When my phone finally charges, I see the text she sent me.

Don’t be upset. I just need a few days. XOXO - P.

I want to smash the phone.

When I scroll up and see the one she sent before that, though, I want to fuck her, cuff her to me, show her damn father, and prove she didn’t run away … but she fucking did, so I’m still confused.

Still tired, still in pain, but thank you. Day made. It sounds crazy, but I want it to last, too. BTW, I think you’re going to be a lot of fun to grow old with. XXX - P.

I scroll up, and then … then I feel like I’m going to have a fucking heart attack. I didn’t send the fucking thing. I just made a damn note of some of the shit I wanted to tell her. Fucking Siri.

Love, that four-letter word describes a feeling that’s definition is never the same and is ever-changing. Without honesty, respect, and loyalty, there is no way it will last.

I want it to last.

I try to call once and am denied. Then I lose my shit and do it over and over, denied every time.

Then I get a text

This is Nikki. Paige is asleep, and I won’t wake her. She’s exhausted. Advice: let her come to you, Vincent. She will come to you. She’s in love with you.

In love is intended to put me at ease. It doesn’t. In love is a totally different monster, a new monster. In love technically means she can leave it at any time and be out of love. I’m not going to let that happen either.

* * *

The next night, on the plane before take-off, I check for a message. I’ve given her time, at least one fucking night and a two full days. Isn’t that enough?

Trying to stop from driving myself crazy, I check my email and see one I have been expecting, that is important, but in all the mess today, was forgotten. I will make a shitty businessman.

From: Cyrus Steel

Subject: Information you requested.

Message:

This guy’s a fucking joke. He’s hung himself. You won’t have to do a thing.

If you think he’s dangerous, let me send someone down. From what I understand, you’re balls deep in a blonde you’ve been dying to nail and a business you have no intention of owning.

Life’s a fucking trip, Vincent. Hang on and enjoy the ride.

No Regrets.

Cyrus

I shoot him a reply before take-off.

From: Vincent

Subject: Requesting a meeting tomorrow.

Message:

I’m coming up to Jersey.. Let me know the best time to meet tomorrow.

Vincent

* * *

“Here is fine,” I tell the cab driver when we are a block from my old place.

After paying him, I grab my bags and step out, inhaling the scent of the Jersey shore as I walk to the gate, one I know is secure, and punch in a code designed to not trigger the system.

I see two vehicles, both are recognizable. One belongs to Nikkolette O’Donnell and the other to her husband Abe.

I walk up to the house, punch in another code, also designed not to alert anyone that I am here.

No, I’m not trying to scare them. I’m not trying to prove a point that I can get in. I’m simply avoiding the inevitable argument I will have at one in the morning with the O’Donnells who will wake her and cause her to feel like she has to choose sides. In essence, I am being selfish as fuck because I need her, but I can’t help feeling like she needs me as much.

I walk into the room that she has stayed in dozens of times and set the bags on the floor before toeing off my shoes. Then I sit on the edge of the bed beside her, and she rolls over, eyes fluttering open. As soon as she sees me, her bottom lip immediately pouts out.

The Paige pout, I think, fighting the urge to kiss her, I put my finger against it and whisper, “No talking. No arguing. No lying. No sneaking. No more, Paige.”

She nods and does the one thing that makes every nerve in my body that has been on high fucking alert relax. She wraps her hands around mine and holds it against her face.

“Are you tired?” I ask.

She nods, and from the light of the moon, I see tears forming in her sad eyes.

“So am I.”

As she moves over, I pull the duvet back and slide under it. She rests her head against my chest and wraps her arm around me, whispering, “I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

I can’t tell her it’s okay, because it’s not. Then again, I clearly hurt her in some way that I don’t even know of. Right now, knowing this could be the last night I get to hold her, I don’t give a fuck.

I press my lips to the top of her head, inhale the scent of her, and then whisper, “Paige, if you don’t want this—us—you need to tell me so I can figure out what I need to do.”

She pushes up and looks at me. Sad, confused, she’s a fucking mess.

“I-I—”

“Not now. Tomorrow.”

She shakes her head as the tears fall in buckets now. “I’m not pregnant.”

I feel like I can breathe for the first time since learning she left.

“You left because you’re not pregnant? You thought I would be, what? Angry? Disappointed?” I grab her face. “Lady, if you want a baby, you’re gonna have to stop swallowing.” I laugh, and she begins to sob. “Holy fuck, Paige. If you want a baby, we can absolutely step it up. You won’t hear me complain.” I laugh again as I hug her tightly, and she sobs as she clings to my shirt.

“I’m not pregnant,” she cries out louder this time.

“Okay, okay, Paige. It’s okay.”

I think she’s losing her fucking mind. Then I wonder if I missed something while looking into her all those years ago, and again when she left Italy. Maybe she has some sort of mental health issue.

When the door opens and the light turns on, I hear a loud gasp before my eyes adjust and see Nikki and Abe.

“What are you doing here?” Nikki’s tone is accusatory, and it pisses me off.

“I don’t want him to see me like this,” Paige cries against my chest.

“Well then, he needs to leave,” Nikki says as she sits on the side of the bed and tries to pull her toward her. “Let her go,” she spews at me.

I glare at her yet say nothing. I don’t tell her that Paige is still clinging to me and clearly wants me here, and I don’t tell her I wouldn’t leave if she wasn’t.

“Nikkolette,” Abe says, putting his hand on her shoulder.

“She doesn’t want him here!”

He looks at me, running his hand through his hair, and sighs.

“Tell him to leave,” she says, tugging on Paige again.

“Nikkolette, she’s holding his shirt; she clearly wants him here. Let’s leave them alone.”

“Paige, do you want him here?” Nikki seems confused, which I of course read into as Paige said something to lead her to believe she doesn’t.

Paige sniffs loudly and holds me tighter.

“That’s a yes, Nikkolette.” Abe reaches out his hand, and she eventually takes it, letting him lead her out of the room.

After several minutes, Paige sits back and wipes her eyes, still sniffing.

I reach toward the nightstand and grab a tissue, which she takes from me. Then I grab the whole box. She clearly is going to need it.

I hand her tissue after tissue as I watch her wipe her nose, blow her nose, pat her face, wipe away tears, taking in deep breaths that quiver, looking at me like she wants to say something, and then tries to even out her breathing again. It’s exhausting, and it fucking hurts because I have no clue how to make this any better.

I’m pretty sure I can’t buy the fix, but I’m also more than sure that the strength I have always seen in her will shine through and hopefully soon.

“I look like an idiot,” she whispers.

“You’re beautiful, Paige, but I’m going to have to agree with you.”

Her jaw drops, and she gasps.

“Come on, Paige, get pissed.”

“I am pissed,” she almost yells … almost.

I can’t help smiling.

She shakes her head. “This isn’t funny.”

“No, the past two days have kind of sucked.”

I swear she’s going to cry again.

“Because you weren’t there. But I woke up yesterday in bed with another woman.”

“Right.” She rolls her eyes.

“I should take offense to the fact that you think I’m that undesirable.” I push back the hair that is stuck to her face. “Your Babička doesn’t.”

She looks up at me, trying not to smile.

“Your mother busted in before anything major happened, and your dad got a picture.”

Now she does smile. “You’re making this up.”

I shake my head. “I’ve never been more thankful for not waking up hard.”

Now she laughs.

“Now, you tell me something about your time here.”

“I found out I’m not pregnant, and I”—she looks down—“I don’t think I can have babies.”

When her eyes start to fill up again, I want to keep the conversation going so she doesn’t cry. Hell, I would rather have her pissed than cry.

“Your father kidnapped me yesterday.”

When she rolls her eyes again, I tell her the entire story, and it’s not fucking easy, but I do.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault, and—”

“It ended well,” I stop her from apologizing.

“Yeah?”

“Just had to talk it through. Today I tried to keep busy, give you space, but well, we see that wasn’t possible.”

She swallows hard and looks away. “I took a test at home, and it was positive.”

I’m confused and a bit fucking pissed off that she didn’t mention it.

“I needed them … I needed my friends because”—she pulls her knees to her chest and buries her head in them—“they were here the last time.”

I have no damn clue what she is talking about, so I ask, “The last time?”

She rests the side of her head on her knees and looks at me. “The first time I had sex, I got pregnant, and I didn’t keep it.” Her lip quivers. “I was eighteen. He was—”

“Warren.” I try to remain calm, but it’s fucking Warren. “He made you—”

She shakes her head. “I hated him. After everything he did, that I allowed, I didn’t want his baby. And Pace was finally going to college, he’d given up on his dreams and stayed at the marina, waited years until he saved enough to go. My older brother was going to start college after I had. I couldn’t ask my family to …” She stops and buries her face in her knees again. “I think he did it on purpose. I think he went after Pace because of me. I think Pace will never be a father, and I think … I think I won’t ever be a mother either.”

“I’m a little confused here, Paige. You took a test, and it said you were pregnant. You ran off to your friends because you, what, wanted to terminate?”

She pops her head up and scowls at me. “No! No, because I’m overwhelmed, because I have had false positives in the past, because you want me to be mayor, and you bought … everything. I needed them to ground me, to let me be batshit crazy if I felt the need. But most of all, Vincent, I needed them to be here when I took another test, because they know … they know what I’ve been through, and they know how to …”

“How to what?”

“Let me fall apart,” she whispers as she lies back, turns on her side, her back to me, and curls up in a fetal position.

“You could’ve done that with me, Paige.” I lie on my side and pull her against me.

She’s quiet for a while, and then she whispers, “I don’t want Pace to know that Warren went after him because of me. How awful is that?”

“What good will it do?”

I’m going to ruin that motherfucker.

“I’m sorry to have to be the one to point out the obvious, but we need a tie breaker test.”

“I don’t want to do that. I’m not pregnant, and if you want kids, I can’t give them to you, so—”

“Your girls and you become doctors, Paige?”

She pulls away and sits up. “I’m not pregnant! I’m not, and I don’t need another test.”

“Do I get a say in this?”

“Did I get a say when you came inside me?” Oh, now she’s pissed, and oddly, that is such a fucking turn on.

“You mean the time you tied me up and—”

“Oh, my God, shut up,” she scolds then looks around like someone might hear me.

“Then you shut up.” I poke her in the chest, not hard, just enough to instigate her.

She bats my hand away, and I catch it in mine.

“Last time, were you all over the place emotionally? Because I’m thinking so.”

She scowls at me.

“Last time, did you throw up like you did on the boat?”

“I get seasick,” she huffs, trying to pull her hand away.

I can’t help smiling, and she can’t help looking at me like I’m crazy.

“No, actually, you don’t.” I laugh.

“Yes, I do.”

“Fine. Now might not be the time to discuss all that, but I want to point out that I can obviously handle your breakdowns. I can also tell you that you need to take another test or go to the doctors to find out.”

She shakes her head like she’s afraid.

She’s not afraid. Hell, she’s not even Paige right now. She’s pregnant.

“Stop looking at me like that.” She flops back on the bed. “And don’t put ideas in your head that this is gonna all work out.”

“Stop putting it in your head that I would want you any less whether you’re pregnant or not, whether you are ever pregnant or not. I want you. You hear me?”

“Vincent …” she sighs then closes her eyes.

I lean over, placing one hand on each side of her head, and she opens her eyes.

“Your dad told me something yesterday.”

“You mentioned that already. I’m sorry.”

“He mentioned that, when you were little, you used to beg to go out on the fishing boat with him and Pace. Said he wanted you to dream, create, laugh, and learn from everyone around you. Said you’d find your warrior prince and be the thing that held his world together. I told him that was great.” I move one leg between hers, and her body tenses. “But I don’t want you to hold it together, Paige. I want you to fucking own it.

“Kids”—I kiss her forehead and keep my lips on it—“or no kids, doesn’t matter much to me. I just want to be that guy who you look to when you want to fall apart.” I kiss her cheek. “The one you look for when you are victorious.” I kiss her other cheek. “The one who protects you when you’re at your weakest.” I kiss her chin. “The one who holds your secrets.” I kiss her neck. “And the one to control your desire.” I hover over her lips now, and she lifts her to meet mine, but I don’t let her kiss me.

I reach between us to unbutton and unzip my pants, pulling them down enough to pull my cock out. Then I push her panties to the side.

“Tell me you trust me,” I say, running my finger up and down her already damp seam.

Her back arches as she whispers, “I trust you.”

“I trust you, too.” I grab my cock and rub it against her pussy. “Tell me you’ll be loyal to me.” I use my finger to spread her just enough to rub my dick against her slick heat.

“I’ll be loyal,” she moans out.

“I’ll always be loyal to you.” I push in a little, and her hips buck up, so I pull back. “What else do we need, Paige?”

“Honesty,” she pants out.

“Good answer.” I thrust hard and fully, watching her eyes widen and her breath momentarily lost to her.

Giving her a moment to feel how I feel when I look at her, I then pull out completely, leaving her empty.

“Which do you like better: all in or all out?”

“In.” She wraps her legs around me.

“How do you feel right now, Paige?”

“Empty,” she says, trying to pull my hips down with her legs.

“Now you know how I felt for the past two days.”

Her lip does the full-on Paige pout.

“Now tell me you love me.”

“I …” She closes her eyes, but I want them fucking open, so I slam into her now soaked cunt. “Vincent!”

“Tell me you love me!”

When she doesn’t say a word, I slam back into her then don’t move.

Again, she opens her eyes as I swivel my hips, trying to prepare her.

“Tell me the truth!” I groan as my cock swells even more.

“I love you.”

“You fucking better, because a baby doesn’t scare me. Neither does the thought of not having them.” I pull out and slam into her again. “But loving a woman who takes off when she needs me the most”—I pull out fully, leaving her empty—“it’s wrong.”

“I love you, but—”

“Paige, I more than love you.”

She lifts her hand from my shoulder and grabs my hair, pulling me down to her hungry and fucking demanding mouth.

Sucking on her tongue like I want to her clit, I line myself up to drive the point home and slam into her. “I love you.” I pull out and slam into her repeatedly while releasing her tongue and pulling her tank top down. “I love your tits, Paige.” I pull out. “I love your tight, wet pussy that takes everything I give it.” I slam into her. “I love your ass and can’t wait to fuck it.” I pull out. “I love you. You understand what that means?” I slam into her again, and she cries out my name.

“Love. You,” she cries.

“That’s fucking right you do.”

I fuck her like she needs to be fucked right now. The kind of fucking that says I’m in control. The kind of fucking she’s going to come to love, because she loves to come.

When I feel her contract, I demand, “Come for me.”

“Yes!” she cries.

“I’m going to fill your pussy, Paige, because you and I both know it doesn’t much matter either way.”

She begins meeting me thrust for thrust, and when she comes, I do, too, making good on my promise.

Lying on top of her, she whispers, “I love you.”

I whisper back, “I more than love you.”

We kiss softly, gently, in no hurry, until she falls asleep, my cock still inside her. I decided that’s where it will stay.

All. Night. Long.