Chapter Seventeen
Hollis’s reality changed daily. His wolf was to blame. So was Ellen.
His basic needs would not be neglected. Food tasted better. Smells richer. Walking made him long to run. But now his appetite for life was out of control. And sex—with Ellen—was an Olympic sport he was happily addicted to. He’d almost mapped every faded scar on her body with his lips. Nothing appeased him like the sounds she made, her scents, and the tight heat that sheathed him when he was deep inside of her. He was insatiable, craving her, hard for her minutes after he’d worn them both out. He couldn’t get enough of her. And he loved it.
Even now, surrounded by work he’d once spent countless hours obsessing over every tiny detail, his hunger won out. She was in his arms, the tug of her fingers in his hair was the only invitation he needed. Her lips clung to his, sucking his lower lip into her mouth and making him so hard it hurt.
His fingers fumbled with the waist of her pants, pushing them down and baring the firm curve of her ass.
“Not worried about a colleague walking in, Dr. Robbins?” she whispered against his lips.
“I don’t care,” he said, gripping her tightly.
She laughed. “Do you normally seduce women in your lab?”
He pulled back then, staring down at her. “No. I don’t normally seduce women, period. But I need you now.”
She bit her lip, the hitch of her breath driving him crazy.
He lifted her, carried her across the room, and pressed her against the door. “If you’re worried about someone walking in.”
Her legs wrapped around his waist as his pants hit the floor. Her heat teased him, making his fingers shake as he rolled on the condom. Once it was on, he thrust into her and sank deep.
“Oh, Hollis.” She moaned, her legs tightening around his waist.
He smiled, thrusting into her slowly. Inch by inch, gloved tightly in her heat. Nothing felt better.
Her grip tightened in his hair as her gaze locked with his. He could spend hours like this, lost in Ellen. His wolf felt the same. Her wolf was there, welcoming him, craving him. They fed off the bond, making them strong and secure—needed and valued. Two parts of one whole.
“Hollis,” she whispered, straining against his leisurely pace. “Harder. Please.”
“Harder?” he asked, nipping her neck. She shuddered, her nails biting into his shoulders. He thrust deep, slid back, then slammed into her again.
“Yes.” She moaned. “Yes.” Her eyes opened, locking with his, blinded with lust—for him.
Whatever she wanted. He gripped her hips and pounded into her, his lips pressed against her neck. It was mindless and desperate. Her moans grew faster and faster, her heart beating rapidly, her blood rushing, and every muscle clenching tightly around him in anticipation. He knew she was close, felt the quivers intensify, before she stiffened. He thrust deep, loving the clenching of her body when she came apart.
Watching her climax was incredible. Wild. Uninhibited and fierce.
“Fuck.” He growled, sucking her nipple through the cotton of her tank top. Her fingers tugged his hair, her breath hitched, and he continued to play with her. Faster and harder, until he was mindless—out of control—pouring himself into her. He ground his teeth together, drawn so tight he worried he’d send them both crashing to the floor. Pleasure flooded every nerve, slamming over him and into him, wiping everything but Ellen—the feel of her—from his mind.
“You’re insatiable.” She gasped. “And I am sore.”
He slid from her, bracing himself against her and the door until the room was no longer spinning. “Are you complaining?”
She shook her head. “I like it.” The heat in her gaze made him groan.
His hands cradled her face. “Like it?” Like. Another insufficient word for what he was feeling. What else could she say?
Her hand pressed against the side of his face, her mismatched gaze falling from his. “I say we call it a day, Doctor? Unless there’s some pressing matter I don’t know about, I’d like something to eat before I take you to bed.”
He stepped back, tugging up her pants and pressing a kiss to her forehead. His wolf reveled in her scent as much as he did, lingering there so he could draw her in. It took effort to release her. “Almost.” He dressed and disposed of the condom. “Fifteen minutes?”
She glanced at the clock on the wall as she buttoned her pants. “I’m timing you.”
He grinned, already heading back to his desk. “I believe you.” He sat in his desk chair, finishing off three emails, saving the updated data files, and plotting the latest numbers he’d received on a new dysentery pill they were developing.
Her fingers smoothed between his eyebrows. “You frown when you’re working.”
“I’m not frowning. I’m concentrating,” he argued, catching her arm and pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist. “Which is harder to do when you’re sitting there.” Smelling like him. And sex. And arousal. He bit back a groan, wishing there was a way to rein in his out-of-control hunger for her.
“I’ll move,” she said, inching closer and leaning in to kiss him.
He laughed against her lips. “Thanks.”
The sound of a throat clearing behind them had him pulling away from her. Kim stood, mop in one hand, bucket in the other.
“I came to clean up the coffee,” she murmured, taking pains to avoid making eye contact. Ellen was right, something was wrong with his assistant.
He’d hired Kim Su because she was a consummate professional. He’d admired her attention to detail, her enthusiasm for work, and her ability to stay calm under pressure. In a lab environment, with controls and tight timelines, unexpected variables and frequent disappointments, Hollis valued her calm.
Now, she was anything but calm. Dilated pupils. Accelerated heart. Unsteady breathing. The scent of fear and stress. The clues were there, subtle but plain. He should have caught it. He, and his wolf.
“We have people to do that, Kim,” he reminded her.
“It was my fault,” she argued, smiling slightly—but still not looking directly at them.
Hollis glanced at Ellen. She was watching his lab assistant with unsettling intensity. That look alone would make him nervous, even without knowing she was a wolf. God she was beautiful. And dangerous. She radiated a predatory confidence that most humans shied away from. Like Kim. Now. He squeezed her hand until she looked his way. His slight frown made her posture ease, but she still wasn’t radiating “warm and friendly.”
With a sigh, he turned back to Kim. “I read your notes on the stem cell trial. It looks promising.”
“I thought you’d be pleased.” She nodded.
“Kim.” Hollis paused. They’d never discussed their personal lives. He knew very little about her and hoped she knew less than that about him. It was something he appreciated about working with her. But now…he couldn’t sit by and say nothing. “Are you okay?”
“Only tired. I’ve had a cold for a while.” She hedged, continuing to mop up the trail of coffee.
Her heartbeat faltered—the scent of fear increasing. She was lying. Why? He glanced at his mate again, relieved to see her studying his computer screen. “You’ve been working late the last two weeks. If you need some time off—”
“No.” The word was urgent. She looked at him then, dark eyes wide, her hands clutching the broom handle. “No. I’m fine, really.” Her gaze dropped to the floor.
She was anything but fine. “You’re sure? I may be your employer, but I’d like to think you’d tell me if you needed time. Or if something was going on in your life that required your attention. I’d understand.” He finished.
“I appreciate that, Dr. Robbins.” She cleared her throat. “I love my work here. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll leave early?”
Hollis glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost four. “Sounds good.”
“I hope you feel better, Kim. You’re very important to Dr. Robbins and his work.” Ellen’s words startled him and stunned Kim. Her dark eyes regarded Ellen with dismay. He understood. There were times he didn’t know what to make of his mate, either. But there was still fear in the woman’s gaze—and sadness.
“Thank you,” Kim whispered. “I’ll…I’ll go put this away and see you tomorrow.” She carried the mop and bucket from the room, not bothering to look up.
He stared at the door long after it shut. “She’s sick.” It was the easiest explanation. Right now, he really wanted an easy explanation.
Ellen snorted. “Keep lying to yourself.”
“Maybe she can sense your wolf?” he suggested. “She’s smart, intuitive, and freethinking. That’s what makes her such an exceptional lab assistant.”
Ellen scowled. “How nice for you.”
Hollis swallowed down his laughter, his gaze sweeping over Ellen’s face. “Do you realize how fierce you can be? Right now, you look like you could rip out her jugular.”
“I have ripped out someone’s jugular.” Her brows rose. “Keep singing your little lab assistant’s praises and you’ll see just how fierce I can be.”
“I look forward to it.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I need to finish—”
“Your fifteen minutes are up,” she interrupted, standing.
“You’ll have to give me five more.” He stared up at her. “It’s your fault. First you distract me, then you terrify my lab assistant. I can’t leave your blood samples out, files all over the place, or my computer on.”
She sighed, crossed her arms over her chest, and sauntered toward the table covered with files. “Where do they belong?”
“Far left file cabinet,” he said, smiling at her.
“I’ll help. But only because I’m hungry.” She glared at him, picked up the files, and went to work. In time, her natural curiosity kicked in and she was questioning the things she was supposed to be filing. Her mind was sharp, easily digesting processes and tests it had taken his crew weeks to decipher. And her insight was, as always, staggeringly unique and illuminating.
Something else to add to his growing lists of “things Ellen does to turn him on.” So far, that included things like breathing, running her fingers through her hair, shooting him irritated looks, and standing within fifty feet of him.
If she hadn’t pointed out Kim’s reaction, would he have noticed? He had the ability, it was time to use it. If he was going to be any help to Ellen, he should attempt to reach some sort of understanding with his wolf—beyond the whole addicted to her thing. Whatever was troubling Kim, it wasn’t being overtired or sickness. He’d seen that look before. She looked like Jessa after she’d seen her first wolf. Or Olivia when she realized there was no escaping the Others. Kim looked like she’d seen the monsters of this world—and knew Ellen was one of them.
…
She didn’t like being nervous, but she had good reason to be. Finn’s face appeared on the massive screen on the conference room wall. He was her Alpha now. This was her pack. She didn’t know what that meant or how they’d react to her being one of them. After being viewed as a possible threat for so long, she was prepared for the worst.
“Better?” Hollis asked, adjusting the cables on the back of the projector. Since they’d stayed in San Antonio, Finn had agreed to a teleconference to check in. He and the rest of the pack were gathered in his study, in their usual chairs, and grinning. Anders flipped Mal off and laughed.
“We can see you,” Finn agreed.
“How are Diana and Oscar? Jessa?” she asked, not seeing any sign of Finn’s mate or his children.
“Fine.” Finn smiled, looking more like a tired new father than the Alpha of mighty pack. “Naptime for all.”
“You look like you could use one as well,” Hollis commented, ever the diplomat.
Finn nodded. “When we’re done.”
Ellen glanced at Hollis, wishing he’d look her way.
“Anything new there?” her mate asked.
“No sign of the Others,” Mal spoke up.
“We haven’t seen any movement from them in San Antonio, San Francisco—any place we know they have a base.” Finn sighed, shaking his head. “They’re quiet. Too quiet.”
Not a good sign. She didn’t say it, but she knew they were all thinking the same thing. If they were quiet, they were biding their time.
“Could be they’re still licking their wounds?” Anders suggested.
As much as she wanted to believe that, she couldn’t. Bit by bit, they’d taken the Others’ known trafficking operations apart. It was a victory for Finn’s pack and those girls they’d freed. Undoubtedly their victory poked Cyrus’s pride. But the bastard would have a contingency plan. Or be developing a way to get even. Either way, the silence didn’t bode well.
“So, there’s nothing to report?” Mal asked, spinning a pen in his fingers.
“No,” Finn said.
“Tess has been behaving?” she snapped. As far as she was concerned, the girl was a liability. One who would take any opportunity to betray them. Thinking of Oscar or tiny Diana in Cyrus’s hold—her fingers gouged the wooden armrests.
He paused, his jaw tightening. “She’s stayed with her father—under supervision. Since he’s been awake, her attitude has changed. Dante has offered to change her.”
Ellen was speechless. “Why? Why would you allow such a thing?”
“Brown’s never asked me for a thing,” Finn said. “If this will save his daughter, I’ll do it. She’d be one of us then. Meaning, no longer a threat.”
True or not, she couldn’t shake off the unease the woman stirred within her. But things like forgiveness and second chances weren’t a luxury she could afford. Finn was Alpha. It was his decision—one he’d already made—and she’d accept it. That was the way a pack worked.
“Gentry’s with her most of the time,” Anders added, making a point of winking broadly.
Ellen frowned but held her tongue. Her opinion didn’t matter.
“She loves her father,” Olivia offered up. “I know she’s confused, but if she could pick who she belonged to, it would be our pack, I believe that.”
“Which is exactly what she’d want you to believe so you won’t kill her,” Ellen murmured, unable to give the girl the benefit of the doubt. Instinct told her keeping the girl alive was a mistake. Cyrus had years to program her, to strip away who and what she was… Was it possible to truly remove his hold on her? Was risking the children and the future of her pack worth risking?
“Love isn’t enough when it comes to our wolves.” Mal’s voice was hard.
“Pack loyalty comes first.” Dante’s glare, directed at her, was impossible to miss. “So why the fuck are you siding with her?”
Hollis’s hand tightened on her shoulder. “Ellen is part of this pack now.” Threat edged his voice. “She is one of us. And you will be loyal to her, as she is to you. Even when you’re being a motherfucking asshole. Right, Dante?”
Dante’s gaze narrowed. “Right.” He wasn’t pleased, but there was no denying the respect on Dante’s face when he looked at her mate. Her fierce and sexy-as-hell mate.
“That was some announcement, man.” Mal was laughing.
“Guess that was one way to make it official.” Anders chuckled. “I can see how he swept you right off your feet, huh, Ellen?”
She laughed. Anders had that effect on most people.
“Welcome to the pack,” Finn said, chuckling.
She smiled, glancing at Hollis. His gaze, filled with pride and ownership, swept over her before he looked at the screen.
“I keep no secrets from my pack,” she spoke softly but knew they heard. A wolf’s hearing could pick up the slightest ripple of sound. “If I have not been forthcoming before, it was out of self-preservation. You were not my pack, I owed you nothing. But now, that has changed.”
Hollis’s look was concerned, his brow furrowing deeply. “Are you sure?”
No. Not in the least. But she nodded.
Finn leaned against his desk, preparing. The pack seemed to straighten, their wolves’ senses heightening and pricking up with anticipation.
“You mean we’re finally going to get answers?” Anders asked, leaning forward eagerly.
Ellen appreciated his attempt at levity, but it didn’t ease the weight pressing in on her. This was a way to earn trust from her new pack—and that mattered. She’d never choose to be vulnerable, but she would answer whatever questions they asked of her. “If you have questions,” she said.
“Do we have questions?” Mal laughed. “That’s the understatement of the year.”
“You must know, I have few memories before I was taken by the Others. But I will do my best to answer what I can.” Her hands were clammy, a light sweat broke out on her forehead.
Finn studied her before asking, “You knew Byron was alone. How?”
Not the first question she’d expected. This answer would lead to more questions—questions that would require them to set aside skepticism and force them to accept further changes to their reality.
Hollis had been skeptical of magic. How would the rest of the pack take it? “I call it reading. A sharing of memories and sensations through touch.” She stopped, waiting.
Everyone was staring at her. The book was helping her fill in the holes. Occasionally, new images cropped up, so clear and real she knew they were from her past. As far as she could remember, it was the same. Once her gifts were known, everything changed. Most feared what she could do, thought her a freak. According to the notes in the book, they’d had to flee to avoid prosecution for witchcraft.
“Byron was dead.” Dante’s eyes narrowed.
Ellen glanced at Hollis. “Not long. The spirit lingers…the body holds on to its former state. Especially if the death is violent or unexpected. It’s a shock to the soul as much as the body.”
“That’s freaky shit, Ellen,” Anders sounded off.
“I agree.” Ellen nodded. “It isn’t always a pleasant experience.”
Hollis sat beside her, his thigh pressed against hers. “We’ve been working through the vault. Most of my collection belonged to her original pack. Including a journal. It contains more valuable information than all my years of research has provided.”
“Have you read it yet?” Finn asked Hollis.
“We’ve started. It’s slow going.” Hollis took her hand. “It’s exhausting work. Fucking draining.”
“It’s a record of the wolves.” She shook her head. “Elder scribes maintained it. Our heritage, rites and customs, maps we’ve traveled, and a record of births and deaths.” She glanced at the faces on the screen. “I remember pieces, pulled from the stories read aloud.” She shrugged, awash with memories faded around the edges.
“So your scribes were sort of like Hollis?” Anders asked. “All-knowing and shit? Were they condescending, too?”
Hollis sighed, but the rest were laughing.
She threaded her fingers with his. “They were revered, as he is.” He was looking at her, but she couldn’t look at him. She’d already revealed enough to their audience. What she and Hollis shared was none of their business.
“Maybe if we knew more about our heritage and origin, perhaps things between us and the Others wouldn’t be so tense.” Finn’s gaze was direct.
Ellen shook her head. “Nothing would ease that. Save Cyrus’s demise.”
“That’s the only option?” Dante asked.
Mal rubbed his hands together. “Sign me up. I’m ready.”
“Is there anything in the book that can help us?” Anders asked. “Defeat him, I mean?”
“Not so far,” Hollis said.
“You didn’t know the book was there?” Finn asked Hollis.
“No idea. It’s been hidden in the trunk for years.” Hollis’s thumb brushed along her knuckles. “The things in the vault—spoke to her.” She appreciated the effort he was making to keep touching her. Did he know his touch eased her? Or was his wolf publicly staking his claim on her? Neither was bad.
“How does that work?” Anders piped up. “Books don’t talk, normally, you know. I’m not saying I don’t believe you cuz I’ve seen enough shit to know things aren’t cut and dry.” Anders had a way with words. “But this is right up there with the whole turning into a wolf thing.”
“If you’re a reader, you tend to be in tune. Alive or dead, past or present, written or spoken—I hear what needs or wants to be heard. Animate and inanimate objects, too, it seems,” she murmured. “It was useful for identifying wounds, their causes, and treating them.”
Olivia nodded. “Like having a built-in CAT scan.”
She nodded.
“You were born with it?” Finn asked. “Not taught?”
“I’ve never known a turned wolf to have the gift.” She paused. “From what I remember.”
“Back up, I’m betting that went over well.” Mal snorted. “Having someone get into your head. Most people wouldn’t like that.”
“No, they don’t. And I wouldn’t—don’t.” Ellen said.
“Cyrus knew?” Finn asked. “And used you power for his benefit?”
She stiffened but nodded.
The change in mood was palpable. Anger, fear, the call to hunt—all justified.
Finn leaned against his desk, his gaze searching her long and hard before he drew in a deep breath. “How did you lose your memory?”
“She sustained a massive head trauma,” Hollis interrupted, the edge in his voice growing. His wolf, ready to defend and protect her.
“What happened?” Finn kept his gaze pinned to her.
“Cyrus. He—the day my pack was wiped out.” She paused, awash in pain.
She avoided the screen then, needing to stay strong. It would be natural for Finn and his pack to panic over her words. They should. But knowing what Cyrus was capable of would ensure the same fate wouldn’t befall them.
“Your pack?” Mal growled.
Olivia’s voice wavered. “All of them?”
Her memories were still hazy, but she and Hollis had been able to piece together much of what happened. “We had tried to make peace, to make allies with the Others’ pack. William was the Alpha then, his brother Cyrus his second. Our pack’s abilities made us an asset or an enemy. To avoid bloodshed, William and I agreed to become a mated pair.”
“Wait, you can choose?” Anders sat forward. “Then why has Finn, Mal, and Hollis all lost their minds over their mates? It’s scary as shit. Couldn’t they choose not to bond? And, you know, stay sane.”
Ellen smiled. “Bonds are different. Your pack has true mated pairs, unbreakable for life, making their beasts stronger. William and I chose to for the good of the species—for peace. Once Cyrus realized we could use reading beyond healing, he became…obsessed.”
She took the glass of water Hollis offered her and smiled at him.
“Say what you will about Cyrus, he can weave a spell with words. He convinced the Others that we were witches, capable of mind-control. They’d all seen us reading—it wasn’t too great a leap. No matter the species, we fear what we don’t know.” She paused. “All who opposed him were killed—my mate and my daughter as well.” The quiet that fell was too heavy with fury and sadness.
“His pack didn’t resist keeping you? Since you were a witch, too.” Finn’s jaw clenched, a quick look Hollis’s way told her he regretted asking the question. But it was too late, he’d asked and she would answer.
These memories were all too sharp. “I had power he wanted to exploit. He said he could control me as his mate.” Her teeth clenched. “A silver collar weakens the body but not the spirit. I made it clear that would never happen.” That’s when she’d visited the hole for the first time.
“Motherfucker.” Hollis pushed out of his chair and stalked the length of the room, his growl tearing at her calm. “You don’t have to do this.”
Hearing this hurt him. If the roles were reversed—she didn’t want to think about it. But she straightened, refusing to buckle under the weight of the pack’s gaze. Hers was a story of shame. But it would not define her.
“I’m guessing he wasn’t happy about that?” Mal asked, his smile hard and mean. “I’d have loved to see that—you pissing him off. And there was nothing he could do about it.”
Cyrus had done plenty. Her skin was covered in the scars to prove it. But she didn’t want to share more than she had to.
“Once his pack started to weaken and die, he wanted me to cure them. Their females could not breed. Those who did deliver, lost their infants within days of birth.” She swallowed, heat scorching her skin. She’d no love for the pack, but the loss of those children haunted her dreams. “There was nothing I could do.” She cleared her throat, trying to distance herself from the shame that boiled up inside of her. “I was weak from imprisonment but even when I grew stronger, I was useless.” She wrapped her arms around her waist. “Their sickness had no cause or cure, nothing to treat.”
“They’re dying?” Dante asked. “We can’t just wait them out?”
“Not all of them. Only those Cyrus has turned the last few years.” She paused.
“What do you think? What does your wolf say?” Finn asked.
Ellen had spent hours pondering the cause. “Wolves are loyal, noble, and strong. Their pack—their family—is what makes them so. Your pack is strong and united. They seek to protect and defend—as Mal did for Olivia. The Others are none of those things. Because their Alpha has forgotten what it is to be a true wolf.”
“Being a wolf is pretty fucking awesome.” Anders chuckled.
There was a rumble of overall approval—surprising her. Perhaps not all of the pack was eager for a cure. It was heartening to know.
“Why keep you then? If you couldn’t cure the pack?” Dante was still skeptical.
She swallowed. “My blood. It made him more powerful. And as his pack weakened, he craved strength more than anything. He needed me for that. According to Tess, still needs me.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Mal asked.
“Jesus.” Anders covered his face with his hands.
“He drank your blood?” Dante was up, rolling his neck and staring at the ceiling.
“I’m so sorry, Ellen,” Olivia spoke softly. “And I’m angry—for you. I wish there was something I could do.”
“We will do something.” Finn’s words were a promise. “We will kill him.”
“Not like this. Not full of anger—prone to mistakes. He’d like that. He’d have the advantage.” She shook her head, hating the guilt and shame her past stirred. “I will kill him. It is my right. A promise I made, a promise I must keep.”
All eyes were on her then, but no one said a word. What could they say? Her wolf was on alert, challenging them to argue with her. She’d bared her soul to them, but they’d be foolish to think that made her weak. Her past made her—her wolf—fierce and strong. And now they understood why.
“This is really some pissing match for him? The one with the biggest dick wins?” Anders asked.
“Yes. Not that I’d ever say it that way.” She smiled, in spite of the tension stiffening her spine.
“Why target Jessa and the children?” Olivia asked. “Just to get to Finn?”
Ellen didn’t want to answer that question. Olivia was still naive to know just how dark this world could be.
“For breeding,” Finn ground out.
“You said your blood made him strong?” Hollis spun to look at her, his eyes full of rage—his wolf’s eyes. “Because you’re a born wolf.”
The moment Finn understood, he sagged forward. His hands stiffened, his fingers gripping the edge of his desk until the wood splintered and the sides collapsed in.
Nothing compared to that feeling. Nothing. Cyrus wanted his children for their blood. They, like her, would make him powerful. Considering how much stronger Finn’s pack was, who knew what the children’s blood would do to Cyrus.
Coldness seeped into her, bone-deep and horrible.
Hollis was breathing hard and wild-eyed and on the verge of losing it—again. And it tore at her heart.
Her wolf responded instantly. She wanted nothing more than to be alone with her mate, to give and receive comfort. But she knew the truth. Until Cyrus was dead, any comfort they’d find was fleeting.