CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
THE WHITE DULLED and darkness cleared away, revealing my location; Calind’s office at the vineyard. It was quieter than it had ever been. My surroundings looked as though the contrast filter was low and the depth of field feature was set to high.
“Apologies for pulling you out of your dream. I had hoped it would ease the transformation. I discounted Calind’s increasing power over you. Once a welcome asset, it became troublesome, specifically when he decided to erase your memory.”
A woman stood behind the desk and by a window I didn’t recall being in Calind’s office, overlooking an ocean view similar to the one seen from the upstairs window of my father’s Carlsbad estate. Dressed in a leather bodycon dress, the woman’s back remained toward me as she gazed out the window.
“I loathe the house, yet love the view. The vineyard held a special place in my heart.” Her voice hadn’t rung familiar bells.
I checked the mirror on the far wall. I haven’t looked this good since before I became sick. “Is this heaven?”
She threw her head back, sending her long sister locs to spread across her back, and laughed. “Oh, my little darling, we are far from heaven.”
“Why’s that so funny? I don’t deserve to be in purgatory or hell.”
Her head slanted. “Because you’ve killed no one? Forced by my hand or not, you have killed many.”
A stream of images flooded my brain, filling my head with the horrific death scenes of June, Kay, my father, and many others I couldn’t name. Finally, my mother’s death played inside my head. The shroud disappeared, revealing the identity of the person who murdered her: me. It was one of many of the visions that didn’t make sense.
“That didn’t happen. It’s not even possible. I don’t remember it, and why would I kill Claudette? It doesn’t make any sense.”
Like a switch, my memories melded with the present. The knots were untangled, revealing everything. The woman I was looking at was my mother, a replica of me, only fifteen or twenty years older.
I noticed her hands first, knobby knuckles and slender fingers. She turned around, appearing as beautiful as I remembered her, only her features were even more similar to mine.
“Un-fucking-real.”
“My little darling, it was all real.” She turned to the window. “I admit, I embellished the truth when I manipulated your past and present. Only a little.” She pinched her fingers together. “Prior to the events directing you to this spot, I had to make you believe I was a nonpareil mother. You won’t begrudge my indulgences, will you?
“The little visions I implanted inside your head by way of my blood, given to you at my order by Calind? False. You killed me because Raymond used you to betray me, knowing only you could be the one to end me. He failed to realize that killing me initiated what will happen soon. He further failed to realize that controlling you wouldn’t kill the piece of me inside of you. It spread. It’s nearly consumed you, and it won’t stop until it has complete possession of your body.”
She held her hand up, signaling me to stand by her. “The truth of our past? Our touching mother and daughter moments never happened. You spent most of your life in a lab, Regan. What you thought was your life during your adolescent years was actually a manipulated series of dreams.”
“Raymond… He told me the same thing.” I moved to stand at her side. “Well, at least you both have some of your stories straight.” The scenery at the window faded, giving way to the view of my hospital room. Calind was at a near standstill as he moved toward my bed.
“We have little time before Calind does what I know he will do. I’d prefer we perform the transfer amicably.”
My head was on tilt-a-whirl. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Try to keep up, my little darling.” She gestured around our immediate area. “I constructed this scene as a simple courtesy. For many of the insignificant individuals who came to Executive Suites, what you witnessed at your deathbed was their reality. It is not, however, yours. Here.”
She waved her hand over the window, causing the scene to fade into yet another. I was inside one of Calind’s homes, in his bed while he remained at my side. I was a corpse, long dead, not breathing or moving.
She pressed a smile into her blood red lips that went perfectly with her flawless dark brown skin. “Tell me, child, if you could have the life you thought was a dream, or die within the next five minutes, never knowing Calind’s touch again, which would you choose?”
“The dream.”
Her lips spread into a smile. “How sweet. You’re in love with him. I almost envy it. Love’s not something I could ever experience. Perhaps it’s why your father continuously tried to betray me—out of his love for me. You and I made sure he didn’t get his way.” She winked at me.
I rounded the desk and settled into a chair. “Wait. My brain’s a little slow, thanks to the whole dying thing. Can you dumb it down a little?”
“I could offer excuses and lies to nurture you. None of them would make you feel better, nor would they be true. Regardless, you’ll hold on to your false life.
“I allowed you freedom when you were sixteen. It was the first time you were released from your home in the subbasement level of Hawkins Pharmaceuticals while under our care.”
Her words removed what was false to uncover what was real. The trips I took with my father were trips to other medical labs; visits from my father and my mother were all made in what looked to be a high tech hospital. The homeschooling, and lack of friends… All of it fit into her narrative. Only the scenery had changed.
My life was an utter lie, and now it was gone.
“You can pretend you’re a cold-hearted bitch, but I know you care.” I scanned around the room for any signs of a cigarette. I needed one, badly. “Because…why else do this?” I gestured around the room. “Why release me at all when I was teenager? Why not keep me inside your prison until you were ready to do whatever you wanted to do?”
Her permanent grin faded. “There was a strategy to placing you within Barcel’s ranks. I’m not your mother. I helped create you, yes, but I didn’t give birth to you. Tell me, do you have feelings for your shoes? Your clothes? Your car?”
“The difference is that I’m not an object,” I retorted. “I’m a fucking person, whether or not you see me as one.”
“A person?” She chuckled. “Is that what you think you were? You have no mother or father. You were an expensive, bioengineered tailored suit. Nothing more. You have no life or future. Your body will always belong to me—to inhabit, own, and control. Your purpose is to ensure no one can readily steal the life I very much deserve from me.”
She brushed her hand across my cheek. “A piece of me has been inside of you since the day you were born, controlling you when necessary, directing you when I needed, leading you to this very point. When I died my entire being flooded your insides, preparing you for this moment. It’s too late for you now. You’re already dead. You can’t deny the inevitable.”
“When we share blood, we exert control over the weaker being. The weaker the spirit, the stronger the power to control. You were made from Calind, and your body is a clone of my own. I could’ve made you solely from me, but your strength can’t rival mine. You only need to rival the strongest being remaining—Calind.”
I recalled what Emile said about a parasite living inside of me. I remembered the seizures, where the world moved without me, and Calind’s mood changed.
If I bought her story, Claudette and who I thought was my father were battling for power over me to kill Calind, for whatever reason. I didn’t understand her motivation behind some of the things she did. “Why are you changing people? Making human Vorarei—monsters?”
“It’s a part of what you are. Are you a monster, as well? Most humans feed on dead animals, what makes us different? Our thoughts and speech patterns? Humans are animals, like any other. What we will become together? The strength, the telepathy, the emotional and physical control of everyone we encounter? Together, we will transcend all.”
“There is no ‘we’ in this situation,” I reminded her. “We aren’t doing anything, because I won’t let you do whatever the hell it is you think you will do. I’ll find a way to fuck up your plans.”
“You believe you’re strong enough to defy me? Even if you were, you would give anything to live out the rest of your life with the man you love.” She pointed to my head. “The love you have for him makes you weak. Submissive. Accessible.”
“I don’t have to be strong. I’m dead. You can’t possess me when I’m dead.”
“Cretin,” she snarled. “I built an empire with my gifts. Gifts to manipulate people and build on their backs. They can be controlled and willed to do anything for me. Your father tried and failed to counter me and others made in my image. He himself had been turned by Calind after you and I murdered him, erroneously assuming he could place his horse in this fight. He wasn’t strong enough, and now he’s gone. No one can and will stop me. And you? You are nothing.”
“You still haven’t answered why you’ve spread the disease—virus—whatever to people.”
“Because an army of a few with the strength of a million is better than an army of a million.”
“So this is basically some ‘I want to rule the world’ scenario? Does Calind know this, or does he keep his head down, letting you do whatever you want because he thinks you saved him? I don’t believe you’re the kind of woman who would wait for permission before you did something.”
“You’re correct. I don’t need your permission. This world I created was a simple courtesy for you, since you think of me as your mother. I will take over your body completely, without your consent. You were made for my own purposes.” She glanced back at the window. “Calind has allowed this because he thinks if he performs the blood exchange, it will silence me. He doesn’t know the exchange will only strengthen me.”
Still in a slow crawl, Calind’s teeth were drawn down, ready to rip through the flesh of my neck and do what I assumed was the first part of the blood exchange. “Then I’ll stop him.”
“If you are having thoughts to warn Calind, he can’t sense you while you’re with me. I’m making sure of it. And you also won’t be able to stop what will happen to you. Haven’t you comprehended any of this yet, Regan? He’s allowing this to happen because he believes it is the only way to save you. How can a man live so many centuries, and yet be so gullible? I suppose its part of his charm.”
I turned to head out of the office door, but it was no longer open. When I walked over and attempted the handle, it didn’t budge.
Her hand covered mine, holding my wrist. “What good is an empire with an army of weaklings? Together with Calind, I built a foundation to recruit the wealthy on their deathbeds. Calind had less sinister reasons to be involved.
“Though I’m building a stronger army, I want more. I need more. I found a brilliant mind who gave me what I wanted. A powerful body who once turned will rival Calind.”
“If you hate Calind so much, why let him live or be anywhere near me?” I asked.
“Initially, I wanted Calind far away from you until it was time for him to turn you. After a while, I realized having him fall for you was strategic. He will never attempt to stop or harm the woman wearing the body of his beloved.” Her hold on my wrist firmed and made the burn so excruciating, I winced. My barely there strength and her super powers were a match made in hell.
“I know how you implanted yourself inside of me. I didn’t get it before, but I do now.” I touched the back of my neck. “Digital immortality. My father—the person who I thought was my father—told me it was a tracker. It’s not. It’s actually you in a little microchip, tied to my brain.”
Her laughter was akin that of a bully who meant to make her prey feel tiny. “Oh, Regan. You and Raymond had the same foolish notion. It would never be that simple. He discovered he was wrong with the little show you and I put together at his home.
“Did Calind tell you a story about how we met?” she asked, fingering a strand of my hair as though she was considering how she’d style it.
“No. He never said much of shit about you. Guess you’re not as important as you think you are to him.”
She grunted in annoyance. “After what I’ve shown you, I have the distinct impression you don’t have the slightest idea of what I am. Do you?” Her eyes changed, transforming into a pilot light that grew with every second. It spread to her arms, burning my flesh. “How do you think I’m able to do this? To best and manipulate Calind? Do you think it was pure luck?”
She leaned forward and angled my head upward to stare into her creepy eyes. “Do you know what you’re looking at? The world’s original sorceress, my little darling. I was a queen of Kush who bested even the most talented of military generals. I never received my due in the history books, but look me up. I’m infamous. I am the pure Vorarei many have clamored to tell you stories of, not Calind.”
“No.” I shook my head. “That can’t be true. The things I’ve seen him do? He’s indomitable.”
“Contemplate on this. How is it I could control Calind and you the way I have been? This?” She waved her arms around her, signaling to the room that was now glitching and fading into darkness. “Power. Pure, unadulterated power. I altered Calind’s origins and I altered yours, as well. He believed what I wanted him to believe. He was an urchin when I met him, admiring an icon. And when he became of use, I gave him my gift.”
With her lips planted on my cheek, she whispered, “You have no hope of stopping what is to come. You never did.”
I WAS RETURNED to my decrepit body. The walls inside the false dream of an Executive Suites hospice room shattered, revealing what was true—the vision Claudette showed me. Unable to speak or make a sound, I called Calind’s name in my head, screaming No, don’t do this, but he didn’t appear to hear me.
Maybe he didn’t want to.
His lips were at my neck, his teeth scraped against my skin. “What I do now will tie us together until the end of our days. We have a bond so strong, no one can break it. No one. I hope you can understand why I can’t allow you to leave me, and I hope you can eventually forgive me. You can’t ask me to let you go. I’m incapable.
“Time with you will always fall short of enough. It’s never enough. I need you, Regan.” He cupped my stiff hand, bringing it to his heart. The vibration of the beat slowed until it stopped. Gray veins popped against his skin, covering every exposed piece. “No one else will ever have you. Not death, and not Claudette.”
I wanted to scream, but I was too far gone. My eyes were glued open and unblinking.
Calind’s grip on my body tightened as the piercing pain pervaded my neck. My head flopped to the side, allowing him full access.
He tore through his wrists with his teeth and pried my mouth open. Salty and thick, his blood flowed into my mouth, coating my throat. “After centuries of abject loneliness, I find you. How can you expect me to allow death to separate us? There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you, except one thing: I won’t allow you to die.”