Madison

She wasn’t sure what was more relaxing: the pleasant stroll through the late-spring early-summer full bloom of forest greenery, or the quiet, solid companionship of Kean next to her.

Perhaps it’s both.

Her inner mind might have a valid point for once. There was no reason they both couldn’t be equally relaxing. The fact that Kean had taken her hand as they started walking and hadn’t let go wasn’t lost on Madison. Nor was the fact that she’d not let go of him either. In fact, she was holding onto him, not just letting herself be held.

Truthfully, it felt kinda nice.

Which scared her completely. Madison barely knew Kean, and knew even less about his brothers. She couldn’t go letting herself become too close to him. Not without knowing more about him.

He knows nothing about you, either. It’s likely he knows even less, actually. So don’t forget, he’s probably thinking the same thing as well.

Almost as if on cue, they looked at each other, their eyes meeting. Her bright blue orbs gazing deep into a pair murky hazel seas.

“How did you get involved in all this?” Kean asked as they strolled underneath a particularly large maple tree, the huge trunk reaching high into the sky, its branches thick with leaves that blocked off much of the sunlight.

The air was still somewhat chilly this early in the morning, and Madison felt herself instinctively lean in to his shoulder to stay warm, absorbing some of the excess heat that always seemed to be pulsing off of him.

“In what?”

“The Institute. Fighting it. Spy work, that sort of thing,” he said in broken sentences. “The way you deflected that officer was so smooth and calmly done. I could never have done something like that. I would likely have just panicked and punched my way out of there, the consequences be damned.”

Her shoulders bounced with laughter. “Well, that’s why I’m in charge, not you,” she told him, sticking out her tongue as he laughed. “But in answer to your question,” she continued thoughtfully, “it’s not an overly impressive story.”

“I’d still like to hear it,” he replied softly.

His fingers tightened briefly around hers in a gentle squeeze.

Madison glanced down at her hand.

“Most of it I learned on the job,” she told him. “There were a lot more screw-ups and close calls when I first started fighting them, trying to stop them. But the more I fought, the better I became. It’s mostly just been luck that’s gotten me this far, to be completely honest with you. Any normal person would likely have gotten caught too deep in a lie and been unable to get themselves out of it.”

Kean’s lips pressed together. “That’s not luck,” he said. “That’s skill. It may be you just have a natural affinity toward improv and acting.”

“Maybe,” she said with a shrug. “It’s honestly not something I ever really considered, to be honest with you. I’ve just been more concerned with ensuring that everyone always came back home.” She nodded fiercely. “They always did.”

“Until Raven,” Kean said when she didn’t finish speaking, the words having failed her.

“Until Raven,” she agreed.

“It’s not your fault,” he told her firmly. “These things happen from time to time. Occasionally the bad guys get lucky, or the good guys make a mistake. It happens.”

“Which is exactly why I need to find him. To make it right, to fix my mistake.”

Kean came to an abrupt halt, pulling on her hand until she was forced to turn and face him.

“Listen to me, and listen to me good, Madison. Were you there when this happened?”

She shook her head.

“Did you actively do something that led the Institute to Raven?”

“No,” she admitted. “I don’t know what did.”

“Exactly. So stop trying to take the blame for this onto yourself,” he snapped.

Madison’s head jerked up, her eyes flaring with anger at his verbal slap in the face.

“No,” he said, stopping her before she could begin to speak. “You have to respect Raven. To realize that he made the mistake, not you. You didn’t do this. You can work to rescue him, yes. There’s nothing wrong with that. But you didn’t cause this situation.”

She shook her head. “I did though,” she argued. “If I’d taught him more, gone over things, hell, if I’d been there with him, I could have prevented this.”

He arched an eyebrow. “How do you know? You could have been taken just like he was. Maybe he got overconfident, assumed he’d not been spotted or followed, when in reality he had. That’s not your fault. That is his. You can’t be everywhere at once. You have to trust your subordinates, Madison. To believe in them, that they can do the job.”

“I know,” she said lamely, “it’s just that—”

“No,” he said, cutting her off once more. “They deserve better from you. You can’t micromanage them. You have to train them to the best of your abilities, and then let them go. This is war, Madison. People are going to pay the price for it. As their commander, if that’s what you are, you have to accept that and look past it. If you get so caught up in every casualty, then you’re going to screw up even more, which is going to result in even more people getting caught. Stop moping around and accept that you didn’t cause it. Spend your energy on fixing it, not questioning your competence.”

His words were sharp and acerbic, biting through any defense she may have conjured up to counter his points. Kean wasn’t trying to be mean or beat her down. Heck, he was barely criticizing her. Instead, he was doing something which she should have been doing herself. Kean was focusing her in on what really mattered. The rescue mission.

“You’re right,” she said. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it was. Not right now. Right now all that matters is finding Raven and getting him home to safety.”

Kean nodded fiercely. “I will help you with that,” he said.

“Thank you.”

And just like that, Kean relaxed, a bounce entering his step as he started to walk once more, tugging on her hand, pulling her along with him. Madison matched his jaunty gait, though she walked much more…normally.

“So, who are you?”

She twisted her head to look up at his face. His broad nose twitched again, and she found herself smiling at him. His thick but not unruly eyebrows pushed together slightly as he urged her to answer his question.

“What?” she asked, momentarily distracted by his face to the point she forgot what he’d asked of her.

“Who is Madison Kerber? What did you do before you decided to fight the Institute? What do you do for fun? Any hobbies? What about your family? Are there any siblings, parents? Things like that. What makes you tick?”

Shaking her head at his ability to so easily switch topics and moods, Madison formed an answer.

“I don’t really have any hobbies,” she said slowly. “I spend most of my time fighting the Institute any way I can. It’s kind of a 24/7 type of thing.”

He nodded. “Any family?”

She shrugged. “Two sisters, both ten years older than I am. Parents are retired and spend most of their time cruising around the world. They did fairly well in life. We don’t talk much. I was an accidental child,” she admitted.

“Ah,” was all Kean said. “And before the Institute?”

It was the third time he’d asked her. Madison had tried to dodge the question, but she couldn’t any longer.

“That was another life,” she said, not elaborating. “Right now I’m focused on the Institute.”

“Yeah, you definitely are focused,” he said, seeming to let the issue die for the time being. “Extremely focused, actually. More so than I think I’ve seen anyone.”

“They need to be stopped,” she proclaimed fiercely, her emotions coloring the words.

Kean swayed back from her. “Why do they need to be stopped so badly?”

She considered her answer. Was he ready to know the truth? Her eyes ranged over the rest of his face, taking in the short stubble and smooth lines of his cheeks. She had a good long look as she decided.

“The Institute are bad,” she said at last. “You and your brothers aren’t the first innocents they’ve gone after, and if they aren’t stopped, you won’t be the last.”

It wasn’t a lie. In fact it was completely true. It just wasn’t all of the truth. The larger truth was much more horrifying, and also much more likely to generate a reaction from Kean that she couldn’t afford at that moment.

“How long have you been fighting them?” he asked softly as they continued to walk.

“The better part of two and a half years,” she said. “Ever since I learned about their actions. They’ve been working against some of the smaller shifter territories, getting themselves established there, and worming their way into the dark shadows of government agencies before they started going after places like Cadia or Fenris.”

“They went after Fenris?” Kean asked, surprised.

She nodded. “You didn’t know that? The Institute basically instigated the war between you two by encouraging Fenris to do something it wasn’t ready for.”

Kean seethed, and she didn’t blame him. Fenris was the second largest shifter stronghold after Cadia. The better part of a year earlier they had launched a surprise attack against their rivals, intent on destroying Cadia. She was sure Kean had lost a number of friends to their attacks.

“Those bastards,” he raged.

“Exactly.”

Their meandering brought them back around in a circle to the cabin.

“I never did get to finish that bowl of cereal,” she remarked as her stomach growled. “I’m getting hungry.”

Kean gestured for her to go inside, where he finished cleaning up the spilt milk while she ate her bowl in silence, glancing frequently at the computer screen. Although the food helped relax her, being near the locked files was bringing back a lot of the tension Kean had worked away earlier. The shifter seemed to notice it too.

He reached over and pushed the lid of the laptop down.