THE DOCTORS TOLD me that Emerson wouldn’t wake up for another hour, so here I was at Mikhail’s door. I couldn’t put off telling him any longer. And I couldn’t tell him about his brother over the phone.
Before I could even open the door it was pulled open.
“What’s taking you so long to knock on the door? I was watching you on my security feed,” Mikhail said laughingly.
“We need to talk, and it’s not good,” I said. I watched the smile fall from his face, and the lights in his eyes diminished.
“Come in,” he said apprehensively.
I walked past him and went straight for his liquor. I took off the lid of the decanter, and poured some scotch for him in a glass and filled another for myself.
“So, it’s really bad,” Mikhail said, taking the glass from my hand and downing it in one go. I followed suit.
“It’s about your brother,” I said, hissing from the intensity of the scotch. “Four months ago he told me he wanted out of the Valentijin mob. And while he did this he wanted me to make sure you stayed away from him.”
“I got the message when he put a gun to my head,” Mikhail said with a scowl. “And I don’t believe you,” he said with disbelief.
“Well, it’s true. I came to him with a plan to help him get out, and it involved the FBI. I negotiated his freedom for his cooperation. He knew the only way he could get out was if he got rid of the Valentijin board. So, I proposed a way for him to take out them and the Ichor cartel at the same time. They had a meeting, the FBI turned up and ambushed it as planned. But your brother . . . he didn’t make it. He died in the crossfire,” I explained.
“No,” Mikhail said, shaking his head, “I don’t believe you.”
“Nikolai told me that if he didn’t make it that he wanted me to tell you that he was proud of you, and that he was going to clean up his act so he could be the kind of brother you’d look up to.”
Mikhail fell back against the wall and slid down. His head fell onto his knees and his shoulders shook. I bent down beside him and put my hand on his shoulder. I stayed with him until the tears stopped, and then I messaged Jarek and Sev to come over.
When they came I let them in and we all huddled on the floor around Mikhail. We drank shots and toasted to the memory of Nikolai.
When the hour was almost up, I stood up. There was one more thing I had to do. “We came together for a cause, to help out people for a price they were willing to pay. But I can’t be the Leverager anymore. Emerson needs me and so does Micah. So, from now on I’m out. The mantle falls to the three of you,” I said.
“We knew this was coming,” Jarek murmured.
“It’s not the end of us, it’s just the end of you giving us anymore orders,” Mikhail added, with mock relief.
“We understand,” Sev said.
“Helvete!” Mikhail said, mocking me, “this is getting too sappy for my liking!” I looked at him, he looked at me and then we both burst out laughing.
I OPENED MY eyes, wincing at the pain in my head. The first thing I laid eyes on was the white wall opposite me. I remembered about my mother and what she’d done to me and the pain radiated through me.
I closed my eyes, trying to focus on my breathing, when I felt a little hand take mine. I opened them again and saw it was Micah.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “There are sixty seconds in a minute. Count them down and you’ll feel better. One, two . . .” he began. By count four I’d joined and, and by the time we got to sixty my breath had evened out.
“Micah, where am I? And what are you doing here?” I asked, sitting up.
“You’re at Hale Institution. And a nurse let me in, she told me you were here,” Micah said with worried eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I said squeezing his hand.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up, Älskling,” I heard Hendrik say as he walked in. My heart stopped when he noticed Micah was in the room with us.
Micah froze, and he blinked his eyes. Then he let go of my hand and ran toward Hendrik. He hugged Hendrik’s knees so hard he went back a step. Hendrik looked at me with wet eyes and his relief was staggering. He bent down and hugged Micah to him.
“I’m so sorry, broder, I’m so, so, sorry,” Hendrik said, rocking him. Micah’s small body shook in his arms, and I started to cry when I realized he was crying. I got up out of bed and hugged them both, and the three of us cried but in the best kind of way.
Two months later
PROFESSOR EDWARDS HADN’T failed me like I thought he would. I told him about what had happened to me and why I could no longer treat Micah and he told me he would grade me on my existing efforts. Also, he said that for the duration of the program that I had to be my own patient.
And he was right. I voluntarily, signed myself up to stay at Hale Institution where I dealt with losing Katia all over again. I also dealt with the fact that my mother had betrayed me. But mostly I dealt with the memories of my assault.
Hendrik had visited me each and every day, bringing along Micah. Sentry had come through with his side of the deal, and Hendrik now had full custody of Micah.
It was my first day out of Hale Institution and I knew exactly what I wanted. And who I wanted. And nothing and no one was going to stop me. Hendrik had dropped off Micah at school before he picked me up and took me to his apartment.
I led him to his bedroom and he paused, not stepping over the boundary line. “Are you sure?” he asked with trepidation.
“I decided to learn some Swedish during my convalescence,” I said, ignoring his heart-warming look. “I read online about this beautiful Swedish proverb: Älska mig när jag minst förtjänar det, eftersom det är då jag verkligen behöver det,” I quoted.
“Translated, it means love me when I least deserve it because that’s when I need it most. Hendrik,” I said lifting my hands to his chest. “You’ve loved me when I was at my weakest, when I needed it most. I want to love you at your best,” I said, kissing his cheek. “And I also want to love you at your worst,” I said, kissing his other cheek. “I want to love you in all the in-betweens and all the other times,” I said fusing my lips with his.
He ended the kiss, and I looked away, not sure I could endure another rejection from him. So, I was looking down at the floor, and the meaning didn’t escape me when he took one step, then another over the boundary line, effectively breaking the peace treaty. Then he closed the door behind us, closed all the blinds and made sweet love to me. It was so sweet I cried, and when I did he kissed away every tear and whispered, “Mitt hjärta, min skatt, mitt liv, mitt allt.” When I told him my understanding of the Swedish language didn’t extend beyond my newly learned proverb and his extensive use of swear words, he shut me up with a kiss. Then he drew his mouth to my ear and whispered, “In English, it means my heart, my treasure, my life, my everything.”
And I cried again.
Six years later
“SO I KNOW you’ve heard from me about a thousand times about how I’m a social worker, so I’ll just skip and get to the interesting part. Katia, this is baby Talia, Hendrik and I officially adopted her today. If you were still alive you would be her godmother, but since you aren’t, Sev, Jarek, and Mikhail fought over it, and we eventually came to an agreement. They’d equally be her godfathers down here, and you’d be her honorary godmother looking over her from above, in the sky.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she knows all about you,” I said as I laid a yellow lily on her grave and another one on Evelina’s beside her.
Talia gurgled in my arms, and I brought her to my neck and cuddled her. Hendrik had his arm over my shoulder, and Micah was hugging my side. “Until next time,” I whispered, as we turned around together, and even though the wind carried away my words I knew Katia knew I would be coming back. Just like I always did.
THE END