“Just coming,” I called as my doorbell rang for the second time. I placed the drill I’d been using on the table once I’d turned it off and headed to the front door. My hands went to my hair to smooth it down, but I already knew it was a lost cause. My curls were unruly on a good day. I opened the door with a smile, but it left my face as soon as I got a glimpse of who was standing there. My eyes closed on a wave of pain before my sanity returned and I tried to slam the door in his face. His hand came out to stop me from succeeding, and I gasped as he pushed it open forcing me to step backwards.

“I don’t think so Callie.” He all but growled, making me flinch.

I couldn’t remember how many times I’d wished for this moment, but it was nothing like my fantasy in which Alex would stand there apologising for kicking me out, and for breaking my heart. I could already see it wasn’t the way this little reunion was going to go.

Six months ago I’d ran from this man, he’d ripped my heart out and stomped all over it. I’d vowed right then I would never allow him to hurt me again, but one glance at his expression, at his pale blue eyes filled with hate and it’s clear my vow was about to get broken.

“Alex.” I greeted hearing the wobble in my voice and hating it.

He still stood with his hand on the door. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

His voice was silky soft but I’m no fool. I could hear the anger, almost feel it coming at me in waves. Why on earth was he here? I stepped out of the way and watched as he entered my home, my sanctuary, and the only place that has ever been mine. I know I’ll always remember him being here in my space and I didn’t like it. He walked into my living room and I let out a quiet sigh. He’d hurt me so much, but even now when my eyes roam over the beauty of him, my heart filled with love. I haven’t stopped loving him, and that made me vulnerable. Closing the door, I followed him. He glanced around the room before his gaze settled on the painting I was about to hang before he’d rang the bell. Thank goodness I’d left it leaning back to front against the wall. I’d painted the picture when we’d been together; it was the meadow we used to share lunch in when we’d had spare time. It was our special place where we used to hide away from the world. After Alex had made me leave, I’d decided to sell it not wanting the memories anymore, but I’d found I couldn’t bear to part with it. It reminded me of happy times, of an Alex who’d loved me and it hurt to think about not having it on view. Yes, I’m a glutton for punishment because I should have moved on by now.

I raised my eyes to his and flinched at the frozen, but somehow indifferent look he was giving me. It hurt like hell.

I cleared my throat. “What are you doing here?” My voice sounded normal considering my heart was in my throat.

“Callie, I’m here because you owe me and it’s time for me to collect.”

It didn’t happen often, but I was speechless. I blinked at him in shock. How could he possibly think I owed him anything after he’d treated me lower than the dirt on his shoes?

He smiled at my silence, seeming to enjoy my shock and the smile reminded me of a shark getting ready to attack its prey. “What’s the matter, baby? Aren’t you at all interested in what I want?”

“It doesn’t matter what you want because I’m not doing anything for you. I think you should leave.” I wasn’t sure where my courage came from especially with the dark expression that graced his face, but I was glad of it. He acted as if I’d never opened my mouth and carried on talking.

“I need a wife and you are perfect for the job.” He said it so matter of fact I nearly laughed. He needed a wife, is he mad?

“You need a wife and you think I’m perfect for the job?” I asked in disbelief, I must be missing something here.

“A perfect slut.” He rasped, and I stiffened in anger, or was it hurt? Either way, tears started to fill my eyes. There was no way I would ever let him see me cry again. I walked into my kitchen and grab a glass off the side before running the tap to fill it with water. Anything to use as a distraction so I didn’t give in to the pain his words caused me. His footsteps followed me and when he was close, I heard a rough sigh pass his lips.

“That was uncalled for.”

I waved a hand in the air still facing the sink. “Don’t worry, it’s not like I haven’t heard the insult from you before.”

I took a couple of sips while gathering my courage to turn and face him.

“You need a wife?” I asked again.

He didn’t speak for a minute and it’s a struggle not to squirm under the scrutiny of his gaze. “Yes. One that knows the marriage means nothing and will give me a divorce in three months once the deal I’m working on is complete.”  He sighed in disgust. “The company I want to buy is owned by a man with ‘old fashioned’ values and he believes a family man is more trustworthy.”

I could tell him that doing this was proving the man right, but what was the point. This was Alex after all; he didn’t care what I thought, I’m wondering if he ever did.

“I won’t marry you.”

I raised my eyes to his expecting anger or shock at my refusal, but instead, he looked pleased. It puzzled me until he started speaking.

“If you don’t marry me, I’ll ruin you and your gallery owner friend.” He paused. “What’s his name again? Oh yes, Jon, that’s it.”

He ignored my gasp of outrage. “I always get what I want, don’t you remember?”

“Yes I remember, but you would never have resorted to this level with me.”

“You can blame yourself for that Callie. Revenge is a strong motivator.”

“You can’t ruin me, there’s nothing to ruin and Jon is well established in the art world, even you would struggle to do anything to make him suffer.” I snapped, beyond pissed at his threat to Jon. He only raised his eyebrows and I feel stupid for not realising he’d already thought about that.

“A few whispered words about how Jon is skimming off the top of the money he gets paid for his client’s artwork should do the trick. No one likes a thief, especially a rich one.”

“Jon would never do that. He’s the most trustworthy person I’ve ever met.” I protested.

“And you, how about we say you’re his accomplice? You’ve just bought this house; this must have set you back.”

“You bastard,” I choked. “You know I would never steal.”

“Yes, that might be the only truth I do know about you, but others will believe it, particularly if it comes from a reliable source like myself.”

“You would honestly spread malicious lies? That’s blackmail.” I said outraged.

“Call it what you like, but understand this, I’m not bluffing.”

I could see he was dead serious; he didn’t need to tell me. My heart sank because there was no choice. If I didn’t marry him he’ll punish Jon, and I couldn’t let that happen. He’s my only family even if we aren’t blood-related. He’d been there when my whole life had collapsed and I’d never be able to repay him. “I don’t have a choice do I.”

“No, and I’m glad you see it. I want three months of marriage. In that time, we’ll act like a happily married couple. We’ll go on dates and get photographed together and show the world we are in love.”

I’m stunned. “I don’t think I can act that well.”

“Why not, you managed before.” He sniped.

The blood drained from my face. “I wasn’t acting, I loved you.”

He shook his head. “People in love do not cheat.” Disgust showed on his face and I’m confused.

“You think I slept with someone else?”

“I don’t think you did Callie, I know you did.”

Frowning, I met his eyes. “You know I did? That would be pretty hard considering it never happened.” I defended myself. I’d never even looked at another man let alone had sex with one. Alex is all I’ve ever wanted. Finally, I have a reason he turned on me that morning and it sickens me that he’s convinced himself I cheated on him. Did he not know me at all?

He shook his head. “I’m not getting into this now. This is why you’re perfect wife material for me. You’re aware I will never love you and you won’t cling after the three months are up. Don’t worry, you won’t want for anything while we are together, and neither will I.”

He looked me up and down and I stiffened in protest. I knew what he meant; he didn’t need to spell it out. He expected me to have sex with him. It made me mad that he could think so badly of me, but still expect the use of my body.

“I won’t sleep with you.”

“I have no intention of sleeping with you.”

The tension left me slightly; perhaps I’d got the wrong end of the stick. Then he opened his mouth again. “We will not share a bed to sleep, but we will share one to make love. Although given your fondness for balconies I’m sure I can persuade you to make love there too.”

“You’ve confused me with someone else. We’ve never made love on a balcony.”

His face tightened and his eyes flash like blue fire. “No, we haven’t, but you have.”

I shook my head. “The only person I’ve ever slept with is you.”

“Even now you deny it. After six months I thought you’d, at least, admit the truth.”

“Of course, I deny it. You are the only man I’ve ever made love with.”

“Enough Callie!” He shouted and his hand sliced through the air in an angry gesture.

Tears sprang to my eyes. Why was I bothering to deny something he’ll never believe? When I don’t speak, he does. “Do I have your agreement?”

There was no choice, I had to marry the man I love like a business deal knowing he hated me. It was going to destroy me. All the harsh words heading my way were nothing to the pain that will rip through me when he makes me leave him again.

“Yes,” I whispered. “You have my agreement.”

“Good.”  He nodded as if he already knew the answer, and I guess he did, after all, he’d gone after my one weakness, my love for Jon. “A car will collect you here at nine in the morning.” He looked me over and frowned at my dark jeans and plain white top.  “Don’t worry about packing clothes; I’ll have some delivered to my apartment, also something for you to wear when we marry.”

Another insult, at this rate, I’ll lose count of them. “I own dresses.”

“It doesn’t matter. You’ll wear something I chose. I’m the one in control here and besides, something tells me if I leave it to you, I’ll end up with a bride dressed in black.”

I blushed with guilt. He chuckled, and I’m reminded of the old Alex before the shutters came back down.

“What am I going to tell Jon?”

“You’ll tell him we met again and realised we still love each other. You’ll tell him you’re happy and you want him to walk you down the aisle on the happiest day of your life. Remember Callie, everyone must believe in the fairy-tale, no one is to find out about our little deal else Jon’s reputation will be the least of your problems.”

He looked scary; he’d never spoken or looked at me this way before. I had to swallow before I could speak. “I’m not sure I can convince Jon, I mean he knows me so well, he’ll see I’m lying.”

“You can and you will.” He moved away from the counter he’d been leaning on and stopped a few inches in front of me. The warmth from his body reached out to my cold one, and I shivered. Alex being this close was not good for my state of mind. I lowered my lashes hiding my reaction from him until he used a finger to tip my chin up.

“It’s still there between us.” He told me as he stared into my eyes. 

“I hate that my body still reacts to you.”

“You may hate it here.” He tapped my temple with his long finger. “But your body still remembers what it was like between us, every time we touched, hell, every time we were near the electricity crackled.”

His finger moved to caress my cheek, and I found myself wanting to lean into his body. His sharp eyes watched me intently. My body was primed and ready for him just from his closeness. My nipples tightened, and I prayed he wouldn’t notice how aroused I was. His smug smile came two seconds before his hand cupped my breast, and his thumb rubbed over my already hard nipple drawing a gasp from me. I tried to move away, but he pinned me in his arms covering my mouth with his, killing any words of protest, which if I wasn’t even sure I was about to utter. My breath caught in my throat as he thrust his tongue into my open mouth and I melted against him. I’d missed him, missed this. My hands went to his hair, and I fisted the silky strands as his mouth ravaged mine. I was on fire, my body was pulsing with desire and if he stripped my clothes off right now, I wouldn’t say no. Shame hit me at my thoughts even as he kissed me like his life depended on it. I lost all sense of time, letting myself get swept away until he abruptly pulled away. He put a hand out to steady me as I swayed. My legs were like jelly and I was grateful for the kitchen cupboard behind me keeping me upright. I lifted my eyes to his and hate the coldness I saw there, I’d behaved like a sex starved woman and he was cool and calm, apparently unaffected by me. If I hadn’t felt his erection pressing into my stomach, I would think I did nothing for him at all. I shifted my eyes to the floor unable to hold his gaze. The tension was pouring off him and I didn’t understand it, he’d got what he wanted, he’d won so what was his problem?

“Nine o’clock Callie, don’t make my driver wait.” He ordered and then walked out of my kitchen. No goodbye, nothing, but what did I expect, a farewell wave or a kiss on the cheek? I stayed there until I heard my front door close behind him then I slid down the cupboard onto my bum and let my tears fall.

I’d just agreed to marry the man I love like a business deal knowing he hates me and wants revenge. He wants to punish me for cheating on him which was the most ridiculous thing ever because I would never do something like that, I’d hoped the man I love would know that, but obviously, he had no faith in my love, in our love.

I picked myself up off the floor determined to keep myself busy. For some unknown reason, I still couldn’t imagine throwing the painting out when any normal person would want to burn it, especially after today, so I finished hanging it and stood back to take a look.

Twenty-six years I’d waited to lose my virginity, I’d seen my friends sleep with men and saw how unhappy they’d been when they’d split up and I’d decided I would wait for Mr right. It hadn't been hard because no one had caught my eye until Alex. Jon had teased me about waiting for the perfect man, even jokingly offering to be my first lover so I didn’t die a virgin waiting for him to show up, and I’d laughed each time. I knew there was no such thing as a perfect man, but Alex had been perfect for me until he’d turned against me at least. 

With the painting up on my wall, I picked up my phone and dialled Jon’s number. I’d put it off long enough. Jon is the only person I could call a friend. I have acquaintances and work friends but no one I would trust with my life like I do him. How the hell I was going to fool him was beyond me, but at least on the phone, he couldn’t read my face. I couldn’t let him find out it was all a lie because he’d blow his top and do something we’d both regret. Alex will follow through with his threat and ruin Jon and he’s the last person I want to get hurt because of me.

I listened to the ringing with my eyes closed half hoping Jon wouldn’t be there, but unfortunately he answered with a cheerful greeting.

“Hi.” I croaked into the phone.

“Callie. Is everything ok?”

Here goes. “I’m marrying Alex.” I blurted.

“What?” He sounded bewildered, and that’s better than anger, right?

“Alex came to see me a few days ago and apologised for everything. He asked me for another chance.”

“And you gave it to him? Jesus, Callie, have you lost your mind?”

“I suppose it sounds like I have, but I love him.” I didn’t even need to cross my fingers when I said that.

“Oh baby, don’t you remember what he did. What he put you through? How can you forgive him and trust he won’t do it again?”

“It was a misunderstanding Jon,” I told him quietly.

“You’re so naïve, baby. He’s up to something.”

Spot on as usual. “He said he’s missed me and he’s sorry for what he did. He loves me and I love him. I have to give it a chance.”

There’s a pause. Was I convincing enough. “Ok Callie, if you believe him I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, but I still reckon you need to take things slow, get used to him again before you make such a huge commitment.”

“I’m marrying him, Jon. You have every right to be pissed at me, especially as I wouldn’t have got over what he did to me without you, but I’d rather you be happy for me instead.”

“I can’t promise, but I will try.”

“Thank you.” I took a breath. “Will you walk me down the aisle?”

“That’s a lot to ask. Any other man I could manage, but Alex…” He didn’t finish.

“Please, Jon.” I begged.

His sigh was loud. “Ok, on the condition you think this decision through.  I don’t want you to jump in with both feet and realise it’s a huge mistake.”

It is a huge mistake, I silently added. “I promise I will.” I doubted I’d be able to think of anything else.

“Then you have a deal. When is the date?”

Shit. “Alex wants it to be a surprise, so he’s organising everything.”

“You hate surprises.”

“It’s true I do, but this is different.”

“Sure. It sounds like he’s getting everything his way just like before. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I do. He makes me happy.” Geez, the lies kept rolling off my tongue.

“I’ve got to go. When Alex informs you of your own wedding day, let me know.”

I ignored his sarcasm; after all, he was entitled. “You’ll be the first I tell. Speak to you soon?”

“Yes baby, we’ll speak soon.”

“Love you, Jon. Thanks for doing this even if you’d rather pull out your own teeth.”

“Anything for you Callie, you know that.”

“And I’m extremely grateful. Bye-bye.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

I placed the receiver down and dropped my face into my hands. I was so lucky he agreed to give me away because I don’t think I could do it without his strength. He was entitled to tell me, no, to shout at me and tell me off for being stupid for marrying a man who almost broke me, but he didn’t. Instead, he gave me his support.

My tummy rumbled reminding me I’d missed lunch. I wasn’t hungry, but I needed to eat, to keep my up strength for the battle tomorrow. I ate a quick sandwich and washed it down with a glass of milk. A bath was what I needed to relax, a hot, lavender scented one would hopefully wash away my tension, at least for a little while. I ran the taps, pouring a generous amount of bubble bath and waited until it was nearly full. I stepped into the water with a sigh, sinking under the bubbles, closing my eyes I tried to clear my mind as best I could. When the water cooled, I climbed out drying myself with a big fluffy towel and got myself ready for bed. Blanking my mind was not an option and as I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin, I lost the battle and in the darkness of my room; the memories came flooding back so quickly there was no hope of stopping them.

The four months I’d spent with Alex was the most intense, amazing and romantic I’ve ever spent in my life. Four months together and I’d known I’d found my soulmate. The first time I’d seen him had been at Jon’s gallery. I was having a show of my paintings and Alex had been a guest along with Sofia Cooper, his date for the night. I’d been so flustered when we’d been introduced, one look into his eyes and I was lost. Aware I was giving the impression I was nuts, I’d blushed and stammered a quick hello before hurrying off. I’d never been so embarrassed in my entire life, the only thing which made me feel better was knowing I wasn’t likely to see him again as we didn’t run in the same circles. Later on, in the evening, I’d been talking to a potential customer about the inspiration behind one of my paintings when I’d felt heat at my back. I hadn’t needed to turn around to know who was standing there; I don’t know if it was his delicious scent that teased my nostrils or the fact I’d been painfully aware of him all night that made me sure it was Alex, but I’d known. When I’d turned round to face him I’d blushed at the heat in his eyes. He’d asked me to show him my work and after making my excuses to the gentleman I’d been talking to, I’d taken the hand he’d held out for me and let him place it in the crook of his arm.

I’ll never forget that night or the days and nights that followed either. I’d never been so happy. He’d always acted the perfect gentleman. For almost two months we’d kissed and fooled around, but Alex would always pull back before things went too far and it confused me. One night with my face burning in embarrassment I’d asked him if he found me attractive because I’d been worried that he didn’t. The concern on his face still made me smile now. He’d been horrified that I’d thought that and had taken me in his arms before explaining that a woman’s first time should be special and only when she felt ready. That was why he hadn’t pushed me and I could see he was genuine. I’d had tears in my eyes as I’d turned into his arms and given all of myself to him, and that night I’d fallen in love with him even more.

If only I’d known what was coming, I could have kept a part of myself protected. That way he couldn’t have thrown my words into my face at the same time he broke my heart and called me a slut.

I shook my head. I couldn’t understand where he got the idea I’d cheated on him from, but my gut told me Sofia Cooper had something to do with it. The night before he’d thrown me out we’d been at an event, something to do with one of Alex’s business associates and Sofia had been there walking around with a smug smile on her face. I hadn’t given her much thought at the time because she was always like that, always flirting with Alex at every opportunity even though he gave her no notice and brushed her off each time, but that night she’d been different. The journey home had been quiet and that should have been my first clue something was wrong, but Alex had been working late that week trying to get a deal sorted so I’d put it down to that. He’d gone straight to his office when we’d got home which should have alerted me too, but it didn’t. I’d tried to stay awake to talk to him, but I hadn’t managed it. When I’d woken up in the morning, I’d been alone and his side hadn’t looked like he’d slept there. I’d got myself dressed and gone in search of him to find out what was wrong, we hadn’t slept alone since we’d first made love and I’d had a bad feeling in my stomach. Instead of talking to me though he’d threatened me and called me horrible names telling me to leave otherwise he’d have me escorted off his property.

Shock didn’t cover how I’d felt and I couldn’t do anything but stare at him speechless. He’d ignored my obvious confusion and hurt and walked to his office door to open it wide making sure I wouldn’t touch him when I walked out of it like I would contaminate him or something. His eyes had been full of hate and disgust. I hadn’t had time to process what had happened let alone ask him; I saw by the look of him he wouldn’t allow me to waste any more of his precious time and a part of me had died right there. We’d gone from happy to broken without explanations and it had shattered me. Where I’d found the strength I don’t now, but I’d walked out the door with my head held high and up the stairs to the room we shared. I’d packed my things, leaving everything behind he’d ever given me even the rose necklace I’d never taken off since he’d placed it round my neck on our third date, and I’d walked out of the door, and out of his life. I still to this day don't know how I’d got home in one piece, but I’d managed it. Once I’d got through my door, I’d broken down and stayed that way for three days until my tears ran dry and I’d been worried I’d turn into a pizza if I ate any more of it. The next month had been the hardest because my period had been late, I’d lived in a state of panic at the possibility of being pregnant by the man who’d just ruthlessly thrown me out, but my period thankfully arrived and I’d relaxed. The memories weren’t all filled with sadness, but they’re the ones that stand out more because I’ve never understood how someone could treat the person they loved like dirt. Maybe he’d never loved me. I could only hope that once this farce of a marriage was over, I could get over him for real.