CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Valeria was surprised to wake up in Asher’s bed, solidly trapped in his arms. After the sexual explosion in the kitchen, it had been no wonder that her body had shut down. And for a minute, in this calm and safe bed, she enjoyed the moment, and refused to regret anything, and not think about the future. She wanted him as much as he wanted her, and this time, Valeria had the opportunity to demonstrate it.
It would have been so easy to relax in Asher’s embrace and fall back into dreamland, but reality couldn’t be denied anymore. If there was any chance for them to be together, she had to act, take care of the dangers lurking nearby, threatening them both. And to do so, she needed to speak to Sera alone. It took all her skills, including a little camouflage, but she slid out of bed without him stirring. He would realize she was gone soon, but in the meantime, she would take any lead she could get.
Sanctuary was calm now, bathed in darkness, as she remembered the steps down to the basement. There, near the cell where she was kept when she first arrived, was the bathroom with a nice mirror. That would do.
Well aware that she was surrounded by preternatural creatures that could smell and hear her easily, she moved as silently as possible. She hoped that if she didn’t rush, they wouldn’t really notice her.
Finally in the basement bathroom, she closed the door behind her, flicked the light on and took a deep breath. Strangely, she felt uncomfortable using her magic, now. Taking another breath to steady her nerves, she told herself that she had used her powers mostly successfully since Asher pulled her out of the river. Maybe her condition had been solved, despite what Layla had told her. Maybe her brokenness wasn’t as severe as they all feared.
Facing her reflection, Valeria wove an intricate pattern with her fingers, gathering her powers. It didn’t feel as fluid as she remembered, but it worked. Her face clouded and after a moment, she saw Sera looking back at her.
“Hey! I was worried you would disappear on me again, Val.”
Valeria smiled at her friend. “Not yet. And at this time of night, I didn’t think you’d still be at the shop.”
Sera sighed. “Where do you want me to be? I live for my books, I can’t leave them alone it seems. And if you dare call me a bookworm again, I may be tempted to hurt you.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t have to call you that, I already know you are one.”
Sera rolled her eyes. “You’re in a playful mood. Is this because of that delicious wolf of yours?”
“Direct as always. May I remind you that shifters are off limits, or so we are told.”
Sera arched an eyebrow, teasing. “Off limits for procreation maybe, but not to have fun with. And my dear friend, let me say that you have found yourself an incredible playground.”
Valeria frowned as the image of Asher collided with the one of James.
“Oh ho. I know that look. That’s guilt. You were thinking about James, weren’t you?”
“He pops into my mind, but after two years thinking he was dead when he wasn’t, and he didn’t even come looking for me, it made me realize that what we had was smoke. And if he colluded with my father… just the thought of it makes me shudder. How could I have been so blind?”
Her friend’s tone softened. “Honey, you didn’t know he was alive! Or that he was a traitor who conspired with your father.”
“I should have sensed that what was between us wasn’t the real thing.”
Sera waited a beat. “You can’t know the real thing unless you experience it for yourself. But you’re not calling me because you’re feeling any kind of guilt toward James. That’s not the emotion I get from you. You’re angry, frustrated. You want to go after James and confront him, don’t you?”
Valeria didn’t answer immediately, rubbing her forehead with her fingers. “I want to know the truth, Sera. It just seems like everything I believed has shattered. Everything. My family, my relationship, even my powers.”
“But you did summon your powers to call me, right? And you’re all alone?”
What a strange question. “I did use them, but it wasn’t as easy as usual. And I’m hiding in the basement, in a bathroom.”
Sera nodded but bit her lip. “From everything you told me earlier, I would stick with that wolf of yours if I were you.”
“Why?”
“Every time you used your powers in his presence, it worked fine. As if completely normal. There may be a connection there.”
Valeria didn’t like her friend’s implication. “What connection?”
“He’s a shifter, you’re part shifter… maybe he acts as some sort of stabilizer.”
Valeria frowned in confusion. “I used my magic fine for years before the attack. It doesn’t make sense.”
“I agree it doesn’t, but you know we’re not typical witches. There’s nothing on mixed bloods like us. Don’t think I’m quitting on you, in fact, I found interesting papers about mixed blood shifters, part humans, who had some sort of neurological disorder in infancy. There may be something there.”
Valeria rolled her eyes at her friend. “I’m past infancy, Sera.”
“With that attitude, I sometimes wonder. But you forget that our magic, the essence of our magic, acts on its own inside our bodies. That could have delayed what’s happening inside you. Maybe meeting Asher two years ago was the trigger. The pivotal moment for you. His beast calling yours.”
Fear gripped Valeria. What was happening to her?
“And that disorder, do you have any idea how fast it could do damage?”
Sera shook her head. “We’re speculating here, Val. We don’t know yet what it is or what’s really causing it. Until I find something solid, be careful. And keep Asher close if you use magic, as it seems to slow down, or even stop, what is happening to you.”
Valeria nodded, knowing it would reassure Sera, but inside, fear, frustration, and anger didn’t mix well.
“Keep me posted, Sera. I’ll try to drop by later.”
“Okay. I’ve reached Violet, but she’s in transit, so that may take awhile.”
Forcing herself to smile, Valeria waved and ended the connection. Alone inside the small bathroom, she fought against the tears and screams that were begging to come out. Having her powers shaken was one thing, but the possibility of losing them completely unhinged her.
Still minding the noise she made, and how fast she was going, she exited the bathroom and made her way to the main floor. Still in the dark, Valeria felt people asleep all around the house, and even Asher still tranquil in his room. She couldn’t go back, not now. Instead, she summoned herself clothes. The transition was better than downstairs, but she refused to acknowledge the truth of Sera’s findings. Not yet.
Valeria scanned for the sentinels on the ground and felt them close by, but not enough to block her path. Hiding her scent and blurring her form, she walked the lawn toward the forest. Her sight strangely wavered for a moment, but she continued to walk until her equilibrium steadied again. Ceaselessly scanning the area to avoid any intruders, the flow of power she used drained her quickly. Reassured that she was mostly alone and would be for quite some time, she stopped to catch her breath, and listen.
The night was getting colder as autumn was making way to winter. But the forest was still bustling with life and noises. It took her only a moment to sift through the sounds and find what she was searching for.
A slight stream, so very low due to the cooling temperatures. For several minutes, she walked alongside the flowing water until she reached a small pond, quite smaller than the one where she had been with Asher. But it would do.
Letting herself fall to her knees, Valeria waited for her body to calm down and steady. After a moment, her surroundings cleared, and she started to notice small details, like the cold earth against her shins, the enticing smell of rotting leaves, the cold breeze against her reddening cheeks, the heart that beat strongly in her chest and the stars glittering in the crisp autumn sky. Her body swayed gently to the rhythm of nature. And ever so gently, she started summoning her magic. At first, it flowed through her as it did a long time ago, and then it was as if fire burned in her veins. The pain was such that it almost made her faint.
Not relinquishing her hold on the spell, she pushed the pain away and focused on the pond. The spell wove and made the dark reflective surface ripple. Placing both her hands in front of her, she willed the mirror-like surface to reveal where James Cooper was hiding. Images swirled over the water, and bubbles came to the surface. Tracking using water was more accurate than using a mirror, and guaranteed that nobody could trace back the summoner, but it was costly. Even for a powerful witch, it took a toll, and with her fragmented magic, it would soon be overwhelming. Her vision blurred, the pain bringing tears, but she blinked them away as the image became clearer. His father’s cabin in the woods. He had only taken her there once, but it was not far from her family’s estate, and she remembered the place well. A ramshackle cabin in the hills.
The moment her brain registered the location, her magic dropped. The sensation was devastating, as if her skin was torn from her body and her stomach burst into flames. Valeria howled, the sound tearing from her lungs, unable to refrain it.
She didn’t know what was happening, but her brain was in an electrical storm that lasted a century. Or maybe less than that, because when she finally could draw breath, and survive the pain gripping her body, it was still night. No longer kneeling, but huddled in a ball, she relished the coolness of the fresh mud against her burning cheek. And she regretted being still alive.
It didn’t occur to her that she was sobbing until her body shook, making her aching muscles spasm. Drawing a breath was like inhaling the sharp edges of a shattered knife. She couldn’t live without her magic. No, she wouldn’t live without having that entity that made her who she was, that had forged her the moment she had been born, and the strength she had discovered inside herself during those two years in the streets.
What good was she without magic?
Her throat was so raw that when she screamed in despair again, it sounded more like a screech. Drained from her spell, cold from tiredness, the image of Asher came to her mind. She remembered the heat of his skin, his golden skin and shimmering hair. He was like a sun god, all heat and warmth. Valeria wondered how it felt to be the mate of this alpha werewolf. She wondered why her father never wanted her to meet with any of them. So far, they were rough on the edges but truthful, direct to a fault. There were no games with him, and when he wanted her, there was nothing hidden, waiting in the shadows for retaliation or profit. But she couldn’t want him, there was nothing in this world for them apart from inconsequential sex. And she couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that Asher worked as a stabilizer for her. An anchor. There was no way she would use him. Not even to retain her magical abilities.
Asher would want a family, a lifetime partner on which he would be able to rebuild something. And she would need to go away. Far, far away, and even then, Valeria doubted she could find a place that would shield her from her feelings for him.
Damn, she was in love with the werewolf. And that was the worst thing that could possibly happen to her.