Fists clenched at his side, Harlan had to stop himself from destroying another piece of furniture as he stomped through the house, looking to get away from Julius.

“Harlan, wait,” the man said, and Harlan promptly ignored him, running to a bedroom and slamming the door shut after him.

“You think a door will stop me?” Julius asked from the other side of it only a second later.

“I thought maybe your manners might,” Harlan sighed. “A closed door generally means, ‘piss off, I don’t want to talk to you’.”

He should have known that wouldn’t stop Julius, as he stepped inside anyway, fixing him with that cold, unreadable gaze all too familiar to Harlan.

“I thought you might want to discuss how you just sent your betrothed packing. Now I might be able to pull some strings and get you out of paying for the fact you claimed a human you had no intention of turning.

“What I don’t understand, though, is why you pushed her away in the first place, when you clearly have feelings for her,” Julius said, crossing his arms as he leaned on the doorframe.

“That’s ridiculous. I know better than to get attached to a human,” Harlan scoffed.

“Yes, because you’ve always been so good at separating your heart and head,” Julius remarked, raising a brow at him.

“You know me so well,” Harlan replied, an edge of bitterness in his voice. “And what would you know about it? I’ve never known you to get attached to anyone.”

“I got attached to you, didn’t I, old friend? Enough to give you my gift,” Julius said quietly.

“I didn’t ask for it,” Harlan said, his voice rising. “You made the decision for me.”

“So you’d rather be dead for real, right now?” Julius asked.

This was not a discussion Harlan felt like having, not after he had just hurt Ruby the way he did. Watching her walk away from him, clearly upset and feeling betrayed, was one of the hardest things he’d had to do, which was saying something.

He wanted to mourn the fact he would never see his Ruby again, not dredge up the past with Julius.

“That’s not the point,” Harlan argued, letting out a frustrated sigh.

“What is the point? You’ve always held on so tightly to your humanity, to your beliefs of right and wrong. You’ve preferred their company for decades now, as you party your way through the country. But you’re not fooling me. I know you’re just running away from ever caring about anyone in fear of getting hurt,” Julius said, walking over to stand in front of him.

“Great, now my disappointed dad is psychoanalyzing me,” Harlan scoffed.

“I’m not disappointed in you, Harlan,” Julius replied, surprising him by placing a hand on his shoulder. “When you killed Samuel… I have to admit, I was wounded that you didn’t come talk to me first. You thought because I had history with him, I wouldn’t do the right thing. How was I supposed to know he’d become a killer?”

“You didn’t try very hard to find out what he had or hadn’t become,” Harlan remarked.

“Samuel saved my life once, Harlan,” Julius said. “That’s why I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. Because I owed him a great debt, and because the Samuel I once knew was a decent man. But I would have done what I had been sent there to do if you had told me what you had found out about him.”

Harlan was having a hard time accepting what his Maker was saying. Had he misjudged Julius all those years ago? Had he just been looking for an excuse to strike out on his own, while still holding on to the fact he didn’t get a choice when it came to being turned?

I didn’t know Samuel saved his life…

Julius didn’t bother waiting for his response as he carried on.

“I was never disappointed in the choice you made that day, because you stayed true to what you believed was right. And I never faulted you for going down your own path. But what I find frustrating was how you lost your sense of purpose.

“Floundering about, wasting your time on drink and pretty donors, that’s not you, my friend,” Julius said, searching his eyes. “And it seems it has taken meeting a certain Ruby Danvers for you to see that.”

Harlan didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to admit Julius was right, but he couldn’t deny it, either. His life had been empty for a long time before Ruby came along. Closing himself off from everything that could end up disappointing him had seemed like a valid choice, but now, he was beginning to see how that had eroded his soul.

I used to take chances… I used to fight for my beliefs. And I didn’t used to be afraid to open my heart.

“She’s special,” Harlan said quietly.

“Then why did you lie to her? You know we don’t have to bring Grant in alive. It would be great if we could question him about what he has been up to and who he has told about our existence, sure. But if he doesn’t want to come peacefully, we have every right to put him down,” Julius replied.

“You’re right. I do care for Ruby. That’s why I lied. I can’t put her in danger and she’s far too stubborn to ever stay on the sidelines. It was easier to push her away, since we don’t have a future together anyway,” Harlan admitted.

“You do know that’s ridiculous, old friend? There are no guarantees in life, even when it comes to undead life. Even if Ruby were a vampire, she could still be killed, she could still die. Fearing the worst is not a good enough reason to deny yourself happiness,” Julius said, removing his hand from Harlan’s shoulder and crossing his arms in front of him.

“I don’t remember you being this insightful,” Harlan commented.

“You never listened to me much now, did you?” Julius shrugged, earning a chuckle from Harlan.

“I’ve been a real idiot, haven’t I?” Harlan sighed, tilting his head to the side.

Someone like Ruby came along once in a lifetime, and he had screwed what they could have had up by being afraid. The more he thought about it all, the more ridiculous his decision seemed. If he was going to close himself off from anything that might bring him happiness, then what was the point of existing, anyway?

Might as well put a stake through my own heart, then.

“Finally, I’m getting through to you,” Julius replied, and Harlan could swear there was a hint of a smile on the man’s lips. “Now let’s find Theo Greene, let him lead us to Grant, and bring an end to this all so you can go and apologize to your betrothed for being a complete jackass.”

Harlan nodded at that, feeling more driven than he had in years.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”