CHAPTER FOUR

Spectra

 

A phone ringing repeatedly woke me from the darkness of my unconsciousness. I blinked and saw Alexander run into his bedroom and collect the phone from the bedside table before he answered. He wore his usual jeans and nothing else and as he sat facing away from me on the other side of the bed, I cringed at the fresh claw marks gouging in his back. I sat up slowly, testing for any residual pain. My nerves felt overly sensitive, but nothing I couldn't handle.

“I can do that. I'll meet you in thirty minutes.” Alexander hung up the phone and swiveled to face me. He looked guarded. “How are you feeling?”

“I'm fine. You?” I let my eyes linger on his back.

Alexander looked over his shoulder and smirked. “I've suffered worse, and it was nothing compared to what you did.” He stood and moved to the wardrobe, pulling out a suit and throwing it on the bed. “I've got a big meeting today and need to meet someone else before that. You barely slept last night. Why don't you stay here the day and tonight as well?” He didn't look at me, focusing on changing.

I stood up and kissed his cheek before I raided his wardrobe for the few items of clothing I left here for when I spent the night. “I have something I want to do today, and since it requires travel, an early start works in my favor.”

Alexander stopped buttoning up his shirt and turned me to face him, touching my cheek gently. “If you get back after dark, you call me. I'll drop everything to meet you.”

I smiled and nodded before stepping away to pull the long black dress over my head. I collected my boots and put them on before standing and smiling as Alexander finished his tie and pulled on the suit jacket. Alexander looked at me with his own smile. “What's that look for?”

“You look good in a suit. I rarely see you in one, so I'm enjoying the view.”

Alexander reached out and pulled me into a deep kiss. When his phone rang again, I slipped away and grabbed my messenger bag to leave. Alexander caught my hand. “Come back to me tonight?”

I felt the smile die on my face. “You know I can't, Alexander.”

Alexander's dark eyes met mine and he let me see the pain in them. “How long will you make me wait this time?”

“It's not about punishing you,” I answered softly, confused by his pain. “You know what today is and that I keep vigil for Danika.”

Alexander's eyes folded back in his head. “I'm sorry, Spec. I knew today was important for another reason but couldn't remember why.” The phone stopped ringing for a minute and then started again. “Tomorrow night?”

I blinked. “We agreed on random for a reason, Alexander. You made the rules so you could be free to do what you needed and so I wasn't targeted.” I wanted to be with him, but it took so long to get used to him not being there after he decided we needed to put distance between us.

“I meant for you not to stay every night, not for you to disappear for months on end.” Alexander lifted my hand to his chest, placing it over his heart. “I stopped bringing women back here years ago. That's why you stopped coming so regularly, isn't it? You came over and saw me with someone?”

“Yes,” I answered honestly. “I know there are other women, that you need to look like a free agent and keep the possibility open of meeting another balance who might work for you, but I need to protect myself too, just in case that possibility turns into a reality.” The chance was too high that I would never be worthy of him, that he could meet someone in the meantime who would become his balance, and what would be left for me then?

I stepped away, our hands falling away from each other before I walked out his apartment door. I caught the train an hour south of the city to the town we grew up in and caught the bus to the graveyard where my mother was buried. Twelve years ago, my older sister Danika went to college with my mother's pride of raising a daughter successfully all by herself. Six months later on this date, my sister went missing, her blood found splashed over the wall of her dorm room. Her body was never found.

My mother fell into a deep depression, and ten years ago, on this same day, I came home from school to find her exsanguinated in the bath tub. I was sixteen when my mother died, and I went to live with the nuns in the city, catching the train forty-five minutes every day so I could keep attending the same school. Despite already dating Jeff, Alexander had been my rock with each loss.

I placed two pots of flowers on my mother's grave. Yellow roses for my mother, yellow lilies for Danika. I took out my notebook and wrote up the last few days of excitement in my life, then ripped out the pages containing the last year of my life, folded them together, dug a shallow hole, and buried them. It wasn't a detailed account, but whenever something of interest occurred that I would want to tell them, or something funny, or special, or maybe just when I thought of one of them. I would write it down for them. Each year for the past nine years, I buried those pages and details with my family.

I sat quietly for a while and then picked myself up and caught the bus to Alexander's family home. I rang the doorbell, trying so hard to hold back the tears of all the emotions bottled up inside me. When Phillipa Williams opened the door, her green eyes widened slightly before they softened in her pretty heart-shaped face and she pulled me into the biggest hug. “Spectra, I'm glad you came.”

I breathed in the scent of her conditioner in her auburn hair and felt instantly calmer at the familiarity of it. She held me till I relaxed and then moved me inside to shut the door. She took me into the kitchen, sat me at the table, and made us both tea before she sat down opposite me.

“You've been to see your mother?” I nodded. Phillipa smiled, “I was going to go past this afternoon and put some flowers down.” She pointed to a bunch of beautiful fresh-cut roses sitting in a vase on the table. “Do you still keep vigil each year?”

“I do.” I sipped my tea, and we sat quietly with each other for several minutes.

“Alexander told us he finally told you everything.” Phillipa started gently. “I thought you would have come before now.”

“I wanted to come. I have so many questions, and I didn't even know where to start asking. But Alexander told me I needed to find my own way to him for this to work, and I didn't want to ruin my chances. So I kept visiting Mom each year and resisted coming here. It's been hard, though.”

“But you've come now?” I nodded. Phillipa leaned forward. “What happened?”

I swallowed. “There's another sorcerer,” I lifted my eyes to Phillipa's, “and he's found me.”

Phillipa closed her eyes. “What's his name?”

I got the feeling she already knew. “Bay Ryder.”

Phillipa took a deep breath and stood abruptly from the table, turning her back to me, her hand going to her mouth where she started biting her nails, something I'd never seen Phillipa do in all the years I'd known her.

“I need you to explain it to me, Phillipa. Alexander told me, but I think he's only told me the easy bits. I need you to explain it to me properly, and then, if you can, I need you to teach me.”

Phillipa took a breath and composed herself before she returned to the table. She folded her hands, squared her shoulders, and met my eyes. “The really powerful sorcerers need their power to be earthed. They need someone who can draw the power from them when it gets too much, who can bear to have that power pressed against them and not flinch. This person takes the form of a balance. A balance can't just be anyone. You have to be born of the right stuff, for your genetics to be right. And not every balance will be strong enough to endure the most powerful sorcerer.

“Your genetics makes you a balance, Spectra, and Alexander is one of the most powerful sorcerers to walk the earth in centuries, just like his father before him. What would you like to know?” Phillipa lifted her tea to her lips and sipped.

“What's the point of the testing? If I can be with him physically now, why do I need to prove I'm worthy?”

Phillipa smiled. “He holds his power back from you to protect you, Spectra. That takes a lot of effort. When he unleashes it, if you can't shield yourself or absorb it, you will feel like you are on fire.”

I nodded, having a better understanding of how much Alexander was protecting me after our shower this morning.

“Then there is the need to carry on the line. If you conceive my grandchild, you will develop minor powers during your pregnancy. If you are strong enough, you will keep those powers as your own after the child is born. If you are not, Alexander would lose you and his child to what I've heard is a very tragic and painful end.”

I took a deep breath. This was all new. “How did Alexander know I was a balance?”

Phillipa smiled softly as if in memory. “A boy started a fight with him at school one day. Alexander was trying so hard not to lose his temper and hurt the boy. Apparently, you got between them and shamed the other kid to back down, and then you took Alexander's hand in yours to walk him home. He should have been too hot to touch, but he said as you walked, he felt his anger seeping out of him, and he realized you were taking his anger without even realizing that's what you were doing. Do you remember?”

I nodded, eyes wide slightly with shock. “My hand was so itchy that I kept rubbing it against his to try and scratch it. I didn't want to let go of his hand, so I just made myself endure it. He'd always been there for me, and I wanted to be there for him.”

Phillipa nodded. “After Alexander told me, I looked into your family line. Your mother was lovely and courageous raising two headstrong daughters on her own, but she was very human. Your father was a bit of a mystery. What do you know about him?”

I shrugged. “He was a one-night stand. I never met him.”

“I didn't really know my father either. He cared for my mother and set us up financially, but I only remember snippets of him coming to visit. It stopped well before I was old enough to question his absence.” Phillipa gave me a sad smile. “It is our father's genetics that makes us a balance, Spectra. Not just for sorcerers either. In essence, we are just as much a child of the Nachtwelt, if not more so. But we are something not spoken about or remembered by many.”

I gave Phillipa a doubtful look. I had held no power before I died, there was nothing special about me then, and really, I didn't believe there was anything special about me now. The ability to become invisible and pass through solid walls was great, yes, but it took ages to learn control over it.

Phillipa smiled and held her hand out towards the kitchen. She wiggled her fingers for a second, as if they were cramping, and closed her eyes, clearly focusing. A moment later, the pen sitting on the counter flashed across the room and landed in Phillipa's outstretched hand. She opened her eyes and smiled.

“I thought I was extremely ordinary growing up. I stood out in no way really. I wasn't a stunning beauty and as a teenager, yuck!” Phillipa screwed up her face, “I was gangly and clumsy, and all I wanted was for my breasts to actually form. I was flat chested till I went to college, and even then, what I developed I didn't require a bra for.”

Spectra looked down at Phillipa's voluptuous chest and raised a brow. Phillipa held what I considered to be the epitome of a feminine figure. She was curvy in all the right places and absolutely beautiful. Phillipa blushed. “These boobs didn't arrive till I was pregnant with Alexander. Thankfully, they stuck around after he was born. The telekinetics developed during my pregnancy too.”

She reached across the table and took my left hand in hers before she placed it palm down on the table and started drawing with the pen on it. “Being a balance is a combination of two things, Spectra. The first is the shield.” Phillipa finished drawing, and Spectra could see the old-fashioned shield symbol along with a few symbols on it. “We feel the others. We don't have to see them because their power calls to us and we can sense them near us. With the Nachtwelt who can wield power to harm, rather than just to transform, we need to be able to shield, because that power burns in them and will feel like it is burning us.

“The benefit is that each power burns a different way or at a different frequency, which makes their power like a fingerprint. If you learn to sense those frequencies, you could work for the government to identify Nachtwelt criminals. I still freelance occasionally, but there are very few balances in the world so they will always welcome another.

“In the case of sorcerers, they burn over several frequencies, and we need to learn to shield ourselves on all those frequencies. They learn at a young age to shield others, but there are times when they will lose control and drop those shields. The more powerful the sorcerer, the more frequencies we need to be able to shield. The test to be worthy to be a wife of a sorcerer is that you can shield against them at their full power.”

I touched my chest where I remember feeling that soothing coolness, like a stone against my chest, and wondered. “Alexander tried to force my power this morning. Is that what he was doing, trying to force my body to shield?”

Phillipa's eyes widened with fury. “Yes.” She gritted her teeth and took a deep breath. “Sorcerers can force a balance to shield by exposing them to their power, but if they go past the balance's threshold, they can kill you. Alexander knows better than to do something like that.”

“He was letting me know what Bay Ryder would do to me if he worked out what I was.” I tried to soothe.

Phillipa shook her head. “Alexander really hates Bay, but I can’t believe even he would do that. I've known Bay Ryder for many years now. Henry, Alexander's father, and Bay dealt with a lot of issues in the Nachtwelt together. Maybe it's the difference in their jobs that put Alexander on edge around Bay.”

“When Alexander stepped in as L'Ordre in the city, he made a name for himself very quickly and pissed off a lot of the predator upper echelon.” I murmured before sipping my tea.

Phillipa nodded. “Alexander detests the predators for his own personal reasons. Though I would have thought Bay would support the new proposed law about not killing to feed.”

I threw up my hands. “Stuffed if I know what the hell happens on that side of the Nachtwelt, Phillipa. I only met Bay Ryder on Friday night, and so far, all I know about him is he wants to sleep with me.” I cringed the moment it left my mouth. I'd never discussed sex with Phillipa before and worried that was too much information.

Phillipa dropped her eyes to the counter. “I'm surprised. Bay has a reputation for his lack of interest in women.”

It was my turn to look at the counter top. “Apparently, he reacts to me.”

Phillipa frowned. “Do you react to him?” I bit my lip. Phillipa threw her chair back, standing over me furiously. “How the hell did he get close enough to you for you to even know?”

I turned my head away, ashamed. Phillipa didn't know about the business I'd set up for myself while I completed college. Phillipa rubbed the back of her neck, walking away to look out the window.

“What happened between you and Alexander? You were basically living together when he told you how important you were to him. What changed?”

I swallowed. “When he became L'Ordre, he decided it was for the best the Nachtwelt not know I exist, and for him to be able to see other women.” I felt the tear escape and swiped it away. “We still see each other, but it's not as often anymore.”

Phillipa kept her back to me. “Are you seeing anyone else?”

The silence stretched out between us. I cleared my throat. “You said there was a secondary thing?”

Phillipa nodded, wiped her face, and composed herself before she came back to the table. She picked up the pen and started drawing on the back of my other hand. This drawing I didn't recognize immediately.

“You need to be a shield and a sponge.” She clicked the lid back on her pen. “Just like the first time you took Alexander's anger and morphed it into something else. You need to be able to take the fire of their power and morph it into whatever they need at the time, or, at times, whatever you need.”

“It's sounds so easy, but it's not,” I murmured.

Phillipa nodded. “Usually we are more gifted at one than the other. You automatically siphoned Alexander's anger from him with no training, Spectra. I would say that is your strength. So, focus on controlling when you do that, exert your energy on shielding.” Phillipa sighed and used her finger to tilt my chin up so I would meet her eyes. “In order to learn, you need to be exposed more regularly, Spectra. If you stay away, you will never become what he needs.”

“Alexander fears Bay will come after me if he knows what I am, that he will try to claim me.”

Phillipa took her hand back. “You are the first woman in centuries to get Bay Ryder's attention, Spectra. Balance or no, he's coming for you, and from the sounds of it, you're not going to be able to resist him any more than you did Alexander.”