Chapter Three
I didn’t want to think about what it was like flying with Fin. I was thinking about his bod way too much. I was supposed to be thinking about my future husband.
Who was most definitely not Finvarra Connaught.
I couldn’t imagine being married to him. I don’t know what little devil weevil had ever possessed me to say such a thing.
Except, I could imagine the consummation part. Oh yeah, I could imagine that over and over again. On my kitchen counter. On the back of my new couch. In my amazing, expandable Roman style bath…
And flying.
I could definitely imagine wrapping my legs around his hips while he fucked me through the stratosphere.
I was so thankful he couldn’t read my mind.
His hands were on my ass again, and I was grateful. He’d been right about the wind blowing up my skirt. I was glad that our objects of observation couldn’t see us.
Paul Pierre had a little peach orchard outside of Assjacket. It wasn’t too far from my candy house. I liked the look of it so far. The trees were obviously well-loved and well-tended. They hung heavy with fat, juicy, and mostly unmolested fruit.
A man was working outside mending a fence and he was a fine, fine, specimen of male. He wasn’t overly tall, not like Finvarra, but most men weren’t built like the Sidhe. He was stocky, with purposeful muscle. His skin tanned from working in the sun, as he was now with his shirt off. He had ink black hair, and true to skunk form, had to streaks of white at his temples. I thought it made him look very distinguished.
We’d established that the consummation part wouldn’t be a problem. He was hot, but I needed to get closer. I wanted to see what he was like interacting with other creatures around him.
“You like?” Fin asked.
I almost didn’t want to say yes, for some damn reason. “I do. He’s pretty.”
“Want to get closer?” He didn’t wait for my answer, but moved us in close. A giant dog that looked like a pitbull/mastiff mix eyed us hard.
“I thought you said they couldn’t see us?”
“The dog probably knows we’re here.”
The big brown beast eyed us then ran dead for us. He pounced on Fin, knocking him to the ground where he attacked. With his tongue. He licked Fin like a canine lollypop and slobbered all over his face.
Fin, for his part, laughed and scratched the beast’s ears. Said something to him in Gaelic, that I found warmed more than just my witchy bits.
“What are you doing, Brutus? Licking fairies again?” Paul shook his head. “Silly dog.” He reached down and scratched the dog’s massive head.
Brutus looked at me, and there was a particular sparkle in his eye. He pounced on me next. As soon as he did, I was suddenly very visible.
“Holy shit, girl. Are you a fairy?” Paul asked.
Well, this was awkward. “Um, no? I’m a Poppy.”
“Zelda’s friend over at the candy cottage?”
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“How’d you get here?” He narrowed his blue eyes at me.
I decided to be honest. “Fairy godfather mishap?”
“I knew there were fairies here. Brutus loves ‘em.” He scratched the dog’s head again and the cuddly beast licked my face again. “You sure you’re not a fairy? Brutus seems to love you.”
I scratched his head and smooched him back. “No, not a fairy. Just a witch princess under a curse. You know how it goes.”
“Curses are the worst. Are you okay, by the way? You just seemed so okay with Brutus, I didn’t ask if you needed help.”
Chivalry wasn’t dead. “I’m fine.” Brutus backed away, giving me room to stand up. But then promptly shoved his butt against my leg, I assumed for rump scratches, and I indulged him.
“I’m Paul, by the way.” He held out his hand for me to shake it.
He had a firm grip that was just right. It showed he respected me as an equal. Some guys didn’t like women who had a firm handshake and tried to do the knuckle-breaker grip. Paul wasn’t like that. It was just a handshake. I appreciated that.
“Poppy.”
“Witch princess,” he added with a grin.
“Cursed witch princess.”
“So what’s your curse? Is it the usual? Have to find a prince, or at least a decent dude to marry?”
“Basically.” No reason to go into the whole Frogcruncher thing.
“I don’t know if Zelda told you, but your closet should smell vaguely of peaches. You can use your magic to erase it if you want, but we used fallen branches from the orchard.”
I hadn’t noticed it. Now, I was going to have to go home and sniff my closet.
Finvarra, who’d been silent and was still invisible, piped up with, “Aha! That’s why you smell so good. It’s the peaches. I’m so relieved.”
“Shut up,” I growled.
Paul raised an eyebrow.
“Not you. The fairy godfather.”
“Is he still here? He’s welcome to come in for some iced tea, as are you.”
“We should probably be going, but I’d love a raincheck. That is, if you want to hand out with the cursed.”
He shrugged. “Some would say I’m cursed. I’m a skunk Shifter. So if you still want a raincheck, I’d be game.” He grinned.
“What about tomorrow night? We could go for dinner.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven at your place.”
“Sounds great.”
“No, no.” Fin said. “Not dinner. There’s a fairy ball tomorrow. I have tickets. It’ll be magical.”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“It’s the best idea.” Fin rolled his eyes.
“You know, it’s a good thing you’re magical or I’d wonder why you were talking to yourself,” Paul laughed.
“Oh, no. Just… my fairy godfather said there’s a fairy ball tomorrow night, and he thinks we should go. I think that’s probably too much pressure. I mean, he’d go all out with the glass slippers and everything.”
Paul grinned. “I think that sounds fun.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Fairy ball. A princess. Glass slippers. What’s not to love?” Paul shrugged.
“Okay, then.” I bit my lip, wondering just what the hell I’d gotten myself into.
“But dinner first. Fairy balls on an empty stomach just don’t work. Sound like a plan?”
“Definitely.”
Fin snatched me back against him and suddenly we were in the air again. “You had to make a good exit before one of you screwed it up.”
Brutus was barking and running after as until I couldn’t see him anymore.
“That went surprisingly well.”
“It did.” I turned my face into Fin’s chest. Not because I wanted to be there, or anything. The wind had picked up and it was sharp and cold on my cheeks.
“Do you still want to check out the other guys on the list?”
“Yeah, why not? We should do all of our recon at once.” Paul was handsome. He was nice. He seemed to smell like peaches. He loved animals. But there was no anticipation in the pit of my stomach like there was with Finvarra.
Oh gods, what the hell? How had I even been allowed to have that thought enter my head? I knew. I knew. I nodded to myself. It was because it was forbidden. Being a rebel, it was in my blood. I couldn’t help but want what I wasn’t supposed to have.
What if I could have it?
Finvarra, I meant. What if I made it okay, in my own head to want him? Would I still? Was it just the challenge?
I hoped so, because eternity with him would suck.
Not really, it would probably be a lot of fun.
Yeah, maybe. But fun didn’t equal love. Fun didn’t equal the rest of the things I wanted in a man. Like someone who would take care of me when I was sick. Someone who wanted the very best for me. Someone who would put me before themselves.
Someone who loved me.
Sex wasn’t love.
Fun wasn’t love.
Those things should be part of being in love, but there had to be trust. Respect. Loyalty.
I looked up at Fin.
“I see you eyeballing me. What?”
“I’m just looking at you.”
“Why? Because of the fairy ball?”
I thought about being honest with him. I usually thought it was the best policy, but maybe not in this instance. I didn’t want him to drop me. “I don’t know. Just thinking. The new parameters of our relationship.”
“Oh, you mean the part where you stopped being stubborn and let me do my job?”
“No. The part where you stopped being shitty about doing your job.”
“Okay, I guess that part is fair, too.”
“Did you just agree with me on something? Hold me tight, I’m going to faint.”
His arms did tighten around me, holding me closer. “As if. You’re not the fainting type.”
It was nice being in his arms. To my surprise, I did feel safe. I was supposed to feel safe with my fairy godfather, right? This was how it was supposed to be. Except for the lust part.
“Next on the list is Peter Lepuson.”
“Let me guess. Rabbit Shifter.”
“You got it. He lives a little farther out. Has a nice earth contact home. He has kids, though. A lot of them. Twenty, I think.”
“Hard pass. Moving on.”
“Methinks no rabbit Shifters for you?” He laughed.
“None with kids.”
“So hard pass on Westheiffer, too?”
“We’ll put him on the maybe list. Two kids, maybe. But twenty? I’m out, buddy.”
“I guess that lets me out, too.”
“What? You have children?”
“I’m a thousand years old. I have five. They’re all grown of course.”
“I guess only five in a thousand years isn’t bad. You must miss them a lot.”
“I do. They’ve all gone into the fairy godmother business. They seem to love it. So I do get to see them more than the rest of my family.”
“I can’t imagine choosing to be a fairy godmother. They must be very sweet.”
“Eh, let’s not go that far. Fairy godparenting is hard work. Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind. For some reason, I like mean females. Their mothers were all either wicked witches or not so nice mortals.”
I laughed. “Who gave you the hardest run for your money?”
“Oh, that’s easy. It was Summer. Her mother was Boadicea. I swear, I thought she was going to be a sprite of war, and go into service with a war goddess. But nope, she absolutely loves fairy godmothering.”
He sounded proud. An interesting side I’d never seen before. Finvarra, as a father. We’d been stuck with each other for a hundred years and I’d never known that about him.
“You know, my reluctance to find a man, it didn’t really have anything to do with you. At first.”
“I know. Which is why I tried to give you some room. It’s not fair that you have to get married just to break a curse. You’re my charge. Of course I want things to be fair for you. That’s sort of what I had to learn. And I did.”
I was lucky he was holding on to me, because his words shocked me so much I let go of him.
“Hey now, hold on. I don’t want you to die. Then where will I be?” His words didn’t have the bite they used to.
I wrapped my arms around him again and tucked myself close.
“Yeah, I know. I shocked you. Breathe through it.”
I laughed. “Yeah, that came as a surprise.”
“Well, you know, in honor of our newfound professional relationship, we should be honest with each other, right?”
I nodded, but we needed to get back to safer territory. “So who else is on the list?”
“Let me see. There’s one warlock on the list. They’re not very good mates, but since this is just a marriage of convenience, he might be a good option. Grendal Malum.”
“Grendal? Is he a dragon?”
“No, I already told you he’s a warlock.”
“I can’t even with this right now.”
“You can and you must.”
I sighed. “Fine. Where’s Growly Talcum?”
“Grendal Malum. We might not actually be able to spy on him unseen. He has a lot of wards. I think the best approach with him would be to just knock on the door.”
“You better come with me.”
“I will, but he’s a dude. I’m sure he’d react better to just meeting you. I’ll make myself into a necklace or something.”
“Paul was fine with you there.”
“He’s a Shifter. They’re a whole different animal than warlocks.”
We landed in front of a cottage that looked much like mine. Although, instead of the sweet candies, his were all sour. Gummy worms slithered in a Kool-Aid moat. He had black licorice columns, and Sour Patch Kids hung like scarecrows all along his walk. They moaned when you approached.
Yeah, I was pretty sure I wanted to turn around and back away not slowly, but as fast as my feet would carry me.
Except Finvarra had already turned himself into a necklace that just happened to settle right into the vee of my cleavage and the front door had already opened.
The man who stood in the doorway looked nothing like what I expected from an evil warlock. He looked… a lot like Finvarra, actually. The same height, the same coloring. Although, his features were a bit more pinched, but not unattractive. He had this whole Lucius Malfoy vibe going on.
I was still super creeped out by the Sour Patch Kids, though.
“Can I help you?”
“Maybe,” I said, unsure of how to approach. “I’m Poppy Frogcruncher and…”
“Do tell me you’re not trying to sell me anything. Because you’re so pretty, I’ll give you a warning I’ve never given to anyone else. See them?” He pointed at the moaning Sour Patch Kids.
“I couldn’t miss them.”
“Precisely. That’s what happens to door to door salesmen and telemarketers.”
Suddenly, they weren’t so creepy. I understood it. I was almost a fan. “I’m not selling anything, exactly. I’m a witch princess under a curse.”
He arched a perfectly sculpted brow. “Looking for true love? Here?”
“Oh,” I waved my hand. “It doesn’t have to be true love. I just have to get married. I was really hoping for a marriage of convenience. Warlocks seem like the type that are open to that sort of arrangement.”
“Frogcruncher, you say?” His ice-cold eyes settled on me. “I do believe I knew your mother. She asked me for a potion to break her curse. I’m afraid it didn’t end well.”
“It never does.” I sighed. “She ended up marrying, but I was still born a Frogcruncher. I hate frogs. Little misogynistic fuckers.”
He nodded, seemingly sympathetically. “Do you want me to wipe them out? I could do that. I mean, for a price.”
The idea had merit. “What’s your price? Are you under a curse, too?”
“I am. I can’t feel love. I think it sounds perfectly horrible to experience, but I’m sure you’ll understand, being a Frogcruncher, that being told you can’t do a thing is the worst. Even if it’s not a thing you really want.”
“Exactly. You get me. So how do we break your curse?”
“I just have to get married. Same old, same old.”
“Well, hot damn. Finally a man under the same kind of curse that we women always have to deal with. I mean, not that I’m glad you’re under a curse you see, but…”
“Yes, I understand. It was a woman who put me under the curse. I broke her heart. Didn’t mean to. I thought we were just having a good time. She was in love… really, it was why I knew better than to trifle with a witch, but what can I say? She was hot.”
The little Sour Patch Kids were still squirming. One of them was trying to talk.
“Would you like to come in?”
This made the Sour Patch Kids become even more animated, until he zapped them with a blast of magic and they were still like stone.
“They irritate me.”
“I can see why.” I nodded. I debated accepting his invitation to go inside. Part of me said hell no, and to run for the hills, but there was another part of me that said he might be a good choice. He was obviously evil, but he’d have his own pursuits. We could get married and break my curse and he’d go away. Probably.
Maybe.
With Paul, feelings might happen. He’d want feelings to happen, as was normal. But was I ready for that? Paul, I could tell just from who his dog was, he was a good person.
Why did this have to be so complicated?
“Come into my parlor, said the spider to the spider?”
“Shouldn’t be the spider to the fly?”
He laughed. “You’re no fly, my dear. You’re all spider.”
“Well, I was hoping for maybe a date. I won’t lie, your little moat there with the squirming worms is freaking me out just a little.”
He laughed. “All right then. Name the day you’d like to discuss our alliance.”
“Thursday for lunch. I’ll meet you by the headless statue in town?”
“It is, indeed, a date.”
One of the gummy worms had gotten free of the moat and managed to twine itself around my ankle. As I made my way back down the walk, I considered biting its head off. Which I wasn’t sure if that was actually my thought, or if I’d been infected by all the negativity that surrounded Grendal.
I did like to bite the heads off my gummy bears, but…
As soon as we were far enough away, Finvarra became himself again. “Now that we’ve met Grendal, I’m going to have to put my foot down.”
“Okay.”
“What? Really? You aren’t going to argue?”
“No, he’s creepy as shit.”
“It’s nice to know you can be reasonable.”
“I think I want to go home.”
His arms wrapped around me again, but they did little to chase away the chill that had settled in my chest.