Chapter Five – Sian

Matthew Lewis had a reputation. And it wasn’t good.

After the stunt he pulled coming to the sanctuary under the pretense of wanting to adopt a pet, Sian had made a few calls to old colleagues inquiring as to what kind of man he was. Ruthless was about the nicest thing people had to say about him. Some of them spoke with awe, some with admiration, but no one spoke with liking.

Now, here she was faced with the prospect of building a relationship with the man, just because of some kind of mating bond that shifters believed in. Could she really abandon all reason and buy into something she couldn’t even feel for herself?

Or did she feel it?

When he touched her hands, she felt a connection with him. As he rubbed his thumb over her skin, it was as if he were touching her very soul.

“I can’t just lower my barriers and let you in.” Sian needed to protect herself, she needed to protect her children.

“I know. And I’d settle for you allowing me to dismantle those barriers one by one. I want to work hard to be the man you want, the man you deserve.” He lowered his head and pressed his lips to the back of her hand. Feelings, emotions, long since dead stirred inside her. Among those his kiss awoke was hope. Hope that there might truly be a man out there who could love her, unconditionally, for who she was. And who she could love unconditionally in return.

She nodded and pulled her hand from his to dash away a tear that trickled down her cheek. “I’m going to need time.”

He looked up at her, his soft brown eyes, threaded with amber, filled with kindness. “I can give you that. All I ask is that you give me a chance.”

“I can give you that.” She sighed and the breath shuddered through her body. “I have chores to do.”

Matthew rose to his feet and pulled her up to stand before him. “I have a house to fix up.”

“Kevin Jones’s old house?” Sian asked, sniffing loudly as she fought for control of her emotions. Matthew had stirred up a hornet’s nest of feelings she’d squashed flat when her relationship with Peter imploded.

“Yes. I planned to level the place and build luxury vacation homes on the land. But I’m having second thoughts.” He grinned and stroked her cheek. “I’m a new man already.”

Sian gave a short laugh. “You really want to live next to the shelter?”

“Don’t you?” His question took her completely by surprise.

“Me?”

“Yes, I figured since you loved this place so much and planned to open this pet grooming salon here that you might want to live close by.”

Sian reached for the back of her chair and sat down again. “I never gave it much thought.”

“One day we will live together,” he assured her.

“Confident and pushy. Your reputation precedes you,” she teased.

“And honest.” He held out his hands as if asking for mercy.

“I like honest.”

“I know you might have heard…things about me,” Matthew began, “but I want you to know I’m not a liar. I may be harsh and cruel, but I’ve never lied in business.”

“And that makes it all okay?” Sian asked bluntly.

“I thought it did. The end justified the means. But I’m willing to grow and learn. Are you willing to teach me?” Matthew asked her.

“Are you teasing me?” Sian asked.

“No. I mean it. I want to change. This is a new start for me. I’ve spent my life accumulating money, it was like a game because I had nothing else in my life. Now I have you. And your daughters. I promise you I’ll do my best for them.” His honesty choked her.

“They mean more to me than my own happiness,” she warned. “We are a package deal and if you hurt them, you hurt me,” she warned.

“Hey, I don’t intend to ever hurt them. Why would I? Children are the future. As a shifter, my goal in life is to find my mate and raise a family. If that family consists of children from another father, I don’t care.” His voice was hoarse with emotion.

“That’s more than their own father has ever done for them.” Sian put her hand over her mouth. The well of emotion building up inside her threatened to explode and she could not let him see her cry. Not really, ugly cry.

“I’m sorry,” Matthew sad simply. “For you and for him. He has no idea how lucky he is.”

“Was,” Sian corrected. “He is my past.”

“I hope I might be your future.” He gave her a boyish smile that made it hard to believe this was the same Matthew Lewis who tore his way through people’s lives leaving sadness and loss in his wake.

“Right now my future consists of cleaning out dog kennels.” She stood up and made for the door.

“When can I see you again?” he asked.

Sian turned around. “How about you come over for dinner tonight? It’s nothing special, but you are welcome to join us.”

“Really?” He sounded genuinely shocked at the invitation.

“Yes. I’ll see you about six.” She gave him a brief smile and drank in the image of him. It was the first time she’d seen him in casual clothes, and he looked equally as delicious in jeans and a sweater as he did in his smart suits.

“I’ll bring wine,” he offered.

“If you really want to make a good impression on my daughters, you could bring dessert, too.” With that, she slipped out of the office and went to find Ronni. She needed to talk to someone and Ronni was a good listener, she also understood the mating bond and since she’d only found her own mate a couple of weeks ago, she was as near to an expert in this area as anyone could get.

“There you are,” Ronni greeted Sian when she finally tracked her friend down to the nursery kennel where six playful kittens were being watched over by their harassed mom.

“Here I am.” Sian joined Ronni watching as the kittens tumbled over each other, biting and kicking their siblings with their little teeth and claws.

“How is Matthew?” Ronni asked.

“He’s good. At least he is good right now.” She arched an eyebrow at Ronni. “What do you think?”

“About what?” Ronni asked, picking up a small ball and throwing it for the kittens to chase.

“Matthew.”

“Any specific area you would like me to comment on?” Ronni asked with a raised eyebrow.

Sian giggled. “Well, I have my own opinions on his handsome face and long, lean thighs.” She blushed as she spoke, and Ronni collapsed into a fit of giggles.

“He sure is handsome. And strong. I always thought property developers were pasty-faced and wimpy due to all the time they spend inside doing big deals and ruining people’s lives.”

Sian drew a breath and let it out slowly. “Do you think he can change?”

“He already has.” Ronni turned her full attention on Sian. “The man that walked into the reception office this morning is not the same man who came here two weeks ago. Did that happen overnight? I suspect it did. Meeting you gave him a new focus, it gave his life meaning.”

“Can I trust him?” That was the most important question for Sian.

Ronni paused. “I think you can trust him more than anyone else in the world.”

“That’s a guarded answer.”

“It’s the only honest answer I can give. We can never know anyone, not truly. But what I do know is that Matthew would never do anything to intentionally hurt you, and that is something that could not be said for anyone else you will ever meet.” Ronni turned back to the kittens. “They are ready to go to their new homes.”

“The girls will be happy. Although my boiler is not working properly, and the house is freezing, so I might have to postpone taking them home for a couple of days.” Sian had woken up this morning to a freezing cold house. She’d lit the fire in the sitting room and they’d all huddled around it, but it barely took the chill off the rest of the house.

“Do you have someone coming to repair it?” Ronni asked.

“I called the landlord and he said he would call someone out. But he isn’t always fast at picking up the phone and calling in contractors. So it might be a couple of days.” Sian shuddered at the thought. Bear Creek was cold in the winter, snow flurries had been covering the ground in a white sugar-like coating for days. “If the temperature plummets much more we’ll be coming to live in the back room at the shelter. At least it has heating.”

“I can ask around if anyone has some portable heaters you can use. If you are really stuck, my mom and dad can squeeze you all in, I’m sure.” Ronni put her arm around Sian. “What’s wrong?”

“This is our first Christmas on our own and it’s going to be pretty miserable if our luck doesn’t change.”

“Maybe Peter came to sign the papers for the divorce and you’ll get the money from the house. Plus a big maintenance check.” Ronni knew how tight things were financially for Sian and the girls since Peter had stayed in the marital home and refused to pay toward the girls. Sian had taken him to court, but that had further drained her finances even though the court had ruled in her favor.

“Peter is never going to do anything without being forced to. I have a feeling he is here to renegotiate. Knowing Peter, he’ll wait until we’re really miserable and then come in for the kill.”

“Can he do that?” Ronni asked. “I thought the courts had told him to sell the house and give you half.”

“The courts did, but Peter thinks he is above the court. He can’t understand why he has to sell the house since I was the one who walked out. He sees his affair as my fault. That I drove him into the arms of another woman because I no longer slept in the same bed as him. He can’t understand why. He can’t see how wrong his behavior was.” Sian took a breath. “But I’m not going to allow him to bully me anymore.”

“Good girl.” Ronni picked up one of the kittens and handed it to Sian. “Here, have a cuddle.”

Sian hugged the small kitten close. “You’ll be home with us by Christmas.” Possibly. Hopefully. If their rented house was fit for them to live in.

“Maybe you could ask Matthew if you can move in with him.” Ronni’s suggestion was met by a shocked face from Sian.

“I couldn’t do that!”

“Why not? You are just putting off the inevitable,” Ronni sounded too rational.

“It’s not inevitable. I’m not going to go along with this mating bond thing just because I’m supposed to. I have a life of my own. I have free will. I’m not simply going to roll over and do as I’m told.”

“Are you talking about Matthew or Peter?” Ronni asked.

“Both.” She held up the kitten and gazed at it. “I came to Bear Creek with the intention of never dating again. If things don’t work out, I’ll go back to that plan.”

“But you are going to give Matthew a chance?” Ronni asked with concern.

“Sure, he’s coming over for dinner tonight,” Sian smiled suddenly. “I should have told him to wear something warm.”

“I think he’s hot enough,” Ronni joked. “Anyway, he has bear shifter blood, he doesn’t feel the cold. Maybe he could stay over and warm your bed up for you.”

Sian giggled nervously. “You don’t think that’s what he’s expecting, do you?”

“Staying over?” Ronni asked. “No, I think he realizes he has to take it slow.”

“Good. Because I am not ready for anything more than dinner.” Sian put the kitten back with its brothers and sisters. “Let’s get the kennels cleaned out. I have to go to the store on the way home and figure out what I’m going to feed him.”

“Come on then. I need to get my chores done and then head over to my lawyer’s office.” An edge of nervousness tinged Ronni’s words.

“Today’s the day you buy the shelter.” Sian hugged Ronni. “It’ll be fine.”

“It’s going to take a few days to go through. But, yes, today is the day I sign the contracts. It’s been a long journey, but it finally feels as if it’s coming to an end.” Ronni hugged Sian tightly. “And your job is to keep that man of yours busy, so he doesn’t suddenly decide he wants to make trouble for the shelter. I’m not sure I’m willing to trust him a hundred percent yet.”

Sian pulled away from Ronni, wanting to reassure her. “I believe he has changed. I don’t think he’d go back on what he’s said.”

Ronni grinned at Sian. “So does this mean you are willing to give him a chance?”

“I suppose it must.” Sian didn’t sound certain and she didn’t feel certain, but who did when it came to love?

Unless you were a shifter, of course.