Chapter Thirty-Two
“Me?” She laughed. “I’m the one who’s been acting strange?”
“You’ve threatened to kick me multiple times.”
“You’re right, I did, and with good cause. You haven’t said a single nice thing to me this evening except when you asked me about the cake. I realize you’re used to looking good all the time, but I put extra effort into my appearance this evening. It would be nice if you recognized that fact.”
He sat forward in his chair. “Seriously?”
It took skill to put so much contempt into such a short answer. Fire sparked in her gut. She closed her eyes and thought of snow. “Do you care to expand on that answer?”
“You’re being ridiculous.” He stood like he planned to leave.
Bryn ticked items off on her fingers. “You spent the first part of the evening avoiding me. You left me sitting by myself for the first dance and didn’t realize it was a problem until my grandmother pointed it out. You did work to make everyone believe that you didn’t mean to insult me or try to break our marriage contract because apparently, appearances matter more than my actual feelings, and now you’re acting like I’m the one with the problem. What in the hell is going on?”
“Why did you buy me those books?” Jaxon asked.
Okay. He didn’t answer her question but at least he was talking to her. “I wanted to find something you’d like. I didn’t want to do the impersonal-expensive gift. I wanted it to mean something.”
Jaxon reached into his jacket and pulled out another jeweler’s box. He came to sit next to her on the chaise. “I brought two gifts.” He popped open the lid on a sapphire and diamond bracelet that twinkled in the lights. “Behold the impersonal expensive gift. The one I didn’t give you because I wanted to give you something that had meaning, too.”
Okay. Where was he going with this? And then she understood. “You were hedging your bets in case I didn’t buy you something personal?”
He nodded. “And I traded in the bracelet I’d ordered for Rhianna to partially pay for these. Not because I needed the money, but I needed to do it to move on…to move forward in my relationship with you.”
“Okay.” How should she respond? “You get credit for that but why did you spend the first part of the evening ignoring me?”
He closed the jeweler’s box and shoved it back in his pocket. “I didn’t know how to deal with you.”
He sat close enough that she could look into his eyes and see he was being truthful. Too bad what he was saying didn’t make sense. “What are you talking about? You deal with me every day at school.”
“I do.” He reached over and touched one of the loose pieces of hair that wasn’t bound up by the hairpin. His fingers brushed across her neck, giving her goosebumps. His gaze locked onto hers. “But I’ve never seen you like this.”
Bryn froze. How am I supposed to respond to that comment? What does he mean? How is he seeing me? And why is he sitting so close? Okay, if it was any other guy she’d think he was about to kiss her…but this was Jaxon. He didn’t want to kiss her…did he? And even if he did, did she want to kiss him, especially after his weird behavior this evening?
“If I’d never been involved with someone else,” he said. “I don’t think I’d be so confused.”
She’d like to think she wouldn’t spend the rest of her life with Jaxon haunted by the Ghost-of-a-Girlfriend past. Not that she expected him to forget, but it would be nice if he could move on. If they could both move on. Trading in the bracelet was a step in the right direction.
“The possibility of us as a real couple isn’t something I ever imagined,” he said. “Until I saw you tonight. It’s strange how your hair could make such a difference.”
And what could she say to that? She was still the same person. “It’s just a new hairstyle.”
“No. It’s not. It’s me seeing you in a different light. After touring the estate the other day things just feel different, don’t you think?”
“Different good or different bad?”
“I’m not sure.”
Her heart rate bumped up a notch. Was he asking what she wanted? What do I want? She wanted someone who wanted her, not someone who was stuck with her and making the best of it.
“This feels like a pivotal moment,” he said.
“It does.”
“So what do we do?” he asked.
How the hell am I supposed to know? “Pivot?”
“Okay, then. I guess we’ll head in a new direction.” He closed the distance between them and Bryn tensed as he pressed his mouth against hers. What if the kiss was terrible? And what in the hell was she thinking kissing a Westgate?
But it wasn’t terrible. And maybe she just needed to stop thinking and give this a chance. His lips were soft and warm and his hand on her cheek felt natural. She tilted her head to the right for a better angle and kissed him back. And even though he was a Blue and normally cold and standoffish, there was heat.
All her concerns about how this could possibly work between them disappeared as he pulled her close. His arms around her felt right, and he tasted like hot cocoa, so she let go and lost herself in the moment.
When he ended the kiss, she opened her eyes and found him smiling at her. She realized she was smiling back.
“Hey, there,” she said.
“So, we’re pivoting now?” he said.
“I’m not opposed to the idea.”
“Good,” and then he leaned in again. Just as his lips brushed across hers, the living room door opened.
“There you are,” her grandmother said.
Bryn froze. Jaxon slowly sat back. They both looked at her grandmother who was acting like she hadn’t just walked in and interrupted a kiss. Although she was smiling like this had been her plan all along.
“Sorry to interrupt, but you can’t just disappear from the Ball. People will talk. Come along.”
Bryn’s grandmother turned and left the room.
“That wasn’t awkward at all,” Bryn said, attempting to make a joke.
Jaxon stood. “People are probably expecting only one of us to come back alive. Let’s go dance to show them everything is okay.”
Bryn stood and followed him back to the ballroom and out to the dance floor. Was everything okay? She wasn’t sure. It was more like everything was awkward and strange with a side of my-life-may-not-totally-suck-after-all.
When Jaxon pulled her close on the dance floor this time, it felt like she was somehow more connected to him. “Why does it feel like everyone is staring at us?” Bryn asked.
“Because they are,” Jaxon said.
“Not helping.” She met his gaze.
He smiled at her and it was a smile she hadn’t seen before. It was a bit mischievous and somewhat snarky, with a dash of we-have-a-special-secret.
“You’ll adjust. Westgates tend to attract attention.”
And now he was thinking of her as a Westgate, which technically she would become, but holy crap, this was weird. “Why do I feel like they all know about the pivoting?”
“I’m sure your grandmother will be discreet,” Jaxon said.
“You’re probably right.” Or she’d tell everyone, in order to counteract the strange incident earlier this evening, but no way was she mentioning that to Jaxon.
They danced to three more songs before the orchestra announced that it was the last song. The opening notes of “Auld Lang Syne” floated through the room.
“I’ve never understood the lyrics to this song,” Bryn said.
“I think it’s about remembering the past, and honoring it, while looking forward to what the New Year will bring,” said Jaxon. “Which is oddly perfect for this moment.”
Bryn didn’t comment. She just held her breath and hoped that this optimistic trend would continue.
At the end of the song, Jaxon released Bryn but he kept one hand on her lower back as he walked her back to the table where her grandparents sat.
“We’re going to say goodbye to the guests now,” her grandmother said, “and that includes you.”
“I already knew that.” Where did that leave Jaxon?
“I’ll help my parents gather their things and see you on the way out,” Jaxon said.
Bryn followed her grandparents to the main doors, where they thanked everyone for coming. Jaxon’s family was last to leave. Even though she knew there was no chance that he’d kiss her goodbye in front of other people, she was a little disappointed when he didn’t.
…
Christmas morning, Bryn woke with a sense of relief. She’d survived the Christmas Ball. Even though Jaxon had been inconsiderate with the whole first-dance thing, he hadn’t been malicious. And the incident showed he wasn’t perfect, which was oddly reassuring. And then there was the whole kiss thing. The singular kiss which hadn’t been repeated, but the dancing had been nice. And the smile he’d given her when he’d said good night had been genuine. Butterflies had looped around in her stomach.
She’d been afraid her grandmother would grill her once the Westgates had left, but thankfully, neither of her grandparents asked any questions. Bryn had retreated to her room where she’d fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.
She showered and dressed in jeans and a cashmere sweater. It was vacation after all. She should be able to wear jeans. She put on boots instead of tennis shoes in an attempt to somewhat appease her grandmother. When she reached the small dining room it was empty. That was strange. Maybe they were in the atrium. She went up the stairs and headed toward her grandmother’s favorite area of the house. Sure enough, the rich scent of coffee mingled with the smell of green growing things.
“Good morning,” her grandmother said from the table where she sat drinking coffee by herself. Uh-oh. There was a platter of fruit, bagels, and Christmas cookies, but the table was set for two. Did her grandparents want to eat alone? Was she interrupting?
“Where’s your other half?” Bryn asked.
“We had breakfast together about an hour ago.”
Okay. Then this spot was for her. She sat and grabbed a bagel, slathering it with cream cheese.
“I thought you’d go straight for the Christmas cookies,” her grandmother said.
“I was trying to act mature, but if you insist.” Bryn grabbed a star-shaped cookie covered with green icing and took a bite before pouring herself a cup of coffee.
“So,” her grandmother said, “how do you think the ball went last night?”
Did she really want to discuss the kiss with her grandmother? “No one attacked, so I’d say it went well.” She finished off her cookie and picked up her bagel.
“That was a relief,” her grandmother said. “And how about what I interrupted when I came looking for you?”
Bryn’s cheeks warmed. Then again, who else could she talk to about this? “That was a surprise, but a nice one.” She told her about Jaxon’s comment about seeing her in a new light and how it had confused him.
“Good. Although I’m still displeased about the first dance. Did he explain that?”
“Sort of. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me, but I’d like to think it was just a mistake.”
“On his part, perhaps, but I’m not sure about Rinata’s innocence,” her grandmother said. “She would have heard that his marriage contract had been approved.”
“Maybe it was her way of standing up for her sister,” Bryn said. “I’ve been worried that Rhianna would always come between Jaxon and I, but I think he’s made peace with the situation.”
“I don’t see any reason why you can’t have a good relationship with him.”
Since they were sharing, Bryn said, “Speaking of relationships, is it my imagination or do you seem to be getting along better with your significant other?”
Her grandmother smiled. “It’s not your imagination. We’ve decided to spend more time together socially. After the attacks I think we both realized how much we could have lost. Whatever the reason, I plan to enjoy it while it lasts.”
That made it sound like she didn’t expect it to continue.
“I see that look on your face. Heed my advice. Enjoy the time you have when Jaxon is being agreeable. His personality will change with the political climate. Don’t allow that to blindside you.”
Talk about conflicting advice. “So I should be pessimistically optimistic?”
“Yes.”
Bryn sighed. “Just when I think I understand how things might work, they change.”
“You’ve just summarized life in general,” her grandmother said. “We should talk about dinner tonight.”
“Why does it sound like you’re about to say something unexpected and possibly disturbing?”
“Because you’re perceptive.” Her grandmother grinned. “A few ground rules. No jeans allowed, and you should wear that hairpin again.”
“Why?” She was pretty sure she knew the answer to that question.
“I believe Lillith is trying to make up for Jaxon’s social blunder last night, so she’s invited us to Westgate Estate for Christmas dinner.”
“Oh.” She’d thought her grandmother was about to say that Jaxon and his family would be coming here. Going there added a whole other layer of anxiety.
“Care to elaborate?” her grandmother said.
“I’m not sure whether I should be excited or slightly terrified,” Bryn said. “Jaxon’s mood can change in a split second. Not to mention the fact that I’ll have to spend the evening with Ferrin.”
“You’ll become accustomed to Ferrin. Soon you won’t even notice when he’s in the room.”
Bryn laughed. “Right. He might have agreed to the marriage contract but that doesn’t mean he likes being around me any more than I like being around him. I always feel like I’m waiting for him to insult me.”
“It’s just his way,” her grandmother said. “Be grateful that Lillith tempered his influence on Jaxon.”
“I’m grateful for that every time I’m around Ferrin,” Bryn said.
“Do you want me to help you pick out a dress for this evening?”
“Yes, because I don’t want Ferrin to have any excuse to insult me.”
…
Bryn checked her reflection in the mirror. “Are you sure this dress isn’t too much?”
The black dress her grandmother had suggested Bryn wear was a little revealing. The V-neck plunged deeper than anything she’d ever worn. “I mean I want Jaxon to like me, but I hadn’t planned on flashing my cleavage at him or anyone else…ever.”
Her grandmother smiled. “That is a perfectly respectable neckline, but if it makes you feel awkward, we’ll go with something else.”
“Thank you.” She could do awkward all on her own without a revealing dress.
Her grandmother went to Bryn’s closet, which seemed to be magically stocked with new clothes on a regular basis. Maybe her grandmother belonged to a Fashion Finds-of-the-Month-Club where clothes were shipped to the house.
She returned with a navy off-the-shoulder dress that had three quarter sleeves. Bryn changed into the new dress. “Much better. I don’t mind showing my shoulders.”
“I have the perfect necklace to go with that neckline.”
Bryn followed her grandmother down the hall to a room that had a keypad rather than a doorknob. Her grandmother entered a long series of numbers and the door swung open. Even though she’d been inside the special room which was basically a jewelry vault, she was still amazed by the display cases full of jewelry made with every precious stone imaginable. Everything in the vault had been passed down through generations of Sinclairs and would put most jewelry stores to shame.
“Since Jaxon gave you the snowflake bracelet, I think you should wear this.” Her grandmother approached a case of diamond necklaces and retrieved one which had a diamond snowflake as the centerpiece.
“It’s beautiful.” She accepted the necklace and held it in place while her grandmother fastened the clasp. It was stunning. “I swear it still feels like I’m playing the part of a princess in a fairy tale and someone is going to announce I’m an imposter.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Her grandmother’s tone was a tad defensive. “You are my granddaughter and you’re exactly where you belong.”
“Thank you.” Bryn hugged her grandmother. “If Ferrin is mean can I stab him with my hairpin?”
“No.”