Chapter 12
What the Heart Wants
Serenity tried to be as talkative with the family as she had been when she arrived.
“The hospital is only about another 45 minutes away,” the old man explained from the back seat.
“Actually, I think it will be alright to just go home. I forgot that my mother gave me a knee brace a while back when I hurt my knee during a dance competition. That should take care of the problem.”
“Are you sure?” The husband was driving beside her.
“I think it might be best just to get checked out.” The woman leaned forward from the back seat. The old man voiced his agreement, too.
“Thank you all for caring so much, but I’m really fine. I wasn’t lost very long and I was able to find decent shelter for the one night. It’s nothing that a long sleep and a couple of good meals won’t fix. Besides, I need to contact a lot of people, like my professors.”
“Oh, are you a student?” Suddenly the family was asking her questions about her degree, her experience, and a host of other things that helped to get her mind off of the problems that she didn’t want to think about. The rest of the trip went relatively quickly, and they had Serenity back at her place. She thanked them profusely and promised to keep in touch before saying goodbye. Getting the spare key from its hiding spot, she entered the home and began getting ready.
Once inside, she went and found her knee brace. She collected some clean clothing, put her outfit in the washer, and headed to take another shower. Within an hour, Serenity was cleaned up and sitting at her computer. None of her friends would have heard about her disappearance and no one from Deep Water would bother emailing her. At some point she would need to get her bag, but at the moment she had no way of getting in touch with anyone who may have it.
“Oh, wait, Alaric should be able to help,” she muttered to no one in particular. Quickly she sent him an email that she and Ryland were alright and that she would need her bag returned. She asked if he could set up a way of getting the bag back since she didn’t have class again for a few days.
She had no more than stood up when she got a ping. Turning around, Serenity saw that Alaric had already replied.
You should be at the hospital.
It was the entire email. Serenity frowned, “What kind of an answer is that?” With a deep sigh, she tried to figure out another way to get her stuff. Without a phone, she couldn't contact Silas or Cora. “Only one way to fix this problem.”
Pushing herself up, she picked up her wallet, which she had left at home since she hadn’t needed it for the rafting trip, then headed out the door. Her walk took her to one of the nearby stores. There were several cheap phones that would do for now, so she bought one and began to head home. The smell of food lured her into a restaurant, and she decided to eat in and learn about the phone.
More than an hour had passed when she finally left and headed home to rest. Feeling exhausted, Serenity lay down, figuring she would trying to contact Silas or Cora after she rested.
When she woke, it was already dark outside. Groaning, Serenity rose and decided to just get ready for bed. She would start packing up the easy things that evening.
She was working on her second box of books when there was a knock on her door. Serenity frowned, turning to look at the clock. “Who on earth would stop by after 10?” Standing up too quickly, she twisted her knee. “Oh, damn it,” she muttered before heading to the door.
Looking through the peep hole, she saw Ryland standing on her step. For a moment she felt panic. How was she supposed to treat him now? There was no way she could possibly keep his interest, and the idea of losing him hurt.
“I know you are standing on the other side of the door.”
Serenity froze. “Why did you stop by?”
“First, I have your bag because Alaric said you asked to get it back.”
“What’s second?”
“I’ll tell you after you open the door.”
Serenity bit her lip and shut her eyes. “Alright, hold on a second.” She unlocked the door and peeked out.
“May I come inside?” He was looking at her with the familiar smile that looked hollow now that she knew more about him.
“As long as you promise not to drag me off to the hospital.”
“I promise that I won’t drag you off anywhere you don't want to go.”
Her heart was beating wildly, but her head was telling her it was a bad idea. Serenity paused for a second before pulling the door open. “Of course, sorry, come in. I’m still a bit drowsy.”
Ryland stepped into her place and slipped off his shoes. “That’s why you should be in the hospital.”
Serenity was immediately defensive. “You promised.”
“I did, but nothing was said about trying to persuade you to go.”
“Please don’t start right now, Ryland.” He gave her a strange look, then his eyes started moving around her place. “How are things going? Were they able to get the poachers?”
His face snapped back to her. “No, they had already moved on. The dogs brought back… they knew there were people around, so they slipped off. We’ll find them, it’s just going to take a while longer. Why are you packing?” Ryland’s blue eyes bore into her, as the question caught her completely off guard.
“Um, I just…” Serenity sighed. “Would you like something to drink? Have you eaten anything yet?”
“Water, please. And I am fine.”
Serenity gave him a knowing look before directing him to the couch in the living room. “Please sit down. I’ll be right back with your water.”
He nodded, then moved away wordlessly.
Serenity joined him a minute later with a small tray of food and the water. “Eat before you get too hungry.”
Ryland cocked an eyebrow at her, but there was no smile on his face. “What has happened? Why did you decide not to go to the hospital? And why are you packing?”
Serenity ran a hand over her forehead. “I'm not hurt enough to need the hospital. And I’m going to go back to the east coast.”
Ryland clenched his teeth, making his jaw even more defined than normal. “Are you too afraid here now?”
“Not afraid, just…”
He moved close to her and took her hand. “I am so sorry for failing to protect you, but please don’t leave.” His eyes begged her.
Serenity pulled her hand away. “I just don’t know…”
“What’s wrong? What can I do to convince you to stay? The idea of you leaving is…”
Serenity looked at him. “Ryland, what do you do for a living?”
“Oh.” There was an immediate change in his expression as Ryland closed his eyes. “I'm an actor. A fairly successful actor. A job that I did not choose and one I do not enjoy.”
“Then why do you do it?”
“Because what else can I do that will give me the tools to take care of everyone? My parents chose this career, and now it is too late to change paths.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“So you are going to leave just because of what I do?” His expression was slowly shifting into one of anger.
“I'm leaving because–”
His voice was like a low growl, “You promised not to get possessive.”
“I do not want to own you!” She moved away from him. “I wouldn’t even mind sharing you, but I can’t stand the idea of losing you. You are everything that I didn’t think I would find, and a few things that I didn’t want, but there is no way I can possibly keep your interest. How could I?” She stood up too fast, and immediately stumbled.
Ryland quickly stood and caught her. “I don’t understand what you are saying. If you leave you will lose me. If you stay, I… I don’t want to lose you. I have already lost so many people, I don’t want to lose you, too.” His hands were gripping her shoulders, but Ryland’s eyes seemed to be focused on something else. He moved his head and looked at her. “Please, don’t leave me.”
Serenity looked into the clear blue eyes. “I don’t want to be hurt any more. Men who can get someone else always do.”
“I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to say goodbye. And I want to protect you, not hurt you.”
“But you will get bored of me. I know you will.”
Ryland put his hand under her chin and looked into her eyes. “A woman who can accept that I am a shifter, and prefers the outdoors to stores. A woman who puts more emphasis on her mind because it is more important than her looks, even though she is stunning. The man who thinks he will get better than that is a complete fool.”
Serenity began to fight back tears. “I want to believe you, but experience tells me that isn’t the way life works.”
Ryland let go of her and took a deep breath. “If it is a matter of your heart versus your head, all I can do is tell you that I am not like the men who hurt you before. I cannot force you to believe me. If you choose to leave, I will not stop you, but is that something you can live with? For the rest of your life? Is this something you can throw away without trying?”
“I…” A tear rolled down her face. “I–” The tears began to fall faster.
Ryland looked at her, waiting for her to collect her thoughts. When the tears started flowing, he reached out and pulled her to him. “It’s okay. I promise that it will be okay. Whatever you decide, life will go on. It will just be colorless without you.” The last sentence was said in a hush that she almost couldn’t believe he had said.
Slowly she wrapped her arms around him. The tension in his body was released and he kissed her on the top of the head. “I promise to take care of you. I promise.”
Serenity clung to his shirt. “Ryland, I'm scared.”
She could feel his voice through his chest. “Me too. But I’m also excited in a way I haven’t been in so long.” He stroked her head. “You are worth the risk of getting hurt.”
Serenity pushed into him. “I don’t think I am. I’m so–”
The hand moved from the back of her head to under her chin. Carefully he turned her face toward his. “Human. But I won’t hold that against you if you won’t hold my heritage against me.”
Serenity couldn’t help but giggle. Quickly trying to hide it, she looked away. “The only thing I hold against you is how little you have told me about yourself. If I would have known what you did earlier….”
“Last night never would have happened, and you would have dug further into yourself. My world would have remained nearly colorless and bland. I do not like my job and the rest of the time I am responsible for so many other people. You were the first thing in my life in forever that was not a chore or obligation. You didn’t want me because of a preconceived idea of who you thought I was – you were interested in me for me, and that is nearly impossible.”
“You are quite charming.”
“You don’t need to lie to me. I know I can be difficult and–”
“Stubborn.” She gave him a slight smile. “Nearly as stubborn as me.”
“Yes, very nearly.” His eyes moved down to her mouth as he brushed away a tear.
Serenity leaned her face into his hand. “Okay. I’ll stay. But don’t hide anything else from me. Please.”
“I wasn’t hiding it. I honestly do not like what I do. Would you want to talk about most of your classes when you didn’t have to?”
Serenity shook her head. “I get your point. It came as such a shock and I just…”
“It’s okay. I should have realized that something like that would be difficult, it’s just that it doesn’t seem that way to me.”
“I understand. I’m sorry.”
“You’ve decided to stay, so it’s okay. Just promise you won’t freak out again. Be more like the brave woman who had no problem dealing with me shifting into a bear.”
Serenity frowned, “Yeah, that’s a good point.” Her cheeks flushed and she began to feel embarrassed. “There was something far more unusual about you than you being a very successful actor.”
Ryland nodded.
“How can I make it up to you?” Serenity looked up at him. “I’ll do anything because I was being incredibly stupid.”
“Go to the hospital.” He didn’t even wait to respond.
“Oh, seriously. You promised not to drag me away.”
“You said anything.”
Serenity groaned, “It’s too late to go tonight.”
Ryland looked over at a clock. “I guess you are right.” He leaned over and picked her up, catching her completely off guard. “If you are really against going to the hospital, I guess I will need to stay here for a week or so to take care of you.” Before she could answer, he kissed her. “But I think that I want to spend that time in your bed. With you.”
Serenity nodded. “I’ll still owe you then because I want that, too.”
Ryland laughed as he carried her into her bedroom.
The End
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