I hear the window rasp open, wood grating on wood somewhere off to my side.

“What are you doing?” I ask, pointlessly directing my blindfold towards the noise.

Cold air rushes in, washing over my totally exposed skin.

I inhale quickly at the new sensation.

“Hey, what the hell?”

His only response is a chuckle, raspy and strong.

Even more goose bumps break out across the length of me, these ones having nothing to do with the cold.

“I’ll see ya,” he says, already sounding further away.

So, he’s gone out the window. Great.

I pull at my restraints, once again accomplishing nothing. Chilly air continues to pour into the room at my side.

Why the fuck am I always the one waking up in handcuffs? How the fuck has this happened again?

I wriggle on the bed, thrashing around in frustration.

Just like every other time this has happened to me, it doesn’t take long to figure out that it’s pointless. Falling limp in frustration, I let out a growl.

Only one thing to do now.

“HEEELPPPP!”

I turn my head towards the direction I think the door is at, lifting my head like it will help me project.

“Sammi! Becky! Mysti!”

I hear stirring from the other side of the door, then a thump followed my muffled cursing.

“You guys, in here!”

“Percy?” Sammi finally calls back.

About fucking time.

“Yes! You guys, I’m in here!”

I hear more scuttling sounds, other voices rising to join Sammi’s.

“I don’t know, over here!” Sammi shouts.

“Coming!” I hear Mysti May chime in.

They sound even more frantic than normal.

The sound of rushing feet meets me, and I lay my head back with a sigh. The girls are here, they’re coming. Everything’s cool.

Or is it?

Nightmarish visions assault me as I wait for them to arrive. Bright pink pubes, hair to match. My heart beats harder.

Oh god. Please not again.

I pull again at my handcuffs, suddenly panicking at the thought of what awaits me when the blindfold comes off.

I spent months dreaming about those pubes. I haven’t been able to look at neon pink the same ever since.

Frankly, I’ve started to think I might never escape the memory of them.

Now here I am again, tied up and possibly dyed from head to toe.

“Hurry!” I scream, trying and failing to see from the bottom of my blindfold.

The door slams open with a bang, and three sets of footsteps charge in in a hurry.

“How bad is it?” I ask, cringing. “Are they pink? Oh, fuck. They aren’t green, are they?”

I hear multiple sighs of relief at once.

“Jesus, Percy, you scared us silly!” Becky shouts.

Giggling breaks out the next second, sending my already racing heart into overdrive.

“For fucks sake!” I shout, trying desperately to sit up. “What color are my pubes?”

I hear them break out into full laughter, Mysti’s chuckle ringing above the rest.

“Same color as they always are, sugar,” Becky says with a giggle.

I collapse back against the mattress, fear leaving me immediately. “You could have started with that.”

I shake my head, annoyed at the blindfold. “Can you get this thing off me?”

Footsteps approach quickly, warm hands grazing my face as they lift my head from the pillow. I feel the sleek satin of my blindfold shift, my sight restored immediately after.

“Better?” Sammi asks, peering down at me.

“Much.”

All three of them hover around me, each looking slightly worse for wear.

“What happened this time?”

I glance around, taking in the room for the first time since waking up. Everything’s trashed, and my clothes are everywhere, which is par for the course.

I shift on the bed, Euros and weed spilling off the edge as I do.

Honestly, this is far from the worst that I’ve woken up to. Compared to the last time, this is damn near dignified.

“So, what the fuck happened?” I ask, taking the time to glance at each girl in turn.

They shake their heads, shrug, looking every bit as confused as I feel.

“No idea.” Mysti says.

“Not even you?” I ask, turning my attention to Becky.

She runs a hand over her ever-growing stomach, the go-to gesture of pregnant women the world over.

“Sorry, Percy, I’ve had some ridiculous amnesia from this pregnancy. I can’t remember a damn thing, even when I’m at home. I’ve got nothing here.”

Well that sounds about right.

“It’s alright. I guess here we go again, huh?”

They all nod, various states of dread spreading across their faces.

“Well, let’s get me out of these things.” I say, wiggling my wrists so that the handcuffs clank against the bed post.

“Right,” Becky says, looking slowly around the room.

“There,” Sammy says, pointing to the nightstand.

She crosses to the other side of the bed and fetches the key. She unlocks me without fuss, my hands feeling numb when they finally come free.

“How do you always end up handcuffed?” she asks, laughing again.

I can only shrug.

How I do the things I do is as much a mystery to me as it is to anyone.

If you aren’t willing to wake up handcuffed to a bed with a stranger’s dick dangling above you, why even go out, right?

I sit up, rolling my wrists to get the feeling to return to my hands.

“How’s the rest of the suite?” I ask.

“Haven’t really checked yet. Not great from what we saw,” Sammi answers.

I look around the room again, thinking that’s got to be an understatement.

Mysti plops onto the bed beside me.

“So, what about the wedding?” she asks.

“What about it?”

“Have you changed your mind?”

Now it’s my turn to laugh.

“Definitely not. I don’t know what I was thinking, getting engaged. You guys know me. That was insane.”

“But Anton—” Becky starts.

“Yeah, I know. He’ll get over it, though. I just can’t do it. I’m definitely not getting married. Not today, not ever.”

Becky and Mysti nod, clearly in agreement.

I look up at Sammi, wondering at her silence.

She’s just staring at me, her mouth slightly agape.

“What?” I ask.

“Um...are you sure about that, Percy?” she asks.

“Yes...positive.”

“Well, you might wanna rethink it,” she says, nodding pointedly at something.

I follow her line of sight, not sure what the fuck she’s on about.

“What?” I ask again, glancing around the bed, “What the fuck, Sammi?”

“Percy, your hand.”

“What about my—”

I feel all the air in me leave my body.

Oh, fuck.

“Oh, fuck,” I say, aloud this time.

I stand quickly, making a point of holding my hand far from me, like it’s contagious. It may as well be for all it represents.

“What the hell did I do?”

“Percy, don’t freak out,” Mysti advises, her eyes as big as saucers.

Yeah, fucking right.

Wrapped around my finger, shining at me like some kind of evil fucking beacon, is a ring.

A diamond ring.

“Holy shit. Did I get married?” I demand, whipping around wildly to look at each of them.

No one responds, their faces looking just as surprised as mine. And just like that, my head fuck spins.