Zoey could actually see the path in the grass that she’d worn down from all her pacing. Michael had left her hours ago to go looking for Rafe. She’d tried to go with him but he’d ordered her to stay put.

Ordered!

Michael had given her an order and as her Alpha, she had to follow it. Which pissed her off to no end. Whenever he showed his stupid, arrogant, bossy ass back up she was going to give him a piece of her mind. She’d been his best friend far longer than she’d been a member of his pack.

And Rafe was her mate. Hers. Sure he was Michael’s brother but mate trumped brother.

She rubbed her hands up and down her arms as she paced. She should be out there. Looking for Rafe. Tracking him down. Finding her mate and making sure he was okay so that she could rip him apart herself for going off alone during an attack.

Jesus, Zoey swallowed hard around the knot in her throat.

They’d been attacked. Another pack had come onto Moirae land and injured members of the pack. They’d gone after Michael. Taken him down. Tried to take him out. It had been a measured and deliberate act of violence. They’d wanted to kill Michael. They could have. And even though he was out there in the woods, walking around, a new scar on his arm and only a few bruises to show thanks to his superhuman genes, she couldn’t shake the thought of how close she’d come to losing him.

How close she’d come to losing them both.

She loved them. Both of them. She loved Michael as her best friend, as the brother she’d sworn she never would. She loved him with the pure, undiluted innocence of the girl she’d been. And she loved Rafe as her mate and her lover, her fate and her destiny. She loved him with her whole heart and soul, her entire being and two sides of her self. She loved them and she’d almost lost them.

Her wolf whined and clawed at her insides. She didn’t want to think about that. She wanted to be out there, in the woods, on their scent. She wanted to find the wolves that had attacked her family and rip them to shreds. And she only consoled herself that she would, once she knew her men were safe.

“Zoey, why don’t you…”

She whirled at the sound of her name and hissed, “So help me Darius if you tell me I should go inside and relax I’m going to claw your eyes out.”

The Enforcer didn’t even flinch from his position on the steps of the lodge where he’d been standing the entire time she paced. His lips turned down at the corners even more than usual, something she hadn’t known was possible. He always looked annoyed and disapproving but this time she didn’t take it personally.

Darius had been as pissed as she was when Michael told him to stay like a good little lapdog too. He wasn’t the type to openly argue with his Pack Alpha which was why the fact that he’d questioned the logic of Michael going out alone after an attack had been brow raising. Michael had said he would be fine and for Darius to stay with Zoey and the others in the pack who were still recovering from their injuries. Darius hadn’t once gone inside to check on the others. He’d stayed on the porch and intermittently watched the woods and watched her pace and each time he’d opened his stupid mouth it had been to tell her she should go inside and get some rest.

On a normal day, she wanted to smack him for being a condescending, arrogant ass. Today? She really wanted to unleash her new claws on his stone-cold face.

When he remained silent she sniffed and went back to pacing. She was surrounded by stupid, know-it-all men that thought they could tell her what to do. Well screw that. Michael was getting a serious talking to when he got back and so was Rafe. Darius wasn’t the real source of her outrage anyway. He might think a woman’s place was to stand silent and sweetly behind her male but that wasn’t Zoey. It never had been and she wasn’t about to start now when she finally had the power of a wolf inside of her. She could and would defend herself and her mate if need be. She wouldn’t be left behind again.

When Rafe came back she was going to…

“Rafe.” Her head jerked up as every single one of her senses began to tingle. Her wolf clawed at her again, wanting out, but she shook off the urge to shift. He was close and her eyes darted over the tree line, looking, looking… “Rafe.”

She was running before his name ever left her lips. Her brain had only barely registered his presence as he stepped from between the trees. His hair was disheveled and his five o’clock shadow had turned into a beard. His chest was bare and there were thin red lines that looked like healing scratches. The jeans he wore hung low on his hips and he was barefoot.

He’d never looked better to her.

“Rafe.” She flew into his arms and he caught her with a grunt. His big arms went around her, squeezing her tight and holding her close. He dipped his head, nuzzling against her hair and she clung to him with every fiber of her being, “Oh God, I thought…”

“I’m sorry.” Rafe murmured softly, “I’m so sorry, baby.”

Zoey held onto him for a moment longer. She let her wolf nuzzle up against her skin to get close to him. She felt his wolf do the same. Their breathing synched and they clung to each other. Her nerves began to settle now that he was here. He was safe and he was in one piece. He wasn’t hurt.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again!” She shoved out of his arms and stumbled when she broke free.

Rafe winced and his eyes lowered, “I’m sorry.”

“Not good enough.”

“I, uh… I’ll leave you two alone.” Michael cleared his throat and when she glanced at him, realizing he was at Rafe’s side for the first time he smiled softly, “Hear him out, Zo.”

“Oh, he’s not the only one I’m angry at.” She glared at her best friend, “I get you’re more than my best friend now. You’re my Alpha and that means you’re in charge. But you can’t order me to let my mate go ever again. Do you hear me, Michael? It’s not fair.”

“Being a wolf isn’t always fair, Zo. But you know I’m only ever looking out for you, it’s all I’ve ever done.”

“I know that.” She conceded.

“I was just trying to…”

“Finish that sentence with protect me and I might actually hit you, Alpha or not.”

Michael snorted at her idle threat and gave his older brother a big pat on the shoulder, “She’s all yours now, bro. Good luck.”

She glared at her oldest friend in the world as he smirked and walked away. She stuck her tongue out at him behind his back and even though he couldn’t see it, Darius could. To her utter amazement, she thought she saw a flicker of a smile cross the Enforcer’s face before he too lowered his gaze. She turned back to her mate, the true source of her irritation, and he was smart enough not to be smiling.

She studied him for a moment and some of her anger lost its steam. Yes, he was here and he seemed unhurt but he wasn’t okay. His eyes were dark and haunted and her heart ached. All she wanted was to hug him close and never let him go again but she knew she couldn’t cuddle this problem away.

“We need to talk.”

“Actually,” Rafe glanced up from beneath his dark lashes, “I need to talk, to you. Could you maybe just… hear me out?”

“I’m waiting.” She nodded.

Rafe shifted from one foot to another. He twisted his hands together and then dropped them to his sides. When he glanced back up at her, he looked absolutely stricken and it took her a moment to realize what the emotion on his handsome face was.

Guilt.

“Rafe?”

“I uh… there’s something I need to tell you.” Rafe took a deep breath and didn’t meet her eyes when he spoke again, “Last night, when I turned with you… Zo. Baby. That was the first time I’ve fully turned since I lost Gabe and my parents.”

Zoey sucked in a gulp of air as his admission hit her right in the gut. It had been… years and years. Months and months of full moons and Rafe was a full-blooded, born Alpha wolf. Yet he hadn’t changed? He was telling her that he hadn’t shifted, that he’d somehow resisted his wolf’s urges and needs all this time.

No wonder his wolf had freaked out.

“Are you kidding me?” She gaped at him.

“Zo…”

“You haven’t shifted in years and you didn’t think that was pertinent information that I should have known?”

“I know. I should have told you. I’m sorry.”

“How? Why? I mean… that’s why you were so worried about letting him near me, right? That’s why you were scared of claiming me? Marking me? You should have told me why.”

“I know. I just thought…” Rafe ran a hand through his hair, “I didn’t want you to worry.”

Zoey pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and then let it out slowly. She knew that admitting this to her was hard for him. She didn’t want to make it harder. She didn’t want to push him away. But this was all so new to her. She’d been around the pack her entire life and she’d thought she had a place in it but until Rafe came back, she hadn’t been a wolf and there was still so much she had to learn. Rafe keeping things from her, even if it was in a bid to protect her, wasn’t the way for her to find her new place within this pack.

She opened her eyes again and stared up at a devastated looking Rafe when she shook her head, “I can’t do this.”

“Zoey, no, please…” He reached for her and she sighed.

“I’m not walking away from you, Rafe.” She stepped closer to him again to reinforce her words, “I can’t. I wouldn’t even know how. You’re my mate. You’re my other half. I don’t want to leave you but I don’t want to lose you either.”

“You won’t.”

“I could have and all because you thought you were protecting me by keeping me in the dark.” She argued. “Last night, you disappeared. You let your wolf take over and he bolted.” She held her hand up when he started to speak again, “I get that he was scared. I know you were scared. I was scared too though. It was my first full moon. My first shift. And my mate abandoned me in the middle of a war zone. Do you have any idea how terrified I was?”

Rafe winced.

“I didn’t even know how to shift back. You were supposed to help me with that, remember? You weren’t there and my wolf was scared to death. I couldn’t control my emotions enough to shift back on my own. Did Michael tell you that?” She tilted her head when he didn’t meet her eyes, “Did he tell you that he had to force me to shift back?”

“Fuck. Zoey.” Rafe’s voice was hoarse with emotions, “I’m so sorry. I fucked up. I know. I know sorry doesn’t cover it, not even close, but I can promise you that it will never happen again.”

“Damn right it’s not going to happen again.” She tilted his chin so that he had to look her in the eyes, “Because you’re not going to keep secrets from me anymore. Do you understand? I won’t stand for it. I’m your mate, not your pup. I don’t need you to protect me from the truth. We’re partners. Equal partners from here on out.”

“I promise.” Rafe pulled her into his arms again and hugged her tight, “I promise, Zoey. I won’t hurt you again. You come first. I swear. I fucked up but now you know, you got stuck with a defective wolf, a defective mate. Michael was right, I’m not stable and I’m not good enough for you but I’m your mate and you’re mine and I’ll be better. I promise.”

Zoey gripped him tighter as his words sank in, “You’re not defective. Don’t you ever say that again.”

“I’m a mess.”

“You’re my mess.” She nuzzled against his chest.

“I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

“Just promise me that you won’t leave me like that again. I don’t want to lose you, Rafe. Not when I just found you. Not when we have our whole lives together ahead of us.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

“Me either.”

“Except home.” He amended as he pulled back and cupped her cheeks, “Can we go home?”

Zoey’s eyes watered a bit at the question. Home. He wanted to go home. He was standing on pack land just outside the lodge his parents had owned, but that wasn’t what he was talking about. He wanted to go home, to the cabin, with her. And he was right. It already felt more like home than her apartment ever had. Because it was theirs.

“Yeah.” She tiptoed up and kissed him softly, “Let’s go home.”