Staring at the flames dancing in the fireplace, Izzy tried to ignore the sounds of dishes clattering and aluminum foil tearing. She breathed through her mouth, yet that seemed to make the cravings stronger, like she could taste the beef and lasagna through the air.
She glanced at the vegetables wilting on the plate in front of her. They held as much appeal as dirty shoe leather.
The refrigerator door closed with a sucking sound. “I’ll get the rest later, babe,” Freddie said to Rissa.
There was a beat of silence. “Okay...if you’re sure.”
“Yup.”
More silence.
“All right. Sarah and I are going for a walk. We won’t be far if you need us.”
Meaning: if your sister goes postal, we’re just a shout away.
The back door opened and closed, and cold air rushed into the room. The fire sputtered and one of the logs cracked, shooting up brilliant embers.
Freddie’s gaze bore into the top of Izzy’s skull. She sighed. Surrendered. “Okay. Let me have it.”
He stepped around in front of her, his mouth set in a thin, hard line. Finally, he blew out a breath and flung himself down on the couch next to her. She bounced as his weight hit the cushions. “I get why you and Bess didn’t tell me what you are,” he said.
“But...”
“But I can’t make our life in Chicago jibe with what I know about a shifter’s lifestyle.”
“We never lived their lifestyle. Ever.” At least Izzy never had. And when Bess tried...
She shuddered and hopped up to pace. No way could she sit still, sit next to her brother, while they had this nightmare conversation.
“Come on,” he said. “Where’d you shift? Hank and Abby knew where we were 24/7.”
“I already told you. We didn’t.”
Freddie’s mouth dropped open. “Are you shitting me? That’s not possible.”
“No. And it is.”
Abject pity grew in his eyes. “Iz, what did your grandmother do to you?”
Bile rose in her throat and she wrapped her arms over her stomach. Despite the blazing fire, she was suddenly freezing. She heard Freddie rise from the couch and approach her, but she didn’t face him. She couldn’t stand to see him look at her like the pathetic thing she was.
When he touched her shoulder, Izzy nearly leapt across the room.
“Whoa! Okay, it’s okay,” he said. “No touching, I swear.”
The misery in his voice rooted her feet when she would have run out the door. God, he thought the problem was him. Didn’t he see? Didn’t he know?
Freddie Dodd was protective, kind, and fiercely loyal. He’d had her back since the day they met. He shouldn’t touch her. She was a...thing.
She was disgusting. Filthy. Even more so, thanks to her grandmother.
And by not telling him the truth, not warning him about lycanthropes and magic, she’d let him walk right into this horrible mess.
“I’m so sorry,” she said, choking out the words.
“For what?” Warm brown eyes searched her face.
She shook her head over and over. Christ, her stomach hurt.
“Was your grandmother a werewolf, too?”
Her legs dropped out from under her and her butt hit the coffee table. “No.”
Freddie knelt in front of her, but as promised, he didn’t touch. In a quiet voice, he said, “I’ve seen the scars, Iz.”
The room swirled in a psychedelic kaleidoscope, and she gulped for air. Every mark etched into her skin throbbed. The memory of the reek from her own burning flesh filled her nose.
Her brother moaned. “Please. Please, let me hug you.”
No! She scrambled over the table, keeping it between herself and Freddie.
“God damn that fucking bitch to hell!” Freddie’s voice snapped like a whip.
“No, damn it! Don’t you see? She was trying to protect—”
“If you say that shriveled old shrew was trying to protect you and Bess, so help me God—”
“She was protecting everyone else,” she said. “From us.”
“What the fu—”
“And Grandmother was right!” Izzy slammed her hand against the coffee table, splitting it down the middle. Horrified, she hid her hands behind her back.
Freddie leapt to his feet. “Izzy—”
“Look! Look what I did,” she said, backing away from him. “What we could have done to you at any time.”
Freddie shook his head. “No. You never would’ve hurt me.”
“Bullshit!” she shouted. “Don’t you get it? One mistake, one slip of our strength, and you or someone else would have gone to the ER—or worse. We put you all at risk. For all those years.” When he opened his mouth to argue, she shook her head emphatically. “No, Fred. You don’t understand. Bess killed someone the night she died. She changed and murdered someone. That’s why she did it!”
All the anger and fight drained from her body as her brother gaped in horror.
Izzy slumped onto the couch. “That’s why she killed herself.”
“How the hell do you know that? You were in Iraq. Mom couldn’t even get ahold of you until the day after we found Bess.”
“She told me,” she said.
“Excuse me?”
Christ, she was tired. Izzy scrubbed her hands over her face. “We video-chatted whenever we could. Remember?” Bess said it made her feel as if Izzy wasn’t so far away. Not that she ever forgave Izzy for joining the Army and leaving her behind. “That night, she called me.” It had been a hot, sunny Sunday morning for Izzy.
“Oh God. Who?”
She shrugged. “Don’t know.” Bess hadn’t even said the poor guy’s name.
Freddie stared at her. “Iz,” he said, his voice quiet and careful. “Have you considered maybe it was a lie? Or a delusion of some sort? You know how she was. I mean, I know we all thought she’d been doing better, but obviously we were wrong. If she was so far gone that she’d do that to herself, who knows what was going on in her head?”
A bitter smile twisted Izzy’s lips. “Oh, how I wish you were right about that.”
“Iz—”
“She showed me, Freddie. Okay? She panned the fucking camera and showed me what she’d done.”
Images from her sister’s last video chat played in her head like a horror film reel. Short blond hair. Jeans and dark T-shirt turned black with blood. Jesus, there’d been a lot of blood.
“Wh-what?” Freddie wobbled and sank down onto the floor. “What?” After a minute, “Where?”
“Her apartment.”
Freddie was shaking his head.
Izzy felt blunt and numb, like waking from anesthesia. Surprising how she could still form words through wooden lips. But she’d started this train wreck and now she had to ride it to the end. “She said she’d make sure no one would find him. How, I don’t know. Because the next minute, Bess picked up a revolver and put it to her temple.”
“Oh, Christ!” Freddie scrambled up and ran to the kitchen sink.
Even over the sounds of his retching, Izzy could still hear the echo of that gunshot, and the horrible thud of her sister’s lifeless body hitting the floor.