Honey took what felt like his first full breath as he leapt out of Elle’s way too fucking tiny car. It was practically claustrophobic in there, nothing at all like the freedom and endless exhilaration of being on the back of a bike, roaring down a stretch of empty highway. What he wouldn’t give to be able to just hop on his motorcycle and ride away. To feel the wind on his face and the smell of a whole world ahead of him.
But he hadn’t want her to drive alone, knowing how terrified she must be to come back to the farm after what had went down just the day before. He gave her a sideways look, taking her paler than normal face and the way her breath came in rushed, shallow pants. Her fingers were still white knuckled on the steering wheel when he leaned down.
“You comin’ Elle? Or are you just planning on sitting this meeting out? Maybe cowering in your car for the next hour or so while we decide what needs to be done.” He said, knowing his words would rile her up enough to forget her fear for a moment. It was worth her look of eye rolling irritation that she glared at him if it took away one ounce of the panic that kept her immobile.
He still didn’t know what to feel or how to react after what had happened between the night before, but he felt that look move all the way through him, even if it was dark with frustrated anger. He didn’t care. As long as she looked at him, that was all that mattered. He couldn’t stand to go another minute, another second without seeing her mysterious, sultry gaze. He wanted to be able to look inside her, to see what was going on in that convoluted brain of hers, but that look was enough. For now.
Because he hated seeing her afraid. Pissed off, angry at him, frustrated. Any of that was better than the gut wrenching terror that had shadowed her beautiful face since they’d first gotten in the car to leave her house.
Something had shifted between them last night, even though he couldn’t put it in words he could feel it. Like Elle was trying to put a distance between them, to separate her from the words that he’d said to her. Well, Honey had no intention of letting that happen, no matter how hard she tried to pretend that it hadn’t happened. He’d been there, right there, and he’d felt the pain after he’d declared his love and she’d just stared at him, shocked, lost. It had been like a knife stabbing straight into his chest and the feeling hadn’t left. It was still there, a reminder that there was still a whole hell of a lot of unfinished business between the two of them.
Honey almost cursed to himself as he glanced around. But here wasn’t the place to hash it out. Over the long, endless, sleepless night he’d decided to give her some room to think about what he’d said, to let it sink in. But by the tension that had settled around them like a shroud he wondered if maybe he should have chased after her the night before. Make her listen to him. To believe him.
He mentally shook his head. It was in the past now, and he didn’t know what the fuck to do about it except keep moving forward, keep putting one foot in front of the other. Because there was one thing that he did know, with a certainty that rocked him to the core. He had meant every word he’d told her the night before. He’d told her nothing but the simple truth. He loved her. He’d loved her since the first moment he’d laid eyes on her. Now, he just had to figure out how to make her believe them, too.
“Come on, Elle. You can’t hide in there forever,” Honey finally said, prodding her again, knowing just what buttons to push. Even though Elle was one of the most foolishly, recklessly courageous people he’d ever met, and that was saying something considering he was a member of a motorcycle gang, she was terrified that she was a coward at heart. It couldn’t be further from the truth.
“I am not hiding!” She said, in that prim and proper teacher’s voice that always put him in mind of the first time he’d overheard one of her piano lessons. The first time he’d seen her play. Her fingers had flown across the keys like they had a mind of their own, weightless, magic. It had also been the first time he’d ever seen her completely relaxed, totally comfortable with herself.
He understood now that there was a lot more to her anxiety around other people, and stressful situations, than he first realized. She was complex. Like a puzzle he was trying to put together without having all the pieces. Lucky for her, he was willing to spend as much time as it took to figure her out. He didn’t plan on going anywhere.
Honey waited breathlessly to see if his bait would work and sure enough a moment later he heard her door creak open and then slam shut with more force than strictly necessary before her shuffling footsteps brought her around the car and back into view.
He took a moment, looking around the parking lot to give Elle a chance to get her bearings back and his gaze flitted over the familiar truck, and the three bikes that were already parked there. Carla and Joel where there already. He recognized Tucker’s and Hot Wheels’ motorcycles, and that left the third which looked slightly familiar but not enough for him to place.
Honey prayed silently that Joel had found some still loyal members of the Dirty Cruisers to bring in but he wasn’t holding his breath. He knew how bad things had been getting. The club was already on edge with everything that had happened with Maurice, and then this thing with the farm, going straight. It hadn’t set well with a lot of people and Viper had known just how to manipulate that.
He turned to walk towards the office, where he assumed the rest of the their pathetically small group was already waiting but they barely made it four or five steps before he realizes that Elle had drawn to a stop a few feet behind him. Honey watched her for a long moment, his eyes tracing the spot her own were glued to as her face went somehow even paler.
For a moment, he was worried she might pass out then and there, it looked like she wasn’t even breathing. Just staring straight at the spot where that asshole Scorpion had shoved her against the wall and threatened her.
Rage clouded his vision for a moment as he remembered, just as he was sure she was, and he doubted whether it was the best decision for her to come back so soon after the attack. He also knew that it wasn’t his decision to make, and knowing Elle, she would be up in arms if he even mentioned a word of his thoughts, yelling at him about how she made a promise or some such.
Without a second thought he walked the few short steps separating them, and reached out. As her hand slid into his, something clicked inside of him. As if there’d been something missing all the past years and he’d never noticed, never even known until he’d held Elle’s hand. Such a simple thing but it shot through him like a tremor and had his chest tightening with the unfamiliar emotion.
He felt resistance for a moment but he held tight. As much as she tried to pretend like this didn’t affect her he could feel the trembling in her fingers, in the way her breath hitched at the contact and she leaned a little closer to him. Honey doubted she was even aware of the unconscious move but it had warmth blooming inside him.
“It’s okay.” He said softly, startling Elle and she turned her big dark eyes on him. For a moment it felt like drowning before he pulled himself back, focusing on the words he had to say, the words she had to hear.
“It’s okay,” he said again, “It’s okay to let me help you. Just this once.” He paused, staring at her, struck as always by how beautiful she was, how untarnished by the cruelty of the world despite everything she’d gone through. “It’s okay, Elle. You don’t have to be the strong one all the time.”
“The strong one?” Elle snorted the question cynically and he knew she wasn’t asking for an answer, but he gave her one anyways.
“Yeah, the strong one. You always have to take care of yourself, you always have to take care of everyone else. But when are you going to let someone else take care of you, Elle?” Honey shook his head, desperately wanting to draw her closer but he could see the stiffness in her shoulders, the tension in the way she held herself ramrod straight, “There’s a difference between being strong, and being brittle. I hope you figure that out before you break.”
Honey turned back towards the office, Elle’s hand still clutched in his and even though she didn’t say anything else as they walked, neither did she try and pull her hand away from his and for some reason, that small, negligible thing had hope burning like a beacon inside him. Hope for Elle. Hope for them.
As they walked into the office Elle spotted Carla and quickly headed in her direction leaving Honey standing there, already missing the feel of her moving next to him. Joel, Hot Wheels and Tucker all had their heads together as a fourth man, one he recognized as a member of their rivals the Nomads, Sparkplug. He barely had a moment to wonder why the other man was there at all before his question was being answered.
“Sparkplug brought some new information to light that we all need to know about,” Joel said softly, but even so it drew everyone’s attention. For the millionth time Honey wondered how any of the crew members could doubt Joel’s ability to lead when he’d seen it in action time and time again.
Everyone walked closer until they were all standing around the small round table that Joel, and the other three were already arranged around. Joel cleared his throat.
“Sparkplug, if you wouldn’t mind?” Joel said stolidly. The other man looked surprised for an instant but then nodded slowly before speaking.
“Alright. I’ll keep it short,” The big man spoke, his voice gruff but his eyes direct as they moved from person to person, “Before I…left the Nomads I found out that Damaris, our leader, cut a deal with Viper. Apparently, before all that shit went down with the Dirty Cruisers, that asshole had approached other crews, told them about the farm, and Joel’s plan.”
“That’s why I haven’t been able to get a jump on anyone,” Hot Wheels fumed quietly, but at a look from Sparkplug she grew silent once more.
“Like I was saying, Viper cut a deal with Damaris. In return for a percentage of the weed for dirt cheap, Damaris would back Viper if there was a split in the Cruisers. He promised help taking over the crew, and the farm.”
“The farm!” Carla cried out, a horrified look on her face, “they can’t do that! They can’t just think that they can walk in here and I’d sign in over to them.”
“Actually, that’s exactly what Damaris thinks, Carla.” Sparkplug shook his head slowly, “And believe me, with enough…pressure…you would. You would do anything they say.”
“That’s not true,” Carla replied weakly, and Joel reached over and held her hand, a sad look shining in his silver eyes.
“You would. But it doesn’t matter because we’re not going to let it get that far.” He said, his voice solid, not a hint of the fear showing that merged with the sadness in his gaze.
“What–What are we gonna do, sugar?” Hot Wheels finally spoke up, asking the question that everyone else was thinking, “Damaris has a mean streak as wide as the Mississippi.”
“She’s right.” Sparkplug interjected, “You need to take him down all at once, otherwise he’ll retaliate. And he has no mercy when it comes to his enemies. Or his friends either, really.”
Joel was silent for another long minute while he thought, and Honey took advantage of the moment to sneak a sideways glance to his right where Elle was standing next to him. Her face was still pale, but there was a light in her eyes now. A protective light. A light that said she really cared about these people and what happened to them, and that meant the world to Honey because in reality, they were his true family. Them, and Elle too if she would ever admit it.
“Okay. I’ve got an idea, but it might be crazy,” Joel started and Hot Wheels snorted.
“Sugar, what we need right now is bat shit. Go ahead.”
“We don’t have the man power to face the Nomad’s head on. I did some digging at the clubhouse and there’s a lot of tension. A lot of the crew members are uneasy with Viper and any loyalty to him is starting to crumble except for the new guys he brought in but I guess there’ve been some…examples made of people trying to leave. It would take me weeks to make any headway there.”
“We don’t have weeks,” Sparkplug said, interrupting, and Joel just gave him a solemn nod of agreement.
“No, we don’t.”
“We might not even have days.”
“I know. Which is why this plan just might work. We need to pit Viper and the Nomads against each other. Viper doesn’t know that the Nomads are trying to undercut him and make a deal with me directly and the Nomad’s don’t know how unstable things are within the Cruisers. If we could play them against each other, it might just be the spark we need to let them destroy each other and give us enough time to come up with plan b.”
“What’s plan b?” Elle asked, the first time she’d spoken since they walked in and the sound of her voice soothed something wild inside him.
“Plan b is what we do after all this shit hits the fan.” It was Hot Wheels who answered, but Honey shook his head.
“How?” It was only one word but Joel understood, and for some reason he looked uneasy.
“We send someone in, to the Nomad’s. As a mole, pretending to be one of Viper’s. They let slip that the deal is off, that Viper wants more. If Damaris knows Viper it should be easy to convince him that the man’s getting greedy. Make the demands so unreasonable that Damaris has no choice but to either back out, or confront Viper. Either way, it’s another crack in the already weak ties that’s keeping the Cruisers together.”
“But…our family.” Hot Wheels said, a profound sadness in her voice at the thought of watching their crew implode. Honey knew exactly how she felt, and by the looks on their faces so did Tucker and Joel. Even Carla wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. But then Joel’s words finally registered and a sudden anger filled him.
“This is a great plan and all, I mean even assuming that it works, but you’re forgetting one thing. Damaris knows all of us. And the Nomads. They all know us. And they damn well know that we are not one of Viper’s thugs. How is this plan of yours supposed to work if we don’t even have someone we can send in as a mole?” Honey fumed from his side of the table, staring everyone down and it took a few minutes to realize that Joel’s silver gaze wasn’t on him, but just to his right.
“Damaris doesn’t know all of us, Honey.” He said softly, finally flicking his eyes towards him and Honey’s whole body went stiff with shock as the implication of what his friend and leader was saying hit home.
“Oh, hell no! You can’t mean what I think you mean! That’s…that’s insane! That’s completely mental! There’s no way in hell that’s going to work, Joel. It’s crazy!”
“I know,” Joel said on a soul deep sigh, “But it’s the only chance we’ve got. Unless you’ve got a better idea?”