4
Adan
—
Mist rises from the ravine below, obscuring its terrifying darkness. The cold air is refreshing at this height, and the view of the surrounding mountains covered in white is beautiful and calming.
When we were younger, my twin brother, Dwen, and I would climb to this spot at the top of Vyaka and leap into the black depths below. We would compete against each other to see who lasted the longest in their primary form before losing courage and shifting into dragon form.
For a long time Dwen always won. He would brag that when the time came, toha would choose him to take over as Konai since clearly he was the stronger, braver son.
Losing to Dwen didn’t bother me. What angered me was that every time I jumped, I was afraid. I envisioned myself not being able to shift in time. That the darkness would swallow me entirely and I’d never rise free again.
Dwen told toha about our secret game to glean favour with him by boasting about his unchallenged victory. The following morning, our father brought us up here and tied heavy stones to my wrists and ankles but none to Dwen.
“Do you want me to die because I’m weak, toha?” I asked him.
His answer was a hard shove that pitched me into the void.
Dwen fell with me too, laughing on the way down while I screamed in terror. Then he wasn’t laughing anymore. He cried out in the darkness and shifted, flying away to safety while I continued to plummet.
My screams died and so did the terror. All I had left was anger. Outrage that my own father wanted to kill me because he thought I was weak. Believing this spurred my determination to live. I wanted to prove to my father he was wrong about me.
I shifted into my dragon form yet the stones remained secured to me and weighed me down. I fought it, my gaze turned toward that speck of light from the sky far above.
That light had signified freedom from death and fear. I reached for it with desperation until I was finally at the top of Vyaka with my father and a sullen-faced Dwen.
“The burden of those stones are the challenges of being a Konai,” my father said to me. “The burden cannot be cast away even when it threatens what is important to you. Never let the fear take you to the darkness. Use it to rise up and live just as you’ve done today.”
“But he won’t be the Konai, toha,” Dwen said. “I will.”
Our father responded: “If you are the one destined to take my place, niha, so it will be.”
From that moment onward, our father tested Dwen and I in various ways. Each test more dangerous than the one before, and all followed with a lesson on what it meant to be Konai.
Several years later after the final test that changed our lives forever, it isn’t Dwen standing at the top of this great mountain with the fate of Seca resting on his shoulders.
It’s me.
And the weight of this responsibility is as burdensome as those stones my father tied to me so long ago.
If I were to jump now, I would not be able to rise. There was a cost to being who I am today. In earning the power of Konai, I lost the power of my dragon.
The subtle sound of snow crunching underfoot comes to me and I turn. My younger brother, Zavi, sits atop my snow cat, Lim. It might be a common sight but it never fails to amuse me. It washes away my darker thoughts of the past.
A large, fearsome beast, Lim has no tolerance for anyone’s touch except mine and Zavi’s. She growls whenever someone stares at her for too long, yet she lets Zavi crawl all over her with unending patience.
Zavi is a drakila of twelve years. He is the smallest of his peers and self-conscious of it. Even so, he is intelligent, incredibly perceptive and kindhearted. He is a Sohin. I have no doubt that in time he will grow to be a strong, impressive draki.
He scrambles off of Lim and barrels toward me. I stop him before he dives over the mountain’s edge.
“Rah, are you hunting today?” he asks. His grey eyes shine with hope and excitement. The sight of him, alive and full of energy never fails to relieve me. Ever since discovering those dead drakila, I’ve instructed him to never wander off alone like he is used to.
“I might.” I ruffle the top of his head. His hair is the same colour as mine—white as the snow beneath our feet. He’s pulled it back into a warrior’s tie, but the ends form a short tuft that the tie can barely secure. “Aren’t you supposed to be with your tutor?”
A sour look comes over his small, round face and he pouts.
“It’s boring.” He folds his arm across his bony chest. “All he does is talk about things that happened long ago. I don’t care about any of that. It’s not important when I wasn’t alive then.”
“In order to avoid mistakes of the future you have to learn from the lessons of the past.” When he doesn’t look convinced, I point at the ravine. “Do you know the story of why Vyaka was split into two?”
He shrugs. “Everyone does. When Kahafura was made of flesh, she fell in love with a powerful draki named Vyaka. But he turned out to be evil and hungry for power over Rur. She cursed him to be a mountain for eternity and she split him into two so he wouldn’t have the power to return and destroy Rur.” He blinks. “There’s no lesson in that story. It’s just sad.”
“Why do you think so?”
“She had to kill someone she loved because he was bad.” He pets Lim’s head absentmindedly. Lim presses her face eagerly against his small hand. “Even if he was evil, she probably missed him after he was gone.”
“I’m sure she did,” I nod. “However Kahafura had to make a personal sacrifice for the good of others.” I stare into the ravine as I speak, teaching Zavi as much as I am reminding myself of my duties and why I cannot shirk them. “Everyone will have tests in their lives like Kahafura did. A hard choice that will hurt you if you make it, but hurt others even more if you don’t. Stories from the past like these can guide us in our present lives. That is why history is important.”
He remains silent and contemplative for a short moment before he speaks.
“If you turned bad, I don’t think I could kill you, rah. Or kaha.” His features become solemn. “Do you think that’s why toha and Dwen died? They turned bad so Kahafura took them away to protect us?”
“Not at all. Toha was sick and died because of it. Dwen…” I force a smile. “…Dwen died with honour. He died a warrior.” I pat his shoulder. “Come. I’ve filled in enough for your tutor. Let’s hunt some hares.”
Zavi’s sadness is gone immediately. He sounds a whoop of joy and climbs atop Lim again.
Zavi and I make our way down the mountain side to my den so we can retrieve my hunting sack, bow and knives. Heading down to Vyaka’s base, we meet kaha. Nearly forty detar has passed since my father died, yet she still wears a black dress as well as the black ties in her grey hair. The tradition of a mourning Konai sa who has lost her husband.
Hands planted on her hips, she glares at us both, her lips pursed in irritation. Zavi hunches his shoulders, trying to hide from her wrath.
Zavi and I already know the reprimands rising to her tongue because we’ve both heard them countless times before. That Zavi is supposed to be with his tutor. That I am supposed to take the oath to solidify my place as Konai of Seca.
“Adan—”
“We’ll return soon for a proper scolding, kaha,” I interject before she can stall us. Pressing a quick kiss to her lined cheek, I run ahead with Zavi and Lim.
Seca, the land of ice and snow. This is true for most of the year. However there are sections of Seca not covered entirely in white. Seca has short, warm periods when the sun’s heat decides to function. The snow melts, the earthy floor as well as patches of violet grass become visible, and the trees sprout leaves on their spindly branches.
Yet the warm season has been over for several days now. The winter is here to stay for some time. The bitter cold and frequent snowstorms are a deterrent to hunting as the hares and dunnya hide away, seeking shelter.
Still, with the help of Lim and her love of finding and killing small, defenseless creatures, Zavi and I manage to catch enough hares to fill the sack. This will add to the food stores for everyone residing in Vyaka. There’s no such thing as enough when it comes to food during a long winter.
The clear sky rapidly grows darker, signalling an impending storm. Zavi trembles from the cold even though he’s swaddled in furs.
“It’s time to go home, Zavi.”
As he climbs up onto Lim’s back, I help position the sack of dead hares so it won’t fall as he rides.
“You’re not coming too?”
“Going to the coast to catch some fish for kaha.” His eyes light up and I know exactly what he’s going to ask. “You can’t come with me, Zavi. I don’t want you out here in the storm.”
He nods silently, his features crestfallen. I rub his head affectionately.
“We’ll go together another day.”
He grins, always so cheerful and easily pleased.
“Are you getting the fish so kaha won’t stay mad at you?”
“Are you implying I’m afraid of kaha?”
“Everyone’s afraid of kaha. You’ll be stupid not to even if you are the Konai.”
I laugh because it’s true. Jetta Sohin’s formidable nature is well known in Seca. Only a strong female like my mother could have stayed with my father for so many years.
Zavi sounds a command to Lim and she trots away. While I watch them grow tinier in the distance, an indecipherable shape zooming through the darkening sky grabs my attention. It disappears behind a mountain and I immediately discard it as a draki enjoying a quick flight before the storm arrives.
Envy jabs at me. Ever since the day my twin brother died, my dragon has refused my calls. I am a Shifted rur draki yet I no longer have the ability to taste the skies.
I miss the feel of the wind against my wings, of clearing long distances in a short space of time, of that rush of euphoria when my body becomes a large, powerful beast capable of breathing fire.
The storm hits just as I am near the coast. It’s suddenly as dark as if the day decided to abandon evening and jumped straight to night. The drizzle of falling snow strengthens and so does the wind.
Catching fish in this weather is out of the question. They would abandon the surface churn for deeper, calmer waters. I have to find shelter and wait out this storm.
Vyaka is too far away, but there are dens in all the mountains in Seca. So I make my way to the nearest one in sight until a cry nearby brings me to an abrupt halt.
And in the darkness surrounding me, over the wind’s wail sounds a voice I have not heard in several years.
My dragon.
He claws within me, fighting to be free.
Amazed, my shift is almost involuntary.
My body grows, my skin becomes scales, my wings spread wide and high behind me.
I roar as I pick up her scent.
The one who is destined to be mine.