Chapter Five
Mia
I hustle through the front door, Vince trailing behind. I think he’s moving slowly just to aggravate me. We’re running late, and I hate running late.
Since we are running late, I don’t wait for him; I make my way to the left and through the open door of Mateo’s study.
I expect to find Mateo at the helm and men in arm chairs.
But there’s only Adrian sitting alone in a wing chair with a drink in his hand. He tips his glass at me in acknowledgement as I walk in and come to an abrupt stop, searching the room for Mateo. He’s not by the drink cart and he’s not behind his desk, so he clearly isn’t in here.
“Where is everybody?” I ask, as Vince catches up and stops behind me.
I know it’s Vince behind me, because I would be able to feel Mateo.
“We’re on our own tonight. Mateo canceled dinner. You were already on your way, Elise is already cooking, and I’m still hungry, so it’s just us.”
My stomach sinks. “He canceled dinner? What happened?”
“You,” Adrian mutters, taking another drink.
My stomach somehow sinks harder, and the blood in my veins turns to ice water, sending chills everywhere.
Vince laughs and heads over to the alcohol cart to pour himself something.
“I don’t understand,” I say, not moving.
Adrian’s brown eyes meet mine and he states, “Meg needed to spend some time with Mateo. So he’s spending time with her.”
“Is she mad at me? Are they both mad at me? Maybe I should go—”
“Don’t even think about it,” Adrian says, cutting me off.
“Are we done pretending this isn’t a thing, then?” Vince asks mildly, taking his drink and heading over to the wing chair. Then he reconsiders and comes over to grab my arm, casually dragging me along so he can yank me into his lap once he’s seated.
I have half a mind to tell him we don’t need to put on a show; only Adrian is here. But there are probably cameras in this room, so I don’t.
I feel terrible about everything right now. “Was Meg upset?” Meg rarely gets upset. She’s a fortress. If I’ve upset her, I’m literally the worst person ever.
“I’m sure you’ll be looped in later,” Adrian tells me, drinking some more. “I’m not dealing with this shit until I know what I’m dealing with, so I’m afraid I’m not going to be a stream of information for you tonight.”
“Is Mateo coming back down later?” I ask, since apparently I need him for any answers.
“Nope.”
It’s impossible for my mind not to wander to them upstairs in bed together. Sure, he only said spending time together, but he’s Mateo. If she’s mad at him, he’ll just make her stop with his stupid sexy body. With his tender, playful words. With his beautiful face, his sensual smile—the one that makes you feel special. That makes you feel everything he wants you to feel. Mateo can handle emotional women. You can’t really stay mad at him if he doesn’t want you to.
This makes me sad.
Not sad because I want Meg to be upset, but sad because I don’t want to be sitting here on Vince’s lap while Mateo fucks Meg upstairs in their bed.
“Maybe we should just go home,” I murmur.
“Nope,” Vince says, echoing Adrian’s adamant tone just a minute ago. “We’re here; we’re eating.” Then he gives me a little squeeze, “What’s wrong, babe? You love family dinners. Dressing up, coming to the mansion.”
I roll my eyes as he mocks me. There’s no live audience to perform for, so I don’t.
It’s so strange being here without Mateo. Everything feels different. Wrong. Like something’s missing. Not just a person, but a presence. A mood. I don’t even like the study without him in it.
I climb off Vince’s lap. “If we have to stay, I’m going to help Elise with dinner.”
I’m a little unsure about leaving Adrian and Vince alone in a room with cameras with Vince in the mood he’s in, but I figure the vindictiveness will drain out of him when I’m not present to bring it out in him. Vince and Adrian used to be friends, but since Adrian killed Joey, that has very much not been the case.
God, family dinner is stressful without Mateo here to keep us all in line. The inmates are running the asylum tonight.
When I get to the kitchen, Elise looks up at me. I flash her a brief smile, but she doesn’t return it, she just goes back to food prep.
“Sorry I’m a little late,” I tell her, glancing around, wondering where I should start. “Vince’s fault. I guess it’s just us tonight.”
“Yeah,” she murmurs, not looking at me. “Meg wasn’t feeling well, apparently.”
“I hope everything’s okay,” I remark.
“She seemed to be feeling fine when I saw her.”
My gaze jumps to her and I move closer, wanting information. “You saw Meg?”
Nodding succinctly, she doesn’t offer anything else.
“Well… what happened? Mateo never cancels dinner.”
Elise shakes her head. “Nope. Not getting involved. Never does any good when I do, anyway. You’re both crazy bitches.”
My jaw drops open as Elise drops this assessment, but without another word she goes back to her task, like I’m not even here.
---
Dinner is weird tonight. Really weird. I unthinkingly put dried cranberries on Vince’s salad. Elise smirks at this for some reason, watching as I pick them all off.
My heart nearly stops as I lead Elise out into the dining room. She stops just short of running into me as I come to an abrupt halt in the doorway, staring at Mateo’s seat, no longer empty. My heart starts again, picking up the pace to make up for it, but only for a second.
Because I realize I do recognize those broad shoulders, but they’re not the right ones.
Vince is sitting in Mateo’s chair.
It makes my stomach hurt. It makes me angry.
He doesn’t belong there and Mateo wouldn’t like it.
Clutching the plate a little more angrily, I walk over with our salads and glare at him.
“That’s not your place.”
Vince smirks at me. He doesn’t fill the chair right—which I guess is absurd, because it’s only an ordinary dining room chair, but it’s Mateo’s and it feels excessively wrong for Vince to sit there. Especially knowing what I know. It feels like a threat.
“He’s not coming,” Vince tells me, enjoying the anger in my eyes. “It’s just a chair.”
“It’s not your chair.”
He doesn’t vocalize a response to that, but he smiles at me, a slow smile that makes me feel sick. That reminds me of him trying to have Mateo killed. Of my silence. Of the hatred he still feels so strongly for Mateo. I manage it by staying, but I’m only feeding that anger. That hatred. It’s enough for now that I stay, but will it always be? What if it isn’t enough someday? What do I do then?
“Please move,” I say, forcing myself to be a little more docile. “I want you to sit next to me.”
“Liar,” he says, but not with any fire. He’s amused by my attempt to handle him.
That makes me frown. Usually he doesn’t make me try very hard. It’s enough for him that I do; I don’t need to convince him.
“You’ve made your point, Vince,” Adrian says from the other end of the table. “Why don’t you go back to your seat?”
“Why don’t you fuck off, Adrian?” Vince replies.
My heart plummets. I don’t think I’m going to survive this dinner. I was semi-dreading it to begin with, but now Mateo isn’t even here to steep myself in. Now there’s nothing to distract from the unpleasantness.
“Come here, Mia. Give me a kiss.”
Swallowing down a lump in my throat, I lean in to give him a kiss. He takes hold of my hips, pulling me into his lap in Mateo’s chair, and this is so wrong. Not sexy wrong, but wrong wrong. Like, I’m breaking out in a cold sweat here, terrified that Mateo will surprise all of us by coming down here right now. By seeing this. By unleashing his anger on this whole fucking room. Not because Vince is kissing me, but because he’s in his chair, and I’m in his lap, and it doesn’t look like anyone here is being loyal to him.
Vince kisses me, but it’s not a nice kiss. It’s a punishing kiss, hard and lacking any tenderness. All ownership. I’m his consolation prize, and whether he enjoys it or not, he will damn well take me.
I miss Mateo so much.
It’s only the tiniest glimpse of a life without him, and it makes me miserable.
Vince makes it worse, because now I’m straddling him in Mateo’s chair and the bastard leans in and kisses my neck. It’s a fucking mockery. I don’t even know how he knows Mateo’s kisses my neck—maybe he doesn’t, maybe it’s more coincidence than calculation, but it makes me shudder all the same, and not with pleasure.
“How’s it feel, seeing me in his seat?” he asks lowly, in my ear.
“I’ve never been less attracted to you in my life,” I reply honestly.
Fisting a hand in my hair, he holds onto me and gives me another punishing kiss. “Too bad,” he says.
My eyes grow wide but Vince only smiles as a gun is suddenly pointed at his head. He lets go of my hair and I turn my head to look at Adrian, standing beside the chair with a blank look on his face.
“You wanna run down the list of people I’ve killed in fucking chairs, Vince? You wanna join that list?”
Honestly, I don’t even have it in me to feel worried right now. This is somehow the lowest point I’ve hit with Vince so far, but seeing him in Mateo’s place like this, feeling the way he’s making me feel right now, I don’t even have it in me to simply request Adrian not kill him.
It’s not like he will. Not here in the dining room, not right now. At least, I don’t think.
“Mia, get up,” Adrian commands, still with his gun at Vince’s temple.
I do. I don’t even hesitate a second, climbing off his lap and backing up by my own chair.
“We have two choices here,” Adrian says. “I’m honestly partial to the first one, because it saves me a lot of trouble and makes everyone happier, but I’m gonna let you choose. Option one: I shoot you. Mateo has to get the dining room redecorated. We all move on.” He lifts his eyebrows, nodding a little. “Got option one? Okay. Option two: you chill the fuck out. You go back to your own seat and we all get through this miserable goddamn dinner without killing each other. After it’s over, before the dishes have even been cleared, I walk you out to your car and you leave alone. Mia stays here tonight.” Flicking a glance at me, he says, “You can stay in Francesca’s room.”
I nod obediently. I don’t have the textbooks or notes I need for classes tomorrow, and it doesn’t seem like anyone at the house is especially fond of me tonight, but I feel better about staying here in Francesca’s old room than going home with Vince this time.
“Well, with options like that…” Vince trails off sarcastically, unafraid. I tend not to be afraid of Adrian either, but I didn’t watch him shoot my best friend in the head. I would think Vince would take the threat a little more seriously.
Maybe he does. He just doesn’t care.
Dread moves through me. I feel like I’m losing control of him, and staying here tonight probably won’t help that. Maybe it would remind him that I could leave him, so he should keep his head on straight to keep me around. But maybe it only makes him more resentful. Typically if there’s a choice between anything else and growing more resentful, Vince chooses the latter option.
But he gets out of Mateo’s chair.
I don’t feel as much relief as I expect to feel. I’ve gone over Vince’s death so many times in my head, and it’s always Mateo who kills him. If Adrian did, and Mateo didn’t even know because he was upstairs and had no idea anything was happening down here, it wouldn’t be his fault.
It would still be mine though.
I’m still the reason he hates Mateo. I’m still an awful girlfriend. Sometimes I take it in my head to stop, to be better, but it never lasts. I can’t maintain it. My heart just isn’t in it, so it’s always a performance, and like all performances, it has to end.
I’m the reason Vince hates Mateo enough to kill him, and I don’t know how to fix that.
Apparently I only know how to make it worse.