I spend the next few weeks getting to know the school better. Oddly enough, the Elemental Application class ends up being one of my favorites.

“Some of you have some experience using your powers,” Coach Thorne says that first day I’m back. “While many of you have never used them at all. All of you will need to prove yourself at the end of the year, so we better get started. This class will focus on control more than use. We don’t want any…unfortunate accidents.”

He says that last part while looking at me with a wry smile. Everyone laughs good-naturedly, and I join in.

“Yup, that’s me,” I say. “Walking disaster.”

He walks us through some breathing exercises that are designed to help us remain calm under pressure. I enjoy it because it’s kind of like yoga, which is probably the only thing in this world that I’m at all familiar with.

But after a week, we move on from breathing exercises to controlled movements, and that’s when things start to get more interesting. It’s a lot like Tai Chi—very slow, deliberate motions—which I’d always had an interest in but had never tried before.

It’s not until we start pairing the breathing and movements with our powers, though, that I start to become unsure of myself.

“You want to start small,” Coach Thorne says to me from where he stands in front of me. “You are familiar with the heat and tingling in your fingertips, right?”

“Yes.”

“Try to intentionally bring up this heat and tingling, but no more,” he urges, taking my hands in his.

“Are you sure you want me to do that?” I ask nervously. “Remember last time?”

“You have been practicing your breathing, right?”

I nod.

“Good. Then just breathe, and feel the heat build from your toes, up your legs, your torso, down your arms, and then just hold it in your hands. Then send it back down. Easy.”

“Okay,” I whisper as I take a deep breath.

I summon the heat from the earth through my feet. I breathe again, feeling the heat building in my toes. I will it to move up my legs. So far, so good. Then the heat reaches my belly and…

Whoosh!

Flames shoot out of my hands, knocking Coach Thorne across the field.

“Oh! Shit,” I scream as fire continues shooting out of my hands.

“Stop, Imogen!” Caleb calls out.

“I can’t!”

My arms are on fire. I’m completely panicking. I stop, drop, and roll, just like we are taught in elementary school, but that only sets my clothes on fire. I’m still screaming, completely freaking out.

I feel cold water splash on my face. When I look up, Erick is standing over me with an empty bucket.

“Calm down,” Erick says, rolling his eyes. “You’re a fire element. You aren’t actually going to burn.”

“Sorry,” I mumble. “Humans are taught to be afraid of fire. It was just a reaction.”

“I know.” He holds out his hand, and helps me to my feet. “That’s just something else you will have to overcome.”

I look down the field and see students crowded around Coach Thorne. “Oh jeez,” I say, running toward him. “Are you okay, Coach? I’m really sorry! I don’t know what happened.”

He is covered in soot and his hair is a mess, but he seems uninjured. “I’m fine, Imogen. It was my fault, I suppose. You just aren’t ready to move on yet. That’s fine.” He timidly reaches out, and pats my shoulder. “We all move at our own pace. For now, how about you keep working on your motions while I help the other students?”

The other students line up, and I stand in the back and smash my emotions down because I will not allow myself to cry.

* * *

A few weeks later, I find myself in an office with Damon, Coach Thorne, and the headmistress herself, Lady Shadowburn. She is just as beautiful as her picture, with hair she lets flow freely instead of pinning up. When I walk in, she’s standing and staring out a window, twirling a ring around her finger as if deep in thought.

I clear my throat, and she looks over. She just stares for a moment, but then motions toward a chair. “Take a seat, please.”

I sit in the middle seat, with Damon on one side and Coach Thorne on the other. Lady Shadowburn sits on the chair behind her desk, and the three of us sit in silence as she peruses my file. I notice she has a picture on her desk of herself with the woman who was labeled Sarah Shadowburn. They are holding hands, and both are wearing beautiful dresses, almost like a wedding photo.

No, not almost. Exactly like a wedding photo. I lean in for a closer look.

“Miss Flareburn,” Lady Shadowburn begins, snapping me back to attention. “I am so pleased to see the progress you’ve made in your classes. Professor Silvers says you’ve done exceptionally well in politics.”

“I love her class,” I say, nervously drumming my fingers on my thigh.

She nods, returning her attention to the file, before continuing. “The reason we are here,” she finally says after an uncomfortable silence, “is because you have not made much, if any, improvement in your Elemental Application class.”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry about that, especially to Coach Thorne,” I say. “I just don’t know what’s wrong. I’m applying everything he says, really.”

“Are you getting enough sleep?” she asks. “Are you depressed? Is there something going on that we should know about?”

“No…” I say. “I mean, I can’t think of anything. I like it here. I’m happy. I’ve made friends. I study hard. I want to do well. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Some of my classmates have offered tips, and I’ve tried to apply them, but I don’t know. When the fire comes out of me, it’s just always out of control.”

Coach Thorne shifts in his seat, and crosses his arms. “In some ways,” he says to Lady Shadowburn, “I think it might be getting worse, not better. She knows she isn’t doing well. So her stress and fear of failure is causing her to lose even more control.”

Lady Shadowburn purses her lips. “I can understand that. Fear of failure can undermine even the most determined student.”

“Does it really matter?” I ask. “Not that I don’t think the class is important, but I’m just not good at it. Lots of kids fail PE. No one has gotten hurt, not really. I mean, as fire Fae, the fire doesn’t hurt us. And like you said, I’m doing well in my other classes. Can’t we just write this off as a personal weakness and move on?”

Of course, I don’t want to fail, but we all have our strengths and weaknesses. It might be disappointing, but I can live with not being able to control fire. It still kind of scares me anyway. I’m sure I have other strengths I can develop instead.

“Unfortunately, it’s not that simple,” Lady Shadowburn explains. “You see, our elements are the core of who we are. It’s not a part of ourselves we can just ignore or extinguish. And what happens when you’re back in the human realm?”

I freeze. I hadn’t thought about that.

“You do want to be able to go back, don’t you?”

“Are you saying—”

“Imogen,” she says, as if saying my name will calm me. “You’ve seen what happens when you can’t control it. The explosions and such. Sure, no one in your fire community has been injured. But what about if a water or an earth Fae was present? Or what if you go back into the human world and can’t control yourself?”

She’s right. And I really can’t not go back home. That’s simply not an option.

“If you can’t control your powers, Imogen,” she continues, “we will have no choice but to bind your powers and expel you from the school.”

“Wait, what?” I hadn’t seen that coming. That just…went in a totally different direction than I expected. “Is that really necessary? Expelled like forever? That’s so not fair!” I exclaim hotly. “I can’t control it. I didn’t ask for any of this!”

Lady Shadowburn holds up her hand. “I know, dear. I know this is hard and that you aren’t willfully ignoring your studies.” She turns to Damon. “Mr. Clawfire, you are the mentor for Pyralis Hall. What is your recommendation?”

“I think she should have been bound and banned already,” he says callously, and I gasp. “She’s wild, uncontrollable.”

“I’m not wild.” My hands ball into fists, but I try to keep my irritation from reaching my voice. “The fire is wild, not me.”

“She’s dangerous. To this school and herself.”

“What is your problem, dude?” I ask, standing up and facing him. “What kind of crappy mentor are you?”

“That’s enough, Imogen,” Lady Shadowburn says, slamming her hand down on the table. But then she turns to Damon. “Though, I must agree with her sentiment. As the fire Fae mentor, Mr. Clawfire, what else would you recommend? Having her bound and banned is a very, very last resort. One I would like to avoid. What other steps can she take in the meantime to improve?”

Damon sighs as though doing his job is some great burden. What an ass!

“Practice,” he says. “That’s all she can do. She can’t learn to control it by reading books or not using her powers. She has to use them. But I’m sure Drake here would prefer not being blown up even more often.”

Coach Thorne chuckles a bit. “Yes, well, that is a rather unfortunate side effect of the job. Though it has been many, many years since I have had a student need this much assistance. I can give her some help outside of class, but not the amount she needs. She needs a private tutor. One who can give her daily sessions. And someone powerful enough that she won’t hurt them.”

“Do you have someone in mind?” Lady Shadowburn asks.

Coach Thorne chews at his lip as he nods. “Erick Greyspark. He’s one of my best students. He already assists me with the lower classmen. He would be my choice.”

“So…not Caleb?” I ask.

They all look at me curiously, and Lady Shadowburn crooks an eyebrow.

“I just mean that Caleb was the first person to help me wake up my powers. Erick has been…less willing to help me in the past.”

“I see,” Lady Shadowburn says slowly. “Well, Caleb Darkflame has enough on his plate. I think Erick would be a better candidate, if he’s willing. We can’t force him to offer tutoring on his own time. Should I call him in?”

“No,” I say. I do not want him to make me look even worse in front of these people who hold my future in their hands, especially if he refuses. “I’ll talk to him.”

* * *

Reluctantly, I make my way to the kilcross field where I know Erick is practicing. I sit in the bleachers, watching as he catches the ball and basically parkours over other players. He gets close to the goal, but another student blocks his path. I expect him to perform some sort of Hail Mary to get the goal, but instead he feints and passes the ball to a teammate, who then makes the goal. Everyone watching the practice claps. I have to admit, he’s a team player.

“Okay, everyone,” the kilcross coach yells. “Hit the showers.”

I make my way to the side of the field where Erick is toweling off.

“Good game,” I say, insides squirming. I so don’t want to do this.

“Thanks,” he says. “There’s a ladies’ varsity team if you are interested in trying out.”

“Oh, no thanks,” I say. “Sports aren’t my thing. I have a hard enough time in PE, I mean, Elemental Application.”

“Mmhmm,” he says. “I’ve noticed.”

“Yeah, so that’s kind of why I’m here,” I say. I dig my foot against the grass, hating I need to have this conversation with him. “According to Lady Shadowburn, I could get, like, bound and banned if I don’t improve.”

“That’s true,” he says.

He heads over toward a table that has full cups of water on it—weirdly, they are glass, not paper like the ones used in sports in the human realm—and I follow him, waiting until he downs half a cup. As he places it back on the table, he looks at me like he’s surprised I’m still standing there, but I pretend I don’t notice and just keep talking.

“Yeah, so they said I need a tutor. Someone who, you know, won’t die if I blow them up and is experienced enough to help me. So…how ‘bout it?”

“How ‘bout what?” he asks coolly, picking his drink back up and taking a sip. Jeez, he isn’t going to make this easy.

“How about being my tutor?” I grit between my teeth, trying not to sound as annoyed as I feel.

“So now you want my help, huh?” he asks. “I seem to recall you thinking my method wasn’t very helpful, and turning to someone else.”

“Yeah, well…” I almost blurt out he wasn’t my first choice, and that I would have gone with Caleb if Lady Shadowburn would have let me. But that won’t win him over to my side. “Yeah, well, I now see the error of my ways and think you might be the best person to help me.”

Erick laughs. “Bullshit. You need me, that’s all there is to it. Well, what’s in it for me? What do I get for wasting an hour a day on you?”

“A classmate who won’t blow up the school?” I offer cheekily.

“I can get that if they bound your magic and ban you. With a whole lot less effort, I might add. It’s not enough.”

“What is enough, then?” I’m starting to slide straight passed annoyed into pissed.

He levels his gaze at me. “You know what I want.”

“Not really,” I say, having no idea what he’s getting at.

“My plan,” he says. “To find out who’s behind the attacks at Ohdows.”

“Oh. That.” I sigh. “Fine. I’ll be your bait or your dumb newbie or whatever.”

“Great,” he says. “Let me take a quick shower and then we’ll get started.”

As much as I hate Erick’s attitude, the visual of him taking a shower makes me blush. Why’d he have to say that?

I swallow around the lump forming in my throat. “Yeah, great,” I stammer. “I mean, the part about starting after.”

Shut up, Imogen!

“Well, catch you later. Bye.”

I say the words so fast they’re practically one syllable. Then I walk away as quickly as possible, horrified I’ll have to face him for training every day for gods knows how long.

* * *

And practice we do. I don’t want to be bound and banned. As much as I am starting to miss Mom, I won’t give up. The others keep saying I belong here. If that’s true, then I don’t want to be cast out. I must find a way to stay.

After two days watching me blow myself up, Erick is already sick of me.

“This can’t keep up.” He sounds exasperated, and I can’t even blame him.

“I know!” I spread my arms. “But that’s why you’re here, right? Help me.”

“Chill,” he says. “Okay, so when you are calling up the fire, what is your actual thought process?”

“I take a deep breath,” I say. “I think about control and breathing and moving slow…”

“And in your mind?” he asks. “The actual thought you use to summon the fire?”

“How angry my life makes me,” I answer.

“What?” he asks, looking and sounding taken aback.

“You know, anger…” I say. “I think about something that makes me really mad, and then the fire comes.”

“Why the hell do you do that?” His face is almost comical in his confusion, eyebrows scrunched and eyes puzzled.

“That’s what Caleb told me to do,” I say defensively.

“Did he now?” Erick crosses his arms. I don’t like the way he’s looking down at me, both literally and metaphorically. “Is that what he actually told you?”

I pause, thinking back to the first time I exploded. Well, before I turned into a fireball, when Caleb was running his fingers down my arm.

“No, I guess not. Not exactly,” I say. “He told me to remember the first time I felt the tingling in my fingers. It was this one time my mom made me furious. I wanted to replicate it—the tingling—so I just called up that feeling of anger. Caleb said it can be a very powerful force.”

“True,” he agrees. “For some Fae, they might think it is the only force worth using. But it’s not. There are other feelings, other emotions you can use. Other desires.”

When he stresses the last word, it makes me shiver, though I’m not sure why.

Walking around me, he places a hand on my back to hold me in place when I start to turn around to see his face. Awash in confusion, I stare straight ahead, acutely aware of him behind me, of the heat of his palm through my shirt. “Close your eyes and think about someone you care deeply about,” he murmurs, entirely too close to me for comfort. “Someone you love.”

There are so few people in my life who I would say I love. I want to say Cassie, but I don’t know what she looks like, so I think of Mom. I nod.

“Imagine that person is outside, and it’s snowing,” he continues. “They are cold. Freezing. They are bundled up in a coat, but are still shivering. You worry about them, are afraid this person you love more than anyone else might freeze to death. You would do anything to help them. You reach out with your hand, and gently caress their face with the warmth from your fingertips. It makes them smile, and you can tell just your touch has warmed them up.”

I can see Mom’s face so clearly it’s as if she is standing right there. As she smiles, I feel a tear fall down my cheek. I miss her so much.

“Open your eyes,” Erick whispers.

When I do, I see that my fingers are glowing. Just like they should be.

Damn, he’s a good teacher.

As my heart starts to race in my chest at how close his body is to mine, I quickly take a step forward and turn. What’s my problem? I have a crush on Caleb. Caleb, not Erick. Caleb is one hundred percent perfect for me. And I thought I was one hundred percent into him. But now…

I’m not so sure.