Alexis
“I need to get out of here.” I paced the apartment, beginning to behave like Lorenzo when he was frantic. “I need a walk in the park, or a picnic, or something. I can’t stand this anymore.” I had been staring at these same walls for far too long. The few outings that Lorenzo had let me go on with him were always short and stressful. Though I no longer thought of him as my captor, I certainly felt like a prisoner.
Lorenzo glanced up at me, those dark eyes watching me carefully through his thick fringe of lashes. “You know that isn’t possible.” His voice was calm and patient. He had spread an old towel out over the coffee table and decorated it with numerous gun parts. He seemed to know exactly how to take his weapons apart and put them back together again, but they looked like nothing more than random metal bits to me. These guns were part of his job, but it was clear that he enjoyed keeping them clean and in good repair. His work seemed to soothe him, but it only agitated me more. The place stunk of gun cleaner, a pungent smell somewhat like rubbing alcohol.
It only made me all the more desperate to get out of there. “Well, I need it to be possible! I’m not a homebody. I’ve got to get out and do something!” For the first time, I felt myself getting truly angry with him. My anger would have been justified at any other time: when he had kidnapped me, forced me to stay with him and pretend to be his girlfriend, or even when he had ruined my first big gig back at the Calzoni mansion. He was trying to keep me safe, and I knew that, but it didn’t make me feel any better.
He shrugged, not letting my rage get to him. “If you can wait a couple of hours, we can probably go out for dinner later.” Lorenzo sprayed more cleaner on a small mechanism and rubbed it gently with a cloth.
I slammed my hand down on the corner of the coffee table to get his attention. He needed to know I was serious. A tiny spring bounced and rolled off the table. He retrieved it, polished it, and returned it to its place. “Dinner isn’t good enough! We always go out to dinner and it’s the same thing every time. We can only go to certain restaurants, you insist on sitting with your back to the corner, and we’re only there long enough to gobble down our meals and leave. I’m not even allowed to go to the bathroom!” I knew I should have enjoyed some of the places we had been. After all, I never would have been able to afford them on my own. But having a rich date who didn’t mind spending his money wasn’t all that exciting when we couldn’t stick around long enough to even enjoy dessert.
With a sigh, Lorenzo set down his cleaning rag. “Alexis, calm down. You’re going to make the neighbors press their ears to the walls just so they can hear us argue.”
“Good!” I shouted. “Let them hear me! See if I give a shit!” I had yet to meet any of the neighbors, which I’m sure was by Lorenzo’s design, and I had a good feeling they would have heard all sorts of weird things from this apartment had they paid attention.
“You’ll give a shit,” he replied calmly, “when someone figures out our little scheme. You’ll give a shit when Matteo—or whoever he sends here—busts down that door and shoots us both in the forehead. Trust me, you’ll give a shit then.”
“But can’t we at least just go for a walk? I don’t need to go shopping or to eat or anything like that. I just want to get out and smell the fresh air for a while. You can come with me and you can bring all the toys you want.” I gestured helplessly at the parts on the table.
“It isn’t a matter of how many guns I bring.” He was staying patient, even though he’d explained all this to me before. “It’s a matter of being able to watch our backs. If we’re out on the street for any decent period of time, I have no way of knowing who might be watching us or following us. And I’m sure they are watching. That’s how life works when you’re in the business I am.” He looked down the barrel of a gun before running a long brush down it. “Just crossing the hall to get the elevator and go down the parking garage is a potential hazard.”
“You’re in the business of taking risks, right?” I challenged. I leaned forward, knowing that my cleavage was nicely exposed. I was willing to use any tactics necessary to get out of this damn apartment. “Then come and take a risk with me. Live a little bit, Lorenzo. I’m dying in here, and nothing’s going to happen. I mean, it hasn’t happened yet. If someone was going to kill me, wouldn’t they have done it already?” Only a week ago, I had been terrified of what might happen with the Morettis. Now, I was too aggravated to care. Let them shoot me if it just meant I didn’t have to be miserable anymore.
He set down his work and looked at me levelly. “Fine. You want to go outside? Then go.”
“Wait, what?” I straightened, not sure that I’d heard him correctly. “Right now?”
“Now.” Lorenzo flicked his fingers toward the door, as though shooing me away. “Go for your walk.” He bowed his head back over his work and began reassembling one of his guns.
My heart pounded, either with excitement or nerves, I wasn’t sure. “By myself?” I hadn’t been without him for over two weeks, except for the rare occasions that he left me alone in the apartment. He was a part of my life now, and I hadn’t completely forgotten that it was because of him I was even alive.
“You’ve deemed it safe, right?” he asked, one dark eyebrow raised in challenge. “You don’t think anything could possibly happen. So go. Enjoy yourself.” His hands worked quickly and the odd pieces that had been lying on the towel were magically transforming back into a pistol.
I pursed my lips, trying to decide how to respond. It was a dare, and I knew that. He wanted me to admit that I was too scared to be on the other side of that door without him. He didn’t think I would ever take the bait. Lorenzo was confident that I couldn’t do it. “Fine.” I snatched up my purse from the hall table and shoved my feet into a pair of sneakers. “I’ll be back …later.” I made sure to slam the door on my way out.
It wasn’t so bad crossing the hall to the elevator and I charged through the front lobby to the main doors like the hounds of hell were after me. I just knew that Lorenzo would show up behind me at any moment, ready to grab me by the wrist and drag me back upstairs. Outside, the sun dazzled on the sidewalk and glared off the passing cars. I craned my head up to find the window to Lorenzo’s apartment, expecting to see him hanging out of it with a rifle in his hand. I saw no sign of him.
“Good. It’s just me. I’m free again.” I turned back to the scene before me, looking left and right and trying to decide where to go. I’d never really had a chance to get to know this part of town, since Lorenzo was always rushing me off somewhere in that slick little car of his. People and cars surged up and down the street and sidewalks, hurriedly getting where they needed to go without paying attention to each other. I was surrounded and yet completely alone.
A shiver ran down my back despite the warm air, reminding me that I needed to get moving. I headed down the sidewalk with no destination in mind. I just needed to go. “I’m going to enjoy this. It won’t take much time; I just need to know that I’m allowed to leave.” But my feet moved too fast and the middle of my back arched as though someone was poking the muzzle of a gun into it.
“You’re ruining this for yourself, Alexis. Just calm down. Enjoy it.” I tried to focus on the bright green of the leaves on the trees and on the fresh breeze that blew through the town. But all I noticed were the numerous strangers. They were everywhere. A man across the street dropped a letter in a mailbox; was he one of the capos who had been at dinner at Jianna’s? Was that tall man waiting on the bus the same one who had served as chauffer when I had gone to the street market? Everyone was strange and yet familiar. I looked at each one of them in turn, expecting one of them to recognize me and give a shout of alarm. But they went on about their business as though I didn’t exist.
Taking a deep breath, I reminded myself that Lorenzo wouldn’t have let me come out here if he truly thought I was in danger. He was just keeping me trapped in his place because he was a control freak. Everything was fine and it was quite possible that he was tailing me. I turned quickly, ready to catch him.
Lorenzo wasn’t there, but a figure suddenly turned into a doorway.
I swiveled back around to continue my walk. “Keep it together. Nobody is watching you. They have their own business to take care of.” But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I had seen the same person before. Where had that been? I racked my brain.
Turning the corner to go around the block, I studied my peripheral vision. Was that the same person who had ducked aside? Was it someone else? I couldn’t tell. My breath shallow, I tried to think of just who would be following me. If it was one of Matteo’s men, they probably wouldn’t do anything yet. They had no proof and they would want to wait until Lorenzo was around so they could give him the ultimate punishment of watching me die. And Calzoni? Did any of his men have a reason to kill me? All the top men in his mansion had been killed, and whoever remained had no reason to come after me unless they thought I had something to do with the hit. Lorenzo had mentioned that some lower members were planning to continue the family business, but it was doubtful that they even knew who I was.
I passed a cart selling bratwurst. The scent of roasted onions and cooking meat tantalized my nostrils. Any other time, I would have jumped right in line. At that moment, though, my stomach was too busy churning to even think about a greasy sausage. With my heart in my throat, I remembered the other person who could be watching. Dino. I could imagine the fit of rage he’d had when he discovered I was gone for good this time. I had threatened to leave numerous times before, but he had always talked me out of it. No, he had intimidated me out of it.
“You had better be here when I get back,” he’d threatened every time he thought I was getting the idea to run away again. “I pulled you out of that homeless shelter and changed your life. You owe me.”
“What are you going to do?” I had challenged. I had been drunk and angry, and I had thrown caution to the wind. We’d had these same arguments over and over again, and I was tired of them. “I’d rather be dead than have to live here with you anymore!”
He had lunged forward and slapped my face, the sting sending sparks up in front of my eyes. “You step one foot over that threshold, and you will be.” Dino had grabbed my arms and pressed them to my sides, his fingers digging into my flesh as he stared me down. His eyes blazed. He would do whatever was necessary to keep me.
When he had left, I had packed. I wasn’t going to put up with him anymore. I didn’t deserve to be his sex slave, kept in that dingy studio apartment so he could do what he wanted with me. Even someone as lowly as me didn’t deserve to be tossed around one minute and fucked the next. Dino didn’t even care if I got any pleasure out of sex. He would fling me down on the bed and take me from behind, his fists grinding into my shoulders to keep me in place. Other times, he demanded that I suck his cock while he watched porn from his dirty recliner and told me he wished I looked like the girls on TV. I was out of there.
Except I was too scared. Time after time, I had threatened to leave. Time after time, I was still there when he got back, ready to apologize. He let me know he accepted my apology by throwing me down on the bed and fucking me until he was satisfied.
The memory made me shudder despite the warm sunshine on my shoulders. It hadn’t been like that with Lorenzo. I didn’t know what had made me throw myself at him like that. He was a killer and my life was in his hands. But he was so damn sexy and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had spent too much time watching those dark eyes and that hard jaw—being too close to his wide chest and his capable hands. He was a real man, one who commanded respect but gave it generously in return. No matter how dumb I had been and how rough I knew he could be, he had been kind to me. Lorenzo wanted to make sure that I enjoyed myself as well, or it wasn’t worth it to him. No, he wasn’t anything like Dino.
With another backward glance, I looked for anyone who seemed to be following me. My heart leaped when I saw a man in a suit, ready to believe that Lorenzo really had come after me. He had the dark hair, but it was much shorter, and he spoke rapidly into a cell phone before hailing a cab and taking off.
Further down, a man sat on a bench reading a newspaper. With the heat of paranoia burning my brain, I tried to remember if he had been there when I had passed that bench. I had been too caught up in my memories of Dino to know. But it certainly could have been the same man who had turned into a doorway earlier …
Telling myself that I needed the exercise, I picked up my feet and jogged the rest of the way around the block, stopping myself from running full-speed with only the smallest bit of self-control. I didn’t bother looking behind me anymore. Someone might have been there or they might not have, but I didn’t need to know. I just needed to get back to safety. By the time I came back in the door, I was breathing hard. I could feel the flush of exertion in my cheeks.
Lorenzo was right where I had left him, cleaning his guns. He looked up at me with a smirk. “Did you enjoy yourself?”
I stormed down the hall to take a shower.