Kelly
I couldn’t stand being in the house, but I also didn’t want to leave. If I saw Mom, she would be able to tell something was wrong, and so would Stacy, and I just couldn’t deal with their questions and concern right now. While the idea of going for a walk seemed appealing, I didn’t want to have bodyguards tailing me the whole way, so that left me to pace around the house, careful to avoid Andrei’s room and the room next to it with all the weapons.
Lunchtime came around, and I couldn’t bring myself to eat. My stomach was too queasy, or maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy — knowing I was pregnant and expecting to have morning sickness. After all, I had felt fine all day yesterday and eaten just fine, and I had been pregnant then, just unknowingly. Andrei had eaten breakfast while I had been dealing with my whole pregnancy ordeal, and I purposely delayed eating lunch, too, so I would have the meal in peace and quiet. I wasn’t ready to face him yet. What if he could tell just by my face that I was pregnant? I could be good at hiding things when I tried hard, except when the person in question knew me well. Which was why I couldn’t get anything past my mom or Stacy, and I had a feeling that Andrei was in that camp, too.
By the time dinner came, I did eat. In fact, I overate. Maybe that was because I had skipped breakfast, but I sure didn’t want to get in the habit of overeating. Eating for two didn’t mean I had to pig out at every meal. I didn’t want to gain weight at an unhealthy pace. How much weight gain was normal? Did I even need to eat extra calories yet? I really needed to start doing some research. I wanted the baby to be as healthy as possible, and not because of the two million dollars.
The baby. I was already thinking of the baby as “the” and not “my.” My baby.
I wiped at my eyes, blaming it on allergies, and to cover up my feelings, I ate so much that I ended up going into a food coma back up in my room. I slept for hours, and when I woke up, I couldn’t fall back asleep, so I went back to pacing up and down the hallway. Andrei should probably be home soon anyhow, and knowing him, he would want to have a romp in the sheets. If I wasn’t going to tell him yet, I had no excuse to close my legs. And, honestly, with how confused I was feeling about everything, it would be nice to be in his arms, to forget about my worries, and to feel good like only he could make me feel.
Normally, I stayed in my room, sometimes wearing nothing, sometimes wearing an oversized t-shirt. Andrei had bought me lingerie, and I had to admit I didn’t see the point of it. Why wear clothes that were only on for a few seconds and weren’t appreciated? I didn’t want any of Andrei’s money to be wasted, so I did wear the lingerie at times. The look in his eyes when I wore it…okay, maybe he did appreciate it. Tomorrow, I’d wear something special for him. Maybe I’d wear it all day long, underneath my normal clothes. Most of the time, I changed into lingerie shortly before I thought Andrei would be coming to see me.
The more I was looking forward to him coming home, the longer the minutes dragged on. Eventually, an hour passed before he came home and, for once, I greeted him right by the door.
And what a sight he made, and not in a good way. He was all bloody, his clothes stained, and his nose looked all swollen. Maybe it was even broken. He had a few bruises, too.
Horrified, I gasped. “What happened?” I asked, not wanting to hear the answer because I was afraid he’d push me away. Whenever I asked about his day or his past, there was a chance he wouldn’t answer. Right now, I wanted to be close to him, to have a reason to stay.
Andrei glowered and shook his head. “Nothing,” he said, brushing it off like I knew he would.
“It’s not nothing,” I insisted. How could he dare act like nothing was wrong? Did he think I was stupid? That I was a doormat? That I’d just sit back and listen to him and not care that he was hurt? Deep down, I figured this had something to do with his mob connection, but seriously he shouldn’t act like this was nothing. “You’re bleeding and your clothes—”
“I’ll rinse off the blood and then come for you,” he said. And he walked on past me, as if that settled things, as if I should just be willing to accept that.
Annoyed and disgruntled, I made my way up to my room and sat on the edge of my bed. What else could I do? I wanted to wash away the blood for him, to tend to him, to ask questions and for him to confide in me, but that wasn’t my place. I was separate from that part of his life — as separate as I could be as I thought back to the man who had accosted me. At least that had only been a one-time occurrence, though I still had nightmares about him sometimes. Andrei was clearly drawing a line.
But why? We had been growing close, a lot closer than just those in a business arrangement. What had changed his mind? Why the need for space? Despite his being closed off, I couldn’t deny that he had wormed past my defenses. I cared about him more than I should. I wanted to be there for him.
Which made it all the more frustrating that he wouldn’t open up completely to me. Did he think I didn’t realize he had a mob connection? Of course I did! Didn’t he see that my still being here despite being used to threaten him should mean something?
Bottom line, did he respect me? I knew that had nothing to do with our business deal, but I wanted his respect. Somehow, along the way, I had fallen for him. His talk about the future of his son, what he wanted out of life…he had a lot of the same desires and goals I would have if I had a son of my own to raise. His job notwithstanding, he had the potential to be a great man.
Potential that wasn’t realized and might never be realized. Maybe I shouldn’t stay here, waiting for him. What was the point? Giving him this child would fulfill his desires, but was that in the child’s best interests? I never regretted my hastiness in agreeing to all of this more than I did right now, in this moment. Seeing Andrei hurt brought the terrible nature of his dark world crashing home to me. As much as I wanted to believe in the future he talked about for his son, I knew it was impossible. His son would be stuck in that same dark world that had hurt Andrei, that same dark world that made Andrei so desperate to have an heir.
Because Andrei was afraid he was going to die and soon, and given the threat, that was a very genuine and necessary fear. I didn’t know how exactly he planned on responding, but he was trying to make a contingency plan if he didn’t win.
He wanted a legacy to leave behind. Even though that legacy would be sucked up in that same darkness. Even though his son might be left without a father. Even though his son would be threatened, too, maybe even killed.
Andrei was being selfish by wanting to bring a child into the world so badly. And I was being greedy and selfish myself to have agreed to help him.
Only a few days ago, I had visited Mom. She had been up and about, looking happier and healthier than I had seen her in a long time. There were no lingering aftereffects of her recent fall and trip to the hospital. My mom and her nurse were getting on like the best of friends. Claire’s husband had also died, so they had plenty to bond over. Claire had been telling my mom stories about the few disaster of dates she had gone on in the past few years when I arrived. They had been laughing so hard they didn’t hear me open the door. The picture of my mom being so happy, of actually having color in her face instead of being so drawn and pale all the time gave me hope. I had agreed to this craziness because of her. She needed me. I was stuck.
Or was I? Did I really have to stay here and fulfill my end of the agreement? The more I weighed our agreement versus what was best for the baby, I didn’t know how I could stay. Yes, I needed the money for my mom, and if I did run, I would have to take my mom with and that would mean a new doctor and new tests and a new home.
On the other hand, could I really contemplate running away knowing about Andrei’s connection to the mob? He would track me down and drag me back here — and it wouldn’t be to take me to bed. He was a man who got what he wanted. He would not take well to betrayal, and running would be betrayal.
What could I do?
My bedroom door opened, and Andrei strolled in, kicking the door shut behind him. He had changed his shirt, and not a trace of blood remained on him. He sure knew how to clean up blood, and that was almost more terrifying than the sight of him wounded.
“Andrei.” I shakily climbed to my feet and rubbed my arms. Why did I suddenly feel so cold? I swallowed hard and suppressed a cough.
He stared at me, his expression unreadable, his eyes half closed.
“Do you work for the mob?” I asked in a rush. I knew he did, but maybe I needed to hear it. We had talked about a great many things, but his work was one subject we never broached, and I was tired of that. I wasn’t a fragile egg. I wouldn’t break. I might run, but I wouldn’t break.
“Why would it matter?” he asked matter-of-factly, his expression not changing.
I gaped at him. Seriously? He came home all bloodied and maybe with a broken nose, and he expected me to just turn a blind eye? Of course it mattered! I needed to know what he was capable of. Yes, he had grand plans for his son, but he would want his son to follow in the family business. What did he expect of him? I had no illusions that Andrei would change who he was for me, but seriously, couldn’t he see what the mob was doing to him? He was so blind by the need to have an heir quickly that he wasn’t thinking about the danger that his child would be in since he was obviously in danger himself. If he could just focus on that, on his son and his son’s future, maybe then he might be willing to change.
“And you’re one to talk,” he continued, his eyes narrowing. “You’re the one selling your own child.”
How dare he! I didn’t even stop to think. I just slapped him as hard as I could.
His fingers closed around my wrist, and he pushed me back toward the bed. His eyes were dark, and I had never seen him quite like this before. For the first time since I walked up to him in the bar, I was terrified of Andrei.
He leaned down close to me. “I killed a man tonight,” he uttered, his tone dark.
To say I was horrified would be an understatement. He killed a man? Why was he telling me this? Yes, I had wanted him to open up, but not to hear something like this. How the hell had I ended up here, and how the hell was I going to get out of this mess? And get out of it alive?