CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Amelia
I wouldn’t feel anywhere near as stupid if Jackson’s expression didn’t go blank. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to say goodbye.” I try to keep my voice cheerful, but my heart is breaking all over again. He made me say it over and over. I love you. Then when I fell in love for real, he left me. I came to say goodbye, and I came to torture myself with one last breath in the same room as him.
“You heard already?” He sits up straight and rearranges the ugly blue and white hospital gown.
I stop short. “Heard what?”
“I got a promotion. I’m going to be commanding officer down in Atlanta. Once I heal, that is.”
He’s already a million miles from me. I could reach right out and touch him, but he’s gone. Having him move to Atlanta shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I want to beg him not to leave me, but there’s no point. I can’t make him love me back. “That’s great. It’s what you always wanted.”
“It was. It’s not anymore. Amelia, baby, I don’t want it without you.”
My heart splinters into thousands of tiny pieces and regroups into something shinier and ten times bigger. At the same time my throat burns and I want to smack him. “You broke up with me. You said you were bored. I heard you.”
“I lied.” He ducks his head. He presses his lips together and looks to the wall like it has some kind of answer. “I thought at the very least they’d send me back to the arc, probably worse. I knew here you’d have food and a place to live.”
“Jackson, I don’t want to be some guy’s convenience. It’s not enough.”
“You’re not – You’re not a convenience.” He inhales through his nose and runs a hand through his hair. “Ever since I sent you away you’re all I can think about. Hell, even before that. Every time I picture you with any other guy but me I go nuts. I need you, Amelia! Come with me.”
I shake and every piece of me feels drawn to him like he’s my north. I want to say yes. Like, more than I wanted to be a ballerina. I’m so in love with him I’m lost. The thing is, I’m scared. Really, really scared.
Dad told me a lot between yesterday and today, and what I know now gives me chills. No one is in the arc that didn’t meet their criteria, and most of that was about having the right bloodline. They’ve actually been breeding people, eliminating things like mental illness, genetic diseases, and undesirable personality traits. There isn’t a soul in there with an I.Q. lower than one-forty. Dad’s talking about rebuilding the world but doing it right this time. They do need other people, but the undesirables will be sterilized, and everyone else will be carefully bred until they too have an acceptable genetic pool. I picture thousands of Danas and Amelias running around, all of them identical, and it scares the hair off my head. Plus, they went around Charlotte for weeks shooting anything that moved. I couldn’t ask him – I couldn’t—but I still wonder if the arc people are the ones who gassed the towers. It’s just too convenient. They could be responsible for killing Matthew and Mom. I can’t ask the question because I’m afraid of the answer, but if I don’t have the answer, I can’t be with the arc people and still live with myself. And there’s no way Dad will ever let me be with someone he considers so far beneath me.
“When we were in your apartment, it was like heaven to me,” I tell him. “It’s not just that I was warm and I had food, or even that I had someone to talk to. It was like you came to me because we were meant for each other. Every word out of your mouth made me happy. Not, you know, that one night. But I would have gone anywhere with you until you told me we were through.” And now everything is different. “I can’t go to Atlanta with you, Jackson.”
“I’m not letting you go this time,” he says, his voice choked with emotion. He shakes his head. “I don’t care what it takes. If I have to kidnap you again, I will.”
His words sends a pulse right to my core. I almost want him to. God. I bite my lips and cross my arms. “There’s a big hole in your chest, Jackson. I can run a lot faster and I can do anything I want.”
He curses softly. “What is it about these people that you hate so much?”
“Other than the fact that they shot up Charlotte? Jackson, you have no idea who you’re dealing with. The arc isn’t just a group of guys who got together a couple years back and built a bunker. These people have been pairing bloodlines, carefully creating babies with the right traits, the right looks, and of the right class for a thousand years. When Yellowstone blew, anyone that didn’t meet their criteria didn’t get a spot in the arc. They actually think they’re doing the right thing. They’re trying to create the perfect world by breeding out the undesirables. I don’t think it’s a mistake that they sent you to Charlotte to kill everyone.”
He leans forward and takes my hand. His skin is warm and it makes me glow.
“Amelia, I don’t care if your grandfather’s a drug lord. We don’t have to deal with these people directly. At least, you don’t. Come with me. I’ll protect you. I promise.”
His eyes are so soft, so earnest. It’s almost as though … but that’s ridiculous. “Jackson, I—”
“Come here,” he says, tugging me closer.
“They’ll never, ever let me—”
I wouldn’t feel anywhere near as stupid if Jackson’s expression didn’t go blank. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to say good-bye.” I try to keep my voice cheerful, but my heart is breaking all over again. He made me say it over and over. I love you. Then when I fell in love for real, he left me. I came to say good-bye, and I came to torture myself with one last breath in the same room as him.
“You heard already?” He sits up straight and rearranges the ugly blue and white hospital gown.
I stop short. “Heard what?”
“I got a promotion. I’m going to be commanding officer down in Atlanta. Once I heal, that is.”
He’s already a million miles from me. I could reach right out and touch him, but he’s gone. Having him move to Atlanta shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I want to beg him not to leave me, but there’s no point. He doesn’t love me. “Oh. That’s great. It’s what you always wanted.”
“It was. It’s not anymore. Amelia, baby, I don’t want it without you.”
My heart splinters into thousands of tiny pieces and regroups into something shinier and ten times bigger. At the same time my throat burns and I want to smack him. “You broke up with me. You said you were bored. I heard you.”
“I lied.” He ducks his head and looks to the wall like it has some kind of answer. “I thought at the very least they’d send me back to the Arc, probably worse. I knew here you’d have food and a place to live.”
“Jackson, I don’t want to be some guy’s convenience. It’s not enough.”
“You’re not—You’re not a convenience.” He inhales through his nose and runs a hand through his hair. “Ever since I sent you away, you’re all I can think about. Hell, even before that. Every time I picture you with any other guy but me, I go nuts. I need you, Amelia! Come with me.”
I shake, and every piece of me feels drawn to him like he’s my north. I want to say yes. Like, more than I wanted to be a ballerina. I’m so in love with him I’m lost. The thing is, I’m scared. Really, really scared.
Dad told me a lot between yesterday and today, and what I know now gives me chills. No one is in the Arc that didn’t meet their criteria, and most of that was about having the right bloodline. They’ve actually been breeding people, eliminating things like mental illness, genetic diseases, and undesirable personality traits. Like Dad said, there isn’t a soul in there with an IQ lower than one-forty. He’s talking about rebuilding the world but doing it right this time. They do need other people, but the undesirables will be sterilized, and everyone else will be carefully bred until they too have an acceptable genetic pool. I picture thousands of Danas and Amelias running around, all of them identical, and it scares the hair off my head. Plus, these people went around Charlotte for weeks shooting anything that moved. I couldn’t ask him—I couldn’t—but I still wonder if the Arc people are the ones who gassed the towers. They could be responsible for killing Matthew and Mom. I can’t ask the question because I’m afraid of the answer, but if I don’t have the answer, I can’t be with the Arc people and still live with myself. Plus there’s no way Dad will ever let me be with someone he considers so far beneath me.
“When we were in your apartment, it was like heaven to me,” I tell him. “It’s not just that I was warm and I had food, or even that I had someone to talk to. It was like you came to me because we were meant for each other. Every word out of your mouth made me happy. Not, you know, that one night. But I would have gone anywhere with you until you told me we were through.” And now everything is different. “I can’t go to Atlanta with you, Jackson.”
“I’m not letting you go this time,” he says, his voice choked with emotion. He shakes his head. “I don’t care what it takes. If I have to kidnap you again, I will.”
His words send a pulse right to my core. I almost want him to do exactly as he says. I bite my lips and cross my arms. “There’s a big hole in your chest, Jackson. I can run a lot faster, and I can do anything I want.”
He curses softly. “What is it about these people that you hate so much?”
“Other than the fact that they shot up everyone in Charlotte? Jackson, you have no idea who you’re dealing with. The Arc isn’t just a group of guys who got together a couple years back and built a bunker. These people have been pairing bloodlines, carefully creating babies with the right traits, the right looks, and of the right class for a thousand years. When Yellowstone blew, anyone that didn’t meet their criteria didn’t get a spot in the Arc. They actually think they’re doing the right thing. They’re trying to create the perfect world by breeding out the undesirables. I don’t think it’s a mistake that they sent you to Charlotte to kill everyone.”
He leans forward and takes my hand. His skin is warm, and it makes me glow.
“Amelia, I don’t care if your dad’s a cannibal and your grandfather’s a drug lord. We don’t have to deal with these people directly. At least, you don’t. Come with me. I’ll protect you. I promise.”
His eyes are so soft, so earnest. It’s almost as though… but that’s ridiculous. “Jackson, I—”
“Come here,” he says, tugging me closer.
“They’ll never, ever let me—”
“Come here.” It’s not a request. He pulls me to him and places my hand on his cock. The thin cloth can’t hide how hard he is, how thick and ready.
I gasp as the first spurt seeps from my cunt. “But you’re hurt.”
“I need you, baby.”
I stroke him, and the ache in my pussy grows.
“Take your pants off.” His voice is thick, excited.
I glance at the door. “What if—”
“I need to be inside you. Fucking take your pants off. Now!”
My pussy reacts like it’s just been licked. My breasts ache, and it’s as though someone’s pumped them full of fuck me now.
I sway toward him, and he pulls himself up until he’s sitting on the side of the bed. I raise my arms as he shoves my shirt up. He stops short when he sees the bra.
“The fuck’s this?” he demands.
“Get it off!”
Discovering the knot at the back, he tears the straps away, plucks the rest of it over my head, and latches on to my breast.
I shudder, and the puddle between my legs becomes a flood. He cups the other breast as he tongues my nipple. I squeeze his shoulders and gasp.
“Are you okay?”
“More.”
He traces his tongue around my nipple and flicks it. My core quivers, and I meld into him. I don’t care that someone could come through that door. The only thing that matters is that he keeps that tongue right where it is. When he wraps his lips around the tip and takes a long pull, he sends a dart of molten lust straight to my womb.
I shake so violently my breath quakes, and I clutch his head to me as he turns to the other breast. He teases that one too with gentle flicks of his tongue, and if I could hold that sensation for any time at all, I know they’d have to lock me in a psych ward. He clamps down on me and sucks me for all he’s worth, and the tingling ecstasy this brings shuts down anything but want.
“Take your pants off,” he rasps. My fingers fumble with the button, and he has to help me. He quickly has the button popped and the zipper down.
“Ride me, baby,” he says as I kick out of the pants. He settles back against the pillows and pushes the ridiculous hospital gown aside. I climb astride him, position the thick head of his cock against my opening, and slowly lower myself down.
We both groan as he pushes past my entrance.
“So wet, so ready,” he groans.
I try to go slow, but I can’t. He feels so good. His cock rubs the walls of my pussy, and I quiver all around him. I take him so deep I swear he becomes a part of me. I make it all of a minute, maybe too, before I’m so out of my mind I can’t even think, only feel. He’s everything I want and can’t have. He’s strong and sick, he’s masterful and he damages me and it’s so, so good.
I feel it. The tension, the gripping—it’s coming, it’s coming, and oh God. My pussy latches on to his cock and I swear my entire belly cramps around him in an ecstasy I’ve never felt before. I grit my teeth as I try to muffle myself, but I can’t and I cry out, over and over. When I feel him spill inside me, it starts again; I convulse all around him.
When I finally come to my senses, I’m panting so hard I think I’ll faint. The last glow of sweet exhaustion still quivers in my cunt, and my legs are so weak I’m afraid to stand.
I lick my lips, and I can still feel him inside me. It’s over, and it’s so unbearably beautiful I want to hold on to the moment forever. Jackson strokes my tummy and breasts, and there’s this look on his face. Intense, hungry, desperate. He strokes my belly, over and over, and I don’t know why, but that crazy look is back stronger than ever.
It feels right.
He swallows. “You’re not going anywhere without me.”
I wipe my hands up my face and back into my hair. “Jackson…”
The look he shoots me scorches my heart. “You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”
I gape at him for a full five seconds before I shake my head. “I can’t get pregnant. I don’t get periods.”
He works his jaw, and the way he glares at me doesn’t feel angry. It’s like he’s fisted my hair and pinned me to the wall. “I feel it. Your breasts, your belly. Even your cunt is different.”
“You’re wrong. I told you—”
“I heard you. You don’t get periods. I’m not stupid, Amelia. You were starving to death. But then I fed you and I knocked you up.”
He’s just sucked all the air out of my lungs. Suddenly I feel very tender and my belly flutters. He’s right. I don’t know why, but somehow I know it. I shake my head, but my eyes go moist and I place my hands over his where they rest just above where we’re joined.
I have never loved him so much.
I’ve never been so frightened in my life.
“I have to…” I can’t finish. I’m shaking so violently I can barely coordinate myself, but I move off him and try to get down.
He pulls me to him. I can feel the bandage through the hospital gown, and I break into sobs. “What am I going to do?”
“Come to Atlanta with me,” he says as though it’s perfectly logical.
Dad’s going to flip. He’s going to more than flip. I’m not only pregnant, but I’ve got the wrong genetic material inside me. Oh God. What will he do when he finds out? He won’t send me away, I know that, but…
I clap my hands over my face and swallow. “Jackson, there’s no way I can go to Atlanta. I have to get away from the Arc—as far as possible.”
His brows slash down over his eyes. “Don’t give me that shit. You’re not going anywhere. Not before and definitely not now.”
“I have to. You don’t understand.”
“Yes I do. It’s simple. I’m never letting you go.”
Oh God. I rub my temples.
He blinks several times, and his expression hardens. “I’m that bad, huh? Tough. You’d better get used to it.”
Okay. Okay. Okay. “Remember when I said my dad was in China when Yellowstone hit?”
His brows go up, and he lifts a shoulder.
“My family was really rich, Jackson. I know I didn’t talk about my old life much, but we were, like, incredibly… and Dad knew the right people and he got a boat back to the US. Turns out that safe place he said he and his friends had is the Arc.”
He recoils. “I thought you said it was a lodge?”
“That’s what I thought. He and his associates would go duck hunting all the time.”
“His associates.” He shakes his head. “How did you find out?”
I cup my hands over my mouth and nose. It’s like a prayer, but it does me no good. “After I gave them all the info on Charlotte, they started their intake questions. They asked for my parents’ names and when I told them my dad was Carlton Wester, they freaked.”
Jackson goes still. “Carlton Wester is your dad?”
“He’s more than that. He’s one of the top three contributors to the Arc, he’s head of genetics management, and he sits on the counsel of five.”
“The fuck’s the counsel of five?”
“I don’t know. The government, I guess. I can’t be within the reach of the Arc, Jackson, not now.”
“Fuck. I was going to save you and take you to Atlanta and you’re Wester’s daughter.”
“If Dad finds out I’m pregnant…”
He rolls his eyes. “Come on, Amelia, he’s not going to throw you out. He just got you back. You’re safer with him than you’ll ever be with me.”
I bite my fingernail. “Look at me. I’m not kidding about the genetics thing. My family's been part of it forever, apparently. Sometimes they mapped things out generations ahead. When genetics became a science, they took it to a whole new level. The Wester name goes back to the eleventh century, Jackson. I’m the result of a thousand years of careful pairing.”
“Pairing? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Dad’s a perfectionist. I wouldn’t be surprised if he took a few hundred embryos, sampled them for the right genes, and ended up with me and Matthew. He spent his entire career in genetics. The only people who are in the Arc are”—I make air quotes—“‘the right people.’ He’s going to find it difficult to take if I present him with a baby that doesn’t have the right dad.”
He spreads his hands. “Well, what’s he going to do? It’s a done deal.”
I cross my arms over my stomach. “I don’t know,” I whisper.
His eyes burn, and his jaw sets like it’s made of iron. “No fucking way. All right, we’re leaving. Get your things.”
My eyes fill up, and I clutch him to me like if I don’t, he’ll disappear. I’m not alone. He’s not leaving me. But… “Atlanta. It was your dream.”
“Not like this it isn’t. I’d rather beg for scraps than be the guy who lets his girl’s father make her have an abortion.”
I hold him close, and I can’t help it. I cry. It’s like a concrete wall came down on me and he’s lifted it off. He holds me and pets me, and my love for him grows into something I’ll never be able to express. I thought I could never put my future in someone else’s hands, but now there’s Jackson. My crazy, obsessive Jackson; I’ll never be alone again.
“We’ll go to Bluefield Mountain,” he says finally. “The leader there’s supposed to be a complete asshole, but he has a reputation for being obsessed with protecting what’s his. He’ll definitely want to hear about the Arc.”