Chapter Fifteen
Chloe
The next day, I received a call from Miss Emma. She apologized that she wouldn’t be able to spend any more time with me while I was in town, but she had to leave because her daughter needed her.
Before she hung up, she said, “Carter will be in touch in a few days to see if you need anything. I’m afraid he’s too tied up to call you right now, but you’ll hear from him soon.”
It was clear that the call was to cover her tracks. I wondered if Darrell had gone so far as to bug pack member’s phones. If he had, he would only hear old friends saying good-bye to one another and the promise that someone in the pack would be contacting us.
I wanted Miss Emma to stay safe. She’d risked a lot in sharing what she knew with us.
Even though I believed her completely, I was having difficulty reconciling the Darrell Whelby she described with the man I’d known my entire life. Darrell had always been quick to smile, generous with his time, and always snuck me candy when I was a child. I’d never sensed darkness within him, which was unusual for me. My parents worked hard to teach me how to look beyond the surface of what people wanted me to see, to sniff out lies of omission or evasions.
The idea that we’d all been utterly fooled rubbed me the wrong way.
“I’m going to take a shower,” Lachlan stated, breaking me out of my reverie. “Then we need to talk with your grandmother and Calder.”
I nodded. We wanted to call the night before, but neither of them was available.
Lachlan disappeared into the bathroom and a few moments later I heard the water come on. Immediately, the sound conjured up images in my mind that I shouldn’t entertain. Visions of water pouring down over naked skin and sculpted muscles.
Shaking my head, I stood up and carried the coffee I’d been drinking out on to the front porch. I needed to put distance between us. As I settled on a rickety chair, propping my feet on the railing that surrounded the porch, my cell phone rang.
When I saw the name on the caller ID, I smiled and answered, “I knew you missed me.”
“Yeah, you and my sanity,” Ricki snarked. “You both left at the same time.”
I chuckled. “How are the pups?”
“They’re trying to kill each other on a daily basis, but other than that, they’re good.” Ricki’s tone was indulgent and affectionate, as if spending time with three homicidal shifter toddlers was her favorite thing to do.
I couldn’t blame her for thinking that because the little devils were adorable. I still remembered the look of shock on her face, and Calder’s, when they realized they weren’t having one baby, but triplets. As soon as they’d arrived back at the compound, Calder had hidden in Lach’s house because Ricki was pissed at him for “knocking her up with a litter.”
“How are things going with you?” she asked. “Have you learned anything?”
“More than I bargained for,” I sighed. “We found out that Darrell did kill my parents.”
“What? Why?” Ricki had heard of Darrell, though she’d never met him. I’d told her all about my childhood.
“I don’t know why,” I replied. “But I intend to find out.”
Ricki was silent for a long moment. Finally, she spoke, “How’s Lach doing?”
“He seems better than he’s been in over a year. He’s eating more and gaining weight.”
“He was really upset when you left,” Ricki stated softly. “Especially since you didn’t say good-bye.”
Grateful she wasn’t close enough to smell the lie, I answered, “I didn’t think he’d notice I was gone.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” she retorted. “You ran away because he’s your mate.”
Every muscle in my body froze, locking into place. “What did you say?”
“Lachlan is your mate, isn’t he?”
There was no way I was answering that question. “Why do you think that?”
“Don’t do that,” Ricki snapped. “Don’t answer my question with a question. Calder and I both noticed how you reacted to him. Well, I noticed and mentioned to Calder that I thought you had a crush on Lach. He started paying attention then and told me that you were acting like a she-wolf with her mate.”
I couldn’t say anything. All these months I thought I’d been hiding my feelings, but Calder and Ricki both knew.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Chloe?” Ricki asked.
I stared blindly into the trees that surrounded the cabin, unable to answer. If I started speaking, it would all come out in a flood and now wasn’t the time.
“Chloe?”
“Because it wouldn’t make any difference,” I stated. The words hurt as they escaped my tight throat. “He’ll never see me that way.”
“You don’t know that,” Ricki replied. Her voice was so gentle that tears pricked the backs of my eyelids.
“I do. Even if he recovers enough to want a female, it won’t be me. He’s never been interested in me sexually. Hell, he treats me like a little sister.”
Ricki was quiet for a few moments. “I think you’re wrong.”
“I know I’m not.”
The silence stretched between us for a long time before she finally said, “I just want you both to be happy.”
The tears that threatened moments before returned, spilling out onto my cheeks. I sucked in a ragged breath. “I want to be happy, Ricki, but I don’t think it will be with him.”
“We’ll see,” she said cryptically. I heard a loud crash in the background and three little voices calling out for their mama. “Shit. I gotta go. I love you, Chloe. Be safe.”
“I love you too, darlin’. Call me again soon.”
When she disconnected, I got to my feet and turned to go back into the cabin, freezing when I saw Lachlan watching me from the other side of the screen door. He wore nothing but a pair of jeans and a few stray droplets of water. I’d been so distracted by my conversation with Ricki, I hadn’t been paying attention to my surroundings, which was a good way to get killed considering the danger we were in.
“Hey, I didn’t hear you,” I commented, moving toward him.
I opened the screen door and squeezed by him, trying to ignore the way my breasts tingled when they brushed his naked chest. I carried my coffee mug to the kitchen and set it in the sink.
Lachlan stood only a few feet from me when I turned, his expression concerned. “You’ve been crying,” he declared, the sentence sounding more like an accusation than a statement of fact. “Who were you talking to?”
His tone made my hackles rise. “A friend,” I answered. “And it wasn’t their fault I was crying.”
Lach’s expression softened. “What’s bothering you?”
Shit, I couldn’t tell him the truth. I’d faced down my own death several times in the last thirty-five years. I’d been afraid more times than I could count, but nothing struck bone-deep terror in my heart as much as the thought of telling Lachlan he was my mate. Despite Ricki’s beliefs, I knew that his response would be one of shock, gentle rejection, and very likely, pity.
Instead, I told a half-truth and prayed he wouldn’t be able to smell it. “It’s just being here and seeing people from my childhood…it brings back old memories. It reminds me of what I’ve lost.”
When I said the words, I suddenly realized they weren’t a lie. They were true. However, having him here somehow made it bearable.
Before I realized what was happening, Lach’s arms closed around me, pulling me against his chest. In my bare feet, my forehead fit against the curve of his neck as though the spot were created just for me. He held me close, one hand cupping the back of my head and the other wound around my waist.
The sensation of his bare torso against my body was overwhelming. I’d never allowed myself to imagine that he might hold me like this one day—as if he truly cared about me. Cherished me.
“It’s okay, Chloe,” he murmured against my temple. “Let me take the burden. Just let go.”
My arms went around his waist and I closed my eyes, feeling another tear trickle down my cheek. Then I did as he said.
I let go.
I let myself feel the heat of his body against mine. I relished it. When I relaxed, giving him more of my weight, he did exactly as he said he would. He took the burden, holding me up. With each inhale, I drew in his scent, knowing that it would permeate my clothes and stay with me the rest of the day.
I let myself imagine what it would be like if he held me like this every day for the rest of my life.
That was when reality returned. There would be no embraces in the kitchen every day. No kisses or declarations of love from Lachlan. Because he still loved his mate, a woman who died protecting him.
There was no future for me with Lach and though I thought I’d accepted it, I realized a small seed of hope was still there.
But with this embrace, he’d managed to achieve what I had not. He shattered that seed.
I took a few moments to gather myself and, when I was certain my eyes would remain dry, I opened them.
Then I once again did what he commanded. I let go.
Of Lachlan.