Soraya

 

Playing with my hair, I sat cross-legged, hunched over on my bed and trying to shake off the dizzying pull of sleep. My skin felt feverish and my sides protested any kind of movement.

But that was nothing to the bundle of nerves palpitating in my chest.

Maybe he doesn’t want to see me, maybe…

The thought was swallowed as there was a tap on the door and Dez came in. He looked different, somehow. Older and gaunter, with hollows in his cheek and a stern and smoldering look in his shadowed eyes. I could feel him taking in every detail, making sure I was okay.

All of me seemed to curve towards him and I hadn’t even realized I’d outstretched a hand until he came over and sat down on the bed.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, not taking my hand.

How could I have not seen you were King? I wondered, silently and my hand fell. It was the same voice, deep and filled with a burning need to protect the world.

“Tired,” I admitted, my voice small.

Dez nodded jerkily and said nothing. Every line of his body was hard and unyielding. Keeping me at a distance and it hurt. But it was also my fault.

“Dez,” I started to say, clasping my hands together in my lap and looking at them.

“What were you thinking, Raya?” Dez suddenly asked in a harsh voice, the bed moving as he stood up and stared down at me. His arms were folded and a muscle was going in his jaw.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, staring at him.

“Taking on the Valspars! I knew you were pissed, I didn’t think you were out to kill me.” His face contorted. “When I saw you – if Kesari hadn’t called me…”

“Kesari called you?” I asked, bewildered. Then I remembered, I’d been on the phone with her and one of the brothers, I wasn’t sure which, had broken my phone.

“My phone,” I groaned. “Shit, that was new.”

“Soraya, do you realize you almost died?” Dez shouted at me.

I looked away. “I was ambushed.”

“Since when do you get ambushed?” he demanded.

“I was tired and out of it,” I murmured, feeling more and more ashamed. Hot tears were hovering in my eyelids and I hung my head. “I’m sorry.”

Dez sat on the bed, his hip pressing into my knee. “I almost lost you.” Suddenly he seemed to sag, his arms going around my waist and head on my lap. {After that stupid fight and all those idiotic lies I'd told you.” A shudder went through him. “I keep thinking of how close a call it was. What if I hadn't answered the phone when Kes called? Or if I hadn’t gotten there in time?”

“But you did,” I said. “Thank you. It's not often I need saving,” I tried to joke. “So, of course, you were there, Desmond.”

“I almost saw your throat get slit,” Dez said harshly, abruptly pulling away from me and staring at the floor. “And then I didn’t know if you’d make it through the night.”

“Dez,” I murmured, not sure what to say or do. He looked at me and I leaned in, biting my lip. I’d expected him to lean in, but he just looked at me, a ghost of a smirk on his face. Not giving me an inch. My cheeks went red and I tentatively took his shoulders.

I pressed my mouth to his, almost feeling clumsy at first, but then he gently held me. As he kissed me back, I slid my hands up and around his neck. These were sturdy, no-nonsense kisses.

Dominant and self-assured. Not holding back. Claiming.

I trembled all over as I gave in and gave myself to him.

When we broke apart, a slow blossom of peace unfurled in my chest. Smiling, I curled up against him and let Dez hold me.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome,” he murmured as he moved over so he could pull his feet up.

My fingers idled along his jaw as I looked up at him. “Dez, I know – I went to Beni–”

His laughter rumbled through me and he grinned. “I heard. Something about my crazy girlfriend breaking and entering, then threatening him.”

“I might have done that,” I whispered. “I had to know.”

“You could have asked me,” Dez said, but he didn’t sound angry, only matter of fact.

“Will you tell me what happened?” I asked, pressing a hand to the center of his chest. “Wait, did Alvie look at you? Does he know… Did he say anything?”

There was a knock on the door and I tried to pull away, but Dez tightened his arms. “Everyone already knows, silly,” he whispered, then louder, “Come on in.”

“Hey, I brought Sora some breakfast,” Dara said and Dez slowly let me go. I sat back and met her dancing eyes. “How ya feelin, Cloud?”

Dez squeezed my leg. “I’ll be right back.”

Once he was gone, Dara handed me a tray and took his spot, hugging her knees to her chest. “Oh my God, Soraya!” she said, bouncing on the bed. “When did this happen?”

“Agent Seng I’d appreciate your discretion,” I said, poking at my toast and trying to appear like the older and superior agent. “You can stop laughing at me now.”

“He’s such a good guy and so handsome,” Dara said with a sigh, laying back on the bed. “I did not peg you for the settling down type, but you’ve got it bad. Andrei said so.”

I wanted to snap the fork in my hand in half. “Oh, he did, did he?”

“Yeah. But are you really okay, Soraya? I was worried there for a minute,” Dara said and sat up. “Right now, no one knows what happened except for me, Drei, Obs, Finni, and Dez.”

“Not my family?” I asked, almost melting with relief.

“No,” she bit her lip. “Can’t exactly tell people the Valspar siblings are out. And we took care of Kesari and Roy, they know you’re okay and to keep it quiet.” There was a note of unease in her voice and I patted her shoulder. “I can’t believe it. And I can’t believe you took the three of them on – what were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t,” I said. “I was being an idiot. I know I’m lucky to be alive.”

“Good to hear you got some sense knocked into you,” Andrei drawled, coming into the room with Dez, Finni, and Obi. “You're welcome, by the way.”

“Go to hell, Zima,” I said with a smile.

“What do you see in her, man?” Andrei muttered to Dez.

Dez laughed and held me in his gaze. “Everything.”

I went red and Obi and Finni started to laugh.

“Lord, I’ve never seen Soraya blush,” Finni teased. “Cloud, you’re adorable.”

“Tell anyone and I’ll disembowel you,” I said with a scowl.

“Charming,” Andrei commented dryly. “Listen, princess, we gotta move you. You’re going with Dez back to his place. Dara will bring you clothes.” He folded his arms and glared at me. “You’re staying put, too. You gotta lay low.”

I nodded, expecting that. “Alright, fine.”

“Eat that and let’s get moving, people,” Andrei said, vanishing back out the door.

Suddenly I blinked and gazed around the room. “Wait, what are you three doing here?” I asked and they exchanged knowing looks. “What is going on?”

“Look at the time,” Obi said, sliding out after Andrei, followed by Dara and Finni.

Dez shrugged as I looked at him. “Sorry, I’m not in the Order,” he said, his eyes dancing with wicked amusement. “I don’t get to know these things.”

“You’re all going to pay for this,” I muttered as I went back to eating breakfast.

 

It was two days later and I was going through a series of yoga poses in Dez’s living room. I was now able to move without pain and it was a huge relief. I was almost back to my full strength. That first day had been brutal when every motion had hurt. However, it also had its perks, with Dez carrying me everywhere.

He entered the apartment at that moment and his face twisted. “Should you be doing that?”

“I’m almost back to normal,” I said, stretching a leg high and letting it go slowly. “Need help?” Dez was laden down with bags and he shook his head. “Dez, come on, I can help.”

“I don't, but thank you,” he said, going into the kitchen and plunking them down. I watched as he took off his boots, scarf, and jacket, then began to put things away. Catching my eye, he laughed. “Enjoying the view?”

Swinging into the kitchen, I smiled at him. “You know, this is where we had our first kiss.”

“Trust me, I'm not forgetting anytime soon,” Dez said, reaching around me to pick up a carton of juice. “It’s up there with my favorite memories in this apartment.”

“Get a telescope for Christmas?” I teased.

“How’d you know?” Dez asked, kissing my cheek and going into the living room.

I stifled a little sigh. The last two days, Dez had been courteous and chivalrous. The best kind of boyfriend, if he was my boyfriend. But he’d also been a little distant.

Yesterday, he'd finally told me everything about what happened to him. Frost's attack, the syringe, and the Capitis Leonis. Flying to Morocco and the binding ceremony. Parasite’s threats.

“Some part of me was afraid he was right,” Dez had told me in a soft voice. “And I was afraid of hurting you after you’d lost someone close to you.” He’d paused then. “Also, I wasn’t sure you’d want to be with someone like me. Almost a hybrid.”

“You’re not, Dez,” I’d said sternly. “You’re a shifter. And if you lose that gift, I won’t care. That has never mattered to me. Honestly, I liked that you were an inanis.”

We’d talked for a long time after that. I’d admitted everything about following him and taking the job to keep close to him. He’d laughed and said he knew I was up to something.

Finally, the air was clear between us.

Or so I’d thought.

The rest of the day passed quietly. As we cleaned up after dinner, Dez flicked water at me and I tried to grab his hands, but he stepped back.

“Soraya, sorry, I forgot,” he said, shaking his head.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re still recovering,” he said, putting his hands behind his head.

“Dez, I’m half-Lafi, half-Weslark. I heal in no time.” I slapped my sides. “My ribs are fine. I’m fine. I back to normal. I mean, I shouldn’t be brawling for another day or two…”

“Alvie said one of your ribs almost punctured a lung,” Dez said stubbornly.

“Almost,” I said, hands on my hips. “This is why you've been so hands-off! Are you worried you're going to hurt me? Dez!”

“It’s not a stupid thought, Raya,” Dez said, now cupping the back of his neck and I saw the muscles in his neck straining. “I’m bigger than you and I didn’t want to accidentally–”

I began to laugh and shook my head. “Okay,” I said. “I’m getting ready for bed.”

He watched me walk away and I smiled to myself.

After brushing my teeth, I slipped on a pair of pretty underwear and found one of Dez’s soft flannel button-up shirts. My hair fell around my face in soft, dark spirals. He was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth and I waited on the made-up couch.

Obstinate as can be, Dez had been sleeping there the last two nights.

Finally, I heard the water shut off and he came out, shirtless and in baggy pants. “You need something?” he asked, a little puzzled.

“I do,” I said solemnly. Dez cocked his head at me expectantly and I smiled.

“Soraya, you’re still…” he said weakly. “Come on, go to bed.”

“I’m not sleeping without you tonight,” I said, sticking out my lower lip.

A smile I’d never seen before was playing around Dez’s mouth and I suddenly felt very aware of the space between us. As well as the space he took up. His long, muscled legs and thick torso. Those strong arms I belonged in.

“You need me to sleep with you tonight?” Dez asked, walking over and leaning down.

“Something like that,” I said in a strained voice as his breath washed over my neck. He kissed the hollow at my throat and I gasped. “I need you to not sleep with me tonight.”

Dez didn’t respond, he only dedicated himself to kissing his way up my throat and I made a sound I’d never made before. Then he found my lips and I was gone.

In another moment, he’d slid a hand under my knees and back. Breaking apart, he carried me into his room and sat me on the edge of his bed. For a moment, I thought he was going to leave, as he walked back to the door and left. But then I saw the lights click off and he came back.

I couldn’t wait for him, I was on my feet and across the room.

In his arms, being lifted off the floor and kissed.