Chapter 11
After Christian stormed out, Tiffany leaned forward and dropped her face in her hands. Tears began to stream down her cheeks, wracking sobs followed. She’d never been a bawl baby, but the dam holding back the semi load of torturous emotions had burst and there was no stopping the ensuing tidal wave.
When the tears subsided, she grabbed a couple tissues off the bedside table, blew her nose, then curled up on her side. Shame began to overshadow her anger and self-pity. She’d behaved outrageously earlier, but at the time, all she could think of was getting out of this damned vampire hospital.
She didn’t feel safe here. Someone in this building had tried to kill her and failed. If they tried again, which was a very real possibility, they might be successful the next time. She was terrified and it had come down to an innate flight or fight thing. Flight had seemed the sensible option because she had no idea who had tried to kill her.
She reached down, pulled the covers over her, then let out a miserable whine. This was all such a mess. She felt horrible she’d caused such a scene and bit Christian’s partner and threw down with his staff members. Why couldn’t anyone understand she just wanted to go home where she felt safe.
Well, let people think of her what they may. She’d been poisoned, turned into a vampire against her will, then tied down in a bed like a lunatic in an asylum when she’d tried to flee. Her own family had sided with Christian which made her feel even more betrayed and alone. Blake or someone here had tried to kill her. Wouldn’t it make sense that this should be the last place on earth she ought to be? And everyone thought she was the crazy one!
She heard a crunching noise and looked up. It was that older nurse, Betty stepping across the glass shards on the floor at the entrance to her room. Judging from the tight-lipped expression she wore, she was none too happy with her either.
“Dr. La Mond has a transfusion ordered for you. However, he told me any treatment you receive from here on out is PRN, meaning it’s up to you.”
Tiffany noticed she held a unit of blood and could smell it. The fact it smelled delicious sickened her, but she suspected her body needed it. “Fine. And you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to hurt you. I’m sorry about earlier. I just couldn’t stand being here another moment. Someone here tried to kill me. You know that, right?”
The nurse offered her a small smile. “Dear, according to your chart it was food poisoning. I doubt it was intentional.”
Tiffany stared at her, trying to wrap her mind around the nurse’s statement. For some reason, Christian must have omitted the truth of her near demise from her chart. For a brief second she wondered if her illness had been spawned by a food born pathogen, but then she remembered those pregnant ladies who had lost their babies due to the same poisons that had nearly killed her. She knew Christian spoke the truth on the matter. It was becoming apparent he also spoke true about her near-death experience. She hadn’t wanted to believe him or that someone hated her enough to want her dead. Then again maybe someone hated Christian enough to want the people he cared about dead. That made the most sense and her blood run cold.
Oh, God. If that was true, she’d been so unfair to him. “What have I done?” she whined.
“What nearly anyone would have done when they woke up to discover they were no longer the same person. I understand everything that’s happened to you has been frightening and overwhelming.” She approached her bed, then hung the bag of blood on the IV pole and began hooking it up.
As she worked, she said, “Many years ago, I took care of your mother and sister after they turned. At first it was very difficult for your mother. She too had troubles adjusting to vampire life.”
She knew that to be true. Her mother had told her the same thing this morning, but it went in one ear and out the other because she’d been so furious with Christian for putting her in this position. Her mother had not only been dealing with a scary new life, but a way to keep from freaking out her children. Yeah, she had it a hell-of-a-lot easier than her mom. “Now that you mention it, I remember you from back then. Again, I’m really sorry for my ‘vampires gone wild’ scene a while ago. I just couldn’t deal with being in this place one more minute.”
Betty let out a soft laugh. “Understandable, but Dear, you might feel fine, but you’re not ready to go home just yet. Dr. La Mond knows how badly you want out of here and I assure you he’ll release you the minute he’s confident you’re healthy enough to go.”
Tiffany nodded. Betty was right. Of course Christian was concerned about her health which made her behavior even more deplorable. Christian tried to explain things, give her answers, but she’d tuned him out, too angry to listen. She hadn’t been fair in her thinking or reasonable. Why would Christian turn her to give a romantic relationship between them better advantage for him? He’d have to be beyond diabolical to do something like that and she knew Christian better. He was good, kind and ethical. He’d built a thriving practice on those virtues. If he’d said he’d turned her because she was about to bite it, then she truly had been at death’s door.
God! What had come over her?
She owed Christian a huge apology. Poor Asa and those nurse aides, orderlies, whatever they were. She might never repair that damage.
“Are you hungry, dear? You wouldn’t eat your dinner. I’ll be happy to go to the cafeteria and bring you some breakfast.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m not hungry.” Her stomach felt as if it had rocks rolling around inside. She’d be eating nothing here. She’d starve first.
Betty reached out and gave her hand a pat. “If you change your mind let me know. And for what it’s worth, remember you have so many people who love you and want to help you through this. Let them.” She glanced across the room littered with bouquets of flowers.
Tiffany followed her line of sight. She’d noticed them of course, but could have cared less who had sent them until now. Betty was right. She had an amazing family. An outrageously huge bouquet of at least twenty-four roses interspersed with fern leaves and baby’s breath sat on the bedside table to her left. Had to be from her mom and Nathan, she thought. There were at least eight or nine other vases holding beautiful arrangements scattered about the room on available surfaces. One in particular caught her attention, a very nice arrangement of mostly wild flowers; white daisies, cosmos, larkspur, baby’s breath, purple irises and several more species she couldn’t identify. It was breathtaking and stood out among the rest.
When she was a kid her mom gave her and her sisters tiny garden plots to plant whatever they wished. Practical Chelsie generally planted vegetables. Dannie possessed an affinity for herbs and edible flowers. Tiffany had used her plot for wildflower mixes. She’d always been partial to them. Some years they spouted and did great, some years they didn’t, but when they did, she’d spread vases of her pride and joys about the house.
She looked back at Betty and asked, “Would you mind getting me the card off of that wildflower bouquet over there?” She pointed.
“Of course, dear.” She walked across the room retrieved it then handed to her.
Tiffany opened the tiny envelope and pulled out the card. It read, ‘I’m so happy to have you back in the land of the living. I hope you’ll enjoy these. I don’t know why, but they just seemed like you. Love, Christian.’
She swallowed back a huge lump in her throat and looked up at Betty. “Thank you. If it’s alright, I’d like to be alone.”
Betty gave her an understand look then said, “Of course, Honey.”
Once she left, Tiffany began to bawl again. This time not from self-pity, anger or fear, but from humility and a couple of other emotions she wasn’t ready to put a title to.
* * *
Tiffany sat down on the edge of the bed to pull on her Ropers. She’d just finished a long jacuzzi bath in one of her mom and Nathan’s guest rooms, which would be her home away from home for the next week or so.
Nathan had more private residences than a major sub development, but this one in New Orleans was her favorite of those she’d visited. Located in a historical part of the city, the house was a rambling, pristine white antebellum mansion with a wide porch wrapping across the front, sides and back. The inside had been outfitted mainly with antiques, most of which were older than Nathan himself and that was saying something.
As nice as the home’s amenities were, she wasn’t particularly pleased about staying here.
The house teamed with the Davenport/Peebles clan and friends, all gathered here to pray and support her. She’d much rather be at her apartment, sleeping in her own bed, alone without people asking her how she was doing every five minutes, but it was nice to know so many people cared.
Christian had released her from the V clinic hospital early this morning, but with several conditions. He wanted her to stay with her mom and Nathan both for her protection against this lunatic and to have them help her adjust to vampire life.
Tiffany couldn’t wait for him to arrive. Tonight, she hoped to discover if indeed Blake was behind her attempted murder. Christian had told her upon her awakening that he would enchant Blake at first opportunity which would be today, Monday. He hadn’t said anything about doing so this morning and she hadn’t asked. He’d been in a mood since the night she’d made that scene with Asa in his waiting room. She could hardly blame him. She’d destroyed furniture, the drywall, bit his partner, punched and racked Christian and caused a ridiculous amount of mayhem for his staff. The person who did all that wasn’t the real her. Christian couldn’t understand how angry and terrified she’d been to wake up as a vampire. Then to find out someone tried to murder her—well it was too much.
She sighed and tugged on her left boot. She expected him to arrive shortly. He told her this morning as part of her after care he would be giving her nightly transfusions and drawing blood to make sure she continued to test okay for whatever cocktail of poisons had nearly killed her.
Once they were alone, she’d apologize. Hopefully he’d cooled off enough to hear her out. If not, then maybe it was for the best. Problem solved regarding whatever thing had been developing between them. She couldn’t have handled an ongoing sexual relationship with Christian anyway.
Tiffany went back into the bathroom to apply a little make-up. She sighed as she took in her appearance in the large gilded frame mirror. Her eyes, the one thing most vibrantly different now, were a shiny shade of dark amber, just like her mom’s and Dannie’s. She shivered as they glittered in the soft track lighting above the sink. No need for bright lighting in a vampire bathroom or anywhere for that matter. She could see better in the dark than broad daylight with sunglasses. A hunting adaptation—one she would never need. She’d sooner die than drink blood from a human being.
On the tail of that thought, a knock sounded at her bedroom door. She sniffed, catching wind of both her mom’s and Christian’s scent. Her sense of smell was incredible now. Her hearing too. There were a few benefits to this life she’d never wanted, Tiffany supposed. She sighed, dabbed on a bit of lip gloss then went to answer the door.
“Honey, don’t you look lovely tonight?” her mother chirped brightly as she entered the room. Christian followed her with a large, blue plastic box which she suspected held transfusion supplies. “Doesn’t she, Christian?”
Christian flashed a friendly smile and said, “You look great, Tiffany. How do you feel?”
“I’m fine, Christian. What did you find out about Blake?”
His smile faded. “He isn’t behind this, Darlin’. I enchanted him, but found no duplicity in him. No memories surfaced during the time I had him in my thrall that would lead me to believe he’d harmed you or any of the V clinic patients.”
This was not good news. She didn’t particularly want Blake to be guilty she just wanted whoever was behind this caught. “So, what’s next then?”
“I wish I knew. Noah and Asa are working on the case around the clock. I’ll be talking to them later tonight. Whatever I learn you’ll know, I promise.”
She nodded. “So, how are you?”
“Fine.”
His expression was still cordial enough but there was a chill in the air emanating from him. He was still mad at her, Tiffany could tell. He had every right to be, she supposed.
“Look, Christian, I’m sorry for making that scene with Asa and messing up your waiting room. I’m also sorry for upsetting your staff and patients when I bolted. Both times. And I’m sorry I wouldn’t listen to you when you tried to explain why you felt you had no choice but to turn me to save my life.”
He nodded once. “Apology accepted.”
No. She wasn’t buying that. Her words hadn’t made much of an impression on him at all, judging from his tight-lipped expression, but this was the finale in her ass kissing repertoire. If it wasn’t good enough, he could kiss hers. She shot Christian a hard look and thrust out her arm. “Let’s get this done.”
Her mother sighed heavily and shook her head. “I know things are strained right now, Christian, but please don’t give up.”
“Yeah,” is all he said, with an edge of sarcasm.
“Well I should go check on dinner. I made lasagna. Will you join us, Christian?”
“Sure. Sounds great.” He gave Mia a kind smile then began extracting supplies for Tiffany’s transfusion.
Tiffany frowned as she watched her mother close the door. “What did she mean by don’t give up?”
“It doesn’t matter right now, Tiffany.”
It did to her. She knew her mother well and she wouldn’t have made that comment unless Christian had said something to her about the two of them. “What have you been saying to my family while I was lights out?”
He shot her a stony look then walked over to an IV pole next to her bed and hung a saline solution bag along with a unit of blood. “Nothing we need to be discussing right now. Give me your arm.”
She obliged and he tied a rubber thingy around her upper arm. Next, he pulled on some latex gloves and opened a package that held an IV needle. He remained broodingly silent as he worked, which irritated Tiffany. She understood his side of things. Why couldn’t he understand hers?
“You know what, Christian? You’re being a real dick. When’s the last time someone tried to snuff your ass? Then imagine waking up from that nightmare only to find out you aren’t even you anymore, but something else entirely. Then when you get a little upset, people tie you up like an asylum lunatic. FYI, your bedside manner sucks a big one.”
He stopped what he was doing and glared at her. “A little upset? The fact is you can be hell on wheels; stubborn and childish without a lick of self-control. When you get like that you drive me crazy. I understand how devastating all this has been for you, but you pushed away every person who reached out to help you understand and cope. Especially me.”
His speech hurt her feelings, but he was right about one thing. She had pushed everyone away, wouldn’t talk about her feelings and wouldn’t listen to any advice. “I said I was sorry. I don’t know what else I can say at this point.”
“Like I said, apology accepted.” He inserted the IV then placed some surgical tape on her arm to keep the needle in place. Finished, he sat next to her on the bed and studied her with an aggravated frown.
“What are you fixing to ream me about now?”
“I’m not going to ream you, Tiffany. I forgive you. You hurt me too, you know. I tried to talk to you, explain why I had to make the decision I did in a mere split second, but you wouldn’t listen. Since I couldn’t gauge you’re state of mind, because I’d never in a million years probe your thoughts, I had no choice but to restrain you. You were out of control. I don’t think you realize what could have happened in the waiting room that night. Asa’s a big guy, but you could have seriously injured him. The human CNA’s you could have killed. Literally. The strength and power you have now is ten times the human Tiffany. I know you didn’t realize that at the time, but it didn’t make the incident any less scary for everyone involved. One of the CNA’s quit.”
“Oh, God,” she murmured against fingers pressed to her lips. She’d had no idea it hadn’t been a fair fight. Nor had she a single clue of the danger level even when she’d been pummeling the human guys and hurling solid oak and leather furniture at them.
“You—you’re right. I wasn’t in my right mind. Protecting myself was the only thing real in those moments, so I fought. I had no idea it wasn’t a fair fight, particularly with the human guys. Can’t you understand how scared I was to be there? Especially tied down when the person who did this to me could be anyone and could have made another attempt on my life?”
He reached out and took her hand. “I understand that completely, but Darlin’ you were safe. I swear. Throughout every moment of your turning, I was there or one of your family members. Other than Betty no one administered blood or meds to you but me and I trust Betty implicitly. I would never put you in harm’s way.”
She squeezed his hand. “I believe you now.”
I’m glad, but what I don’t understand was why you wouldn’t believe me when I told you a turning had been the only choice I had to save your life. We’ve had our ups and downs since our relationship took a turn toward intimacy, but through it all, I believed you trusted me. It hurt like hell when I realized how little you did. Maybe still do.”
His honesty cut deep, made tears sting her eyes. She couldn’t say anything to that because she hadn’t trusted him or she wouldn’t be scared to death he’d hurt her if she opened her heart and gave this relationship a shot. Sadly, she was still too scared to consider that option, but she very much wanted to trust his professional judgement. He’d saved her life. She knew that now. How did she get a thank you through to him that would make an impression when he was still so disillusioned with her?
“You okay?”
“I will be. That was a lot to digest, but I understand things better now. I believe you did what you did to save me. I really do and I’m very grateful to be alive. Thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.” She squeezed his hand again and sniffed.
He squeezed back. “I’ve been hoping to hear words like that from you for days. You can’t imagine how grateful I am you are alive and your family is too. We all love you and none of us would be the same without you in our lives.”
Whoa. Back that comment up. He loved her? In what regard? “What do you mean, you love me?”
Embarrassment crept into his features, but he covered the emotion with a patient smile. “Just what I said. I love you. As a friend, of course first. I just didn’t realize exactly how deep those feelings went until I nearly lost you. No pressure. I’m not expecting any declarations on your part.”
No pressure, hell! He’d just dropped the relationship A-bomb and Tiffany could hardly draw a breath, let alone think about her own convoluted feelings for him. “Christian, I don’t even know what to say to that. I love you too as a friend, but I can’t give you what you really need and want.”
“What is it you think I really need?”
“How about for starters, a person who is solid in themselves. I don’t know who the hell I am anymore. I’m now Tiffany Peebles the vampire. What does that mean? How dare you tell me you love me when you can clearly see I’m fucked in the head right now?”
He closed his eyes for a few seconds and sucked in a sharp breath. “I’m sorry, Tiffany. I was just being honest. I didn’t mean to add insult to your injury.”
“Well you did. Even if I wasn’t such a hot mess right now, I still feel the same way as I did before about getting emotionally involved with you. It wouldn’t be a good idea for either one of us.”
“Why?”
“Does it really matter?”
“Yes, it matters a great deal to me. I just told you how I felt.”
“But I don’t feel the same way, Christian and probably never will. You deserve better than that.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. I know you have feelings for me. What’s the real reason you won’t give the two of us a chance?”
“That’s my business and I don’t want to talk about it. Look I know this is going to take awhile.” She glanced up at the IV pole. “Why don’t you go hang out with the others so I can watch my show.” She grabbed the remote off the bedside table and punched the on button. It’s a stupid sitcom. I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested.”
Apparently, he got her brush off message loud and clear. He stood, his expression tight, his tone too. “Enjoy. I’ll be back in about thirty minutes.”
She watched him leave, knowing she’d hurt him. Once again. She punched the off button on the remote as soon as the door closed, and drug a hand through her hair. “Shit, Christian. Are you trying to drive me crazy? If so you’re doing a bang-up job.”
She’d just had a trust breakthrough with him regarding why he’d turned her, but she was nowhere near ready to entrust her heart to him. He wouldn’t mean to hurt her, but one day he would. Tiffany may be a newbie vampire, but she did know a few things about their species. Vampires sought life mates and one day Christian would find his. If she was a part of his life when that happened it would kill her. Truth was it probably would anyway. The thought of him with another woman caused an ache so severe in her heart she groaned aloud from the intensity.
God help her. Was she already a little in love with him?