Chapter Six
Crow’s green eyes scanned the shop’s interior, but before he could catch her staring at him, Angel forced herself to look away. I’m not staring at him. I’m not staring!
Wait. Why did I just look away like a child? We worked together, for crying out loud! We can talk like normal adults! What is wrong with me?
She gritted her teeth. Nothing is wrong with me! He’s just too much! And I wasn’t expecting to see him tonight! She wasn’t exactly dressed for a night out; no dress, no heels, no makeup. Not that she ever wore those things. But she was just with friends! And she wasn’t ready to be a warden tonight either; no spells, no wards, no weapons. She was utterly unprepared to see him in any capacity.
How many cafés were there in San Francisco? And this one wasn’t even in Monsters jurisdiction. Though wardens weren’t required to stay within their working area when not actually on jobs, they tended to remain within that proximity anyway, just like regular cops did. It was faster and easier.
He was really coming out of his way to be here. Why was that? She realized that was the main reason for her sudden reticence. She couldn’t figure out why he was there, unless… was it for her?
“And I’m the stupid one for marrying him,” Cass was saying. “Even dumber for further falling into convention’s expectations of me and becoming a mom.”
Angel barely heard her. She and Elena had continued talking, but Angel’s attention was once more completely hampered. There was a humming in her ears, and she could no longer feel her fingers and toes. Gods, what is wrong with me? she wondered. He’s just a man, for fuck’s sake!
But he happened to be the man she’d been thinking of non-stop for the last sixteen days.
I’m an idiot. Get up and say “hi” and introduce him to your friends. What are you, twelve?
She wondered if he’d seen her yet. And would he care if he did?
That otherworldly heat was back then, stealing over her like a pleasure cocktail, and forcing her heart into hyperdrive. Oh, he’d seen her alright, she was positive of it. Because she could literally feel the weight of his gaze on her as surely as if he’d wrapped his arms around her and was holding her up against his very sculpted chest.
Every time he looked at her, that was what it felt like. Angel had spent two frustrating weeks feeling the hot, heavy presence of that gaze and wishing she could feel more.
She’d gone without him for a mere two days and Crow was all she could think about.
Is he going to come over here? her brain wanted to know.
Yeah, you’re definitely twelve.
“I wound up giving him all of my best years,” Cass was saying, “hell giving him my entire damn life. I never even kissed another man.”
To Angel’s right, Elena shook her head and said, “That happens to a lot of women, actually, though probably their marriages don’t last as long as yours has.”
“You’re right, they don’t,” said Cass. “I looked it up, you know that? I seriously did.”
Angel forced herself to do something – anything. She focused on her friend’s words like they were a life line in white water rapids and she was seconds away from drowning. “So staying with him for as long as you have,” she said softly, taking her willpower in both hands and squeezing the life out of it, “makes you kind of an enigma.”
After a few seconds, Elena said, “Nah.” She sat back, sighing. “There’s no enigma here. There’s no mystery about it. Cass is co-dependent.” She looked over at Cass. “Sorry babe, but you are.” Then she looked back at Angel. “She was afraid of being alone when she was young because she hadn’t been adequately exposed to the world and what it required for survival. Now that she’s older with a child and debt and a house and all of the bullshit that comes with it, she’s still scared, but for different reasons.”
“Not that scared,” mumbled Cass.
Elena snickered. “Sounds to me like you’re having an awakening. Good for you.” Elena was probably thinking maybe she could get Cass to agree to make out with some guy after all.
“I wish,” Cass rolled her eyes. “I wish I could just summon the courage to leave him.” She shook her head, staring into her coffee. “Or separate for a while. I feel so trapped. You know… he finally clued in after I pointed it out in plain English about a dozen times that I’m not satisfied with our relationship. And last week, as an early birthday present, he took me out for drinks for the first time in literally a decade.”
Cassiana’s birthday was the reason they were there at the coffee shop at nine p.m. on a Tuesday. The girls had wanted to buy her drinks and give her a few presents, but since it was a weekday and Cass had to work and homeschool her kid the next day, they’d settled on coffee.
Cass went on. “It was an okay night I guess. I had my first taste of a mojito and my first martini. How sad is that?” She shook her head winsomely, her eyes misty. “But anyway, what does he do when we get home? He assumes everything is all better now because he finally did something half-way romantic, and he tries to French kiss me as I’m on my way out the door to the gym. His mouth is all wet and warm and all I could think about was how much it felt like licking a slug and I was totally not in the mood. Fuck, I hate sloppy kisses. And I had a piece of food in my mouth, for crying out loud! Part of a protein bar!”
Cass looked ready to cry now, her hazel eyes shiny with emotion, and that grabbed Angel’s attention pretty damn hard. In the background, she could certainly feel Jake was still there. Just a few feet away. She could even feel he was still watching her. But the pain in her friend’s eyes was so palpable, Angel could not ignore it. Not even for a man like Crow.
“He tried a bunch of times after that too… for a few days. He did little things like bringing me coffee or leaving me notes before he went to work, but for some reason they just didn’t rekindle any kind of passion in me. I still feel nothing. I’m numb. Like I have nerve damage inside or something. In my soul. And when he finally caught on to that, he just went around with this sad, put-upon look on his face.” Cass shuddered.
Angel watched her friend with real and mounting concern. She caught Elena’s gaze, and the two exchanged worried looks. If this were a midlife crisis, it would be right on time. Text book. But nothing about Cass was text book. This was more than that. It was worse because Cass really was trapped. It sent shivers down Angel’s own spine to think of a woman as stunning as Cassiana being hopelessly caught in the gulch of passionless matrimony.
“Meanwhile, I’m still doing all the shit life expects me to do, going through its motions like I’m treading sludge. Working eighteen to twenty-hour days, trying to meet deadlines that carve chunks out of me. While at the same time, I’m trying to maintain some semblance of control over my body given what time and nature want to do to it. And I’m feeling like… what life I have left is slipping through my fingers,” said Cass numbly. “Guys, I’m telling you from the bottom of my heart that if I could go back in time, I would do things differently.”
Crap, thought Angel. This is unbearable. I need to get my friend drunk. Coffee just isn’t going to do. And Elena’s right. I need to get Cass laid by someone she isn’t married to, someone seriously hot. Or better yet, I need to get her laid by two someones who are seriously hot….
This was an emergency. Work and chores and errands and all of the crap life piled on a person so they wouldn’t notice time’s passing, they could all wait. If Angel didn’t get Cass some kind of deep healing remedy soon, there wouldn’t be any time left to pass. She was honestly afraid of that. She was honestly afraid that Cass would do something rash – and something final.
Angel was about to suggest that they go somewhere else with stronger drinks, screw tomorrow, when a shadow fell over the table. With that darkness came the presence she’d thought she’d been successfully ignoring, when in reality it had only been her tremendous will to be there for her friend that had allowed her to put it on a backburner.
Now it was front and center, burning like the sun, and she was literally having to remind herself to breathe. Breathe….
“Angel.” His voice was deep and smooth as ever, and his tone managed to convey all kinds of forbidden things with one seemingly innocent word. She looked up to see him slowly sipping his coffee, his green eyes glinting at her in amusement over the top of his paper cup. “How are you?” he asked as he lowered the cup.
Angel’s lips parted, but no sound came out. He was just too beautiful, as usual. He was dressed in worn jeans that hugged tall, impossibly sculpted legs, a gray thermal shirt that did the same for his chest, and a black leather jacket – the black leather jacket – that displayed his Monsters MC patch on the back. He smelled like leather and soap and a little bit of engine oil. His shirt and jacket were both shoved up at the sleeves to reveal thick forearms with defined veins. She’d always found that part of a man incredibly sexy. A few leather bracelets adorned his wrists, keeping her eyes there.
Her mouth went dry. When she looked back up, it seemed his intense eyes laughed at her.
She mentally kicked herself. Moron! Just say something! “Hi Jake!” she squeaked, obeying her own order at once. Then she blushed furiously, cleared her throat, and tore her eyes from his so she could think without feeling like he was burning her up from the inside out. “I’m good! It’s good to see you!” she continued as she pushed herself to her feet out of politeness. She almost wobbled a little at first, her legs had gone so weak. But she recovered quickly and focused like mad.
“Ladies, this is Jacob Crow, a guy I… work with.” She realized at once that since they were both wardens, the working together thing could get messy if she didn’t snow over it fast. Neither of her friends were aware of her real occupation. They were certain she worked as a job coordinator in a corporate firm downtown, on the fortieth floor of a sky scraper that made her a number, a cog in the machine, and nothing particularly special.
“Jake, this is Elena Garcia, and this is Cassiana Honeywell. They’ve been close friends of mine since middle school.” Focusing on her friendship helped calm her down a little. Her friends meant everything to her. And now she was able to stand on her own two feet without feeling she was going to faint, at least.
Jake played his part to charming perfection, flashing her friends a drop-dead killer smile. He lowered his cup to nod amiably in their directions. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said, sounding for all the world like he actually meant it. “Any friend of Angel’s.”
Cass and Elena were wide-eyed. They looked from him, to whom they frankly beamed at, to Angel, whom she knew they were going to probe relentlessly for information once Jake left.
At the thought of him leaving, Angel knee-jerked and acted fast. “Jake, got a few minutes to spare?” she said, turning to him. “I mean… you’re welcome to join us.” She gestured to the one free chair at the table. It was right beside her. She hadn’t even meant for that to happen. Fate was messing with her.
She cleared her throat and explained. “It’s Cass’s birthday today, so we’re celebrating with coffee and cake pops. We have more than enough to share.”
Her friends readily agreed and asked him to join them as Angel gestured to the pile of café food at the center of the table. She wasn’t the only one who wanted his company.
Somewhere out there in the great beyond, the Storyteller must have been laughing like mad writing Angel’s scene tonight.