My voice cut off abruptly with a loud sneeze, and I waved away the cloud of dust hanging in front of my face. “Sorry about that,” I said to the old pig watching me from where she lay in the straw. “Shall I try the song again?”

“Please spare us the torture!”

I jumped, then saw my sister’s eyes peering between the wooden slats of the stall. “Josette!”

She oinked like a pig. “Save us from her caterwauling! She sounds worse than an angry tomcat.”

“I do not!”

“Do!” She shrieked with laughter and bolted out of the barn.

“I don’t,” I said to the pig, but she only emitted a world-weary sigh and began chewing absently on a cob of corn. Her brood squirmed around her stomach, each of them fighting for a choice spot. There was one in particular who bullied the rest, knocking his siblings around, and sending the runt toppling until I was sure he didn’t know up from down.

Setting aside my pitchfork, I picked up the big piglet, ignoring his squeals of protest. Turning him round so we were face to face, I fixed him with a dark look. “No one likes a bully.”

He shrieked in indignation, jerking his little form from side to side in an attempt to escape back to his gluttony. I focused intently on his pink face. “Sshhh.”

The pig went silent, dark eyes locked on mine with an almost eerie focus. It gave me the shivers, so I hugged him to my chest and watched as his tiny sibling found a spot and started suckling. My father would say it was wasted effort, but being on the runty side myself, I was sympathetic to the little pig’s plight. I hummed softly to the animals, not quite ready to invite my sister’s mockery with another song.

My ears caught the faint jingle of a harness and the stomp of hooves against dirt, the sounds making my stomach clench with excitement. She was here! With the piglet still in my arms, I ran to the barn door, eyes watering from the brightness as I peered down the lane.

“Cécile, put that pig back in its pen and get to work. Those stalls aren’t going to muck themselves.”

I stiffened, only just catching sight of my father before he led the plow horse around the corner to the fields. The uncharacteristic frown on his face rendered him almost unrecognizable, and he’d been short with everyone since the moment he came down for breakfast. Even though I didn’t entirely understand why, I wasn’t fool enough not to realize what had put a bee in his bonnet. Or, rather, who.

Returning the piglet to his mother, I retrieved my pitchfork and started work on another stall. I was barely halfway through when my fingers began to twitch, finding their way to my pocket to check for the crinkle of paper after each load I dumped into the wheelbarrow. When I couldn’t stand it any more, I leaned out to make sure my father wasn’t lurking around the corner, then pulled out the piece of parchment. The creases where it was folded were starting to become worn and fuzzy, and it was a bit stained from my grimy fingers.

Tucking my skirts around my legs, I sat on the floor of the barn and tilted the paper into a dust-filled beam of light, my eyes taking in the few lines. I traced over my mother’s familiar script with one finger, pausing on each of the words I recognized, including my name. I’d made my father read it over and over again until I’d memorized it, and then I’d pocketed the precious article before he could toss it in the fire. It was the only proof I had that my mother was coming to visit us. The fact that it was written on paper made her arrival a certainty rather than a childish hope.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I imagined her reading the words aloud, the sound of her melodic voice in my ear. Dimly, very dimly, I could remember her singing softly to me so that I would fall asleep, the soft touch of her dainty fingers against my hair, and the flowery scent of her perfume drifting across my bed. That had been when we lived in the city, when I was only a little child, and before my father had taken my brother, sister, and me back to Goshawk’s Hollow.

I hardly saw her after that, only an occasional visit here and there, which, rather than sating me, only made me hungry for more. Two years ago, my father had taken me to Trianon to see her perform. I couldn’t remember the name of the opera, or even what it had been about, but I could picture my mother standing on the stage, her crimson ringlets spilling over her elaborately costumed shoulders, clear as day. The opera house had been full to the brim, or at least it had seemed so to me, and yet the audience had been utterly silent and still, captivated by the sound of her voice. I’d never seen anything like it before or since. When the performance had ended, every single person stood, clapping, cheering, and tossing roses onto the stage, and I had never wanted anything as badly as to be her. Every night since I had dreamed of singing on that stage and curtseying at the end to the roaring accolades of the crowd.

The letter tore away from my fingertips, and my eyes snapped open in time to see my sister run out of the barn door, the paper clutched in her fist.

“Josette!” I shrieked, and tore after her.

We sprinted through the yard, boots splattering mud up against our skirts. I was older, but Joss was taller, and not even the anger flooding my veins was enough fuel to catch her. “Give it back!”

She only laughed, the sound filling me with a twisted combination of fury and fear. I needed that letter. I had to get it back. Illogical or not, I felt that if I lost the paper where her promise was so carefully inked, the promise would cease to exist at all.

The dogs ran after us, their barks adding to the cacophony. My father shouted from the distance, but whatever he said was drowned out by all the noise. Josette’s fist was crumpling my letter into a tighter ball with each step she took. At best, she’d hide it from me; at worst… My eyes burned with a frustration I could scarcely explain, my anxiety building like steam in a kettle until it exploded out of my throat. “Joss, stop!” The wind rose, catching the two words and rushing them through the yard. Everything went still.

The animals fell silent. The dogs stopped chasing. My sister’s legs ceased moving midstride, and she toppled onto the ground.

I stopped running, my chest heaving in and out as I stared at her still form. “Joss?” What had happened?

Very slowly, she turned her face to look at me, tears streaking her cheeks. “She isn’t coming, Cécile.” She scrambled to her feet and ran into the house.

Her words made my stomach clench, but I went after her, barely managing to cut her off before she made it to the stairs. Forced into the kitchen, she scurried over to the far side of the table.

“What do you girls think you’re doing?” Gran demanded, slamming down the bread dough she was kneading. “You’re tracking mud all over my clean floor, and both of you have chores to do.”

“Joss took my letter!” I shouted.

Gran hefted a wooden spoon. “Josette de Troyes, give your sister back her letter.”

Joss shook her head rapidly, her cheeks flushed red. Why was she doing this? She was going to ruin everything.

“Give it to me!” I demanded, holding out one hand. It was no wonder our mother never came to see us, why she never invited us into the city. Why would she want to? Why would she waste her time on two muddy, squabbling farm girls in the middle of nowhere when she could be dining nightly with Trianon’s finest? And why wouldn’t my idiot sister understand that if we ever wanted to see her, we had to be better?

“I won’t.” The vehemence of Joss’s voice startled me out of my silent rant. “Not until you promise to stop watching for her. To quit waiting for her. To quit wanting her in our lives!” Silence hung in the room as we stared each other down, it dawning on me for the first time that maybe my sister didn’t feel the same way about our mother as I did.

“Why?” I whispered. “Why would I want to forget my own mother? Why would you?”

Joss’s bottom lip trembled, and with one free hand, she wiped away the tear carving a track in the mud on her face. “Because she forgot about us.”

My stomach lurched, and my ears filled with a dull roar. Everything seemed far too bright, forcing me to suck in a deep breath to settle my nerves. “She didn’t forget,” I said, forcing the words out through numb lips. “The letter says she’s coming for my birthday. It’s written on the paper in your hands.” Not that she could read it any better than I could.

Joss’s shoulders shuddered. “Not any more it doesn’t.”

I gasped as she flung my letter into the fireplace. Shoving the table out of the way, I dived toward the flames, but it was too late. All I could do was watch the paper turn to ash, the sound of a wooden spoon cracking against Joss’s backside barely registering in my ears as Gran berated her for what she had done before sending her out to finish my chores.

A hot fat tear rolled down the side of my nose, and I scrubbed it away hard enough to make my cheek sting, the stench of pig on my fingers seeming worse than normal. My nails were cut down to the quick, but they still held dirt around the edges, and my palms were thick with callouses. The boots I’d inherited from my brother were crusted with mud, and I could smell farm and sweat rising from my dress. I didn’t feel like I was worth the effort of a trip across a field, much less the hours-long journey from the city.

Gran’s slippers brushed softly against the floor as she came around the table and sat next to me. Her thin arm wrapped around my shoulder, pulling me close. I resisted for a heartbeat, clinging to the remnants of my anger, but then I gave up and collapsed against her. “She isn’t coming, is she?” The words came out muffled from where my face pressed against her dress.

I felt rather than heard Gran sigh. “Oh, my sweet girl, there’s no telling what Genevieve will or won’t do. I gave up trying to understand that woman a long time ago.”

I stiffened. “She isn’t that woman, Gran. She’s my mother.”

She inhaled deeply, and I waited for her to launch into her usual tirade, but she stayed silent. Which was somehow worse. I’d always thought the warm feeling I got whenever Gran spoke out against my mother came from my righteous satisfaction at being able to defend her, but maybe that wasn’t it at all? Maybe what really fuelled the feeling was Gran’s assurance that it wasn’t our fault and that we deserved better. I bit my lip, wishing Gran would say Genevieve was a terrible mother, that she was selfish, that she wasn’t worthy of children like us.

But she said nothing at all; she wasn’t even looking at me. Her eyes were fixed on the fire, her normally smiling mouth turned ever so slightly down at the corners.

My heart began to beat harder in my chest, unease pricking at my skin. “It’s Joss’s fault.” I knew it wasn’t, but I hoped my accusation would provoke her into saying something. “She doesn’t even care.”

Gran met my gaze and sniffed disparagingly. “Is that what you think?” She shook her head slowly. “Your sister was barely more than a baby when you left Trianon. That city was never a home to her, and Genevieve has never been a mother to her. To your sister, that woman isn’t just a stranger, she’s a stranger who’s slowly pulling apart her family. She took back your brother, and now Joss is afraid she’ll take back you. And you’ve made it very clear to us that that is exactly what you want.”

I flinched, feeling the slow burn of shame rise on my cheeks, because I knew it was true. I did want to live with my mother in the city. How could I not? How much better a life would it be to live in her big home with new dresses, and servants, and no chores? And there was my most secret wish – the one I had never told anyone – that one day I too might be able to stand on stage and sing to adoring crowds. But now that dream seemed tarnished by selfishness, as though wanting to do something more than slop pigs and milk cows made me a bad sister, a bad granddaughter.

“I’d come back,” I whispered, as though the option of leaving had already been offered. “It isn’t as though you’d never see me again.”

“Like your brother has?” Gran raised one eyebrow. “Gone six months and we’ve not seen him once.”

I grimaced. Had it been so long since Frédéric had left?

“I know you think living in Trianon with your mother is the only way you’ll be happy. That it will be wonderful, like a dream where you can have everything your heart desires, but I think the reality will be much harder than you believe.” Gran’s eyes searched mine. “I also know that me telling you so is pointless. You’ve always had to find things out yourself, no matter how much the finding caused you grief.”

I looked away, uncertain whether her words should make me feel proud or foolish.

“But that’s enough of us sitting here on the floor.” Gran rose to her feet, hauling me to mine with surprising strength. “Today is your birthday, and whether Genevieve comes or not, we’ll still have cake. But I need time to make it.” She shooed me in the direction of the stairs. “Go wash up. Joss will do the rest of your chores so that you can have the afternoon to yourself.”

---

My free afternoon was only made better by the new dress waiting on my half of the bed that I shared with Joss. It was dark blue wool with yellow daisies embroidered along the collar and down the sleeves. But the best part of it was that the hem reached all the way to my ankles. Pulling it on, I twirled around, imagining how much older and taller I must appear, wishing, in perhaps a not-so-rare moment of vanity, that we owned a looking glass. Racing down the stairs, I skidded on stocking feet into the kitchen.

“Well, aren’t you a sight.” Gran dusted her hands off on her apron. “Go show your father.”

Joss was sitting on the front stoop putting a final coat of polish on my boots. She looked over her shoulder when the door shut, her eyes still red from crying. She handed me the boots and I sat down next to her to put them on.

“I’m sorry ’bout your letter. Gran said I deserved to be fed to the trolls for doing it,” she said, wiping her fingers on her skirts. “I just…”

“I know,” I said quickly so that she didn’t have to explain. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her tight, pressing my cheek against her blonde hair. “Where’s Papa?”

“’Round the barn with the Girards.” Josette gave me a sly smile. “You should know, Papa gave me your pony.”

“What?” I demanded, pulling away. “Why would he do that?”

Joss’s grin widened and she grabbed my hand. “Come on.”

Together, we ran across the yard toward the barn. I kept my skirts hauled up with one hand, leaping over the puddles so my boots would stay clean. Going around the side of the old wooden building, we found our father leaning against the fence next to Jérôme Girard. His son Christophe stood a few paces away holding the lead of a beautiful bay mare.

“Thank you for the dress, Papa,” I shouted, twirling in a circle. When I stopped, I noticed he had a strange expression on his face – not one I’d ever seen before.

Jérôme took the piece of straw he was chewing out of his mouth. “Spittin’ image of Genevieve. Won’t be long until you have more help around the farm than you know what to do with.”

I smiled, pleased at the comparison, but my father only grunted. Then he cleared his throat. “You ain’t grown much taller this past year, but it’s still past time you had a proper horse. This mare here’s for you.”

Shrieking, I grabbed Joss’s hands and we spun in a circle. I threw myself at my father, wrapping my arms around him. “Thank you!”

He patted me on the shoulder. “You’re a good girl, Cécile, even if you are a fair bit louder than a proper girl should be. Now git off me, you’re going to get your new trappings dirty.”

My face hurt, but I couldn’t stop smiling. I hugged Jérôme, then went over to where Chris stood with the horse. He was friends with my brother, but I’d barely seen him since Fred left for Trianon.

“She’s beautiful,” I said, stroking the horse’s shoulder. “What’s her name?”

“Oh. Well, we call her Cécile’s filly.” He scraped one of his boots across the ground and switched the lead from hand to hand. “I suppose that means you have the naming of her.”

I held out a hand and the horse snuffled at my palm, looking for treats. “I’ll call her Fleur.”

“A good name for her, I reckon.” Chris broke off his determined inspection of the ground to meet my gaze for a brief moment. “She’s only just broke, but you can sit on her, if you want.”

“I do want to. Will you give me a leg up?”

Taking hold of my knee, he lifted me onto her shiny back. She frisked around for a bit before settling under Chris’s calm hand. He led us out into the yard, and I admired her smooth rolling stride. From up on her back, I could see all around, out past our sprawling farmhouse and barn and into the fields to the forests that carpeted the range, with the exception of the massive sheared-off face of Forsaken Mountain, its fallen half a broken slide of rocks between the range and the ocean shore. Beyond it lay Trianon, the largest city on the Isle, and the center of all my dreams.

“You like her?”

Chris’s question tore me out of my thoughts, and I forced a smile onto my face to match those of everyone looking on. “She’s wonderful.”

Why could I not be content? I had a good home, a loving family, and everything a country girl could possibly want. But logical or not, my mind still burned with the desire to stand on stage and sing. Almost against my will, my head turned, eyes searching the road disappearing into the trees with the hope I might see a carriage coming toward us. But it was empty.

“Well, we’d best be getting back,” Jérôme said. “Horses won’t feed themselves.”

I reluctantly slid off Fleur’s back, wishing she were wearing a bridle so that I might gallop off wherever my heart took me.

“I’ll bring her back when she’s ready,” Chris promised, patting the horse on the neck. “I’ll get her trained up good for you. Then I’ll take you riding.”

I smiled and nodded, saying all the things I should, but my mind was wrapped up in irritation with itself. Why couldn’t I be satisfied with what I had? Why did I want more when I knew that leaving would hurt those I loved?

The Girards said their goodbyes, and I silently watched them trot up the road on their horses, Fleur trailing along behind.

“What do you have planned for the rest of your afternoon?” my father asked. “Your sister said she’s doing the rest of your chores as a birthday gift.”

I smirked at Joss’s white lie, but didn’t out her. She was chasing my pony around the field in a fruitless attempt to catch him, so I suspected a lot of my chores would be waiting for me the following day. But my amusement didn’t last. I considered the options available to me, including stealing my pony back and riding to town to visit my best friend Sabine, trekking up to the pond to see if I could catch a trout, or sneaking over to the outskirts of the rockslide to see if I could find a glint of gold. On any other day, all three would be appealing, but I was reluctant to undertake anything that would take me away from the farm. What if she came while I was gone? What if she left because I wasn’t waiting?

My father raised one eyebrow. “Well?”

“Things,” I replied, hoping my tone suggested I had something better in mind than waiting in the ditch until dusk. Holding up my new long skirts, I started down the road.

“Cécile!”

I turned to look over my shoulder at him.

“She don’t wake much before noon. Will be a few more hours yet before you can expect her.”

---

I wandered through the forest, always making certain the road was within sight. There was only one way she could pass, and I wasn’t willing to risk missing a moment of her visit. Anticipation kept me moving, and I danced through the trees, singing random notes and attempting to imitate the birds flying overhead. My voice echoed through the woods, and closing my eyes, I imagined how it would sound in a theatre, what it would be like knowing the right songs to sing. What it would feel like having an audience listening.

Finding a patch of springy moss, I lay down, watching the clouds pass over the treetops through lids that grew heavier as the sun passed over the sky.

I don’t know how long I slept before the sound of cantering hooves and jingling harness startled me awake. Scrambling to my feet, I tore toward the road, heedless of the branches clutching at my hair and dress. Through the trees, flashes of grey and brown were visible, the carriage moving much faster than was advisable on the rough dirt track. I stumbled out onto the road just after the horses passed, and the coachman gave me an angry glare though none of the animals had spooked.

“Wait,” I called out.

But the carriage kept moving. I stood stock-still in the center of the road, certain they would stop. Certain that my mother had seen me or sensed my presence, and that the door would open, one slender hand emerging to beckon me inside. But the horses plowed onward, slowly disappearing into the distance.

“You been waiting in the bushes all day, im-be-Cécile? Good thing I got here before dark, or the trolls might have snatched you up for dinner. Not that you’d make much of a meal.”

I turned round to glare up at my older brother, who sat slouched in his saddle. “Hardly. I spent the morning doing your chores.”

“Aren’t my chores anymore.”

Fred dropped a stirrup for me and I swung up behind him, cursing my long skirts when they caught. “Bloody stones and sky.”

“Gran will wash your mouth out twice with soap if she hears you talking that way,” Fred said, starting down the road at a slow walk.

“You going to tell?” I asked, although I wasn’t really paying attention. The carriage was already out of sight. I dug my heels into the horse’s side, trying to urge it faster, but Fred checked the reins. The animal sidestepped, ears pinned back, so I left off the effort.

“Nah,” Fred replied. “She’d probably say you’d learnt it from me and wash mine out for good measure.”

“Probably.” I leaned around him, considering whether I’d be better off hopping down and running on my own two feet. “Could we go a little faster?”

“Ain’t I good enough company?” Fred turned around and grinned at me. He’d gotten taller in the intervening months, although no wider. Holding onto him was like holding onto a broomstick.

“Clearly we’re the ones who aren’t good enough company,” I retorted. “You haven’t been back once.”

The smile slid from his face and he turned back around. “It’s hard to get leave.” His voice was dark, the tone indicating to me that there was more to the story than just an overbearing commander.

“Maybe they think you’re coddled enough without time off, living with your mother and all,” I teased.

“I don’t live with her!”

I flinched, startled by the venom in his voice. “But I thought…”

“Well, you thought wrong. I live in the barracks now, and frankly, I’d rather sleep on the streets of Pigalle than spend another night under the same roof as her.”

My chest tightened and a million questions demanding answers sprang to my mind. But before I could say a word, Fred laid the reins to his horse’s shoulders and we were galloping full tilt down the road. I almost toppled off the back, but it wasn’t the first time he’d pulled such a stunt on me so I’d unconsciously been holding on. And anyway, I was far more concerned with the anger he’d directed at our mother than with the prospect of falling off a horse. What had she done?

As we tore down the lane toward the farm, I leaned around him to get a better look at the carriage. It was stopped. The coachman had secured the reins and was climbing off so he could open the door. My father stood a few paces away from the carriage, shoulders managing to be slumped and tense all at the same time.

Fred pulled his horse to a sliding stop, spraying mud everywhere and earning a frown from our father. I jumped off before he could push me off, and barely managed to smooth down my skirts over my woolen stockings before she stepped out of the carriage.

She didn’t look old enough to be my mother. Her skin was pale and smooth against the dark purple velvet of her gown, blue eyes startlingly bright even from paces away. Before the sun had a chance to even kiss her skin, she snapped open a black satin and lace parasol, holding it above her head as she brushed her hair back over her shoulder. With one hand, she lifted up her skirts, revealing high-heeled brocade shoes that were slowly sinking into the mud.

My father took a few steps toward her, then paused, seeming uncertain of whether she wanted assistance or not. “It’s good to see you, Genny.”

“I’ve told you not to call me that.” Like my own voice, hers carried well on the air, and I grimaced at her rejection of my father’s familiarity. Seeing them in close proximity, it seemed barely possible they could be acquaintances, much less a pair married fifteen years. My father, the dirty, weatherworn farmer, and my mother, the sparkling opera star. A more incongruous pair I’d never seen. Time changed people, but either one or both of them must have been completely different when they first met. What had they been like, I wondered, and what had made them change?

“Papa, where’s Joss?”

Fred’s voice startled me, but my mother’s frowning inspection of her shoes didn’t waver.

“In the barn brushing the pony, I reckon.”

“I’ll go get her,” Fred said. “You do want to see Josette, don’t you, Genevieve?” I looked up, surprised to hear him call her so.

“I’m sure I’ll see her at some point,” she replied, either used to him calling her by name, or not caring that he did. And clearly not caring whether my little sister made an appearance or not. Given everything that had happened today, a dull burn of anger seared through my guts at her casual dismissal of Josette. I snapped my face around, ready to put her in her place, but the full force of my mother’s gaze stopped the words in my throat.

“My sweet little bird.” She tilted her face slightly to the side, lips blossoming into a smile. “I’ve missed you dreadfully.”

It was absolutely the most perfect thing she could have said to me. My anger disappeared as though it had never existed, and I started toward her, arms outstretched. But she didn’t mirror the motion, and I ground to a halt. Awkwardly, I lowered my arms and took a step back, aware that both my brother and father were looking anywhere but at us. “I’m going to find Joss,” Fred muttered, dragging his horse toward the barn.

Of course hugging her would be inappropriate. It was far too familiar. And while I might have started the afternoon off clean, Fred’s horse had left sweat stains on my dress and out of the corner of my eye I could see a twig stuck in my curls. “I missed you too, Mama.”

Her smile brightened, and with one hand, she reached out to cup my cheek. “My sweet little Cécile.” Her fingers were soft and smelled of flowers. “Come, come. Let us go inside before the sun puts any more freckles on your face. We’ve much to discuss.”

She took my arm, and I slowly helped her across the yard toward the house, wondering the entire time why she had worn such impractical footwear. No amount of scrubbing would get the mud out of the brocade. I steered her around the puddles, taking small steps so that I wouldn’t splash water onto her skirts, but she didn’t seem to care that she was wrecking her fine things.

“How was the journey, Mama?” I asked, helping her onto the steps.

“Dreadful, as always,” she replied, waiting for me to open the door for her. She didn’t bother to knock the worst of the grime off her feet before going inside, and I winced as she tracked mud across the wooden floor.

Neither she nor Gran acknowledged each other, but that wasn’t anything new. I pulled out a seat for my mother, and only quick action on my part got it back underneath her in time as she sat without looking. Hurrying to the fire, I poured steaming water from the kettle into the teapot, placing the chipped tea service with fresh cream and honey on the table in front of her. I could feel both their eyes on me as I sliced a few thick pieces of the fresh loaf Gran had baked, smeared them with butter I’d churned myself, and put them on the table with the tea. Then I cautiously sat down on the chair between them, careful to cross my ankles properly rather than pulling them up underneath me as was my habit.

My mother poured the tea for both of us, adding a generous amount of honey to both cups. I didn’t like mine sweet, but I was afraid to argue.

She took a small sip of the steaming liquid, eyes fixed on me. What important things did she want to talk about? Had something happened? How did it involve me? A thousand questions leapt through my head, but underneath my curiosity, hope was growing.

“Sing.”

The demand managed to be expected and surprising at the same time. Tea slopped out of my cup onto my hand, and I had to bite my lip to keep from yelping at the pain. I’d imagined this situation more times than I could count, but now that it was upon me, I had no idea what to do. In my imagination, I’d always known the perfect song to sing, but in reality, I’d never learned anything beyond what we sang at festivals. I cast an imploring look in Gran’s direction, but she only rested her chin on crossed fingers. She wouldn’t help me in this.

Sucking in a deep breath, I leapt into the song everyone always asked me to sing at dances. It was enthusiastic and joyful, but I barely made it through the first few lines before my mother flung up a hand, choking me off. “Stop. Please stop.” Her brow was creased with a scowl, her eyes cold as the winter sky. “Any talentless wretch could manage that.”

“I don’t know any others,” I whispered, feeling a tremble in my voice. Do not cry, I screamed at myself. Don’t you dare cry.

“Why am I not surprised.” She sipped a mouthful of tea. “Cécile, you will repeat after me.”

She sang a few lines, her voice lovelier than I’d remembered. “Now you.”

I imitated her, hesitantly at first, but then with more confidence. She’d sing, and I’d repeat, trilling like a songbird mimicking a flute. My father walked in during the middle of it, the smile on his face sad and proud at the same time. I beamed at him while I stretched my voice to match the higher and higher notes my mother sang, meeting each and every one of them. It was the most exquisitely wonderful moment of my life.

She stopped singing as abruptly as she’d begun. Taking a mouthful of tea, my mother smiled. “Well done, Cécile. Well done.” Then she turned to my father. “I’ll take her when she’s seventeen.”

“No!” My father looked as surprised as anyone that he’d spoken. “No,” he repeated, more quietly this time. “You ain’t taking her, Genevieve. I need her here. And besides, this here is her home.”

“She’s wasted here!” There was heat in my mother’s voice.

My father opened his mouth, looking ready to argue, but she jerked a hand up, cutting him off. “She’s strong, clever, and once she’s grown out of this awkward stage, she’ll be fair enough. And her voice is divine.” Her eyes gleamed. “She’s wasted out here in the country where no one would know talent if it kicked them in the face. I’ll arrange for tutors to come out to Goshawk’s Hollow to teach her – I’ll not have her arriving with the manners of a milk cow.”

“She knows plenty,” my father retorted. “More than most her age. She can keep house and farm, work the land, and hunt for game. She’ll make a good wife.”

“As if that’s all she’s good for,” my mother spat, rising to her feet. “Why should she limit herself to becoming a farmer’s wife when she can be so much more?”

My father went pale. “There was a time you thought becoming a farmer’s wife was a mighty fine thing.”

“And look how well that turned out!”

“Enough, both of you!” Gran’s voice filled the kitchen, drowning them both out. “This is Cécile’s decision.”

The tips of my fingers tingled as I looked from her, to my father, and then to my mother. I was equal parts astonished and terrified to hold my future in my own hands. My mother was offering me everything that I had ever dreamt about on a silver platter, but at what cost? My departure would not only leave my father short-handed on the farm and burden my grandmother with more chores, it would hurt them. Joss, too. I’d be doing exactly what she feared I would – leaving her. They’d think I was choosing my mother over them, when that wasn’t it at all.

No, a dark little voice whispered inside my head, you’ll be choosing your own selfish desires over the good of your family.

“It won’t be only music you learn,” my mother said softly. “You’ll learn to read. You’ll have a proper education.”

I could hear the persuasion in her voice, but it was entirely unnecessary. I already wanted those things – that wasn’t the problem. “The pigs need me,” I said, my voice sounding tight in my own ears because it wasn’t really the pigs I was talking about.

Nobody said anything for a long time.

“Don’t make this decision about the pigs,” Gran finally said, and I knew she wasn’t talking about the animals either. She was all but telling me to follow my heart, to do whatever it was that I wanted to do. If only I could be certain what my heart really desired. I wanted to go to Trianon. I wanted to be with my family. But I couldn’t have both.

Choose.

I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Papa,” I whispered. “But I have to know what it’s like.”

His face tightened, but it seemed like he’d known what my choice would be even before I did. “I’ll make arrangements for the folks you send to stay at the inn,” he said to my mother. Then without another word, he turned around and left. Gran rose and went after him.

As soon as they were gone, my mother flung her arms around me, squeezing so tight my ribs creaked. Then she kissed me on both cheeks. “You made the right decision, darling. I knew you would.” She unclasped a golden pendant from her neck and fastened it around mine. Leaning down, she whispered in my ear, “Beauty can be created, knowledge learned, but talent can neither be purchased nor taught. And you’ve talent, my dearest girl. When you stand on stage and sing, the whole world will love you.”

Her words repeated over and over again in my head as I watched her pull back and away from me. “I cannot linger here, my love; I’m needed in Trianon tonight.” A soft laugh erupted from her throat. “I wish I could take you with me now, but it’s better if we wait. You need to be ready so that everything will be perfect.”

I watched her retreat to her carriage, my mind whirling with elation, fear, and excitement. I had four years to practice. Four years to learn. Four years to prepare.

And when I turned seventeen, I’d be ready to take on all the world had to offer.