****
From the time she was old enough to work the food truck, Marisol resented working on the 4th of July. The park adjoining the rodeo arena was turned into a festival, complete with games, rides and booths crammed full of interesting things. The air was redolent with popcorn, peanuts, hot dogs, cotton candy, and fried dough. Mari never wanted to work; she wanted to explore and meet people, play the carnival games and ride the rickety rides, but her mother would never allow her to wander away from the truck.
This year, Mari’s desire to explore the festivities was only compounded by her need to spend time with Dean and the awkward, almost painful silence between herself and her mother. Mari didn’t know if her father had told her mom the full truth. She didn’t know if there would be another explosion of anger; if her mother would accuse her of being a liar. She didn’t know if there was a fight brewing in the silence between them or if they were on the long road towards healing and mending the abrasion in their relationship. All she knew was that her mother wanted her to work the range instead of the window, and sweat poured from her as she prepared the orders that her mom shouted back to her. For a full day, that was the extent of their communication.
The Independence Day rodeo was a four-night event. The cowboy with the highest score across all four nights would win the fifty-thousand-dollar purse. For Dean, that would be enough to qualify him for the professional circuit.
Ralph and Waldo were also on the cusp of having enough to join the pro circuit. They all got off to an excellent start—Dean had a score of 90 for his first ride, and Ralph and Waldo had the fastest time for the team ropers.
“I hope they win,” Anna commented the next morning as she poured her coffee. “Then maybe they’ll get the hell out of town.”
Marisol sucked her breath in, drawing her mother’s sharp look. She averted her gaze, pretending not to notice, and tried to focus on her eggs, but she couldn’t get the thought of Dean leaving out of her mind. It never occurred to her that he wouldn’t win—and he deserved to win—but this was the first time she considered the reality of him becoming a professional bull rider. Of course he would leave Cody, and maybe only return once a year. If at all.
On the second night of the rodeo, Dean had the highest score with a ride worth 92 points. Mari stood in her customary spot to watch the ride, clapping and cheering as loudly as anybody else, but she didn’t linger in the arena to congratulate him after the fireworks. She couldn’t stop thinking about him leaving, couldn’t forget about the disappointment sitting in the bottom of her stomach like a heavy stone. She couldn’t ignore the reality that in a few days he might be gone and she could never see him again.
Marisol focused on her meditation exercises, doing her best to quiet her mind and focus on the bear spirit, but images of Dean invaded at every opportunity. When she finally gave up and turned off her bedroom light, she heard a small cough and the scuffle of boots outside. Peeking through her window, she saw him settling on the grass below the sill, feet out in front of him, hat pulled over his eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it again before any sound could escape. She didn’t know what to say. Didn’t even know how to talk to him without her fear and disappointment spilling out of her.
Dean found her the next day. She wasn’t trying to avoid him per se, but she did hope to not see or speak to him. Those hopes were dashed when he stepped up to the truck, wearing his most charming smile and a blue and black shirt that brought out all the rich tones in his brown eyes. He’d attracted the attention of several young women; they were blatantly making eyes at him, vying for his attention, but he didn’t appear to notice them.
“Two beef tacos and a lemonade,” Dean said.
“Coming right up. Will there be anything else?”
“Yeah,” he smiled. “Somebody who will share the tacos with me.”
“I’d love to, but I can’t.” She gestured at the long line behind him. “Too many people.”
“What about a walk after the rodeo tonight?”
Mari almost said yes before she could stop herself, but she called back the enthusiastic acceptance and simply shrugged. “Maybe? My mom might not let me.”
“I see. Tell her that we need to talk.”
“I’ll tell her.”
“Mari, if you don’t want to meet me tonight, just tell me.”
“I want to see you, Dean. I just don’t know if I can.” The line behind him was growing longer, and her mother was shooting her a glare from the range. “Here are your tacos and the lemonade. That’ll be five dollars.”
He handed her a ten. “Keep the change.”
She spent the rest of the day lost in her own thoughts, debating what she should do. She wanted to see him more than words could say—especially since she knew their time together was running short. Paradoxically, that was precisely the reason she didn’t want to meet him after the rodeo. Soon he would be gone. Why prolong the agony and extend the grief by seeing him, smelling him and touching him while knowing she could never have him?
That night, Dean didn’t have the best ride. He came in third for the evening with a rather lackluster score of 81. The bull was sedate, almost tame, compared to the other beasts, and Dean finished his ride, but he didn’t look good doing it. Mari could have tried to make her escape from the food truck to meet him after the ride, but instead, she took on all the work of cleaning up and closing down for the night. When she finally dragged herself home and collapsed in bed, she heard Dean in his customary place outside her window.