Chapter5
Jasmine saw Cameron about once or twice a week for different things; outings to the park to walk, dinner out, movies, classical music concerts. Every time they saw each other they grew closer, holding hands, holding each other, and kissing; sometimes just a little, and sometimes when there was no one else around, a bit more, leaving them thinking about things beyond kissing.
They didn’t talk about where it was going, or what they might want beyond it, but they both savored the time that they shared and each other’s company, and both of them were glad and relieved that they had admitted it to each other and had found that they both wanted to share it with one another.
She reached the middle of her fifth month, and went see Dr. Clayton alone even though Cameron had mentioned going with her to one of the appointments. She wasn’t ready for him to find out that the child that she was carrying was a girl.
Jasmine had begun talking with him about the possibility of having a girl be the heir he was looking for, but every time she brought it up he said that he was focused on having a son, and she realized just much it meant to him. She felt like she needed more time to convince him that it could be fine another way.
She went to the appointment on her own, and Andrew was happy to see her, and though he was professional with her concerning the baby, making sure that they were both healthy and that the baby was growing as it should, when the appointment was done, he brought up the possibility of dating her again.
He spoke with a kind tone, his eyes steady on her as they talked. “Jasmine, I’m going to ask you again because you haven’t told me no, and I don’t want to lose the chance that you might at some point say yes, but have you considered dating me? Have you given any thought to it?”
She sighed. She wasn’t at all surprised that he was asking her again, and in fact she had suspected that he would bring it up again, but she still wasn’t sure that she wanted to date him, especially since things between her and Cameron had changed the way that they had.
“Dr. Clayton,” she began and he stopped her with a smile, holding his hand up.
“Andrew, please. Truly, at this point, you should be calling me Andrew.” He spoke with a friendly tone.
She sighed a little and nodded. “Okay, Andrew, I know you’re interested in me, and I know that you’re a good man and that you’d probably be a good person for me to date, but it’s just a little strange for me, thinking about being with you on a date. Besides the fact that you’re my doctor and I’m your patient, I’m pregnant with another man’s baby that you put inside of me. It’s just… a little strange, that’s all. I can’t seem to get past that to get to the idea of dating you, though I know that it would probably be fun and I’d probably enjoy it quite a bit. Do you see what I mean?” she asked, hoping that he could somehow see her side of it.
He gave her a thoughtful nod. “I do understand that, and I can definitely see your point, but there are some extenuating circumstances here. Yes, I am your doctor, but only until this baby is born. After that I won’t be your doctor anymore, and that’s only a few months away. In addition to that, you might be pregnant right now, but you aren’t keeping the baby; the baby is going to be gone, and then you’ll be on your own. No baby, no man, no pregnancy, and it would be just you and me like we were any other new dating couple. So, there’s that to think about.
The other thing is that since Mr. Elliot doesn’t want a girl and he only wants a boy, you might wind up with this child and if you do then I want you to know that I’m glad to be around for that. I don’t mind dating you if you have this baby and keep it. That’s not a turn off for me or a deal breaker. I’m in the business of babies because I love them. Babies don’t bother me. I’d really like it if you gave this some serious thought.”
She gave him a nod. “I’ll think about it. You make some good points, but when it comes down to brass tacks, I just really feel like I’m not ready for anything like that right now.”
He sighed and gave her a half smile. “I can respect that. I don’t want to push, but you haven’t really said no, and I don’t want to give up on you if there is any chance at all that it might happen. You’re worth going after, and you’re worth getting, and I’m going to keep trying until I either succeed with you, or you kick me to the curb.” He laughed a little then and she laughed as well.
“For now, you and the baby are both doing really well and that’s the priority. Keep up the good work with the lifestyle that you’re leading right now. Everything that you are doing is working really well for you both, so keep it up.” He gave her a wink as he headed out of the door. “I’ll see you next month, unless you call me first.”
She readied herself to leave and was just heading into the lobby when she saw Eva Cruz come in; the other woman who was pregnant with Cameron’s other baby. She froze in mid-step when she saw the lovely woman walking in, and she managed to recover before the woman looked up and saw her.
Eva blinked when she saw her, and smiled as she waved. “Hello! It’s Jasmine, right?” she asked coming toward Jasmine with her hand extended.
Jasmine shook the other woman’s hand. “Yes, good memory. Eva Cruz, correct?” Jasmine asked, wishing that the other woman’s name hadn’t been emblazoned on her memory.
“Yes, that’s right!” Eva grinned at her. “How’s your pregnancy going?”
Jasmine smiled. “It’s going very well.” She placed her hand over her belly and thought of the little girl beneath her palm. She looked down at Eva’s belly. It was becoming more round. She wondered if Eva was carrying the son that Cameron so desperately wanted.
“And you? How is your baby coming along?” she asked in return.
Eva grinned and patted her belly. “Everything is perfect. Healthy and happy.” She stopped then and held her finger up to Jasmine as if she had just come up with an idea. “You know, I’m glad that I ran into you. I just started taking a birthing class, and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done. Maybe it could be of some help to you! If you like, I’ll give you my number, and we can go to lunch and I’ll tell you all about it. I’d love to chat with you. Would you mind? Would you be interested in going to lunch with me?”
Her bright smile and beautiful eyes were set on Jasmine, and Jasmine felt as if she didn’t want to say no, as there was really no reason in the world why she should. She might wind up being friends with the woman at some point, and she could use the help of a birthing class, and she thought to herself that if she was to have lunch with Eva, she could ask her about the gender of her baby without seeming nosy.
“Yes, that sounds great! Let me give you my number. I’d be glad to go out and have lunch with you.” Jasmine recited her phone number for Eva as Eva put it into her phone, and then sent Jasmine a text.
“Oh, that’s me. That’s my number. So just call me when you have some free time and we’ll go have lunch and talk! I’d be so glad to visit with you!” Eva beamed at her and Jasmine gave her a wave as she walked out of the door and Eva took a seat to wait for her appointment.
She went out to dinner with Cameron that night and told him about the doctor visit, leaving out the details that her doctor was still keenly interested in taking her out on a date, and that she was having a girl. Neither one of those subjects was anything that she wanted to discuss with Cameron. Instead they talked about just about everything else.
When the evening was done, he took her home and stood on her front porch with her, holding her close to him and kissing her, pausing now and then to feel the baby moving inside of her. As their kisses grew more heated and longer lasting, and they both began to realize that they wanted more, Cameron looked at her and sighed.
“We’re going to have to see about this. I don’t know how many more times I can walk away from you, when all I want to do is stay with you and kiss you until the sun comes up.” He gave her a smile and told her goodnight, heading back to his car.
She knew what he meant, as she watched him drive away she thought about Kelly’s words of warning to her, and she wondered if she was letting it go too far, or if it was going to go much further, and if so, just how far she was willing to let it go.
A few days later, on a Friday morning, Cameron called her. “I want to do something really special for you. I want you to pack a bag for the weekend this weekend. Come away with me. Spend the whole weekend with me.” He sounded anxious as if he was hoping beyond hope that she would say yes.
Jasmine thought of saying no right away, of not going with him and spending that much time with him, or being that close to him for a whole weekend, but if she was being true to herself the way that Kelly had told her that she should be, then she knew that she would actually love it, and that she would want to do something fun like run away with him for a weekend, and spend those days holding his hand and kissing him often.
“Okay, I’ll go. Will you tell me where we’re going?” she asked curiously.
He sounded as if he won a prize that meant everything to him. “No, I’m afraid not. It’s a surprise, but it’s a good surprise, and I think you’ll love it. So, pack your bag and get ready and we’ll leave on Friday night. You’ll want clothes for the coast; so, layers and a swimsuit if you think you might get into water.”
“That sounds like a lot of fun. Should I bring anything nice to wear? Dressy?” she asked feeling the excitement in her grow as they talked about it and he hinted at what they were doing and where they would be going.
“I would.” He suggested with a coy laugh.
“Alright then. I’ll be ready to go on Friday. And Cameron, thank you so much. I appreciate all of the things that you do for me.” She meant it. She knew that a surrogate pregnancy for just about anyone else would never have gone the same way that this one had with him, and she was glad that she was one of the ones he had chosen to carry his children, though sometimes she wished that she had been the only one, and that he would at least tell her about Eva.
They ended the call and she was able to spend the next two days dreaming about what his weekend away with her was going to consist of.
Saturday came and Cameron arrived at her door to pick her up. He looked like a boy on Christmas morning, he was so excited to take her on their weekend trip. He helped her with her overnight bags and then he drove them to a train station not far from where she lived. He parked and she smiled at him and raised an eyebrow.
“We’re taking a train?” she asked interestedly, “But you won’t tell me where we’re going?”
He shook his head. “No, it’s a surprise. Think of it as a flower bud that’s blooming open and enjoy the bloom.” He winked at her.
“I like your flower analogy. Enjoy the bloom.” She smiled as she walked with him to the little station house to wait for the train.
It was an old-fashioned train station, , one that had been there a long time, and thought it looked like it was vintage, it was well kept up. They sat on a curved wooden and iron bench, glad for the shade that held off the warm summer sun. There were old, intricately designed iron lamp posts around the station, and she thought of the way that they glowed at night, looking like they were shining in an old silver screen movie from the 40’s.
There were trees around the station, and plants and flowers. People were standing there, waiting for various trains to come through. Most of them weren’t going very far and only had day bags or bicycles with them to use when they arrived at their destinations.
A few trains came and went, and Jasmine paused in her conversation with Cameron to ask him about them. “Are we early or is the train late?”
He laughed lightly. “It’s a little of both, but I like to make sure I’m on time for things, even if they are running behind, so we were here a little early, and the train should be here soon.”
Only a few minutes later, a train pulled up and he ushered her onto it. He spoke to the porter and the man took them through a few cars until they got to a private bunker car. They went into their cabin and she was impressed to see that he had rented a car with beds, a sofa, and their own private bathroom.
“It’s not a long journey, but I did want you to be comfortable, in case you wanted to sleep or anything like that. There’s a dining car and we can go in there any time that you like. There’s also a viewing car, if you’d like to sit in it and watch the scenery go by. That’s nice.” He put her bags in the storage bin for her.
She gasped as she looked around and laughed. “This is incredible! I’ve never seen one of these cars. I’m so excited!”
He looked as if he couldn’t be more thrilled that she was happy. “I’m so pleased to hear that,” he told her with a smile.
They sat in their car for a few minutes to enjoy it and to look around, but then she wanted to see the rest of the train so he took her on a little tour.
“I take this train sometimes for business when I’m going up and down the coast, if I’m able to take my time and I’m not in a rush. I enjoy it. It’s an easy-going and pleasant way to travel, and it’s better for the environment, and I love the scenery and the service.” He walked with her through the window car where the windows were nearly like walls, going all along the sides and up to the roof of the train, curving upward so that there was even a view of the sky.
The train trundled along the tracks, swaying gently and clicking softly as the hills and roads and sea went by. He took her to the dining car and they got a table. He ordered lunch for them and she looked out of the window and took in all that was passing by outside.
“We’re headed south.” She said with a wink at him and he nodded.
“Indeed, we are. That’s a clever observation.”
The food arrived and they enjoyed their meal, served on pretty porcelain plates with crystal glasses and a fabric tablecloth and napkins.
It felt to her like they were in a real restaurant, though they were in a car on a train that was cutting through the California countryside. She loved it.
“You spoil me so much.” She gave him a grateful smile.
“I like to; you’re worth it, and the baby’s worth it.” He nodded down to her growing belly.
She rubbed her hand over the large bump and nodded. The baby was indeed worth it.
They enjoyed their meal and then walked back down to the window car, where they sat and looked out at the view as they slowly passed by. She held his hand and laid her head on his shoulder. He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand and she felt that she had never been so lucky as she was at that very moment.
It was perfect, she thought to herself, that one single moment out of her life, resting on the arm of a man she liked so much, carrying his baby in her body, and slipping along down the coastline of California, watching the Pacific Ocean and the hills pass.
The train wound in and out of small towns along the way, stopping to let some passengers off and to bring others on. The people around them changed as much as the scenery.
They went back to their private car and she lay down and fell asleep for a while, taking a nap as the train gently rocked her. When she woke, she saw that Cameron was sitting in a chair opposite her, watching her.
She raised her head and smiled at him. “What are you looking at?” she asked sweetly.
“I was watching an angel sleep… an angel with my baby inside of her. It was like a dream. It was a very sweet dream,” he answered her, kneeling down beside where she was sleeping and leaning over to her to kiss her. “I’d have sat there and watched you forever if you hadn’t woken up.”
She chuckled a little and wrapped her arms around his neck, tipping her face up to kiss him. She loved his kisses; the feel of his warm soft lips moving over hers. It made her feel as if the entire world had somehow slipped away and there was nothing and no one in it but just the two of them, wrapped around each other.
It wasn’t long after that he pulled her bags down and told her that it was time for them to get off the train.
When the train slowly pulled into the next town, she followed him off of the train and out into the warm evening light. There was a car waiting for them, and he helped her into it while the driver loaded their few bags for them.
A short while later, the car pulled up to a big old Victorian house that was nestled into a hill overlooking the beach and the ocean below.
“This is a bed and breakfast?” she asked, looking up at it happily.
“It is…” he said with an uncertain smile. “I only booked one room, and it has one bed, but I made sure that she has availability if you want your own room.” He walked up to her and stood before her, reaching his finger up to trace it down her cheek. “Do you… want your own room?” he asked, gazing into her eyes.
Her heart skipped several beats and her mind finally clicked into gear as she realized just what their weekend away was about, and what he was hoping for. For a moment, she wasn’t sure what she wanted. For a moment, she panicked a little and thought about how close she was getting to him, and how after the baby was born she wasn’t going to be close to him. She wasn’t going to be around him at all. She thought about how her heart might hurt, and how she would have a harder time letting go later if she got too close to him along the way.
But then she gazed into his sweet brown eyes and saw his earnest compassion and dedication to her, and she felt the stirrings in her that she had been trying to push back since they had begun kissing one another and getting closer, and she sighed.
“You know what, we still don’t know where this thing between us is going, and we haven’t really talked about it. I know that there may be difficult decisions ahead, but just for now, for this weekend, for this brief time with you, if I’m being true to myself, then I have to admit that I do want to share a room with you, and a bed, and much more than that.” Her heart began to race as she spoke, admitting everything that she was thinking to him,without inhibition.
He seemed to breathe a sigh of relief and he smiled at her. “That’s the best thing that you could have said to me, and it’s exactly what I wanted to hear. Or at least, what I hoped to hear. I wouldn’t want you to think I wasn’t going to offer you an alternative, because you certainly have one if you want it.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want it. I want this weekend with you, here.” Jasmine wrapped her arms around him and looked up at him, her lips merely a breath away from his. “Kiss me… please,” she whispered.
He blinked for only a moment and a moment later his lips were on hers, kissing her softly and sweetly. When he finally let her go, they were both breathless.
He sighed and took her by the hand, looking back up at the old Victorian bed and breakfast before them. It was three stories, and massively built. There was a wraparound porch and a turret on one corner, not unlike Jasmine’s house. At the top of the turret stood a weather vane, pointing toward the hills, as the wind had come in from the sea and turned it to the east.
There were windows all over it, and a large and lovely garden around it, filled with a wide and thick green lawn, several kinds of flowers and rose bushes, and a pathway leading through a trellis to the extended gardens in the back, behind the house.
They walked to the door together, and thanked the driver as he came back out, having taken their bags in for them. The inside of the bed and breakfast was designed with an elegant taste, harking back to the era from whence the house itself came. The furniture was turn of the century, the artwork, and even the flowers, all roses, seemed to be vintage in a way, though they were real.
The lady who greeted them at the door looked to be in about her fifties. She had a warm and welcoming smile and she greeted them as if they were long lost friends who had finally come to see her.
She showed them around the main floor, through the sitting room and the dining room, explaining about breakfast and telling them what time they could enjoy it, and how she also had a wine service in the evenings for her guests to meet and mingle if they liked. She told them she served fruit and cheese for it, and said that it would be about an hour from then.
Having pointed out the gardens in the back, a lovely gazebo, a hot tub, a porch swing looking seaward, and a seating area with café tables and chairs under a lit awning, she brought them back inside and took them up to their room.
Cameron had of course gotten them the nicest room in the home. There was a king-sized bed with a canopy, and there were two bay windows, one with a reading bench, that looked out over the beach and the ocean below.
They had an en-suite bathroom that had sky lights and a deep jetted tub suitable for two people. There was a double sink and a shower that would also fit two people. It was made of warm colored stone plates.
There was a desk in one corner, and a table big enough that they could have breakfast on it if they wanted to. A mini bar and refrigerator was set up not far from the fireplace, and she told them that the refrigerator had been fully stocked with Cameron’s requests. There was a large bouquet of fresh flowers, and there was a bowl of fruit and a box of fancy chocolates. It seemed to them that every single detail had been considered for them.
They thanked the innkeeper and sank down into the thick cushioned chairs to relax and unwind from their trip for a few moments before they unpacked and nestled in.
“Do you like it?” he asked with anticipation.
She grinned at him. “I love it. I think I’m going to take a bath and then join you out here. Would that be alright?” she asked, feeling her heart skip a beat as she thought about what the night ahead held for them.
He smiled back at her. “I’m so looking forward to it.”
Jasmine kissed him lightly once and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She was also looking forward to the night ahead, but she was feeling somewhat apprehensive, and she wanted to relax in a warm bath, at least as warm as she was allowed being pregnant, before she shared the night with Cameron.
She slipped her dress off and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her breasts were fuller, even more than they had been before she had gotten pregnant, and her belly was smooth and round. It had gotten big, and she turned to the side to see her body as she ran her hands over it.
“Little girl, I’ve been talking to him about how any kind of an heir is good, and how the best that he should hope for is a healthy baby, but he still has his heart set on having a boy. Maybe when you’re born and he sees you, he’ll fall in love with you right then, and nothing will matter.
I do promise you this though, if you’re born and he doesn’t want you, I will keep you and love you all of your life. We’re just not sure whose home you’re going to yet, but I do know this, no matter whose home it is, you’ll be loved more than you could ever imagine. I promise you that.” she gave her belly a pat and then turned and filled up the tub with warm water.
While she was soaking, she heard music begin to play outside of the bathroom, and she smiled, wondering what else Cameron had up his sleeve. She liked the way that he cared for her, how he was so thoughtful and generous with her. She liked his gentle manner, his brilliant mind and his kind ways. He didn’t act like he was better than anyone else, even though he had more money than almost everyone he knew. He didn’t live like he was better than everyone else either, and that was something she knew was important to him. He hadn’t always been wealthy, and it showed on him in that his money didn’t make him who he was. He was already who he was, and the money was just an accessory.
Her bath finished and she thought about the baby inside her and what he would do when he found out it was a girl. She still hadn’t had the courage to tell him that he wasn’t having the son that he had hoped so long for. She was hoping that he wouldn’t care, and that he would take their little girl and give her the amazing home that she deserved, but she knew that if Cameron didn’t, then she would take her and raise her. She hadn’t been prepared for a baby in her own life at that time, but she would never walk away from her and leave her without one of her natural parents.
Jasmine slid her nightgown on over her body and opened the door to the bedroom. She looked around in surprise and gasped. There were candles lit and glowing in different places all over the room, music was playing around her, and their bed was turned down. He was sitting in one of the chairs with his robe on, reading a book.
When she walked out, he set the book down and stood up. Walking toward her with his eyes on her, he gave her a smile and reached out his hands to her. “You have this uncanny ability to take my breath away so often. There’s just nothing that I can do about it. It makes me want to breathe you in, and never exhale again.”
He lifted his hands to her face and closed his mouth over hers, kissing her softly. Everything in her began to stir as she soaked in all that was going on around her. The romantic overtures that he had set about for them were working their charm and she was falling farther and farther under the spell that he was casting on her.
His fingers drifted from her cheeks down her neck to her arms. He closed them around the back of her waist and drew her to him as he kissed her deeply, tasting her and drinking her in. The more she kissed him in return, the more she wanted to kiss him, and her hands found their way to the belt on his robe. She loosened it and fell open, revealing the solid wall of his chest to her, and his hardened body beneath that.
Cameron brought his mouth from hers down her neck to her shoulders, where he slowly slid the straps of her nightgown over the dark curves there, letting it slide over her body and puddle at her feet on the floor.
He looked at her then, his eyes moving over her and his hands following their trail as he took her in, cupping her breasts and gently rubbing his thumbs over her hardening nipples. He shook his head and gazed at all of her before he looked back up into her eyes.
“You are more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. I cannot tell you how much I want you, how much I’ve wanted you for so long now.” He leaned forward and kissed her. “Even my dreams weren’t this good.”
She moaned softly as he moved her to the bed and his mouth began to find its way over the curves and valleys of her body, as his hands and fingers touched and teased, feeling every part of her, kissing all that he could, and setting her on fire as he did it.
Jasmine wrapped herself around him and kissed him in return, running her dark hands over his shoulders and arms, feeling his sculpted muscles beneath her fingertips, closing and curling them in his dark brown locks of hair, and finally closing them around the stiffened shaft of him, massaging and teasing him a little as he sighed and his breath grew even shorter.
Electricity and heat burned between them and when they could take the kissing and taunting no longer, he entered her, sliding into her depths as his hands closed around her breasts, massaging and kissing them while they moved together and made love.
They shared their bodies with one another for a long while, arching and moving against one another as their passion grew and their bodies quivered with fire and need, until release consumed them, and they shivered in each other’s arms, moaning out in ecstasy.
He kissed her neck, and made his way to her mouth as they finally lay down side by side together, and then he kissed her hands and her fingertips. “You are the best choice I ever made,” he said quietly.
Her mind went to Eva, and for a moment she wanted to ask about Eva. She wanted to ask why he had never told her about the other woman, and why he was still keeping her a secret. She wanted to ask why he was having more than one baby, and if their daughter wasn’t going to be accepted in his home, especially since his other baby might be a boy, but she didn’t breathe life into any of the questions that she had for him. Instead, she kissed him softly and fell asleep in his arms as their baby turned and moved in her belly.
*
They spent the whole weekend at the bed and breakfast, walking along the beach hand in hand, picking up seashells, watching the sunset as the sun sank into the green waves. They made love a few times over the two and a half days that they were there, finding tremendous release and much more in each other’s arms as they gave all that they truly had to each other.
When Sunday afternoon came, they rode the train back to the station they had left from and he took her home, leaving her there with a kiss and a promise to see her soon. She watched him drive away and felt part of her heart go away with him.
She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that there would be consequences for what they had shared, but she didn’t want to think about them then, and she didn’t want to think about whatever the future had in store when she left. All she wanted was to savor the beautiful romance and sensual bliss that they had created and found together.
***
Cameron put a burst of speed in his step and when Justin looked behind him he saw that Cameron was right on his heels.
“You’re getting better at this. I thought I was going to leave you behind like I have been doing, but here you are, keeping up with me! You’ve really improved. Good job, Cam!” Justin grinned at him. “You still don’t get the golden water bottle though, not until you beat my best time up the mountain and right back down again.”
Cameron laughed as he bent over and held his hands on his knees, catching his breath. “Yeah, you keep looking behind you. You’re not going to see me there for long. I’m going to pass you up before you know it, and then you’ll be looking ahead for me, and I’ll be gone.”
Justin tilted his head a little bit. “I was going to ask you to go out hiking last weekend, but I got your machine all weekend. Where were you?” he asked curiously.
Cameron shrugged. “Oh, I was out of town for the weekend.”
“What was it for, business?” Justin asked, picking through some overgrown bushes on the path ahead of them.
“No.” Cameron answered. “It was for pleasure. I took Jasmine with me. We went to a little bed and breakfast down the coast for the weekend.”
Justin stopped where he was walking and turned around to face Cameron. “You’re kidding me, right?” he asked in disbelief.
Cameron shook his head. “No, I’m really not.”
“You took her to a bed and breakfast for the weekend? You… you two are having an affair now?” Justin asked incredulously.
Cameron ran his hand over the back of his neck. “Yeah… it’s kind of gone that way.” He sighed and looked over at his friend.
Justin blinked and sighed, planting his hands on his hips. “Look, you’re a grown man and you can do what you want, but I have to tell you, I really don’t think this is a good idea. I mean, the woman is carrying your child, Cam. I really don’t think you should be sleeping with her.” He stopped then and closed his eyes, raking his hand through his hair.
“You know, that might be the strangest sounding thing that I’ve ever said, but you know what I meant. She’s your employee. She’s a surrogate mother for you. You’re paying her. I believe in that old rule that you never mix business with pleasure. It’s just a bad combination. It leads to all kinds of things, and none of the things that it leads to are good.”
“I know you’re trying to look out for me, but I’ve kind of been seeing her. I mean, it didn’t start out that way. It started out with us just being friends and spending time together, and well… one thing led to another and here we are. We’re…” he paused, wondering just what it was that they were.
“You’re not even sure what you are because there isn’t a nice name for what you are. She’s your employee, Cam. Listen, I know it’s none of my damn business, but I’m your best friend, so I’m going to say it straight to you, because I know sure as hell that no one else is going to. You can’t do this. You’re using her. What are you going to do when she has the baby, stop seeing her and walk away from her? You hired her to carry your kid, she did it, you slept with her along the way, and now that the kid’s here, which is coming up fast I’ll remind you, you’re just going to say thanks and take the kid and leave her behind?
Or let’s look at another option here, you stay with her. So, then what, you’re a happy family? You aren’t in this for a full family, Cameron, and you know it. You can’t even call her your girlfriend right now. You won’t even say that, and give her at least that title, so what’s going to happen when she has that kid? Think about that Cameron. You’re a good man, and I know you wouldn’t want to hurt anyone on purpose. You’re being selfish as hell right now and it has to stop.” Justin shook his head and looked away from Cameron.
Cameron sighed and sank down, sitting on a large stone at the side of the trail where they were hiking. “You’re right. I know you’re right. I just… god I can’t get enough of her. It’s like I breathed her in and I don’t want to breath her back out again. Do you get that? I don’t know what’s going to happen later. You’re right though, I’m not looking for a whole new family. That isn’t part of my plan, it was just for the heir, but even that hasn’t gone right. I let myself get too close to Jasmine. I did. I know I shouldn’t have.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. You’re not going to do anything permanent with her, or even long term. You never should have started. Not with her. There are so many women that you could have, Cam… and you choose the one who’s carrying your baby because you hired her to do it. There’s just no way that this could end well. She’s going to wind up getting hurt, and you’re going to be the cause of it.”
Justin’s voice dropped down and he grew quiet. “I don’t like saying anything like that to you, but I know you have to hear it, and I know no one else will say it. Hell, no one else probably even knows about it but me. Cameron, you’re better than this. You’re far better than this. Don’t do that to her.” He looked back over at his best friend and waited until Cameron raised his eyes and looked at his friend.
“You’re right. When I get back, next time I talk to her I’ll tell her that we shouldn’t have gone that far. She’ll understand. We’ll just cut it off at this point, and have the baby and be done. I’ll make it simple.” He looked at his friend in earnest. “Hurting her is the last thing in the world that I would ever do.”
“Then end it now and let her heal over the next few months before she has that baby.” Justin told him with a kinder voice.
He nodded. “That’s good advice, Justin, and I’m glad that you said something. I hadn’t thought that far ahead. In fact, neither one of us did. We were both too wrapped up in right now.”
“So, change it. Make it right.” Justin said as he began to walk up the trail again.
“I will. I’ll do it when I get back.” Cameron said as he followed his friend along the trail.
***
Jasmine drove down the winding road that twisted and turned through towering redwoods and forests of other kinds of trees, past houses and ranches and the occasional roadside café or gas station.
She pulled up the driveway to Kelly’s home and saw her out on a far pasture, driving a small tractor. She honked her car horn and Kelly waved to her, bringing the tractor to a stop and hopping down off of it.
Kelly strode in across the field toward her house as Jasmine walked up to the front porch. Kelly met her there a few minutes later, giving her a big hug after she pulled off her sun hat and gloves.
“This is a sweet surprise,” Kelly grinned as they walked into the house, “what’s got you over here today? I’m glad to see you, but we’re having lunch the day after tomorrow, so something must be up if you’re over here this early. Can I get you anything? I have berry and herb infused water in the refrigerator, and I know you’d love it.”
“That sounds good.” Jasmine answered as Kelly headed over to her refrigerator.
They sat down together a few minutes later on the sofa in Kelly’s sunroom, overlooking her orchard and a small brook that rolled and tumbled down the hill near it.
“Okay. What’s going on?” Kelly asked again, looking at Jasmine.
“It’s something that’s kind of on my mind… I need an outside perspective on it, if you don’t mind.” She gave her best friend a little smile.
“Of course, I don’t mind. One outside perspective coming up.” Kelly winked at her.
“Well, it’s Cameron. We… we’ve still been seeing each other as much as we were, or more even, and things have kind of changed between us.” She looked down into her glass of ice water and concentrated on the bits of berries floating in it.
Kelly’s eyes narrowed. “What’s changed?” she asked with a note of apprehension in her voice.
“Well, we’ve been close, we are kind of… dating, I guess. Anyway, he asked me to go with him out of town for a weekend last weekend, and I thought about and at first I thought I wouldn’t. I thought that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea, but then I gave in because it sounded like so much fun and I just love spending time with him. So I said yes, and we went.” She chewed on her lower lip and looked over at her best friend.
Kelly sighed. “You went out of town with him for the weekend?”
“Yes.” Jasmine answered quietly. “He took me on a train to a little bed and breakfast in this tiny town south of here on the coast. We had a gorgeous room, and it was so romantic and sweet, and…” Jasmine trailed off and Kelly took a long slow breath in and finished her sentence for her.
“And you were intimate with him.” .
“Yes.” Jasmine answered with a sigh.
“So, what is the perspective that you need from me? What’s stuck in your brain?” Kelly asked, not offering any other commentary or judgment.
“Well, I knew that I wanted to do it going in, but now I’ve had some time to think about it, and I’m not entirely sure that I should be doing anything like it at all. I mean, we haven’t talked about it really. We haven’t said what we are; whether we are a couple or anything, and we haven’t said what we want to do or what we want to be to each other.
We just kind of went ahead and did what we want, rather than discussing any of it first. And now I’m not sure about where it could go.” Jasmine lifted her glass and brought it to her lips, taking a long drink of it.
“Where do you want it to go?” Kelly asked, watching her closely.
“I’m not sure. I think it could go a few ways. I could have the baby and give her to him and then he could stop seeing me, and I’ll be on my own. Or, if he doesn’t want a girl, and right now he doesn’t know that I’m carrying a girl, he could decide that he doesn’t want her because she’s a girl, and he’s so hell bent on having a son, and he could just walk away from us both and then I would be a single mother. That’s a possibility.
Or… maybe, he could decide that he wants to be in a serious relationship with me and then we’d wind up together, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. He seems to be shying away from anything serious. He likes being friends with me. Maybe we’ll wind up just being friends with benefits or something. I don’t know what to do with this. It’s kind of a confusing situation.” Jasmine looked over at Kelly again, and Kelly leaned forward and looked directly in to Jasmine’s eyes.
“It’s a mess, honey. That’s what it is. I warned you already about getting involved with him. It’s really not a good idea. I said it wasn’t the last time we talked about him, and I’m saying it again now. It’s not a good idea. He’s a temporary situation for you. He’s not going to be a permanent situation. You’re having his baby because he’s paying you to perform that service for him.
I’ll tell you exactly what I think about this. I’m adamantly against it. It’s going to be over in four months and then what are you going to do? You’re going to be busy with the flower shop, and he’s going to take the baby, and that will be that. You two aren’t going to see each other again.” Kelly spoke honestly, but kindly.
“And now this business with it being a girl? That shouldn’t be an issue for him, and if it is, then it tells you that he’s a chauvinist and you don’t want to be in his life anyway. Think about this, Jasmine. There’s not really any way that it can have a good outcome. You need to think of yourself and you need to think of that little one that you are carrying. If he isn’t sure what he wants to do with you right now, if he isn’t sure about you two being a couple right now, then he’s not going to be sure about it later.
Don’t take on a problem that you don’t need. This is an unnecessary headache that could turn into a huge heartache. You’re such a smart girl. You’re so smart… really you are. Think about this with your head and leave your heart out of it. There is no place for him in your life on a personal level. You just finish up the pregnancy and you have the baby and you give it to him and go on with your life.
That’s been the plan all along. If he is stupid enough to reject that baby because she’s a girl, then you keep her and we will raise her, and I’ll help you and you can run your flower shop. But don’t look for anything else, or you’ll be setting yourself up for a failure and a huge broken heart.” Kelly reached her hand out to Jasmine and Jasmine took it, holding it.
“I know that you’re right. I do. In my head… there’s no question, but if I’m being honest with myself then I have to admit that I am falling for him, and I don’t think that there’s any way that I can stop that.” Jasmine said quietly.
Kelly shook her head. “You have to. You have to stop it. You can’t continue with this. Jasmine, you have to end this thing with him right away. Have the baby with him, fine, but that’s it. Don’t you do anything else with him at all from here forward.”
Jasmine listened to Kelly and nodded her head. “I’m going to try. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I do know that you’re right, and I’m just going to have to try.”
She sipped her water and looked out of the sunroom to the countryside outside. The little girl inside her moved and kicked, and she placed one hand on her belly, rubbing it and comforting the baby there. She knew that she was going to have to figure it out and change it.
Kelly was right. Cameron hadn’t made any kind of promise to her about what they were or what they were going to be. It might even be true that he was using her, though she couldn’t see him doing that. If he was using her, then she was using him just as much, and it was a fair trade. It wasn’t a good one, but it was a fair one.
Jasmine knew that she had let herself get carried away with all of the romance that seemed to be happening between them, and she knew that there wasn’t any way that it could go forward. Not in a permanent way; a way that she could count on and rely on. Kelly had mentioned what kind of man he really was if he didn’t want his own child just because she was a girl, and if that was the case, then she knew that she wouldn’t want to be with him at all.
She was going to have to tell him that their child was a girl, and see what his reaction was, and she was going to have to try to stop everything that was growing between them, because there was no place for it grow, and no way for it to grow forward.
“You’ll make it through this, dearest.” Kelly gave her hand a squeeze. “No matter what, you’ll make it through this and I’ll be with you all the way.”
Knowing that she wasn’t alone gave Jasmine a good deal more confidence about the situation, and about herself. She would make it through, somehow.