If you dare.’