Machi

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“Wake up.” Speaking softly into her ear, I drew circles over her cheek.

She hadn't looked at me at all since leaving the auction, she wouldn't look up, she wouldn't speak, she barely took an audible breath.

And I hated it.

As terrible as it might sound; I wanted her to scream at me, I wanted to see the fire in her veins and feel the thrash of her voice. If she felt the need to hit me, I wanted her to get it out.

She could do anything she wanted to me, I didn't care, as long as she still felt something.

But Imperial had numbed herself. Her eyes stayed steadfast on the ground, empty and blank, her body withered and slumped as we made our way back to her room.

I felt for her, and the fact she had been thrown into the middle of all of this. But it was out of my hands, I didn't have a choice but to force her to play along.

And a part of me felt tricked, like this woman had been dropped into my world just to show me what it felt like to still be alive. I was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for justice, to force an ending to the place that had taken a piece of my world away.

But I felt different, my heart warmed to her, my muscles twitched violently the instant I had her in my hands.

Having Imperial to protect made me realize that there were things worth living for even though I felt like I had nothing left.

Slowly her eyes blinked open, her face cold and stern, lacking any of the emotions I had seen from her before. There was no anger, no hatred or regret. She looked dead, waiting patiently for the world to finally consume her.

Dark blue rings rested under her eyes, the soft skin was puffed up and swollen like she had spent most of the night crying. The thought of that twisted my gut like a serrated blade had suddenly cut me deep.

Just picturing her alone, expelling tears that weren't hers to shed; it hurt, it made me hate myself because she didn't ask for any of this. I had chosen this option for her.

This saved her, she would be dead already if Fior and Z had taken her.

If she ever wants to get out, it has to be done this way.

My chest stung seeing the pain and confusion, knowing how hard it was for her to understand my reasons for bringing her here in the first place.

But the answers she needed, the words that could lift her up and take away all this sadness. . . I couldn't give them to her. It was too risky, it could spoil everything I worked so hard for, leaving us both at the mercy of a bullet.

“Come on, you can't spend all day laying here, we have work to do.”

Rolling onto her back, she placed her arm up over her head. “I'm awake.” Her gaze stayed on the ceiling, staring blankly into nothing. She didn't frown, she didn't glance at me or shift her eyes.

I tried to read her, I tried to see deep into her mind to figure out what the hell she was thinking. But I couldn't, the girl who had swept her emotions off the floor and was willing to fight for freedom had vanished.

“We need to get started.” Pressing my hands into my knees, I leaned back, giving her a little space. “We're expected downstairs in twenty minutes.”

“For what?” Her voice floated through the air, flat and stale. “Temptation and desecration? A lesson in spanking, choking, maybe how to take a hit? Should I expect to be strapped to a board for perverts to drool over?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I asked, shifting on the bed. “I told you before all you had to do was listen, that was it. They expect me to teach you, they expect me to break you down. I don't have to do it their way if you just do what I tell you to.”

“Is that right? Their way, I saw their way, I know what they want.” Scrunching her brows, she shook her head side to side. “Do you really think I'm that stupid?” Imperial closed her eyes as she spoke, opening them slowly with a long exhale. “I know what this is now and I know exactly what you're doing. So why even bother treating me as anything other than a fucking object?”

Don't do this, try to listen, don't read what you think you see.

“I'll treat you however I want to. You lost your right to make decisions, remember? You abandoned your life when you looked in that window. But that doesn't mean I won't talk to you like you're still human. Do I have to spell it out for you? Rules are rules, we all have them and you're no different, not while you're still here.”

“That's what I keep wondering—still here, but for how long?” There was no fire in her tone, she was deflated, as if she had given up on everything, even herself. “What can I expect tomorrow? Can I expect to still be here?”

“Yes, you'll still be here, no one's going to hurt you, I won't let that happen. I told you that.” I needed her to believe me, to trust me.

I wasn't going to allow her to question how much longer before she was sold. I needed her to be strong, to be filled with all the hate and ill feelings she had flooding her veins the days before.

Without that strength, she'd never make it out, she'd fall into the pit that rested at her feet. The second she turned from steel to sand, the moment she truly gave up, I wouldn't be able to stop what came after.

I needed her to forget about what she thought she knew and not give up on herself, regardless of what was coming her way.

I could promise her protection, I could promise her no one would touch her, but I couldn't promise her sanity if she let this world dilute her mind.

And she'd never forgive me for that.

I'd never forgive myself for that.

Fuck, Imperial!

Don't let it go!

Watching her for a moment, I tilted my head into my shoulder. “Where's the girl from yesterday?”

“That girl is gone and all you're left with is what you see now.”

“How does it just disappear overnight? How do you go from wanting to throw yourself through a pane of glass, to nothing more than an empty shell? You're not weak, Imperial, you're a lot stronger than you think.”

“Don't you dare tell me what I am.” Eyeing me with a sideways glance, her lips pulled in tight. “Why don't you tell me how you go from promising me protection, to getting me off, to pulling the ground out from under my feet? Whoever I was is gone and it's your fault. I didn't ask for any of this!”

I wanted to scream in her face that she had to hold what she felt, that she needed to cradle it with as much passion as her heart could allow. But I couldn't. She had to do it on her own, there was only so much I could do for her.

My role had to stay the same, I had to be the asshole prick who pushed her along, who forced her to learn and beg and not defy the orders given.

Is that the only thing you want from her?

No. . .

But it doesn't matter, that's not for you to take.

What happened during the auction was a weak moment, it was a hiccup in the world I had deposited myself into. I let myself get sucked into her body, drowned in her need and desire. Her curves teased my cock, her soft skin and airless moans fed my arousal.

And I was lucky as shit no one caught me with her pussy in my hand.

I wasn't supposed to get close with the merchandise, never mind allow myself to taste the product. That agreement was one I followed, not once did I touch any of the other girls more than was necessary to train them.

One touch, one kiss, one ride. . . And I'd never wake up again.

But Imperial made me forget the rules, she made me lose sight of where we were and who I was supposed to be. And getting close, that would only lead her to a broken heart.

I planned on protecting her, but that's where it ended, it was just for her. My life. . . My life was already over.

That can't happen again.

“What happened last night was a mistake.”

“Which part? The part where you touched me or the part where you let me enjoy myself until I found out it was an auction?” Dragging her hands down her cheeks, her mouth stretched open as she sighed. “Or was it when you forgot to mention that I was for sale?”

“Imperial, I'm not going to apologize for keeping anything from you or for giving you pleasure when you needed it.” Rubbing my forehead, I raked my fingers down my throat. “I never meant for it to happen that way, but it did. That doesn't mean you can shut down, what you know now doesn't have to make you crash and burn.”

Rolling her eyes, she let out a dry, condescending laugh. “Are you fucking serious?” Resting her wrists on her forehead, she closed her eyes. “It's too late, I'm fucking burning at the stake. And after what I learned. . . Imperial, she's never coming back.”

Shaking my head, I gripped her chin and forced her to look at me. Her eyes filled, glossing over, ready to spill free. But she held it in, forcing her tears to stay in place, replacing the water with anger.

Squeezing my fingers around her jaw, I lowered my face, letting my lips hover just above hers.

Staring into her eyes, my gaze drifted to the small details that made her beautiful and unique. She had tiny freckles that speckled the tops of her cheeks and a small dip at the end of her nose, forcing the tip to bump up slightly.

It was cute and enticing, making me want to nip it with my teeth. I wanted to trace her freckles with my fingertips and lick each one as I watched her body melt beneath me.

Her lips plumped up, parting as she inhaled, sucking in the air around us. I felt the heat off her breath as she exhaled across my face, watching her perfect tits rise up as she shifted her face in my hand.

“Just kill me already, because I can't do this, I can't.” Opening her eyes wide, her lashes tickled the skin above her lids, drawing me in closer, creating a vortex that threatened to suck me down.

Imperial was everything I didn't need. She was weakness and heaven, she was fire and water. She was forbidden temptation cutting me where I stood.

I wanted to kiss her, I wanted to taste her lips on mine and feel her tongue as it slipped inside my mouth. I wanted to suckle her tits and feel her wrapped around my cock.

I wanted everything she would never give me now that she knew what her purpose was.

Why? Why would I want to take any more from her when I had already stolen enough? I stole her life, I stole her freedom.

I stole her soul.

Every day I gambled with the devil, I lived counting down the seconds, knowing that my last breath was coming. That was the last thing I wanted her to feel.

“I'm not going to hurt you, I'm not going to kill you.” Our lips almost touched, but I pulled back, digging my fingers into the tender skin of her face. “You can't give up, I won't let you.” Releasing her cheeks, my fingertips left their mark on her skin with bright red impressions.

“You won't hurt me?” Cocking her head, she glared up at me. “What do you think you've already done? You think watching you kill a man didn't hurt me? You think bringing me here wasn't hurting me? Do you really think finding out I'm going to be sold doesn't hurt me? All you care about is what you want, and what you want is control.”

“It's not about control, it's about need. You need to be here, all of you. If you've checked out, then you're already dead. You can't check out, not if you want to survive.”

There was so much tension in my hands, in my face, in the muscles that stretched through my arms and around my chest. It was hard as hell to be right there and not kiss her.

We were so close, closer than I should have been, closer than what was allowed. But this wasn't just another girl. This was a woman who was here because of something I had done, she had stumbled into my path and drowned from my hand.

Her eyes searched mine as her back arched slightly. “Why? It doesn't matter. I'm not free, I'm not a girl or a woman. I'm a fucking possession, a fucking object.” With primed lips, she shook her head in disbelief. “What the hell do you want from me, Machi?” A single tear escaped, trickling down over her cheek. “I'm going to be auctioned off like a piece of meat. How the hell do you expect me to feel?”

Pressing my forehead to hers, I closed my eyes, wishing she could read my thoughts. Wishing she could see what I was going to do to keep her safe and to set her free.

I had already given up on living, accepting death as my end when this was all over, but now. . . I was willing to risk my life just to get her out.

She had no idea, she couldn't see it. She couldn't hear the strain in my words or the truth in my voice. If she did, she would listen, she would stop asking questions and just allow me to help her without needing an explanation.

All the words I couldn't say out loud were floating through my brain, begging her to read them. “You can't give up. Everything you felt before, everything you hated and feared. . .” Twisting my face against hers, I ran my hand down her throat and around her ribs. “You have to hold it, you have to feel it. That's the only way for you to still be whole, not numbing yourself or shutting down.”

Scooping my hand into the small of her back, Imperial rubbed her face against mine, letting me touch her, letting her nose brush mine, letting the warmth of our skin bleed together.

It was intoxicating, sending a rush through my body and shocking my system. My chest burned with need, my cock throbbed to be in her, to show her that there was more to me than what she saw, to show her that I was still human, that I could still feel.

If you only knew, Imperial. . . You wouldn't look at me that way.

“You're a liar, Machi.” She whispered into my ear, allowing her lips to touch my skin. “Whatever I feel, whatever you think you saw in me—” Her fingers found my shoulders, clawing in deep. “Is what I wanted you to see. What's really inside is mine and mine alone. You get nothing.” Her teeth found my lobe and bit down hard, piercing the flesh.

Growling in pain, I jerked my body free, letting her fall back to the mattress. Snatching her wrists, I forced them above her head and pinned her in place.

She didn't scream or yell, she didn't cry or try to break free. She laid there, never tensing up, never swallowing in fear.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you like pain? Is that it?” Baring my teeth, I lowered my face to hers. “Do it again, go on, fucking try to bite me.” Holding her down, her hardened nipples brushed against my chest as she arched her back.

My dick thickened the longer I touched her, it pulsed and throbbed, begging to be deep inside. It took every last inch of strength to not tear her panties off and force my cock to break her open.

No! Not like this, not this way.

Imperial didn't speak, she kept her eyes locked on mine, letting them float under hooded lids. I should have been angry and enraged, I should have coiled my fingers around her neck and choked her until she turned blue just to prove that I was serious.

But that wasn't what I felt. My heart clamored inside my chest, bursting with raw desire. My muscles surged, wanting to touch her more, wanting to feel every dip and curve of her body.

My lips tingled, itching to feel her crazed heat and taste her brackish muscles as sweat beaded up on her skin when I split her thighs apart with my hips.

Grunting in frustration, I snapped my head up and let her go, taking a giant step away from the bed.

“Why did you bite me? Can't you just listen and play nice?”

Wiping her lips, she smeared a small amount of blood off her mouth and down her chin. A smile spread across her face, one that was devilish, one that made me second guess everything I thought I had seen in her eyes. “Why would you ever deserve nice?”

Am I wrong? Is she fucking crazy?

Or is she just throwing a deck of cards at me?

It won't work if she is, she has no fucking clue how deep she's in right now.

“What the fuck!” I yelled, reaching for my ear and feeling the hot blood bubble up where she had dug her teeth in hard. “You're making this more difficult than it needs to be.”

Imperial let out a crazed giggle as her thighs swept over each other. Shrugging her shoulder, she draped her hands over her knees, pulling them into her chest. “I'm not for sale, Machi, I'm damaged, I'm a fucking psycho. Who'd want to bid on a short fuse like me?”

I see your game. . . I can see it now.

“You're wrong, Pixie, you're so goddamn wrong. Do you really think that if you act insane, no one will want to buy you?” Pacing in a circle, I continued to massage my ear. “It doesn't work that way.”

Her eyes darkened, the bright blue clouding over in a thick gray blanket. “The girls I saw last night were so sad, so lost and soulless. That's what they want, isn't it? They want a girl that will listen and be quiet, they want a girl that won't defy them and will just be a fucking puppet. I'm not going to give them what they want, I won't be that, I won't become that person.”

Gripping the sides of my head, I dragged my hands down my face. “Yes, that's exactly what they want.”

“So if—”

Slashing my hand through the air, I cut her off. “So nothing!” Dropping to her side, I braided our fingers together, pulling her up. “It doesn't matter, you can't stop it.” Staring into her eyes, I tugged her hands up to my chest. “If you fight, they'll fight back, if you act crazy, they'll return it ten fold. I told you what to do, I'm practically giving you the answers. All you have to do is listen. Why is that so fucking hard?”

“Maybe I don't like what I'm hearing. I can't deal with being sold to a man who's going to treat me like a fucking pet, who's going to force me to do things I don't want to do. I'm not going to be someone's slave, Machi.”

“Fuck, Imperial!” screaming in her face, I threw her hands down. “ You don't fucking listen! I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. Can't you feel it? Can't you see it? I'm not here because I enjoy this shit, I'm here—” Shutting my mouth, I dropped my head and plucked my lower lip.

“What are you here for then? Tell me! Fucking tell me why!” Sitting up on her knees, she wrapped her arms around her ribs. “Tell me why you do this, why you take girls to be bought like they don't matter.”

Sighing, I raked my fingers through my hair. “Forget it.” Standing quickly, I tugged my phone from my pocket and looked at the time. “If you don't want to listen, then don't. I won't stop you from doing whatever the fuck you're thinking about. But don't look at me like a fucking monster when I'm forced to do what they expect me to. I already told you what to do, I'm not repeating myself anymore. From here on out, whatever happens, it's on you.”

“Don't look at you like a monster? You killed a man! You kidnapped me and brought me here! You sell women to sick fucking assholes! What else could I see?”

I'm not the person you think I am.

My reasons were mine, they stayed with me and weren't for anyone else to know. Monsters can come in many forms. I was a creature, I was black and cold, I was willing to kill to get what I wanted. . .

But for her, for Imperial; she was lucky to have this monster on her side.

“You're only seeing what you think you know.” Stalking to the door, I held the handle in my hand and looked straight into the wood. “Get up, it's time.”

If she refused to listen to the tone in my voice. . .

If she refused to see what I was offering her. . .

Whatever I was forced to do, I wouldn't apologize for it.