The Flight
You can do this.
‘Whisky, please. A double.’
‘Magenta, are you sure? They’re about to serve breakfast.’ Amber was concerned. She and her family met me at Gatwick for our flight out to Guadeloupe. She wasn’t alarmed, first of all, when I strolled up to her, her husband, and two daughters, pushing my two suitcases on a trolley and wearing dark glasses. It was only after her youngest, Tallulah, jumped all over me, grabbed my glasses, and almost poked out her right eye trying to put them on that Amber acknowledged the Anthony gap in the airport – and my puffy, bloodshot eyes.
She craned her head around the busy hall.
‘Is Anthony buying some duty free or something?’ she asked. I was bouncing Tallulah on my hip.
‘Oh, didn’t I tell you?’ I said. ‘There was a massive panic at the gallery. One of his paintings went missing and he has to answer some police questions.’
‘You’re joking,’ she said. ‘How could that happen? Do they think it was an inside job?’
‘Probably.’
‘Definitely. I mean, they’ve got security cameras, right?’
‘Right,’ I said. ‘So I guess it was … an inside job.’ I plopped Tallulah to standing. ‘You guys are all checked in; I’d better do the same. I’ll meet you over by the chairs.’ I signalled with my head and pushed the trolley to check-in.
I joined the queue, which seemed to move at a steady speed. I was a good twenty minutes or so later arriving at the airport than we’d planned but I’d found it very hard to peel myself from the bed. Not that I was enjoying the sleep – I hadn’t slept much at all – but I was completely drained, bewildered, and feeling as if I was looking at CCTV footage of myself and not being a part of my own body.
Mother, Father, Indigo and her husband, and Ebony all had a later flight. The plan was that we’d meet for dinner at our hotel that evening when all the celebrating would begin. Most of the thirty-strong wedding party would be arriving later. Anya was due to arrive the day before the wedding.
‘I got you a coffee,’ said Amber’s husband, Dom, when I’d finally checked in.
‘Thanks, you’re a life-saver.’
He handed me the Starbucks cup. ‘Amber told me to get it. Said you looked really knackered.’
‘Oh, thanks a lot.’ I looked over at Amber who was doing a balancing act with her daughters. One on each leg: Sandrine, who was seven, and Tallulah, who was two.
‘So where did you say Anthony was?’ Dom asked.
‘He woke up with a really bad stomach bug. Crapping all over the place … well in the loo but, like, really a lot.’
‘Oh.’ Dom nodded up and down slowly. ‘I see.’
I tried to close my eyes on the plane. I needed to sleep because I was feeling exhausted but Amber wanted to talk. She was as chatty as little Tallulah who had made a drama of the seating arrangements. She wanted to be by the window, next to Aunty Magenta, and have Mummy nearby. After take-off I was sandwiched between a fidgeting two-year-old and a non-stop-talking big sister who sat staring at my double whisky as if it was a package of cocaine. She looked at Tallulah and then whispered to me that she was at an impressionable age.
‘I’ll tell her it’s apple juice,’ I said to Amber.
‘If you do, she’ll say she wants some.’ Amber rolled her eyes. ‘Come on, Tallulah, let’s go to the toilet.’
Tallulah made another fuss about not needing the toilet, wanting Aunty Magenta to take her, and wanting some apple juice. In the end Amber lifted her above my head, marched her along the aisle, and stayed away long enough for me to knock the whisky/apple juice back.
Arriving on such a beautiful island only made the regret I had for talking to Anthony the way I had worse. While I was quite sure that breaking up was the only thing we could have done, my heart was still breaking in two.
At our hotel we were shown up to our rooms. Amber had to wrestle Tallulah away from me because she insisted she wanted a room with Aunty Magenta. I was enjoying the close cuddles in the taxi from the airport. I needed some physical comfort and Tallulah supplied that in spades as she buried her head of curly hair into my shoulder, sucked two of her fingers, and twiddled with my hair at the same time.
She smelled of sweet things like biscuits and fruity drinks. I would love to have carried on cuddling her if I hadn’t had this strong desire to throw open the hotel room door, fling myself onto the bed, and start crying like a baby.
Lying on the bed I checked my phone for the umpteenth time. There was no message from Anthony and no missed calls. It was all quiet from his end, though what I was expecting him to say after tossing him out of his own home, I have no idea. I wondered if he was as lost and bewildered as me.
After a few hours, I woke with a thick head but finally I’d had a much-needed, deep sleep. It was dark outside my window. I hadn’t even opened them when I arrived and the room, colourful in shades of blue and yellow, was hot and stuffy.
After throwing the patio doors open I stepped onto the balcony and heard voices and faint music from below. My room was above a large patio garden where fairy lights were lit and the sound of crickets at full volume was suddenly very noticeable. I thought I’d be able to see them hovering right by my head.
I went in to check the time. It was seven o’clock local time and I was supposed to be at dinner with the family. There was a missed call from Amber saying, “Tried knocking but you were out for the count. Whisky? We’re in the restaurant.”
As soon as she saw me enter the restaurant, Mother rushed in from the outside table the family occupied. She almost knocked me over, grabbing me by my upper arms and pulling me into a hug.
‘Darling, are you okay?’ she asked me.
‘Yes,’ I said and hugged her back. ‘Why do you ask?’
‘You look a bit, I don’t know, foggy. Maybe you need a vitamin or something.’
‘I’m just tired.’
Mother looked over her shoulder at the others and then back to me. ‘Is Anthony too tired to come down?’ she asked.
‘Er, no, Mother,’ I said, puzzled. ‘Didn’t Amber tell you? He’s not coming.’
‘Goodness me, why ever not?’
‘Family emergency. His mother. Taken suddenly unwell.’
Mother put her hands to her face. ‘Not serious, I hope. I mean will he join us later?’
‘It’s doubtful,’ I said.
‘Oh I am sorry to hear that, darling.’ She took my hand and led me outside to the table. ‘But don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll all work out fine in the end. You’ll see.’
I put on a brave face, smiled and kissed everyone. Mother put her hands up before she sat down.
‘Don’t bombard Magenta with questions about Anthony. He can’t be here for right now but our thoughts are with him and Magenta will keep us posted about his progress, won’t you, darling?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Come on, everyone. It’s not the end of the world. Let’s just relax and enjoy our time together and celebrate.’ I gestured towards Mother and Father. ‘The only ones we need to focus on are these two adorable people.’
‘Hear, hear,’ said Amber raising a glass of wine. I scanned the table for a bottle, topped my glass almost to the brim, and started drinking.
Amber raised an eyebrow so I put down my glass and picked up the menu at my place setting. The next few days were going to be long and extremely tense. I hoped not to have any more questions about Anthony. I needed to stay focused, not mention the break-up and, hopefully, avoid having a nervous breakdown until after the wedding.