There have been maybe one or two times in my life when I’ve been undoubtedly happy. This wasn’t one of them. I get that Ella feels like she needs to throw this…whatever it is, for me to get comfortable with the fact that Chase is going to be around, and in Pax’s life forever, but I ain’t with it. I have to give it to my girl though, she sure knows how to throw an epic…whatever this is. We’re all on my backyard porch, the BBQ is grilling, all the kids are playing on the playground I had built pretty much the day after Ella and Pax moved in—as well as childproofing the entire joint. Ella and I spent the first week painting one of the bedrooms in the house yellow, all for Pax to change her mind and decide purple was her favorite color again. So yeah, you guessed it, I went down to the hardware store and got fucking purple paint. Ella says I’m being ridiculous when it comes to Pax, but hell nah, man, that’s my princess. Tonight, I guess if it wasn’t for the big pretty boy hunched opposite me on the long rectangular outdoor dining suite I have, would be pretty nice. Everyone who is anyone in our life is here. Raze, Millie, and their new baby boy, Reign. Miles, Amy Jr and Miles’ partner—or, whatever the fuck he is, Blake. Then there’s Taylor—who is here to watch Miles—and Chase, and Willow. My sister. I’m still getting used to the fact that I have a sister, and I gotta say, it doesn’t mean jack shit to me. Family, blood, never meant jack to me. My brothers are my family. Pax and Ella are my family. Willow, not so much, but she does try with me. As in, every single second. She’s fucking annoying, but I can see how she might grow on me.

“Dadda?” Pax yanks on my jeans from down below.

“Yeah, princess?” I scoop Pax up and place her on my knee. Her little hand wraps around the back of my neck as she stands on my leg. “Snow!”

Ella giggles, sipping on her wine. “Good girl, baby. That’s right, snow.” She winks at me and I grin. A couple days after they moved in—between the building of the playground and the painting of the room—I went and visited Hella’s tattoo studio downtown and got the exact same snowflake inked on the back of my neck, right at my nape, the exact same position and design as Ella’s. Every time Pax sees it, or doesn’t see it because she knows it’s there, she brings it up.

“She got it right?” Chase pipes in and my attention snaps to him. I feel Ella squeeze my knee from under the table and I relax slightly, my jaw relaxing.

“Yeah.” I give him a curt smile. “After I got my new piece she hasn’t stopped saying it.”

He nods, his features soft and somber, and I calm toward him a little. I’ve been battling internally with how I feel about him. I’m territorial and possessive, and what’s mine is mine, that’s how I’ve seen it since they got home, but I’ve slowly come to realize a couple of things. One is that Chase hasn’t done anything to warrant me being a fucker to him—lately. He knows Ella is with me now, and he knows Pax is my kid. I watch him, bringing my beer to my mouth. I notice the pride in his eyes, I share that same pride, and something itches in my chest. Reality, maybe?

“Fuck’s sake,” I grunt under my breath, placing Pax on the ground. I dip down to her level. “Go play with your cousins, baby. Daddy’s going to talk with Uncle Chase.”

“Untle Chay?” she asks, her head tilting and her long brown hair coming over her shoulder.

My eyes shoot up to his, to find him staring back at me. I lean and kiss Pax’s head while whispering, “Yeah baby. Won’t be long, promise. Daddy just wants a chat with Uncle Chay.” Then I stand and walk back inside, into the kitchen and wait a few seconds. Chase walks in a minute later.

“Okay, so should I be worried?” I ask, watching the door where Frost just exited through. Pax jumps off the porch and runs toward the playground toward all the kids. After I found out Frost and Raze had set up this whole thing as a plan two years ago to initiate Miles’ revenge plan, as well as making Taylor think she was involved in said plan, everything made sense to me. I only felt bad that I killed Snake and Miles didn’t get to. I guess Taylor is going to get the Miles’ special then, what with all that pent-up energy Miles keeps hidden so well. That kill will go down in history.

Raze snickers. “I don’t know.”

Millie shakes her head, cupping Reign in her arm closer so she can feed him before unlatching her bra strap. “I don’t think so, sis. Only because Pax is here.”

“Fuck me, babe, you gotta do that shit out in the open like that?” Raze gestures to her breastfeeding Reign.

“What?” Millie snaps at him. “You mean feed our son?”

He throws his hands up. “Woman, that is not what I mean, but I don’t want to have to kill anyone here today. I happen to like the people that are here, and it will be unfortunate to lose any of them if they happen to gaze at your tit, just saying.”

Willow starts laughing and it’s not long until I’m joining her. “Raze!” I shake my head.

“What?” He feigns innocence.

I roll my eyes.

“Millie is right,” Melissa murmurs.

“Damn straight she is.” Racer points to the exit with his beer bottle, from where he’s leaning on the porch railing. “That motherfucker won’t touch him because he won’t want to take away Untle Chay from Pax.”

I crow. “Okay, true that.” Then I gaze toward Melissa. I haven’t said anything about Hella being locked up since Raze told me back in England, so I figure I should ask.

“Melissa? Are you ok?” I ask quietly since she’s beside me drinking wine.

Her eyes gaze blankly out the front of her. “I don’t know.” Then her eyes snap to mine. “Should I be?”

Good question. No, she shouldn’t. “Um, well, I don’t think I’d handle Frost being locked up, so no.”

“Locked up?” She searches my eyes in confusion, and then it’s as though something ticks in her brain. “Wait, they told you that he was locked up?”

She points to Beast, who has been quiet standing near Racer.

“Wait, Raze told me he was?”

“Oh, girl…” Blake mutters from the side and I have to fight the urge to look at him.

“Why did you tell her that, B?” Melissa asks Beast. I take this chance to cast a quick look at Meadow, who has gone awfully pale.

“Ah,” I correct myself, my hand coming up. “Maybe this isn’t the time?” I hit Raze’s leg with mine from under the table. Idiot. If I wasn’t allowed to say anything he should have told me. His leg presses into me harder.

Melissa laughs, rolling her eyes. “He isn’t locked up, El. He left me.”

“Wait, what?” I gasp. “No way?”

She nods, gulping the rest of her wine—her wine that was looking very full. “He did.”

“—For reasons we don’t know yet…” Racer adds, clenching his jaw.

“What does that even mean?” I ask them all, my eyes going around the table. They land on Blake, Miles’ plaything and he smiles softly at me, distracting me from the whirlwind of drama that has just picked up. Blake has ash blonde hair that hangs tidily off his head, soft friendly features and a personality to match. He’s hot for a suit, in a quirky kind of way. He’s definitely one hundred percent gay, whereas Miles isn’t. He isn’t even bi, he’s just… Miles. He has no preference, but he has always made it known that if he had to choose, he’d always choose pussy. His words, not mine. Blake is nice though, and he and Miles look amazing together, even if he was the nice to Miles’ asshole, the warm to his cold and the angel to all his demons, but I can see, because I’ve known Miles all my life, that Blake just…isn’t it.

“Well, whatever it is I’m sure he has a good reason, Melissa. I don’t know any of you that well, but you are his wife and I don’t think any man would take the decision of leaving very lightly,” Willow adds, tugging me out of my Miles and Blake self-induced haze.

Melissa smiles weakly. “Thanks. But I don’t know.”

Miles brings the rim of his glass to his lips. “Willow, you still at the Mac Mansion?”—they all call it that, apparently, for McKenna’s Mansion.

Willow’s eyes snap to Miles. “You already know I am…”

Miles’ eyes stay on hers. Hers laser into his until Blake clears his throat. Well, that’s interesting.

“I sense something—” Miles and Willow both kick me under the table. “Ouch!” Both their eyes are wide on me, and my annoyed face turns smug.

“Oh, quit playing like I don’t know,” Blake adds, his southern twang coming in. “Y’all are just a pair of idiots if you think I didn’t know.”

All of us go quiet, then Blake leans forward and casts a cheeky glance at Willow. “You taste delicious, my dear.” Then he winks at her and leans back.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Raze whispers, dropping his head into the palm of his hands.

I blurt out laughing, but not until I made sure Willow wasn’t uncomfortable from Blake’s crassness.

Blake further shrugs, just as I see Frost and Chase walk back onto the porch. “What, it’s true. I know Miles isn’t gay, and he isn’t bi. I’ve just kept his dick happy.”

“Blake…” Miles warns. “Shut up, and you know that isn’t true.”

Willow shuffles and then stands. “X? How’s that BBQ going?” She walks toward X with a smile and I watch as Miles’ eyes fly up to her, watching her carefully with X. Well, well, well.

Miles’ eyes drop to me, only to find my face red from all the grinning. “You,” he points to me, “shut the fuck up when you’re talking to me.”

“What’d I miss?” Frost asks, kissing me on my head and sitting beside me. Chase goes back to the end of the table, a shit-eating smile on his face.

“Oh you know, just our crazy fucked up family,” I whisper into Frost’s thick neck and kiss him softly.

Chase stops and then slides the ranch slider closed, shutting out all the chit chat from the porch. “I get it, man, I get why you’d hate me.”

“You do?” I ask, my eyebrows shooting up.

“Yeah, of course.” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I understand the situation and how that might feel for you. But, if I could have one request, it would be to just not do this here, not now, and let me have one more day with Pax.” His eyes drop before coming back to me. I see his eyes glass over. “I love that girl, bro. So much, and I’d never try to take your place in her life, that’s a given, but never have I ever tried to.” A tear slips down his cheek and I can’t play this asshole anymore.

“Chase?” I grind out, turn and pull open the fridge, taking out a couple of beers. “Sit down, brother, I’m not going to hurt you, nor am I going to take Pax away from you.”

His eyes shoot up to mine, his shock evident. “What?” he whispers, looking at me like he’s waiting for me to say, ‘Just kidding, motherfucker’ and then launch my blade into his eye sockets. I might have in the past. Yeah, I definitely would have done that to him, but respect happened.

I hand him his beer, and he pops the cap off, taking a seat on one of the bar stools. I take a sip of mine and lean against the counter. “The thing is, is yeah, at first, I fucking hated you. You knew Ella before I did, you had touched her before I did—hell, you are the only man who has touched her that isn’t me, and then when I saw you both together during that shitshow at the Beehive? Yeah, I wasn’t a happy man. Actually, I remember specifically telling myself that I wanted your head, and I always get what I want…” I pause, taking a pull of my beer. I clench my jaw a couple of times, look at him, and then smile. One of my smiles I save for Pax and my woman. “But then I realized you took care of my girls. You were there when I wasn’t—even though I didn’t know about Pax, you stepped up to her needs, and Ella’s needs, when she needed you the most. For that, brother, I owe you, so no, I don’t want to kill you, and no, I don’t want to take Pax away from you. Quite the contrary. I want you to be here for everything. I want you to be present to every birthday she has—if possible—I want you to be here when she graduates, and God help, when she even thinks about dating, I want you to be behind me and the brothers when it comes to knocking the little fucker out….” I pause and then peer up at him. He’s smiling a bright smile, full teeth on display and everything. “So, what do you think?” I ask, one eyebrow cocked.

He stands, walks toward me and pulls me into a hug. “I think I’m moving home.”

I step back, my hands on his shoulders. “You sure?”

He searches my eyes. “Yeah, man. I need to be here for all that, now that I have your blessing, and also…” His head tilts toward the glass sliding door that leads out onto the porch where I can hear a round of laughter. “I don’t fucking trust Taylor. She has something to do with Hella leaving Melissa, and I don’t know why she wants Miles, but I’m not buying it.”

His words sink in, and I nod in understanding. “Brother, we are on the same page.” We both walk out, back onto the porch and I pull Ella into me.

“You okay, baby?” She searches my eyes. “Are you and Chase?”

“We’re good, baby, promise.” Then I get up and meet X at the BBQ. “Brother, you need any fucking help or what?”

He glances at Willow and then grins at me. “I’m good, my man.”

Shaking my head, I go back to the table and sit next to Ella. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into me as the next generation is playing, laughing on the playground behind us, Millie and Raze are arguing because Millie thinks real chicken is in chicken nuggets, Miles is glaring at Willow who is leaning into X and Blake has his hand on Miles’ thigh under the table. Racer is on his phone, leaning against the railing—texting one of his hoes no doubt, Beast is gazing out at the playground with Meadow standing in front of him wrapped in his arms, and Melissa, well, Melissa is drinking wine like it’s water beside me. Not all of my brothers are here tonight because not all of them could make it and we always need someone at the clubhouse, but these people are who my family are. Hell, Willow included, even if she has just started a war with Miles. My thoughts briefly drift back to that day I was sitting in that therapist office with my ratty ass birth mom. “—I’m sorry. There’s nothing else we can do. Maybe in time, he will find a stabilizer, but that’s not guaranteed.” I found my stabilizer, and it wasn’t the girl wrapped up in my arms. I loved Ella, yeah, but it wasn’t the kind of love I needed to feel. My eyes shoot out to the playground where Pax plays, her long hair bouncing around her shoulders, her little smile eating up the entire vicinity. Yeah, I found my stabilizer all right, and she has my heart by a fluffy Dora the Explorer leash.