Chapter Seven
“Is the poor bastard going to make it?” Joe Updike looked over the victim photos and cringed. Sometimes being a cop really sucked.
“I don’t know. The doc said there was a lot of swelling. Even if he does, there may be brain damage. We’ll have to wait and see how he is in twenty-four hours.” Sarah Ward avoided the photos and took a sip off her thick sludge that the department called coffee. It was better than nothing, but Joe knew she wished she worked someplace that had one of those fancy espresso makers, or at least a Starbucks cart nearby.
Joe shuffled some papers around to look like he was busy with work. For some reason, he just couldn’t get his head in the game. Something was missing, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what it was. Maybe he was just lonely. Guys his age didn’t have a line of ladies beating down their door, but he knew he could find a little company if he’d wanted it. Maybe it was something else.
“Hey Ward, did you ever check the bodega on the corner before the alley?” He knew she hadn’t. She would have come to him right away with whatever she found, or didn’t find. He just wanted an excuse to talk, break the silence from his thoughts.
“Not yet, but after the anonymous caller, I won’t be letting that one slip. If there’s footage of who went down that alley with him, we might just see who our attacker is.” Ward shoved her files into her bag and sat on her partner’s desk. “It’s weird that we got a call like that so soon after the attack. Don’t you think?”
“Yeah. Whoever it was must either know something, or have seen something.” Joe propped his boots up on the desk next to Ward. They’d been partners for over five years and they worked well together. In the beginning, Joe was against having a female partner, but Sarah was the best he could hope for. She really knew her shit and he wouldn’t trade her for the world. He just didn’t need anyone thinking anything was going on between them. It had taken him this long just to be able to walk down the hall with her and not get looks from some of the older guys who’d been around before.
“Unless they’re in on it too.”
“Or that.”
“Why don’t we head down there now?” Sarah hopped off the desk and grabbed her jacket. She was always ready to jump on a new lead. Years of job funk hadn’t worn her down yet. “Then we can stop by the hospital on the way back to see if there’s any news.”
“Yeah, okay. We’re gonna nail this asshole. One way, or another. I can feel it.” Joe was trying to convince himself just as much as Sarah. He wanted to mean it more for her though. Not that he didn’t want to solve the case. He definitely did. But she wanted it more and he wanted to give her that, at least.
Ward took one last sip off her coffee, then tossed it in the trash. Joe wanted to be the type of partner that brought in fresh lattes in the morning, saving his partner from lousy java all day, but he was always afraid he’d give her the wrong idea. Not that he had any inappropriate feelings about her. If anything, he thought of her more like a daughter. Maybe that was the whole problem.
He didn’t need a repeat of the last time.
Their focus needed to be on the case.
“Updike, you coming?” Sarah stood in the doorway motioning for Joe to follow.
“Yeah. Yeah, right on it.” Joe tossed his own coffee into the trash with Ward’s and headed out the door.
They’d follow the leads, dead or not. Whatever it took to solve this case and keep that excitement in her eyes. His had died a long time ago, but Sarah, she was a different story. He would do what he could to keep her in that place for as long as possible.
***
After the way she’d left things with Lizzie, Ronnie was a little worried that her call would be sent straight to voicemail. Liz never held a grudge for too long, but she usually needed some time to cool off when she was pissed. Proving that she was definitely the better friend, Lizzie answered on the first ring and immediately asked what was wrong.
There was a lot Ronnie wasn’t sure of, especially these days, but one thing she knew for certain, she didn’t deserve how wonderful of a friend Lizzie was. Although she was more than grateful that she had her anyway.
Even though Lizzie lived fifteen minutes away, she’d made it to Ronnie’s house in ten. All it took was Ronnie saying she was in trouble and her friend was out the door, phone in hand, getting the details as she drove. Anything bad between them that had been leftover was forgotten.
“So you really almost killed the guy?” Lizzie’s eyes were wide, but she tried to keep the shock under control.
“Not intentionally.” Ronnie let out a long slow breath and continued. “At least it didn’t start that way. He was following me, being an asshole, but then he grabbed me and… I snapped.”
She left out the details about how the guy was groping her, his intent clear, because it didn’t matter. She really had almost killed him and that was overkill for what he’d done. Any self-control, or sense of right or wrong, had left her the moment he tried to shove his hand down the front of her pants. If it wasn’t for Luc showing up and physically stopping her, she would have ended him for sure.
Not even that asshole deserved what she’d done to him.
There was a long silence that hung in the air like thick smoke. Ronnie was afraid to break it, but more afraid of what her friend was thinking. She kept her head down and her hands in her lap, waiting for Lizzie to gather her thoughts.
“What is up with you? I’ve never seen you so out of control. And for you, that’s saying a lot.” Lizzie pulled her knees up and faced Ronnie on the couch. The corners of her lips pulled down and Ronnie could physically feel the concern coming off her friend. Even after how she'd treated her the other day. Or maybe that was just disappointment.
It only made her feel more guilty.
“I don’t even know. It was like I was completely out of my body, just watching from the outside. But I didn’t want to stop myself either. I wanted to keep going until he was dead, Liz. I wanted him dead.” Her voice trailed off at the end to almost a whisper, but the impact of her realization wasn’t weakened. Knowing she wanted to actually kill that man, hit her like a ton of bricks. What had she become?
Liz sighed. “Remember that time in like sixth grade, when you got into it with that little bitch. What was her name?”
“Mary.”
“Right. Mary. You were like a rabid dog. It took two teachers to pull you off her.”
Ronnie swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. “She transferred schools after that. I think if she hadn’t been the one to start it, I’d have been in a shit ton more trouble. Maybe even juvie. Not that I didn't deserve it.”
Liz snorted and poured them both another glass of tequila. “She deserved that eye patch. She was a bully.”
“No one deserves that. She was a child. Younger than Jen. What is wrong with me? Why have I always been this way? And why is it getting worse as I get older?”
Liz handed Ronnie the half full glass and waited for her to take a big gulp before speaking. “I don’t know sweetie, but you have to get a handle on this before things turn really bad. You’re not a kid anymore. The consequences now are the big time.”
“It’s already turned bad. And it’s been getting worse. I know you’ve noticed that. I have never been this out of control. Sure I’ve always felt the potential inside me, but that last fight, and now this. Any worse and I’ll be a serial killer.”
“I think there’s a little more to becoming a serial killer than that.”
“You know what I mean.” Ronnie finished the glass and sat forward to pour another. Alcohol was exactly what she needed. A lot of alcohol. And maybe a jail cell so she couldn’t hurt anyone else.
“Look at what you’ve been through. You just lost your parents, your life, everything. And now you have three kids to support. Sweetie, you’re barely an adult yourself. With so much stress, anyone would snap.”
“People live through worse than this and they don’t try to kill strangers on the street.”
Liz sighed and took a long pull off her drink. “Have you considered therapy?”
“Seriously?” Ronnie scrunched up her nose. “You know how pointless that was all the years my parents made me go. It only made me more angry and I doubt that was the intended result.”
“You were a kid then. And you didn’t want to be there. Now you’re different, you can give it a real shot.”
“Yeah,” Ronnie laughed. “I’m different now.”
“I mean, you’re old enough to understand how therapy might help. It certainly can’t hurt.”
“I might be older, but I can’t say I think it would help any more now than it did back then.” Ronnie sighed. “Look, I know you want to help, but honestly it’s probably too late. They’re going to find me and I’m going to go down for this. And I deserve to. What if he dies? I could be going away for murder.” Ronnie leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. She wondered how long she would have that ceiling to even look at. Everything was going to change. She could feel it in her bones.
“You can’t think like that. We have to stay positive until we have reasons not to be.” Lizzie rubbed over Ronnie’s arm and forced a half smile. She was trying to make Ronnie feel better, but it would take a lot more than that. Like maybe a time machine and some gene therapy to get rid of whatever it was about her makeup that made her so damn angry.
“You don’t think what’s happened is reason enough? I can’t even understand why Luc didn’t fire me. I would have fired me.”
“Maybe because he had a good enough time in the sack that he wants to keep you around for round two.”
“That’s kind of like calling me a prostitute.”
“Better than a slut.”
“Is it though? I’m not so sure.” Ronnie tried to stifle a smile. She wanted to wallow in the misery she knew she deserved, but she couldn’t help it. Lizzie knew her too well. The half bottle of tequila didn’t hurt either.
“Is everything okay?” Jen peered around the doorway in her penguin pajamas. They were the last thing their mother bought her and she wore them every night, without fail, since the accident. What would happen when Jen outgrew them was something Ronnie didn’t even want to think about. Kind of like whether or not she would even be around to see Jen grow out of them.
With a small smile, Ronnie patted the couch next to her, and waited for Jen to sit before speaking. “Everything is fine. What are you doing up? Bad dreams again?”
Jen looked down into her lap and gave a small nod. “The same one.”
Jen had been having the same nightmare since the week after their parents died. She was waiting outside of school for Ronnie to pick her up, but she never showed. Eventually, the younger girl would walk home thinking her sister just forgot. Instead, she would return to a street full of police cars and a social worker telling her that Ronnie was dead. She was orphaned, again.
Ronnie smoothed her hand over Jen’s back and leaned her head into her sister’s. “We’re going to be okay.” She didn’t really believe her words, especially now, but for her little sister, she had to try. She was all the kids had, and for better or for worse, she had to be what they needed.
At least until they threw her in jail.
Ronnie never wanted to be a parent. Like ever. When other little girls were playing with dolls and pretending to be mommies, Ronnie was planning her career and the nieces and nephews she’d visit on holidays. She certainly never asked to be responsible for three half grown kids at twenty-three. But her siblings were her last link to her parents, to the life they had before. She had to make things work. There was no other option.
Even if she may no longer have that choice much longer.
***
“You hear from her today?” Harley flopped onto the velvet sofa next to Luc in the VIP section of the club and put her feet up on the glass table. It was busy for a Sunday, but there were enough employees to handle it while she took a well-deserved break.
“I may have taken a peek into the mirror to see how she was doing.” Luc shrugged. He knew she wouldn’t like that, but he also knew she wouldn’t be surprised.
“And?” Harley raised one eyebrow, but didn’t mention the fact that Luc shouldn’t have been using devil powers to check in on her. Though her look said she was thinking it.
“She’s at home, where she should be, but she is kind of a mess. Are you sure this was a good choice? What exactly did you base it off of?”
“I’ll have you know that I took my job very seriously. I certainly couldn’t have anticipated what happened yesterday, but that doesn’t mean she can’t be a good match for you.”
“Are you sure about that?” After looking in the mirror, Luc certainly wasn’t. He still felt the need to protect the girl, but her life was a disaster and he wasn’t sure that’s what he needed in his right now. Although, he knew he wasn’t going to walk away, either.
“Yes.” Harley elbowed Luc in the ribs and glared. “Let me ask you this. When you’re around her, do you feel any different?”
“What do you mean by different?” Luc was stalling and Harley knew it.
“Don’t be an ass-face. You know what I mean.”
“Ass-face?” Luc feigned insult.
Harley ignored him and continued. “Let’s just look at it from the outside for a moment. You’ve gone out of your way to be around her, such as going to her fight.”
“You’re the one who told me to act like a human and get to know her. What was I supposed to do? Hope we ran into each other at the grocery store? Maybe ride that hideous bus on her route and save an empty seat for her so I could chat her up between stops?”
Harley rolled her eyes. “And, you spent the night with her—”
Luc Laughed. “I spend the night with many ladies, Harley. That is certainly nothing new.”
“I wasn’t finished. I don’t mean you did the nasty with her. Anyone in hearing distance knows how often you do that. I mean you spent the night with her. As in all night. You didn’t throw her out when you were done, or take away her memories.”
“Technically, she was home in her own bed before dawn. I drove her and neatly tucked her in.”
“Exactly.”
“What?” Luc shot her an innocent look, but he could tell she wasn’t buying it. Was what he did really so different? He was just trying to do what any other human would do. Wasn’t that what she wanted?
“Plus you healed her, ran to her side when she was in trouble, are attempting to keep her from paying for what she did to that man in the alley, and are checking up on her when she’s not around. And don’t think I didn’t see your face when you were looking at her that night after the fight. There is something going on inside you that is not the same as you are with every other female you’ve spent time around.”
Luc thought about what she’d said for a moment. It was different. She was right. Some tiny twinge of something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, bubbled just under the surface when he was around her. Hell, even when he thought about her. He cared how she was, though he didn’t understand why. The feeling was different than any he’d ever had. Did that mean she could be the one he’d fall in love with?
“Maybe it’s a little different.” Luc hated to admit that to Harley, mostly because he knew how much she’d enjoy it.
“See!” Harley pumped her fist in the air like she’d won a prize. It annoyed Luc more than it should have.
“So what if it is? I’m doing as you said and trying to take the game seriously. So, shouldn’t it feel different? It’s not like I’ve ever gone out of my way to get to know any random female before.”
“Well, besides me.” Harley flashed her brilliant smile.
“Now that is different.” Luc matched her smile and leaned his head back on the sofa. “No one compares to you, my feisty little minx.”
The words should have held more emotion, but Luc’s mind was elsewhere. He was still caught up in how different he felt when his mind was occupied by Ronnie Falcon. He’d barely gotten to know her, but he wanted more. It was as if some deep part of him needed to get to know every dark corner of her soul. Even if she wasn’t the one, he knew in that moment, he would follow it through to the end.
Hopefully, that didn’t mean with him visiting her from a jail cell.